by Belvin, Love
“The problem—as you saw on the deck that day—is that Sylvester and Ezra are of the same gene pool, but are two completely different men. Sylvester is experiencing life, year by year, and Ezra could write a manual for his father and it would be a better course than Sylvester could choose for himself. Crazy thing is… Sylvester resents his son for it.” She swallowed a cry. “How can you hate your own child?”
Mary looked away again, shrugging her shoulders.
“And I didn’t help, because without many words, I’d always side with Ezra. Sylvester resented that.”
I sucked in a breath. “So you use that as a reason to be okay with his open cheating?”
Mary repeated the action. “No!” Her brows furrowed and mouth twisted unpleasantly. Then she exhaled, rolling her eyes. “I’m just giving you the general dynamics. I can be clear on the fact that Sylvester has always been a pig. He’s always wanted Marva, even when her husband George was alive. Sylvester and Marva grew up together in Warren County, North Carolina. He migrated north for employment opportunities and found his way to Redeeming Souls for Abundant Living in Christ when my father was the presiding pastor. Sylvester took a liking to the ministry and…” she faltered. “Well, I took a liking to him.”
My eyes widened. Mary giggled, smitten with the memory. With her elbows on the table she quietly smacked her palms then extended her fingers.
“What can I say? He was charming, with a dense and confident build that trapped all of us girls. But I was the biggest fool of them all because I fell for it.” She leveled her eyes with mine. “Lex, honey, when I was coming up, you married for life. I was the Bishop’s daughter and was not expected to make a shallow decision or careless mistake in marriage. When Sylvester proposed and I agreed, that was it.” She smacked her hands together to demonstrate finality.
Mary chuckled in the air again. This time with dry humor.
“My daddy didn’t like Sylvester. He said he didn’t trust him, but worked with Syl because the Bishop had no sons. I had me a country boy with charisma and manners. And he was sexy.” Her eyes roved over to me. “Yes, young lady. Young Sylvester is who gave my Ezra that body structure that I know you can’t ignore.” Her eyes squinted similar to her son’s when he was communicating something of importance, only hers didn’t sparkle for me.”
My eyes fell and went about the room.
“Anyway,” she sighed. “Sylvester didn’t make much. Was piss poor on our terms: we always had money as leaders of the church. But I didn’t care. At some point, when he got settled with his own place, Marva came up. I still haven’t worked out if he sent for her or if she came of her free will. But when she did, she didn’t come alone. She came with George, and they were married. Those two—Sly and Marva—were strange from the get go, but I didn’t pay attention. We got married and those two got even closer years after.”
My face wrinkled and Mary drew closer to me.
“That’s all I ever knew of my husband…for him to be so close to that woman. Her husband saw it, too. I guess that’s when I sealed my fate by allowing them to just…be.” She shrugged with her neck. “I was in community college right after we got married and didn’t spend so much time around him. After that, I got pregnant with Ezra. Two years later, Marva worked her way into several auxiliaries we had at the church, right next to my husband. So for years I wondered if Sylvester made that baby girl with Marva until her features turned her into George’s twin.”
My eyes went wide again.
“Yup. It was Peyton Place at Redeeming Souls.” Mary shook her head in shame. “My daddy was so disappointed in me. My momma died around that time and had her suspicions, too, of what was going on. My daddy cured his feelings about it by falling in love with Ezra. He laid claim on that boy the day the doctor took him from me. My mother had just passed and my father was at the hospital with us. I think that’s when his feelings for Sylvester changed. He was getting old and loved something that came from that ‘slick fox’, as daddy would call him.”
Mary’s face fell, pain struck in every inch of it.
“He never looked at me the same after Ezra was born. But he didn’t have to; he looked at Ezra. He spent so much time with him, teaching him, listening to him, molding him…loving him. When daddy passed the church down to Sylvester, I still believe it was because he was blinded by his love for Ezra. He would take him on weekends and school breaks. They’d go up there to Jersey, doing only God knows what in those woods. But one thing was for sure: they bonded like the son daddy never had.”
I sighed, shaking my head to snap out of trying to see Ezra as a child. Mary painted him as magnetic to his grandfather, an aged man. That’s how he’d always been to me.
“Daddy died when Ezra was around twelve and I was scared for him. I had every right to be. Ezra and Sylvester always fought, and I never did, on this issue with him and Marva. I found my own world, lived against their ‘bond.’ When George died a little more than twenty years ago, Ezra and Precious gained a relationship. I still don’t understand the nature of it. Then…” she shook her head, almost ghostly. “Ezra changed. It was like he snapped. When we flew out to California for his graduation from college, he didn’t look the same…didn’t talk the same. Over dinner, he told us he was leaving for Jerusalem the next day. My heart crushed. It was such a surprise. Sylvester and me thought he would come home and continue the ministry. Ezra had other plans. He was…angry.”
Mary sat back and shook her head, visibly caught up in the haunting memory of losing her son to his first pilgrimage. I knew there were more after that one. He’d told me.
“Listen, Lex,” I realized I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard her demanding tone. “That was just the start of Ezra’s peculiar behavior. Since then, he did countless things that confused me and infuriated his father. Although I kept in touch with him, Ezra left me lonely to deal with his father. And I withdrew from my marriage, creating my own little world.” Her painted fingers feathered out, gesturing the room. “Then came some health issues that I’ve taken on alone. But I fought to stay on top of Ezra’s whereabouts. I received him every time at the airport when he was forced to come home for residency purposes or funerals. Each time I prayed he’d stay. Each time he’d break my heart when he left.”
She sighed, and her deep dread swarmed my skin.
“One time he and Syl got into it and Ezra said he didn’t know if he believed in God anymore. That tore his father to pieces, made him mad. It hurt me to my core. What was he out there doing to make him say something so crazy? What demon had hopped into my child?” Her eyes were wild, reliving her pain. “He would be gone for long periods, to places I ain’t never heard of. Some of them he admitted were dangerous. The worst times were when he didn’t call regularly because he couldn’t call. The worst fear is believing your child is in danger or dead. He could have been killed out there!” She shook her head, trying to regulate her volume.
“Ezra always marched to the beat of his own drum. Even when he came home, he didn’t date. Never looked twice at a woman. Poor Precious just bided her time, waiting on him. I didn’t like her for him. Hated the idea,” she spit with a screwed face. “It reminded me of her mother. I may have accepted Syl and Marva together, but I didn’t want that for my child.”
Anger surging my veins again, I blabbed, “Well, why do you think I should be okay with it? Do you guys really think it’s cool, sharing a man? Ezra doesn’t.” At least it was what he’d told me.
“I didn’t.” She shook her head again emphatically. “I just didn’t know if he was okay with it, and that if he was, you’d be okay with it. I was going to tell you about it sooner when I was trying to reach out to you. You know…have some girl chat and give you the heads up. I didn’t expect you at the meeting. Ezra called me this morning and made it very clear that I am not to even speak of my marriage with you.” Mary grabbed her forehead, exasperated. “The thing with Ezra is nobody can reach him. Not since my father, his grandfather. No matt
er how much I’ve tried over the years, I couldn’t get through to him or influence him. I could only hang on to his every whim. Whatever Ezra wants to do, he’ll do. He lives up there in the woods where he does karate in his backyard. He has all that education, but decides to work in a laboratory. And yes, he’s a therapist, but I feel like he does that more for…fun. It’s not for money. My son isn’t the most social being.”
She shifted toward me. “I need for him to take over Redeeming Souls and set it back to the high standards my daddy left it in. No more politics. No more fraternity activities. Bring it back to the sodality that God would honor. My Ezra can do that.” Mary cracked a smile. “I believe in him.”
“And me?” I asked with laced sarcasm. “What does your wish have to do with me?” I was still lost on that.
“You were just as unexpected as all of his other wild risks in the past, but you—him getting married—resembled something normal that I can identify. Usually I can never predict his decisions or understand them. I’m sure it’s not easy being married to him, but I want this to work. I need this for Ezra. Him marrying you, no matter how quick it was, for me it was a sign of him being normal.” Mary hit me with pleading eyes, grabbing my hand gently for measure. “I just want what I can identify as normal for my child and right now, you’re it.”
And that’s when I got it. No, I didn’t understand Mary being okay with her husband cheating on her and basically duplicating her role as his wife, but I understood her feelings toward her son. She recognized his contrary and sometimes perverse nature. Beyond his nature, she didn’t know her son. She couldn’t find him underneath the multitude of masks he wore. This disclosure didn’t reveal anything more about my husband, but I now didn’t feel as alone trying to figure him out and wanting to take desperate measures to satisfy him. This woman was going to try to coax me into a lifestyle that was sinful according to her very own religion. It was disgusting and unacceptable in my book. But Mary was willing to try to satisfy her son. A son she didn’t even know was appalled by her lifestyle.
I took a deep breath. “I’m with Ezra on keeping your practices to yourself, Mary, but I appreciate you being candid about your feelings for your son. If it makes you feel better, what you shared does encourage me to have more patience with him. You were right, he is…different.”
Ezra was beyond different he was as frustrating as hell. He was baffling, arrogant, and controlling as I could ever imagine a man to be. Nonetheless, he was the man I wanted. The one who captured something in me I never knew existed. It was the very thing that made the decision for me that I would carry out from this very moment on: I would vie for my husband’s heart.
“Mary, I don’t agree with the way you go about your marriage and I hope you understand completely that Ezra and I play by our own rules…rules we created to make this marriage possible.” Her brows pinched and eyes danced in desperate need of understanding. “If you can promise to miss me with that sharing husband bullshit”—her eyes ballooned—“I can promise to keep an open mind about getting to know you and not shutting you out of the one clear avenue you’re pursuing to get to know him.” I regarded her sternly.
I meant each word. I would not get caught up in the bullshit politics of in-laws. As it stood, I didn’t fit their mold like princess Precious. As Ezra was with Ms. Remah and my father, I didn’t care to try. It wasn’t a clause in our covenant, as he would say.
With undisputed desperation in her pained eyes, Mary nodded in agreement. I gained, in that moment, my own covenant with First Lady Carmichael.
Lex
“Last one,” Ezra noted across the table.
My eyes traveled from him, over to Stenton Rogers. Stenton downed the last of his glass then nodded.
“Yip,” he concurred while sitting up in his seat.
“What about Alton Alston?” Ezra asked.
“Alton?” Zoey remarked as she entered the dining room with a pitcher of fresh punch. “Wake me the day it comes. By the way,” she glanced over to her husband after taking a seat next to him. “I forgot to tell you he’s stopping by to pick up the bag he left the other day.”
Stenton rolled his eyes, and I wondered what that was all about. It had also dawned on me how weird it was sitting at an NBA All-Star’s dining room table in his mansion, finishing up on dinner, and discussing another baller’s career. Did I mention the prior NBA player was my husband’s close friend?
“When?” Stenton asked his wife.
She shrugged just after forking in chicken casserole, a dish that had my full belly dancing happily on its toes. I was starving when we arrived after enduring two Sunday morning worship services, back to back. Ezra and I didn’t stay behind long in the Bishop’s Lounge where refreshments were served.
“Sometime today,” she garbled with a mouthful, reminding me why she had been appealing to me since she welcomed us into their home today.
“Shit,” Stenton muffled. “This muthafucka—”
“Hey!” Zoey scolded with a wrinkled face, still chewing her food. “The pastor’s in the house! Please don’t behave like a heathen on the day he’s here.” She pointed to Ezra with her fork. “You’ll make him think I’m not on my job with washing that mouth out with soap!” She then addressed Ezra directly with a whisper, “He’s worked his way down to using expletives only when excited.” Zoey winked and went back to her food.
Ezra chuckled freely—he did that a lot with Stenton—I’d noticed and had to face my jealousy issues as it concerned him. I also, on the other hand, felt I had a potty-mouth brethren. That spurred to mind his profanity when he appraised the sandbox that day I walked in on Ezra showing it to him. It was refreshing to see someone else getting yelled at for cussing. It warmed me to Stenton and especially to Ezra. It made me aware of how down to earth my husband really was, and how much of a holy roller he was not. I’d rather focus on that than recalling Stenton seeing the place where Ezra morphed me into the sex fiend he’d unearthed. Getting lost in that thought would have had me blushing like a damn fool at this table.
Stenton rolled his eyes over to Zoey, half offended and half amused. His mouth set into a suspicious pout. “Zo, please! You know what time it is when he comes through. I’m too tired to be dealing with dude.”
“Yeah, well…” Zoey sighed as she continued with her food.
Stenton shook his head and resumed the conversation with Ezra. “He’s not thinking about retiring.”
Zoey blew out air and murmured, “He’s in denial.”
And I laughed at that. She was never short of a sharp remark.
“Well, I’m sure all in due time,” Ezra provided a save for the Alston guy.
The small walkie-talkie-like device near Stenton sounded. The voice of a woman speaking another language, possibly Spanish, came through.
“Ah!” Ezra exclaimed with a wide smile, clearly having understood what the woman had expressed. “The princess has awakened.”
“And here I thought I’d have a few more minutes of adult time,” Zoey sighed, but with light eyes.
It was clear she loved their newborn. On the way over, Ezra shared that Zoey had given birth to their second child recently. I hadn’t realized she was pregnant back in the winter when Lillian pointed them out in Bible class the first time I laid eyes on Ezra. Neither did I know she was pregnant at the wedding because she didn’t mingle with the wedding party her husband was a part of. I’d guessed her pregnancy at the time was why. I could hardly tell today she was postpartum: she was small. Zoey and I were the same age, but couldn’t be any different in features. She was a caramel complexion, a hue lighter than Stenton and Ezra, and she was of average height. She wore no makeup and didn’t need any, considering the equal shade across her face. Her hair was long and thick, but not as much volume as mine. And she didn’t seem as high maintenance as Elle, though I really liked her, too.
Stenton replied in the same language the woman spoke with on the walkie-talkie, seemingly giving an order.
&
nbsp; “Yes,” Ezra agreed with zeal. “Bring her down so I can meet her. Have you guys decided on a date for her christening, or have I missed that already?”
Stenton’s regard went over to Zoey and she returned it.
That was odd.
She used her head to gesture across the table toward Ezra.
“Well, go on,” Zoey demanded. “It was your call.”
I glanced over to Ezra who fingered his beard absentmindedly, but I could see in his eyes he was just as baffled as me. However, he didn’t utter a word.
“It’s not that deep, Zo,” Stenton supplied awkwardly.
“Then, ask him,” Zoey goaded before going back to her plate.
The table turned silent and I once again glanced over to Ezra and got nothing.
Ezra broke the awkward pause. “Any more on the horizon?”
That’s when Zoey’s head popped up and she blushed visibly.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ezra smiled, pleased.
“She’s crazy, E. I don’t know how she does it all,” Stenton commented, aghast.
Unable to hide her embarrassment or fight her smile, Zoey held up one finger as she swallowed. “Just one more and that’s it. When I was growing up with my sister, I always wanted a tie-breaker.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to expand your family, Zoey. You have an adequate partner, who can provide for your progenies. There’s no problem with that,” Ezra affirmed.
“Well, I can take care of them on my own, but I get what you mean.”
“Oh, here we go with the B.S., Niña!” Stenton tossed his hands in the air.
Zoey giggled as she placed her head on his shoulder. Though I perceived Stenton to be nipped by that claim of independence, I could tell his affection for her trumped the sting.
“I told you Zo be on that feminist tip,” Stenton addressed Ezra. “She denies it, but I be knowing.”
Ezra laughed. I smiled myself, but I couldn’t miss their chemistry. This party seemed to have a history…a bond that I wasn’t privy to. That wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I’d at least had one with Ezra that resembled what Zoey had with Stenton. Maybe still being angry with me about my confrontation the other night kept Ezra from realizing the contrast in our chemistry when compared to that of the Rogers’.