Crashing Into Destiny

by Rebecca Royce

  His eyebrows shot up. “You were watching.” He didn’t ask a question, so I didn’t answer one. Instead, I waited to see what he’d say. “How did you know it was me? We’re all covered head to toe when we leave the compound. Height?”

  “Height was a factor, but I became convinced when I saw your black coat. That’s how I identified you, the coat.”

  He grinned. “It’s just a better coat than the ones they gave us. I don’t care what they say. I’m warmer in it.” He groaned and shook his head. “Okay, well. We don’t like to dispose of the body parts of the Infected inside the compound. It’s an extra measure we probably don’t need to take, but I feel better for having done. I take them outside and burn them in the compactor we set out there.”

  Every so often, I wished I hadn’t asked a question. My mind could get me into trouble. This was one of those times. Did I understand reality? Sure. Did dead Zombies have to be disposed of in specific places? Absolutely. Did I wish I could stop picturing dead body parts? Yes.

  “Have I grossed you out?” He looked down at the floor. In the short time I’d been around him, I’d seen Lewis look away quite a bit. Did he have a problem with eye contact?

  I crossed over toward him until I was near him. Gently, I placed a hand on his arm. “I’m not meant to be a doctor. I’m glad you are and others like you. Thanks for doing what you do.”

  He didn’t speak, his gaze rising to meet mine. His other hand pressed against mine, squeezing. We stood like that for a second. “Sleep well, Diana.”

  There were only the two of us here. He liked to say my name. I smiled. “You too, Lewis.”

  With a nod, he dropped my hand and walked from the bay where Artemis and I would spend the night. I didn’t like how off-balance I felt with Lewis gone. I stood too long, not moving. These guys had a way of throwing me so off-balance.

  Judge, with the way he bounced and watched me like I was actually something to look at. Lewis, who seemed to see right through me even though he barely regarded me head on at all. Damian, with his accusing eyes and hot temper. Sterling, who somehow I had hurt by simply being me. And Cash … I couldn’t get a read on him yet. He seemed withdrawn, yet he seemed to know everything around him.

  Strangers, I knew how to handle. What was I to do with such intensity around me all of the time?

  I climbed the steps Judge must have left and made my way through the hatch into Artemis. She smelled like home. Clean with a touch of vinegar in the air. I’d had to make do with what cleaning products were available. Vinegar had become a scent I liked.

  As fast as I could, I got to my bedroom. It had been my mother’s room when we’d lived on the ship. Her decorations were gone. A white sheet from storage and a brown blanket plus one pillow was how I slept every night. I stripped out of my jumpsuit and put on my pajamas. They weren’t coated in the substance Judge used to keep us warm, and I immediately noticed the difference. I wouldn’t be freezing, but I was certainly cold.

  I hadn’t asked Judge about washing the outfit. Thinking I’d better be safe than sorry, I hung it up carefully and scurried to the bed.

  “Artemis, lights. Off.” I wrapped myself in the blanket and tried to close my eyes. Sleep was sometimes hard for me. I lay still for a while and tried to doze. When I didn’t manage to bring on dreamland, I spoke to Artemis again. “Artemis, family picture. July. Last year.”

  A shot of my family at my Uncle Nolan’s birthday party flipped onto the screen. We’d been on the station in Nolan’s favorite restaurant, where they served breakfast all day. Every one of us had been there. My mother, my father, Uncle Nolan, Uncle Wes, Uncle C.J., Uncle Cooper, Uncle Dane, and all the kids. Asher—Cooper’s son—Colin—Dane’s son—Edward—C.J.’s son—John—Wes’ son—and my twin baby sisters Iris and Felicity—Nolan’s daughters. When my mom announced she wanted a child from each husband, they’d all agreed right off except for Uncle Nolan. He’d finally given in, and in turn had two kids to obsess over instead of just one. And girls to boot. Standing next to my father, Geoff, was me. Smiling from ear-to-ear.

  I looked so out of place with the group, so much older than my siblings yet not aged enough to be considered an equal to my parents. Still, I loved them, and we’d been happy in that moment. People sometimes stared when we went out in public all together. No one had as many kids as they did. I’d never really cared.

  They were somewhere, and they would come for me. I had to believe.

  I fell asleep staring at their faces.

  I didn’t sleep long. A loud wailing sound startled me awake, and I grabbed the blanket around me, my heart in my throat. Had the Zombies gotten in? What was happening?

  It took me a second to realize I heard wind. It was wind. In the lower parts of the space station, we could hear a faint sound of it. Particularly in some of the engineering ducts. But I’d never heard anything like this before. Why was it so loud? I hadn’t heard the wind when I’d been alone on Artemis when I’d been in hiding. The walls were still thick. Inside the bay, it should be even more secure.

  Tears threatened, and I pushed them back. I didn’t get to be weak. I couldn’t be. I hid under the covers and pretended I was fine. Maybe I would believe it soon.

  A noise inside Artemis caught my attention. Footsteps. Oh, no. It was the Zombies. They’d gotten out and …

  “Diana?” Damian’s voice startled me, and I yelped, my heart so loud I could hear it. “Are you okay?”

  I tried to speak. “D-D-Damian? What are you doing here?”

  His footsteps were steady while he walked toward me. “Judge realized he didn’t give you any other clothes. I brought them. I figured if you were awake, I owed you an apology. If you were asleep, I’d have left them and gone.”

  I pulled the blanket down and stared up at Damian. In the dark room, I couldn’t see his face. “Artemis, lights. Two degrees.”

  A dull glow entered the bedroom. Damian continued to regard me, his eyebrows sloped down. He chewed on his bottom lip. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

  “That noise. What’s going on?”

  It took him a second to respond. “Do you mean the wind? Oh, you’ve not heard it before. I didn’t think …. summer winds. They come toward the end of every season on Orion. Loud, but spring and winter will be louder. I hardly hear them anymore. Don’t be afraid. You’re safe here.”

  “Th-Thanks.” I wanted to burrow down into my blanket again but couldn’t as long as he was here. Damian wasn’t someone I wanted to show any weakness to. Maybe ever.

  He set down the aforementioned clothes on a chair next to the bed and then sat back down next to me. “I owe you an apology.”

  “Accepted.” I never held onto anger, and he needed to go.

  He sucked in his breath. “Just like that?”

  “Sure.”

  “You’re really afraid right now. Is it just the wind or me too?”

  Him? No, I wasn’t afraid of him. Maybe I should be. He was still a stranger—and one who wanted to turn me over to his corporation. He hated my uncle. Snapped at me. Still, I didn’t feel fear when it came to him. “The wind. I don’t do fear well. Better for me to hunker down and wait it out.”

  “Damn. Um.” He stood and took off his shoes. Why did he do that? “The wind is going to last days and days, and then it’ll be Fall. Not that we humans, feel much of a difference between the temperatures. But our computers will note it. I’m going to climb in there, unless you tell me not to, and lay down with you. I hate being scared. Company helps. I’ll keep to the other side of this big bed.”

  I’d never slept with anyone, not since I’d been twelve, anyway. When Asher was born, the baby needed that kind of attention, and I’d suddenly found myself being called things like young lady and grown-up girl. I was smart. It meant, among other things, I couldn’t go running into my mom’s bed at night and curl up with her and whichever husband she was with. They were busy with the baby.

  “Okay.” I couldn’t believe I uttered the wor
d even as I said it.

  Damian pointed at the lights. “Turn them back down? Will the computer take direction from me?”

  “Artemis will take direction from anyone who wants to give it to her. Artemis, lights off.”

  Damian scooted into the other side of the bed. With the lights off, my family’s picture was much better illuminated again. “Artemis, screen off.”

  “Was that your family?” Damian asked as soon as I shut down the screen. “Lots of siblings.”

  One of them was his cousin. Since we lay in the dark together and already his presence in the bed had warmed me considerably, I decided not to mention Asher right then. I made a sound somewhere close to a, “Hmm.”

  The wind blew around us, not lessening but seeming to get louder. “You took my apology really quickly. I was rude to you. Make me work at saying sorry.”

  “I …” I sighed. “I’ve never seen the point. Life moves on whether I accept your apology or not. I’ve always found it easier to simply get back on pleasant terms with whoever dished out the insult, intended or not, and get on with getting on.”

  He turned on his side, leaning on his elbow. I couldn’t see him in the dark, just the outline of his body. “What about how whatever that person did had made you feel? Sometimes they should have to feel badly for a length of time to learn not to do it again.”

  “Did you feel badly already? You trekked over here to bring me the clothes and apologize. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have bothered.”

  “Diana.” The sound of my name was soft. “Tell me off. Okay? If I ever do something rude again, tell me off. You deserve to really nail whoever is rude to you.”

  “That’s not my way.” A thought dawned on me. “Sometimes I’m rude. I don’t usually mean to be. Are you going to tell me off?”

  “Um.” He actually laughed, a hard sound which surprised me and made me clutch the blanket tighter. “No, I don’t know. I haven’t spent enough time around women to know. Just my mom. I never told her off. Her last name was Osborne. That’s what I use now. Special woman. I miss her. I don’t know if I’m going to tell you off or not. I’m not really a yeller usually.”

  I supposed his words made sense. “Then we’ll figure it out and hope I don’t make you mad.”

  He lay on his back. I closed my eyes. I’d never in a million years have guessed I’d end up in bed with Damian. Eventually, his breathing evened and then slowed. He snored, a low sound in his throat that didn’t bother me. It was more like knowing he was there than anything else. I let myself drift into the sound of it. Damian’s breaths, as low and soft as they were, drowned out the wind and even my own thoughts into nothingness. I fell into sleep.

  Sometime in the middle of the night, we must have moved toward each other. I woke up with his arm slung over my body and my legs twisted up in his. He wasn’t snoring anymore but breathing lightly, his eyes closed. I clung to his shirt and quickly let go. I didn’t want to be inappropriate. I wondered if I’d bothered him with how I gripped him while he slept.

  Instead of moving away, he pulled me closer and muttered something unintelligible. The wind blew loudly. In the hallway, Artemis had started the daytime routine with the lights. In space, it was always dark. I determined day from night based on the ship’s routine, which kept us in steady awake/sleep cycles. The light outside said it was early morning. Probably not time to be awake yet.

  I rolled over, which was hard with his arm around me, but he didn’t let go. I didn’t want to be caught staring at Damian when he opened his eyes. His head dipped down; his nose pressed against my hair. I wasn’t getting back to sleep. Not with the way his holding me brought my body awake. I wanted him. I’d never had sex, the idea sometimes terrifying me. Would I have to speak to the guy afterward for a long length of time? I had urges just like everyone else, although they passed quickly. I didn’t harp on good looks or let myself daydream.

  Paloma, my best friend on Mars Station before she’d been sent off to the Sisters for getting into trouble, and I used to talk about boys. She’d point at some she liked; I’d mention others. We never liked the same guys. It had been harmless. Then she’d been caught kissing a station engineer. Her parents were way stricter than mine. My own mother might have been relieved. But her father was a council member back then, and he’d shipped her to a life of meditation until he and the Sisters deemed her ready for the world again. We still wrote once a week.

  She was investing in people’s lives and doing good works while I obsessed on the station.

  I wanted Damian. Badly. It would pass, I was sure. When he got of bed and I could reclaim my headspace. But right then, I wanted to feel alive with him in a way I never had before.

  He moved slightly, and I felt his hips close to mine. He wasn’t hard. I wasn’t well-versed in everything, but the basics didn’t elude me. He sucked in a long breath, and I knew he’d be waking up any second. I closed my eyes. I would pretend to be asleep. Sometimes I had no options except bad ones. Pretending to be asleep was my best out.

  His hand flexed against my stomach, and he groaned slightly. He didn’t let go and instead rubbed his forehead against the back of my head. Then he fell silent again. He wasn’t back to sleep. I knew the difference in his breathing.

  He didn’t move, and neither did I. Minutes passed.

  Finally, he let go of me, and I immediately missed his warmth. He sat up, the covers moving slightly when he did. I decided it was a good time to wake up. I stretched my arms over my head and sat.

  He rubbed his eyes and looked at me. “Hi.”

  “Good morning.” I sat upright until we were shoulder to shoulder on the bed. “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Honestly”—half his mouth rose in a smile—“never better in my entire life. Not even when I was out cold in hyperspace.”

  Maybe he needed company sometimes, too. “Once I fell asleep I was out like that too. Thanks for coming and making last night okay.”

  His eyes flared before they hooded into an unreadable gaze again. “Thank you for accepting my apology and letting me sleep in your bed.”

  “Knock-knock.” Judge rounded the corner. “I brought coffee. Let’s work on your ship before we … Oh, sorry. Excuse me.” He backed up but didn’t leave the room, his eyes huge as he stared at us. I saw a million emotions cross his face.

  “No.” Damian jumped to his feet. “It’s absolutely not what you’re thinking. I brought her the clothes. I apologized. She forgave me. She was terrified of the wind. I stayed here so she wouldn’t be alone in fear. End of story.”

  Maybe that was the end of the story for him. I put on my best smile. He’d clearly not been as taken with me as I was with him. Not wanting to be any more uncomfortable, I got out of the bed. Judge’s face seemed more relaxed.

  “I’ll get dressed fast and come. What’s the deal with washing the clothes? Is it just normal? Or do I have to take care of the substance?”

  “Normal wash. Use the laundry facility. I did the best I could for sizes. Everything is going to be too big for you. Only the jump suit is one size fits all.”

  I touched his shoulder. “I appreciate you even thinking of it. You’re so kind to me.”

  “Well, you know, beautiful girl practically falls into our pad, and I’m not going to be a jackass.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I told you …”

  “Judge.” Damian padded toward him. “Don’t talk to her like that. It’s not appropriate.”

  With laughter, Judge responded, “I told her yesterday that she was beautiful, and she didn’t faint at my feet. She doesn’t believe me. Told me I was wrong, and I don’t think she’s just saying that. So I’m going to keep telling her until she says, ‘Thank you, Judge,’ and knows I only ever speak the truth.”

  Damian rounded on me. “Do you seriously not think you’re beautiful?”

  It was too early for this. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

  I fled into the bathroom.

  Chapter Six
>
  Repairing what’s broken

  The clothes I chose didn’t fit well, unsurprisingly. I had to roll the sleeves and the pants and then pin everything together. Being five feet tall, I was way shorter than any of them. My underwear was going to tear sooner or later. I might have to figure out how to sew. I was sure Artemis could give me instructions. Lewis had offered to replicate some shoes for me. My own were not going to be great for withstanding the cold. For now, they would do. I left the slippers he’d given me on the side of my bed.

  If I’d had any shoes on when they’d taken me, I’d never have gotten my slippers. I smiled down at them. I don’t know why I liked them so much. But I did, and unless they asked me for them back, I was going to keep them.

  I hurried outside, hoping Judge hadn’t left. He’d wanted to work on Artemis, and that’s what I really desired, too. I had to get her fixed before Damian sent for Evander. Damian … who had held me so close … was going to give me away to his corporation.

  Outside Artemis, Judge waited for me. He stared at the ship with his head tilted.

  “Ah, Diana.” He grinned. “I think we need to take more than this section off. I walked the side. I’m concerned about some of the bulking I see.”

  Bulking? “Where? Show me?”

  Together we walked around the outside of the ship. He pointed out various parts that caused him concern. I wasn’t surprised. We’d been attacked by Sandler, and then I’d not been able to get outside to fix her because of the weather. In retrospect, I was glad it hadn’t fallen apart in route. Not that I’d exactly planned my trip.

  “Tell me the truth. I’m in over my head. Is she salvageable?” If she wasn’t, I needed to start accepting my fate. Or stealing one of their shuttles, which I really hated the thought of. I didn’t want to be a thief. Then again, I preferred to be a thief than a piece of chattel.

  He knocked his shoulder into mine gently. “Are you kidding? Piece of cake.”