“She’s been one tough cookie,” Devin said, grinning.
“Yeah, but you have no idea how much different she’s been since she’s been seeing you,”
He told her.
“That different?” she asked, unable to believe what he was saying.
“Oh yeah,” Jams said, “trust me on that.”
“She was never like that before,” Sebastian put in, “When we were kids, she was always so much fun. Even with the way dad was, she just shrugged it off.”
“She learned to block things out early on,” Jams told him.
Sebastian looked surprised by what Jams said, but then nodded, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He looked at Devin then, “I guess she’s lucky to have you,” he said, smiling, then looked over at Jams, “and you.”
Jams shook his head, “If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here,” he said, “so it’s me that owes her.”
“How’d she do it?” Sebastian asked, “How’d she take them out?”
Jams looked back at Sebastian, grimacing, “It was pretty bloody,” he told him, “trust me, you don’t want details. Suffice it to say that she was brutal, and she definitely made them sorry they ever messed with her.”
Later that night, Devin walked into the bedroom, seeing that Skyler was still asleep. She was happy to see that, she knew Skyler hadn’t been sleeping well lately. Walking over to the bed, she looked at Skyler’s bandaged hand, it looked okay, no blood was visible, which had been what the doctor had told her to watch for.
Devin went in and took a shower, then walked back in the bedroom. She saw that Skyler’s eyes were open.
“I’m sorry,” Devin said, “did I wake you?”
Skyler shook her head, “No.” she said simply.
Skyler held her left hand out to Devin, who took it, moving to lie down next to Skyler.
“How do you feel?” Devin asked, noting that Skyler still looked tired.
“Like I’m swimming underwater in a rain coat,” Skyler said, “I hate pain meds.”
“I know, babe,” Devin said, “but you need the rest and being out of pain for a little while is probably not a bad thing.”
Skyler nodded, her look searching as she did.
“Look,” Skyler began, her voice soft, “I’m really sorry about today.”
“It’s okay, Skyler,” Devin said, her voice quiet too.
“No,” Skyler said, shaking her head, “you were scared, and I scared you, and that’s not okay.”
“I wasn’t afraid of you, Sky, I was afraid for you,” Devin said, her eyes searching Skyler’s.
“What were you afraid of?” Skyler asked.
“I was afraid you weren’t going to let any of us help you,” Devin told her.
Skyler closed her eyes, her look pained, “I’m sorry about that too.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Sky,” Devin said, putting her hand to Skyler’s cheek, “For what you’ve been through, Sky, anyone else would have lost it a long time ago. What’s important here is that you let us help you now.”
Skyler looked unhappy with that, “Dev…” she began, shaking her head as her voice trailed off, “this is so much, and why should you have to deal with it?”
“Because I love you, Skyler,” Devin said, “because I want to help you through this, I want to give you anything you need to help you.”
“Why?” Skyler asked her look disbelieving.
“Let me ask you something,” Devin said, “When I was trapped in my car, and I called you, why did you come?”
Skyler looked back at Devin as if she’d just lost her mind, “I had to,” Skyler said, when it was obvious Devin actually wanted an answer.
“But why?” Devin asked.
“Because,” Skyler began, but stopped, as she shook her head again.
“Because you love me,” Devin said, tears in her eyes now. “And I have to come for you Skyler,” she said, her tone intense, “I have to find you, and I have to save you, because I love you.”
“Save me, huh?” Skyler asked her look tender.
Devin nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks now. Skyler reached up to brush Devin’s tears away. Leaning down, Skyler kissed Devin’s lips softly, wanting more than anything to erase the sad look in Devin’s eyes and knowing there was only one way. She was going to have to do the work.
“So,” Skyler said, “how do we do that?”
Devin smiled, “I think we need to find someone for you to talk to,” she said, her tone cautious, considering the reactions Skyler had to that kind of statement previously.
Skyler detected the wariness in Devin’s voice and grimaced at it, “I guess I haven’t been exactly open to that idea before, have I?”
“Not exactly,” Devin said.
Skyler nodded, expelling her breath slowly, “Okay.” She said so simply that Devin was shocked.
“Oh… okay.” Devin said, having been prepared to explain to Skyler at length why talking to someone would be good for her, and so on. Not having to do that threw her off a bit.
Skyler chuckled at her flustered look.
“Expected a bigger fight on that, huh?”
“Kinda,” Devin said, her tone joking.
Skyler pinned her with a look, “I want to do whatever it takes to deal with this,” she said, “I know it’s not going to be quick or easy.”
“Good.” Devin said, nodding.
Devin could see that Skyler was getting heavy lidded again, so she lay with her head in the hollow of Skyler’s shoulder, her hand stroking Skyler’s waist until she heard Skyler’s breathing become even.
By the time Skyler got up the next morning, Devin had looked up a number of therapists in the area and was ready to tell Skyler about them.
Skyler walked into the kitchen, bleary eyed. Devin was sitting at the kitchen table, she got up, kissing Skyler on the lips and guiding her to a chair. She then got her coffee handing it to her.
“Do you want anything for breakfast?” Devin asked, knowing that Skyler was likely to be hungry since she hadn’t eaten the night before.
Skyler shook her head, “Too tired, can’t think.”
Devin grinned, turning back to the kitchen and made Skyler some toast, figuring that wasn’t too difficult to deal with. Skyler raised an eyebrow at the plate when Devin put it in front of her, but picked up a corner of toast anyway, eating it quietly.
“So,” Devin said, moving to sit down next to Skyler, “I’ve taken the liberty of looking up some local therapists…” she let her voice trail off as she looked for Skyler’s reactions.
Skyler merely nodded, continuing to eat the toast. She reminded Devin of a small child, focusing on one thing at a time. It made her smile fondly.
“What?” Skyler asked, catching the smile.
“You’re just very cute, right now,” Devin said, grinning.
“Cute?” Skyler repeated her look doubtful.
“Cute,” Devin said again, “get over it.” The last was said with a wink.
Skyler grinned. “So therapists,” she said, the word sounding really foreign to her.
“Yes,” Devin said, grabbing her iPad and pulling it over to her, “I found a Doctor Sandra Dobson, she has a lot of experience with PTSD, and she’s formerly military, Army in fact.”
“PTSD?” Skyler repeated her look skeptical.
“I think clinically what you have would be called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, babe,” Devin said, knowing that it was the stigma of the term that was bothering Skyler.
Skyler gave a grimace of distaste, but nodded all the same.
“There are others,” Devin said, scrolling through the list of names and qualifications, “but I think that this Doctor Dobson seems like she’d be the most relatable.”
Skyler nodded, blowing her breath out in a sigh.
“She has an opening today…” Devin said, her tone hopeful.
Skyler gave her a pointed look, that said ‘Really?’, but she simply said, “Fine.”
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Three hours later Devin and Skyler were sitting in the outer office of Doctor Sandra Dobson. Devin had been surprised when Skyler had asked her to come with her. She was more surprised when the doctor opened the door to invite Skyler in, Skyler held Devin’s hand, pulling her gently up with her.
“You want me to come in?” Devin asked Skyler.
Skyler looked back at her for a long moment, “This is where you’ll find me,” she said, a wistful smile on her lips.
Devin nodded, and followed Skyler into the doctor’s office.
The office was light and airy, furnished with comfortable chairs.
Skyler raised an eyebrow, “No couch?” she asked the doctor.
“I’m not that kind of doctor,” the doctor replied with a wink, then she extended her hand to Skyler, “I’m Sandra, you can call me Sandy.”
Skyler took her hand, shaking it, “Skyler,” she said.
“Nice to meet you Skyler,” Sandy said, smiling, then she looked to Devin.
“I’m Devin,” Devin said, nodding.
“Nice to meet you Devin.”
When the three of them were seated, Sandy looked between the two of them.
“So what brings you in?”
Skyler was looking around the room, seeing pictures on the wall, even spotting a picture of a team in front of an Army helicopter. She then focused her attention back on the doctor.
“Everyone’s worried about me,” Skyler told her.
Sandy looked back at her, “Do they have good reason to be?” she asked simply.
Skyler considered the question, “I think I’ve given them reason to, yeah.”
Sandy nodded, then pinned Skyler with a look, “Are you worried about yourself?”
Skyler looked back at that other woman, her lips twitched as she thought about her answer.
Finally, she nodded, “Sometimes,” she answered honestly.
“Hooah,” Sandy said quietly.
Next to Skyler, Devin smiled, thinking that this was definitely the right place.
An hour later, Skyler had answered questions, and they’d talked generally about the crash, but hadn’t gotten too deep at that point.
“We’ll get our boots muddy next time,” Sandy said, with a wink when they left.
Skyler and Devin had lunch at a nearby restaurant. After they’d ordered, Devin looked over at Skyler, her look assessing.
“What?” Skyler asked, sensing that Devin wanted to ask something, but was hesitant.
“Are you okay?” Devin asked, “I mean, was that okay?”
Skyler grinned, nodding, “It was fine,” she said, wanting to put Devin at ease.
“Do you think you’re going to be able to talk to her?” Devin asked.
Skyler considered the question, then nodded, “Yeah, she seems okay.”
Devin nodded, “Okay, good.”
A week later, Skyler had been to see Sandy three times. Devin hadn’t gone with her for those appointments, wanting to give Skyler the space to be open with Sandy. One night after a session, Devin woke to feel Skyler moving restlessly, her hand at Devin’s waist was grasping and loosening over and over.
“Sky,” Devin said softly, touching her shoulder.
Skyler’s eyes flew open, and she looked around her breathing heavily.
“It’s okay,” Devin said softly.
Skyler looked down at her, nodding slowly.
“Nightmare?” Devin asked.
“Yeah,” Skyler said, reaching up to rub her eyes, as if to rub the image out of her head.
“Bad one?” Devin asked then.
Skyler looked back at her for a long moment, wanting to dismiss the dream like she usually did. She hesitated then she blew her breath out.
“Not as bad as some,” she said, relaxing against the pillows again.
“The crash?” Devin asked.
“Yeah,” Skyler said, “but in this one Benny was okay, and was telling me it would be okay…” her voice trailed off sadly.
Devin, moved to sit up, looking down at Skyler.
“What was he like?” Devin asked, hoping that she wouldn’t upset Skyler by asking.
Skyler smiled, looking sad at the same time. “He was a kid,” she said, her tone reflecting her sadness, “But he was smart, and he knew how to make everyone laugh. Whenever I’d try to be the tough commander with him, he’d pull the face…”
“The face?” Devin asked.
“Yeah, the pouty little boy face, and I’d feel like shit, worked every friggin time too,” she said, her smile indicating that it didn’t really bother her that much that Benny had that kind of power. “He actually asked to be assigned to me,” Skyler continued, “He said that he knew he could learn stuff from me… I never figured out what stuff he wanted to learn, he just moved into the group and became a part of us.”
“He was smart, he knew who to align himself with,” Devin said, winking at Skyler.
Skyler gave a brief laugh, “He was worse than a puppy with his big blue eyes… He got away with a lot with me.”
Devin smiled fondly, she could see that Skyler had truly cared about the young man.
“Where was he from?” Devin asked.
“Texas,” Skyler said, “that was his other big thing, trying to get us all to come to Texas to his parent’s ranch.” Skyler’s eyes misted over at that point.
Devin moved to hug Skyler gently.
Pulling back, she looked down at Skyler again, “Maybe the dream was his way of communicating with you now,” Devin told her.
Skyler looked back at her for a long minute, surprised by the statement, but then she nodded, part of her wanting that to be the case.
They went back to sleep not too long after that. Devin was relieved that Skyler was finally sharing some of her pain. It felt better than to have Skyler claim she was fine, when Devin knew that wasn’t true.
The next morning, Skyler slept in, while Devin got up. Devin was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee when Sebastian came into the kitchen. Devin smiled up at him. Sebastian returned the smile, and reached for a cup for coffee. He sat down at the table with his coffee, and looked over at Devin.
“How’s she doing?” Sebastian asked, it was something he’d been wanting to check in on.
He’d started the academy a few days before, so he hadn’t been home before Skyler and Devin were asleep the last few nights.
Devin nodded, “She’s doing good,” she said honestly, “she’s still having nightmares, but they aren’t as bad or as often.”
Sebastian nodded, then shook his head, “I really can’t get over all that she’s gone through.”
“It’s a lot,” Devin said, “that’s for sure.”
“I’m really glad she has you,” Sebastian said then, his look earnest. “I’m not sure anyone else would have gotten her to do what you have,” he continued. “Jams told me how hard and closed off she was until she met you. He said, she’s changed a lot since she’s been dating you.”
Devin smiled softly, “She’s definitely gotten more open with me, but until that huge thing,” she said, gesturing to the back yard to indicate what had occurred back there, “I really couldn’t get her to talk about the crash.”
“Well, she’s doing it now,” Sebastian said, “and that’s a good thing.”
“It is,” Devin agreed.
“Has she talked anymore about going to that reunion thing?” Sebastian asked.
“No,” Devin said, shaking her head, “I’m not even sure when it is exactly.”
“Jams said its next month,” Sebastian said, “He said it’s in Texas this year.”
Devin smiled, “She might get to that ranch after all,” she murmured.
“Huh?” Sebastian queried.
“Nothing,” Devin said, smiling.
Later that morning, Skyler and Devin were walking along the beach, something they hadn’t previously done, but had started doing when Skyler went into therapy. It seemed to help Skyler process things better.
> “Sebastian asked me something this morning,” Devin said, watching as Skyler threw a rock into the oncoming waves.
“What?” Skyler asked, glancing back at Devin.
“He asked if you’d said anymore about going to that unit reunion,” Devin told her.
Skyler turned to look at her, “He did?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Devin said, “Jams told him it was next month.”
Skyler nodded.
“In Texas,” Devin added.
It was clear from Skyler’s look that she hadn’t known that part of it. She turned back to the ocean and stared out over it for a long time. Devin walked up behind her, sliding her hands around Skyler’s waist, and putting her head against Skyler’s back. She felt Skyler’s hands cover hers. They stood that way for a long time. Then Skyler turned around to look at her.
“I guess I’m going to the ranch,” she said, with a grin.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Devin replied, smiling.
CHAPTER 9
“Voodoo, you made it…” said Acorn, his booming voice announcing to everyone that Skyler was there.
Almost as one the group turned to look at the small group that had just entered.
Skyler was dressed in all black; the look she wore reflected the somber attire. The rest of the group was dressed more casually. Devin looked at the group, she could see varying degrees of pain or sadness, which was quickly replaced with smiles and call outs to Devin and Jams.
Skyler headed straight for the bar, located at the back of the room they were in. She ordered a double shot of tequila, knocking it back immediately. Devin stood by, looking around, but keeping her eye on Skyler.
Jams, Devin and Sebastian had talked before the trip, agreeing that if they thought things were getting too tough for Skyler that they’d get her out of the place. Devin had actually spoken to Sandy about the trip, asking if she felt Skyler could handle the situation. Sandy had said that she thought it might be good for Skyler to finally face those demons but that they shouldn’t let things overwhelm her. Devin intended to make sure that didn’t happen.
After a few minutes, the foursome made their way to a table. Devin ordered food for them, wanting to make sure Skyler ate something, since she was now drinking a beer.
When Angels Fall Page 18