Tortured Soul

by Kirsty Dallas

  CHAPTER 10

  BRAIDEN

  I sat behind my large mahogany desk, and typed an email to my stepfather. I was brooding and pissed off over the way I had manhandled Emily. I had touched her—hell, I had more than touched her—I had mauled her. And it had frightened her. I was tempted to find Larz or Bomber and ask them to kick the shit out of me for being such a spineless, arrogant bastard. Instead I ended up here, at my computer thanking Alexander for the private jet and doing the unthinkable—asking him for another favor. The scales were going to tip back in his favor. I needed to find Jonas Levier and I knew Alexander had the ability to help me.

  Dillon entered the room and sat down in front of me. He stretched his long legs out and laced his hands behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world. We already had a meeting with whole team earlier. I explained that I would possibly be leaving as soon as tomorrow...today... I needed to take Jonas out. While he was living and breathing, he would always be a threat to Emily. Bomber and Gabbie would come with me, and Larz would stay here to watch over Em.

  Dillon sat quietly and watched me with far too much speculation in his eyes. I sent my email and put the computer into hibernation mode, then rested back in my comfortable leather chair. For a moment I reveled in the peace that coming home gave me, such an occasional feeling that I relished. I had traveled the world, had stood on every continent to be honest. And all of those travels had led me here. This is where I felt comfortable. There was tranquil stillness here in Claymont that I hadn’t managed to find anywhere else. My life had taken a deadly and unusual path, but led me here. I was happy with here, but my moment of contentment didn’t last long. The image of the damaged girl two doors down filled my mind.

  I raised my brows in silent invitation, urging Dillon to get whatever it was on his mind out in the open.

  “What’s going on with you and Emily?”

  Never one to beat around the bush, his question didn’t surprise me. Can’t say it didn’t piss me off, but nevertheless, we were business partners and family. He had a right to ask, more so than anyone else.

  “I’ve spent two months searching for her. I found her, literally carried her out of captivity, and have spent the last three days keeping her alive while trying to keep her sane. To say I am invested in this case is a reasonable expectation.”

  It was Dillon’s turn to raise a brow. “You were invested long before Emily was taken from Claymont. The girl had you twisted in knots before you had even met her.”

  I shrugged, I couldn’t argue because it was the truth. Her story, her picture, it had touched a place inside of me that triggered a switch. Protectiveness had reared its head and there was no way I could switch it off.

  “She doesn’t need a new master or a lover, Braiden, she needs help.”

  My raised brow lowered into a pissed off scowl. I was irritated that he had judged me as a prick who would take advantage of Emily. I was even more pissed off that he was right. I had slipped up with Emily, and as much as I wanted her, I wanted to protect her more, even if it was from myself.

  “You think I would hurt her like that?” I growled.

  Dillon shook his head. “No, not intentionally, but your emotions are all over the place. I see the way you look at her. It’s with possessiveness and something else, maybe misplaced affection?”

  “There is nothing misplaced about the affection I feel for Emily. Yes, I care for her more than I should and I can’t help that. But I sure as hell can control what I do about it. I won’t be jumping into bed with her the first chance I get.”

  I cringed at the memory of kissing her. If she had wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed her heated core to my groin, would I have been able to stop? I tried to think I would have, but something told me all sensibility went out the door where Emily was concerned. I needed to get her home, back to Rebecca, and then I needed to get the fuck away from her. I didn’t trust myself being so close. Hunting Jonas was just the distraction I needed.

  “The possessiveness comes with the territory, Dillon. You and Dave both agreed that it was possible I might need to assume a roll of dominance with Emily to help transition her from captivity to freedom. To play that roll takes something that you most likely won’t understand, but it needed to be done. With that control comes with proprietary. I’m not dead, I can’t help those emotions.”

  Dillon sighed and rubbed a hand over his buzz cut hair. “I know, I know,” Dillon said, his hands raised in surrender. “I just don’t want her to get hurt,” he looked up at me, “or you.”

  “Did you grow a pussy while I was away?” I asked with a frown.

  Dillon laughed. “It seems I did.”

  A smile broke free on my lips. “Okay, at least you admitted it.” I sighed. “She needs to see Dave. She is definitely showing signs of PTSD, nightmares, possibly flashbacks. She has a strong armor, but underneath it she is terrified of pretty much everything.” Dillon nodded in agreement. “She is going to be pissed off with me when I leave, but I have to go. She isn’t safe until Jonas Levier is six feet under. I hope Rebecca realizes what she is in for.”

  “I don’t think any of us are really sure what we are in for with Emily.”

  I sighed. “She is going to need help, Dillon, more than what we can probably offer her.”

  “We’ll take care of it and she will be protected at all times. You concentrate on Jonas. The sooner you deal with him the sooner Emily can begin to heal.”

  I nodded and stood from behind the desk. I was exhausted, I’m pretty sure I had sand in places sand has no business being, and the fine layer of salt from my ocean swim had left my skin dry and itchy.

  “I’m going to take a shower and get a few hours of sleep. Larz and I will take Emily home first thing in the morning. I’ve contacted Alexander asking for his assistance...” I glanced at Dillon waiting for his reaction. Nothing. If he was surprised, he hid it well behind a mask of indifference. “He’s going to ask around and try to get a location on Levier. I could do it on my own, but things will progress much faster with his help.”

  “You’ll owe him,” Dillon said matter-of-factly.

  “Yep, but she’s worth it.” Dillon grunted. “Speaking of women, how’s Annie—” Dillon shot me a ‘don’t go there’ glare, as if that would deter me. “You get your act together and ask her out yet?”

  “Guess I had that coming after my little Emily tirade, huh?” asked Dillon, and I nodded. “Well,” Dillon stood up and stretched, “hope the suspense doesn’t kill you, ‘cause I have no intention of sharing my love life with you.” He was out the door promptly following that. I got what I wanted though, my cousin out of my hair. It was just too easy.

  ***

  I was awake, showered and dressed half an hour after the sun had risen. Stopping by Emily’s door, I pressed my ear against it and listened. Silence, so I assumed she was still asleep and left her alone to grab some breakfast. I would deliver Emily to her sister today, and by nightfall I would be on a jet with my team. The thought of leaving Emily behind sent a bolt of fear right to my gut. I knew Larz would give his life to protect her; it was the only reason I was able to pry myself away. My mood had soured at the thought of leaving Em. She was not going to take it well. I wanted nothing more than to stay with her and help her overcome the damage instilled by the monster Levier, but the need to make her life safe was overpowering. The need to fuck her was just as overpowering, so I needed to distance myself from Emily Donovan. The sun was high in the sky and Em still hadn’t made an appearance. We needed to get moving. I tapped gently on her door before entering.

  “Em?” I called out as I walked into the room. Any further words were stuck in my throat. A gloriously naked Emily was sitting in her submissive resting pose on the floor by her bed. I couldn’t help looking over her feminine figure. She was beautiful, even with the scars that laced her skin. My hands trembled with the need to touch her. I squeezed my eyes shut and locked the desire down deep.

 
“Em, please stand up.”

  She stood with her eyes still downcast. I willed myself to keep my eyes above her chest. I moved forward and placed a finger under her chin to lift her gaze to mine. Being able to see one’s eyes and facial expressions was my key to reading people. Women especially wore their emotions in their eyes and on their faces. Emily was good at hiding hers, but I could see through her façade. Right now, Emily’s eyes held confusion.

  “Get dressed, Malen’kaya. Put on the shirt I left for you last night and the shorts from yesterday.” I stood back and waited while she quickly dressed. Obedience was not a problem for Emily; it was one of the most significant marks Jonas had left on her. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” She shook her head. “Follow me.”

  Before she left the room, she quickly ran back to the bed and slipped a piece of paper out from under her pillow. I recognized it immediately as the new mantra I had written for her. It warmed my heart to know she still had it. One day soon, I hoped the words would be repeated with conviction, and eventually, the need to keep it gone.

  In the kitchen, Larz handed me a plate of toast. “Sit,” I commanded, and she went to kneel. “On the chair, Em,” I gently corrected.

  I was trying hard not to come across as abrupt, but my dark mood was making it difficult. Once I fed her the slice of toast, I led her and Larz to the garage. My Corvette sat sorrowfully still and quiet. Dillon had driven it every now and again to keep the motor in top condition, but I doubt he really pressed the pedal and let her purr like I knew she could. Dillon drove a fully restored 1969 Chevrolet that packed one hell of a V8 under the hood. I knew he wasn’t afraid of a little speed. What did bother him was the exuberant price tag attached to the hood. I moved across the garage and opened the back passenger door of the much more conventional SUV. Emily slid in and I closed the door behind her. Once settled in the driver’s seat, I noticed Larz’s wistful stare at the Corvette.

  “You ever driven one before?”

  “When exactly would an ex-navy SEAL be seen in something like that?” He chuckled.

  “Next week. Dillon will give you the keys. She needs to be run often to keep the oil and fuel from going bad.”

  Larz grinned. “You trusting me with your pride and joy?”

  “I’m trusting you with her,” I nodded towards Emily, “and she’s more important,” I murmured. Larz’s face became serious. “Just make sure Dillon is with her when you take it for a spin. Don’t leave her alone, not even for a minute.”

  “I should be offended by that, but I know you’re a little worried right now which has clearly affected your brain. I will protect her as if she’s my own.”

  I didn’t like that Larz had referred to Emily as his, not one little bit. I almost growled out loud like an angered beast. I gripped the steering wheel tightly as we moved through the tall gates that separated my property from the street beyond. I glanced in the rearview mirror. I had no doubt Emily would have heard our conversation, but her eyes were focused on the passing scenery, her face carefully blank.

  CHAPTER 11

  EMILY

  I rubbed my fingers with frantic and nervous anticipation, my posture was uncomfortably tense, and my heart was thumping so fast and so loud it echoed in my ears. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scream or cry. Shakhta kept glancing at me through the rearview mirror and I avoided his gaze. If we locked eyes, I knew I would lose any resemblance of composure, and I was still feeling a little unsure of the kiss we had shared last night. Shakhta still seemed angry and I wondered if it was because of the kiss. He had spoken to Larz as if he were going somewhere. He had said we would take this slow, that I could look over my old home and then decide where I wanted to stay. I already knew I wasn’t going to stay with B. I wanted to stay with Shakhta.

  The passing homes and suburbs became so familiar it almost hurt to look. It was a reminder of what my life used to be. Back when my soul felt lighter and I could smile. I closed my eyes; I didn’t want to be reminded of those times. I wanted my mind to be blank—no thoughts, no wants, no pain. I was so consumed in the need to escape myself, I didn’t realize the car had stopped moving. As the door was opened for me, I could feel a gentle warm breeze.

  “Come on, Malen’kaya. Rebecca needs to see you. She needs to see that you’re alright.”

  My eyes opened. “I’m not sure I will ever be alright, Shakhta.”

  His eyes gentled and the anger that he had been wearing was gone. “Just having you here will be enough.”

  I glanced up and took in the house. I didn’t recognize it. It was bigger, much bigger. It had a second story and a long sweeping porch.

  “Renovations, remember?” Shakhta whispered.

  I nodded. When the front door burst open and B raced out I froze.

  “Come on,” Shakhta softly encouraged me. He was talking to me as if I was a child, and I guess I deserved it. I was acting a little like one.

  “I don’t want her to touch me,” I breathed, slightly panicked.

  “She knows, Malen’kaya. I already told her you are not comfortable with being touched.”

  I allowed Shakhta to pull me from the car. As I followed woodenly, I watched my sister. She looked just as beautiful as ever. Her hair was styled artfully into an elegant do. She was wearing a pair of black capris with a red and white checker top tied at the waist, exposing a sliver of pale skin beneath. She was perfect, like a star that sat in the night sky and outshone all others. There was no way I would taint such beauty with the sins of my past. A tall muscular figure appeared behind her—Charlie. He looked solemn and wary as he stood at my sister’s back. Shakhta led me up the stairs, and it was only then I noticed Larz standing on my other side, an overnight bag in his hand. Was he going somewhere?

  “Em,” B whispered, tears falling freely down her pale cheeks.

  “Hi.” I nodded, not sure of what more I could say. It seemed like such a pathetic attempt at casual conversation that I immediately clamped my lips shut. My sister smiled though and reached for Charlie’s hand in what I assumed was a silent plea for strength or comfort. Comfort I could not offer her.

  “Maybe we should take this inside,” suggested Shakhta.

  Charlie stood aside and B led us into the house. Everything was different, which was good. I didn’t need the constant reminder of how my life was. The once tiny living room that you walked into from the front door was now huge. It led into a large and modern kitchen, and even bigger dining room. The same old floral fabric couch that belonged to Grandma sat in front of the fireplace looked to be in pristine condition.

  “Are you alright?” B asked.

  I looked to her concern gaze and noticed she was staring at my bandaged feet.

  “She’s fine, just some cuts,” Shakhta answered for me.

  “Coffee’s on, who’d like some?” asked Charlie, moving to the kitchen.

  “None for me, thank you,” responded Shakhta.

  “I’ll take a cup. Black,” said Larz.

  All eyes settled on me. Did I want coffee? I hadn’t had coffee in years, it made me jittery and Master Jonas didn’t like me drinking it. I looked to Shakhta for help. He simply shrugged, offering nothing but a silent challenge to handle this on my own.

  “Coffee makes Em hyper. She prefers juice. There is some in the fridge, could you get her a glass please, Charlie?”

  I looked to B, surprised she remembered. She gave me another easy smile and I wished I could give her one back. I couldn’t though, so instead I nervously avoided her gaze. Larz disappeared, likely checking out the house and surrounding property. Shakhta chatted easily with Charlie, and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

  “You want to see your room?”

  My eyes snapped to my sister’s. My room? As in my old room? Or was Shakhta going to leave me here? He had said I could look around and decide for myself. I looked to Shakhta, who had turned his head slightly in my direction and gave me a subtle nod. I wasn’t sure if it was simply encouragem
ent or granting me permission to go with B. I allowed myself to think of it as permission, a command if you will. I was familiar with commands; commands were easier to understand and obey. Obeying allowed me to follow my sister, leaving my master behind for the moment. At the end of a short hallway, B pushed open a door. I hesitated before entering. This was the room we shared before Grandma died. It was bigger now, and I realized that the house itself had been made wider.

  “We took down that wall and built back a little. The house was the size of a matchbox, nowhere near big enough for three of us. We went out and up.” B shook her head and smiled. “Kinda overkill. It’s too big now, but Charlie works for Carter Constructions. It’s owned by his best friend, Jax, so it wasn’t all that expensive. I guess we’ll eventually need the room for when we have kids. Charlie has got some harebrained idea that we will have a brood and fill every inch of space we now have.”

  I pulled my gaze away from the room and watched my sister carefully. She looked happy, even wistful as she talked about having children with Charlie. Between the two of us, I never had any doubt that B would be the one with the big family. I liked kids well enough, but the thought of having my own had always frightened me. My own parents had died when I was a child, leaving two little girls alone and defenseless in the world. The thought that could happen to my own children had scared me enough to vow I would never have kids. Then along came Master Jonas. He had cemented that vow and made it so. I would never have children, willingly or otherwise. He took that opportunity away when he allowed men to rape and defile me, leading to internal damage, which stole any chance of bearing children. Before I could allow the thought to drag me away, I clenched my fists and turned back to the room before me, concentrating on the fluffy white quilt with matching white pillows on a large comfortable looking bed. A knitted red blanket was carefully folded, sitting on one corner. Grandma had knitted one for the both of us after Mom and Dad died. She said that even though they weren’t here to keep us warm during the cold days and nights, we would always be warm. It had been far too long since I had felt warmth; I was fairly sure ice ran through my veins now.