Never Let You Go

by Erin Healy

  She left the car and followed the walkway to the visitor’s entrance.

  God, please spare my little girl.

  Lexi opened the heavy door and wondered if that debtor in Gina’s story had the guts to beg for mercy—again—and if he did, whether the king let him go or the man died in prison by slow torture.

  She was about to find out.

  At the security line, Lexi emptied her pockets of her keys, a roll of lip balm, and her mother’s phone. She set them in a plastic bucket and reached for a pen on the adjacent counter to sign in.

  “I need to see Norman Von Ruden,” she said.

  Nothing had gone as planned today. Not. One. Thing. Warden burst out of the mall in a fury of heat, shoving the glass doors open with such force that they snapped off their hinges and shattered. People standing outside the entrance screamed and dodged sharp shards and gave him space.

  This was no time to be self-controlled. Warden muttered curses under his breath as he stormed out into the parking lot. Long strings of foul incantations and black vows of what he planned to do to Lexi Grüggen.

  A teenager holding a skateboard in one hand and a cigarette in the other watched Warden make his exit. There was admiration in the boy’s eyes as he exhaled smoke. Warden snarled at him. The cigarette ignited. The kid’s admiration turned to fear. He swore and dropped the flaming cigarette, threw down the skateboard and took off.

  Warden considered killing the boy, just to make himself feel better, then decided it would be a waste of time. He’d save his energy for the woman who most deserved it.

  Yes, there was still hope. His plan might yet succeed.

  Warden paused in a parking space and looked back at the Bedrock Mall. He allowed himself a moment—just a few seconds of indulgence—to close his eyes and envision a more fitting end than the one he’d left inside. The possibilities quickly took shape in his mind’s eye. It would involve a small measure of theatrics, and though he preferred to avoid such gestures, there was a time for everything under heaven, after all.

  Perhaps he shouldn’t have left the brat behind. Warden had not watched Molly fall. He had turned away from the rail, furious to be forced into killing. That had never been his pleasure. What were people worth, dead in the ground? The only humans he had time for were the ones who were dead on their feet.

  The child had plummeted without uttering a sound. The only screams he heard came from bystanders who saw her go over.

  Warden wondered if he should he go back inside, devise a way to take the stupid rag-doll child with him.

  He weighed his options, then decided.

  Lexi had no idea what was coming to her.

  { chapter 37 }

  It didn’t seem possible that only twenty-four hours had passed since Lexi last sank into this same flimsy wooden chair at the foot of Norm’s inclined hospital bed. The joints in the seat creaked and shifted under her weight.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you until Friday,” he said when their eyes met.

  “I won’t be testifying at your hearing,” Lexi replied. “For you or against you.”

  Norm nodded. “I know.” He sighed and reclined his head against the pillow, gazing at the ceiling.

  She had been expecting the snarling, sinister Norm. “That’s all? No biting comeback? No vow to squash me or hurt my little girl?”

  He didn’t say anything.

  A crush of sorrow weighed down Lexi’s shoulders. “Ward took Molly,” she said.

  “Can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Do you know where they are?”

  Norm turned his head in a tiny side-to-side motion on his pillow.

  “Ward might have said something to you that—”

  “Ward talks too much for anyone’s good.”

  “You’re the only one I know of who might have any idea what he had planned.”

  A recessed light in the ceiling of Norm’s room flickered. Lexi’s memory flashed back to the parking-lot light that blinked out over her Volvo a week ago.

  “Ward’s mind is set only on one thing,” Norm said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Using other people to do his dirty work.”

  Lexi wasn’t sure what he meant.

  “He took Molly without anyone’s help,” she said.

  “If that’s what you want to think.”

  She stood and took one step away from the chair. “Well, if you don’t have any idea where he might have gone with—”

  “I was remembering the first time I met Ward.”

  “I don’t have time right now, Norm.”

  “You might want to make time.” There was no threat in his words, only regret. Lexi remained standing but didn’t move to go.

  “It was at our house,” she said. “You talked with me about Molly.”

  “That wasn’t the first time.”

  “That you met Ward? I thought—”

  “Yeah, well people always say that perception is reality, but it’s not. It’s just perception.”

  The light flickered again.

  Norm said, “Grant set up the meeting, but Ward sought me out before that happened. Found me at work.”

  “What for?”

  “He said antidepressants would be no problem for him, but he could hook me up with a spirit-lifter that worked better than any drug.” Norm turned his face toward Lexi. “Said her name was Lexi Solomon.”

  Lexi’s face grew hot. She didn’t know what to say and felt confused over this story and the remark Ward had made to her days earlier. You should have chosen me.

  Norm said, “He was right about that much at least.”

  “What does this have to do with Molly?”

  “Ward found me again about a week ago, at the pen. Right before the accident. Told me he was getting ready to work over Grant, and promised I could have my chance to get back at him for the blanks he sold me.”

  “Because I’d testify for you.”

  “I’m not sure why I believed him. It’s not like my release is dependent on one person’s word.”

  A soft thunking sound coming from the opposite side of the door caused Lexi to turn and look.

  Norm said, “I guess we’re apt to believe anything that promises to work in our favor. I didn’t think about that until after you left yesterday. Everything was so clear. Did you know Ward promised me a chance to kill Grant when I got out?”

  “What was clear? That you wanted Grant to be punished for what he did to you?”

  “No. That everything Ward promised me had nothing to do with me.” His eyebrows drew together, and Lexi thought he looked sad. “Ward was never interested in me. It was all about you and Grant, for reasons I’ll never know.”

  Norman’s breath shook as he inhaled. “I destroyed my entire life for a guy who bought me with empty promises, and for a couple I don’t even care about.”

  Lexi felt her heart thawing toward this man. She felt pity.

  “I’m sorry, Norm.”

  He grunted.

  “Is that what you wanted—to kill Grant?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know anymore. Mostly, I think I want someone to tell me that it wasn’t my fault your sister died.”

  “It was my fault.”

  “And Grant’s.”

  “Yes. It appears we’re all mixed up in the blame together.”

  “What a handsome little love triangle we make.” Bitterness rolled off his tongue.

  The gentle banging on the door rose to a pounding. Lexi spoke above the noise, concerned that the meeting might end before she needed it to. “You suggested this had something to do with Molly.”

  “That’s right. I’m thinking he won’t kill her.”

  “What?”

  “Ward doesn’t kill, see? If he did, we’d all be dead now. He prefers suffering.” He paused. “He kills our spirits.”

  Rather than feeling relieved, Lexi felt her mind being overtaken by terror. Ward might kill Molly if he wanted Lexi to suffer.

 
“That’s quite a figure of speech.”

  Norm gripped the bedrail and pulled himself up into a sitting position. His expression was one of pain. “I’m being as literal as I know how.”

  The pounding on the door stopped.

  Lexi took a step backward. “I need to get to Molly,” she said.

  “I hope you succeed.”

  Lexi turned to the exit and knocked to be let out. Her arms were shaking, and she didn’t know where she’d go next.

  Oh God, oh God! Please, don’t let him kill Molly—or her gentle heart.

  This room was filled with the oppression of a man whose spirit had indeed died. She felt the urgency to leave it and gratitude that she wasn’t imprisoned here too. She paused and felt her heart quicken.

  “I was serious about what I said.” She looked at Norm over her shoulder. “It wasn’t only your fault that my sister died,” she said.

  Irritation crossed Norm’s features. “That’s worth writing in a letter to my parole board.”

  “For my part in . . . in everything that shouldn’t have happened, I’m sorry.”

  He sighed. “Easy words.”

  “And for your part in it, I forgive you.”

  “I don’t need your forgiveness.”

  “I need to give it.”

  Norm’s laugh broke her heart. “Whatever makes you feel better.”

  “Maybe you could accept it anyway. As something that is genuinely about you for once.” She paused. “And for you.”

  He lowered himself back to the pillows.

  “I don’t deserve that anymore.”

  “No one does. But I’m going to let you go now.”

  Norm turned his head away.

  The door opened.

  It was the last thing in the crazy, nonsensical world that she expected, but when it happened, understanding rang clear and sharp through her brain: the light above Norm’s bed blinked out, and Lexi found herself suddenly, unnaturally blind. Her whole body flinched, and she raised her hands.

  Ward had come for her.

  Strong fingers closed around her throat and pushed, and she was stumbling backward into Norm’s cell. She felt hot breath on her face, and the smell of cigarette smoke and the stench of rotten eggs. Her shoulder blades hit the wall first and her head snapped back to meet the immovable cinder block. Thunder bounced off the backs of her eyeballs.

  She crumpled and her knees hit the floor.

  Ward kept hold of her throat and tossed her sideways. She reached out for balance. Her cheek smacked the adjoining wall and her body slumped like a wilting flower.

  “Norman,” she wheezed.

  “He can’t hear you.” Warden’s thumbs pressed down into the gentle curve of her neck at the top of her breastbone. “It was a stupid idea for you to come here. Norm hasn’t been himself lately. He might snap and injure you.”

  Lexi groaned. “Where’s Molly?”

  “Here.”

  “Molly!”

  One of Ward’s hands released her while the other kept her collared like a dog. Lexi heard a shuffling and heavy breathing, and then the warm, limp body of a child was thrust against her on the floor.

  Lexi cried out. Struggling for air, she grasped for her daughter and pulled Molly tight against her chest. The weight of the ankle brace pulled awkwardly against Molly’s length. Lexi raised her palm and spread her fingers across the back of Molly’s head. She was dead weight, and Lexi thought she must be unconscious.

  Ward released Lexi’s throat and she drew in thick and humid air. He gripped her hair on both sides of her face and pulled her off the wall. Unwilling to relax her hold on Molly, Lexi let him do this. The child seemed so weak in her arms.

  “She’s dying,” he said.

  Lexi moaned and clutched Molly. She ran her hands up and down the child’s curving spine, feeling for breath, for a pumping heart. She felt nothing.

  “She’s dying and there’s nothing you can do. I asked so little of you, Sexy Lexi. In fact, what I wanted you to do would have been so much easier than what you have chosen. Frankly, I don’t see the point.”

  Lexi shook her head vigorously, denying that her worst nightmares had found their way into reality. Sobs wracked her chest and bounced the little girl.

  “You should have waited to come here until tomorrow,” Ward said. “You should have kept the goal in sight.”

  “What g-goal? Hate? You . . . you want to kill us all.”

  “I’m not a murderer, Lexi. Not like the three of you are.”

  “Right, right.” She drew a shaky breath. “Y-you kill love.”

  “Tell me. Is love worth the life of your daughter? Was it an even exchange?”

  Lexi’s arms tightened around her little girl and she found words between her cries. “I choose . . . love. I ch-choose it . . . because . . . because anything else . . . is a living hell.”

  “You don’t know the half of it.”

  The dead light flashed twice, illuminating the room like a weak strobe. Ward’s eyes were red. Molly’s skin was ghostly white. Then blackness again.

  “You’ll regret this choice for the rest of your life. That brat’s going to die in your arms and you’ll die a thousand deaths and wished you’d never loved at all.”

  “I won’t . . . I won’t! You’ve never told . . . me the truth!”

  The light flickered again, causing Lexi to squint and drop back into the corner of the wall. The roots of her hair screamed against Ward’s grip. His cracked lips were parted.

  Angelo stood behind him.

  Lexi screamed.

  The big man’s arms crossed his broad chest, and his wild blond hair was windblown around his crown like an old straw hat. His eyes were on the back of Molly’s head.

  The light failed again.

  At first she thought he was an illusion, but when the shock of seeing him passed, she felt no fear, only calm. Angelo was there, even though she couldn’t see him.

  Under the desperate squeeze of Lexi’s hands, Molly’s lungs filled with air and then exhaled. Once.

  Lexi understood then that Angelo had come to Crag’s Nest for Molly, and not for anyone else. Not directly anyway. Everything he had said to Lexi and done for Lexi had been for her child. The rescuing, the watching over, the protecting, was all for Molly. Like an angel. Yes, very much like an angel sent from God.

  Lexi took hold of the calm that Angelo had brought to her and willed it into new confidence.

  As if he sensed a shift in Lexi’s state of mind, and therefore, in the power struggle, Ward released her hair. Lexi found strength in his retreat.

  “You’re a liar, Warden Pavo.”

  The ceiling light found its energy again and returned to life, now steady.

  Angelo stood tall behind him, and Lexi wondered if Ward knew he was there. How could he not?

  The sneer of Ward’s lips looked painful, stretched taut and exposing white teeth. “I’m the most powerful liar you’ve ever met.”

  An image of Angelo bent at the waist and spent, having defeated her attacker on the snowy slope of the Residence gardens, brought a response to her mind.

  “You have no power here.”

  Ward opened his mouth wide, too shocked for words.

  Lexi’s hands grew hot against Molly’s back. She did not understand what she was feeling. The girl was raging with fever, skyrocketing fever. Lexi didn’t dare let her go.

  Warden began to moan. A vapor began to rise off Molly’s hair.

  No, no, no. Lexi pressed her back against the wall and used the leverage to rise. She silently pleaded with Angelo for help. He only nodded at her.

  Ward’s moan turned into a scream. “You’ll die! I’m going to kill you!”

  “Then do it now!” Lexi shouted. “If you can do it at all, do it now!”

  Ward doubled over and clapped his hands over his ears. He began an endless stream of swearing. Smoke poured out of his mouth along with vile, obscene words. Lexi turned Molly’s body into the corner, shielding t
he girl.

  “You have no more power here,” Lexi repeated.

  The child began to slide out of Lexi’s embrace. Lexi squeezed tighter but couldn’t hold on. Her arms and chest burned like they’d been doused in scalding water. She dropped to her knees as Molly went down, using her thighs to catch the girl.

  The stench of something burning filled every passageway of Lexi’s nose, throat, and lungs. A coughing fit overtook her.

  Ward groaned and fell, tearing at his hair.

  She rasped, “You leave us alone. You’re not my jailer anymore.”

  Ward’s moan grew to a shriek that pierced her ears. Lexi’s breathing quickened as she saw smoke begin to rise from his hair, his hands, his shoes.

  Lexi craned her neck toward Angelo, having no voice to beg for his help. Molly slipped off of Lexi’s lap, escaped her mother’s embrace as if she were water.

  Ward exploded. That was the only way Lexi could think of it. His clothing rippled and flapped under the smoke. His hair was flaming. Then his screams ended as abruptly as if she’d hit a mute button, and his cowering shape became a dying star, a bright ring of particles expanding from the center that had been him. Sharp pieces of Warden struck Lexi as they passed her, then hit the wall behind her and rained down onto the floor.

  And then Molly disappeared—shriveled up, evaporated—in a steamy cloud of sulfur, and Lexi’s blistering arms clutched nothing but a girl’s jacket.

  { chapter 38 }

  Sheriff Dawson’s secretary was placing paper after paper in front of Grant, showing him where to sign, when the call came in.

  There in the small Crag’s Nest office, all the work spaces shared an open floor and everything that was said could be heard by everyone present. When the dispatcher picked up, Grant was signing a statement saying he’d received all his personal effects in as-was condition. Richard, who’d arrived a short time after Alice’s call, was at his side.

  Medics were reporting to emergency calls from the Bedrock Mall. Someone had destroyed the glass doors at the entrance. There were injuries. And a child had jumped from the upper level above the food court.

  Alice and Grant looked at each other. His mind went to Tara. Alice placed her hand over her heart and glanced away.