Chasing Love & Rainbows

by TT Dorsett

  I stared at him with ice in my eyes and asked, “Is that a threat Marcus?”

  “It’s a promise,” he said.

  “Well just kill me then, cause I’m fucking someone else,” I answered trying to make him hurt like I was. There was no way I was fucking anyone else. Hell, he doesn’t need to know that. Before I could react, Marcus had thrown me on the floor and pulled my dress up over my waist. He ripped my underwear off as I tried to get away from him.

  “Marcus please, don’t do this,” I said fearfully through my tears. I was shocked he was doing this to me. I went into panic mode. I begin to fight but he was too strong. I could hear his belt being unbuckled.

  “Why Paris, I just want to know if you’re doing what you said you’re doing,” he said as he pinned my hands over my head and thrust into my pussy. I gasped really hard and he knew that I was lying. “Why you lie to me Paris? All you had to do was tell me the truth and I wouldn’t have to hurt you,” he said.

  Tears streamed down my face as he kept thrusting inside of me. All I could do was lay there and let him rape me. How did it ever get like this between us? Once he finished, I was sobbing and he cried along with me.

  “I’m so sorry boo, please just take me back. I’m going crazy without you Paris. Please,” he pleaded.

  He continued to beg me over and over again. All I could do was pull him to me while we both wept. I kept asking myself the same question - how did we ever get here in the first place and why did I stop taking my birth control last week? Damn.

  But the question I’m fighting with is - will I take him back after what just happened? Am I that in love with him that I could over look something like this? Call me crazy but how can you just stop loving someone after eleven long years? How can you throw everything away that you worked so hard for since you were teenagers?

  I loved Marcus and if that means we can get through this shit then I’m willing to work it out. Is my heart healed after what just happened and the betrayal? No. Will I ever get past this? Only time can tell.

  Chapter 10 ~ Porsche

  “Link this is a really nice house,” I said.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked over my shoulder at him and kissed him lightly on his lips. He asked, “You like it?”

  “Of course I do, but I think my house is a little bigger,” I said.

  He replied, “Oh really, your house is bigger than mine?”

  I turned from out of his arms. “Yeah, but only because my sister is dating Marcus Jones,” I said.

  “Yo’ sister dating Speed,” he said. I smiled to myself.

  “Yeah they’ve been dating since I was like eleven,” I said.

  “Damn, that long,” he said.

  “I know, huh? I’ll be glad when they get married. He’s like a brother to me,” I said. He then wrapped his arms around my waist again.

  He asked, “So is your sister as fine as you?”

  I leaned my head back against his shoulder. “Of course she is. Both my sisters are gorgeous,” I said.

  “You have another one,” he reminded me.

  “Well actually, I have two little sisters. One is seventeen and the other one is eight,” I said, taking out a recent picture that we all took together the other day and gave it to him.

  “Damn Black. The little one looks exactly like you,” he said in amazement.

  I kind of shifted my eyes the other way and said, “I know that’s what everyone says.”

  “But you were right,” he said, “all of you are gorgeous, but none of them are as gorgeous as you.” I smiled to myself and went to Link and wrap my arms around his neck.

  I hugged him tight while he squeezed my butt. “I’m feeling you Black. I want us to try to be together,” he said.

  I looked at him and asked, “You want that?”

  “Yeah I do. I can’t seem to get you out of my head. All I do is think about you,” he said.

  I thought about him constantly myself, but now all I think about is my past that came back to haunt my ass. All the things that I used to do I can’t do them anymore. I have a daughter to consider now. Funny how that word just roll of my tongue...daughter.

  “So you’re saying that you want a relationship with me Link?” I asked and studied him for a reaction.

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” he said. He was really serious about this relationship thing.

  “I don’t know about that Link. I’m not the relationship type of girl. I have never really had a boyfriend. I always had friends,” I said.

  He asked, “Why not make an exception for me? I know you want to.”

  I took a deep breath because deep down inside I did want to give this relationship a shot, but I was afraid of opening myself to him or any man at that. I only loved two men my whole life, and those were my father and Cameron. I always kept my heart on guard and now Link is asking me to take my shield down. Am I strong enough to do something like that? Did I want to find out how to love a man again?

  “Well I think we should take it one day at a time Link,” I said.

  He asked, “So are we dating?”

  I took time to think about his question and finally said, “Yes. We’re dating.”

  He smiled and pulled me into him with a deep kiss. “I want to know everything about you,” he said.

  “In due time you will, I decided that I’m not going to strip anymore,” I said.

  He lifted up one eyebrow and said, “Really.”

  “Why do you sound so surprised,” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said. I looked at him with curiosity.

  “Well I’m not. I think it’s time for me to get things right with my life. All I have been doing for the past two years is running away from things. It’s time I faced reality,” I said.

  He asked, “And what reality is that?” He began to rub my back with tenderness.

  “Facing life and growing the fuck up. I only have one more year left of Grad school and I plan to focus only on that. I have some money saved that I can live off for a year,” I said.

  “Sounds like a good plan to me. Besides, I didn’t want my woman showing off her body to anybody else anymore,” he said.

  “Oh is that so,” I said as I hit him on the arm.

  “Yeah, can a man have some dignity here? Only Link is allowed to see you and not these other niggas,” he said.

  I wrapped my arms around Link’s neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Gosh, his tongue felt so good and so real in my mouth. It was as if we’d been waiting for each other all our lives. Things just felt so right. I finally let go of his lips and looked at him.

  “You right baby,” I said, “Only you can look at this bad ass body.” He captured my lips again until we were breathing hard for air. “Next week we are giving my sister a party for her eighteenth birthday. Do you want to come and meet my family,” I asked.

  “Of course I want to come and meet them. It will be an honor. Plus I would like for you to meet my best friend. We went to college together and I would love for you two to get together and get to know each other,” he said.

  “That sounds fine with me,” I replied.

  “So first, we meet your family and then next week we can meet my boy. That sound good to you?” he asked.

  “Of course baby,” I said as looked into his eyes and studied him once again. All I can say is…whoa! This man was sent from heaven.

  “So since we got that established, why don’t we go into my bedroom and officially christen it,” he asked.

  “I thought you would never ask,” I said. Link picked me up and we headed towards the master bedroom. This was going to be a very good afternoon to remember.

  Chapter 11 ~ Patrice

  Tony and I got up early this morning and we were on our way to Las Vegas to get married. My sister thought that we just needed some time to spend together before the party tonight. But what they really didn’t know was that when I returned I was going to be Mrs. Antonio Jackson. I was scared
out of my mind because I really didn’t want to hurt my sisters, especially Paris.

  She has sacrificed so much for us but this is a decision I have to make by myself. Tony and I belong together and we have to give our child the best stable life as possible. I was doing this for my child and for Tony. I’m the one that has to make the sacrifice by moving with him after the baby is born. We were already looking for apartments and we pretty much have everything under control.

  We figured we would break the news first to my family then work on his. Once my sisters know that we’re married there’s really nothing they can do about it besides accept it. I’m really hoping that it will work out this way because if not, I’m going to be in some deep shit. I do not want to be in the doghouse with them at this stage. I need all the support I can get.

  I asked Tony, “You nervous?”

  “No Precious. I’m ready for this,” he said. I leaned my head on his shoulders and fell asleep waiting for the plane to arrive and change my life forever.

  “I now officially present to you Mr. And Mrs. Antonio Jackson,” said the preacher. Tony and I looked at each other and grinned. He pulled into his arms and we kissed with so much passion.

  I exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that we’re married Tony!”

  “Neither can I,” he said happily.

  “You think we made the right decision,” I asked.

  “Of course we did. You ready to get out of here?” he asked.

  I looked down at my wedding ring that Tony had placed on my left finger. It was a one-carat ring but it was beautiful in my eyes. “Yeah, let’s go,” I said. We grabbed hands and headed back to the airport. Once we landed I was scared out of my mind to face my sisters. This was going to be harder than I thought, but with Tony by my side everything was going to be all right or so I thought.

  We arrived at the house at exactly 7pm. People were already there and I could hear the DJ playing the music. When I stepped into the house my little sister ran to me. “Patrice, Patrice, Happy Birthday! I bought you a present,” Paige said.

  “Oh you did,” I asked as I bent down and kissed her cheeks. She was the sweetest little thing and I was so happy that we had Paige.

  “Hi Tony,” Paige said.

  Tony said to her, “What’s up shorty?”

  “Shorty,” repeated Paige, giving him a puzzled look.

  “I’m Paige, not Shorty,” she said.

  I laughed at her. “Sorry about that. What’s up Paige,” Tony asked, rephrasing his sentence.

  “Hi,” Paige said to Tony.

  She then grabbed my hand leading me towards the backyard, where I saw my sisters standing in a corner in heated discussion. I walked over closer to listen to the conversation.

  “What do you mean you’re taking Marcus back?” Porsche said in frustration.

  “Just like I said Porsche, we have to work through this and we can’t if he’s not here in the house,” said Paris.

  Porsche asked, “So after what he did to you, you’re just going to take him back?”

  “Yes,” said Paris. Porsche threw her hands up in the air.

  “Look I know that you love him Paris, but come on,” said Porsche.

  “Well, it’s my decision not yours. All I want is your support,” said Paris. As Porsche was about to answer, she looked towards me and smiled. I made my way over to her.

  “Hey baby,” said Porsche as she hugged me, “Happy Birthday!”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “So how does it feel turning eighteen,” said Porsche.

  I thought about it for a second and wanted to say if I could just turn back the hands of time my life would feel so much different and be so much different. Turning eighteen has gotten me a baby and a husband. Damn.

  “It feels great,” I said.

  Paris hugged me and said, “Happy Birthday Patrice.”

  “Thanks Paris, You guys did a great job out here,” I replied. Looking around at the decorations, I prayed hard that they wouldn’t notice the ring on my finger.

  “You deserve it,” Paris said. I could only give her a little smile.

  Throughout the evening everything went fine. After all the guests had left it was time for Tony and I to tell my sisters that we were married with a baby on the way. I wished that I could put this off some more but I knew I couldn’t. This was either a do or die situation.

  When we entered into the family room my sisters were seated with their perspective boyfriends. I was a bit surprised that Porsche had a male friend. Things were definitely changing. As I cleared my throat they all looked up at me.

  “I would like to thank my sisters for giving me such a wonderful party and I really appreciate it,” I began. I took Tony’s hand. “Tony and I have an announcement to make,” I said. My sisters were looking at me trying to figure what was going on. I really didn’t want to do this so I hesitated for a minute.

  “I just want to let you know that I really love you,” I said to my sisters as tears started to come into my eyes, “And…I know that what I’m about to say will probably hurt you.” The tears fell and I could see Paris get up but I held my hands up and told her to sit. “Um…Tony and I got married today,” I said.

  Porsche yelled, “You what! What the hell did you do that for Patrice?”

  “Because I’m pregnant,” I answered. The room became dead silent. My sisters both stared at me like I had another head on my body.

  Finally Paris spoke, “Gentlemen, can you excuse us for a minute please?” Link and Marcus left the room but Tony remained.

  “Ok, let me get this straight Patrice. You and Tony are married and you’re saying to us that you are also pregnant,” said Porsche.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Why Patrice?” asked Porsche, “You had so much going for you and you turn around and get pregnant? What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled.

  “I know, I know,” I said as I wiped tears from my eyes. “I know I made a mistake, but Tony and I are fixing it,” I said.

  Porsche yelled. “By getting married? You called that fixing it? I thought you had brains Patrice! You have book smarts but no damn common sense what so ever,” said Porsche.

  “Look we’re doing the best that we can,” I said.

  Finally Tony spoke, “After Patrice has the baby they both will be moving to Tallahassee with me.”

  Paris said, “Like hell she is!”

  “Patrice is going to get this marriage annulled and we are going to visit the abortion clinic and fix this little problem right away,” said Paris.

  “No,” I yelled, “I am not going to kill my baby!”

  Paris yelled back, “Yes you are!”

  “You cannot tell me what to do Paris! I’m eighteen and I’m legal now. I have a husband so the decision is up to us and we choose to keep our baby,” I said.

  She walked closer to me so we could be face to face. I admit I was kind of scared but hell, I was fighting for my baby’s life so I had to stand my ground. “Tony, leave the room,” Paris demanded.

  “I can’t leave my wife right now. She needs me,” he said.

  I looked over at him and said, “It’s okay baby, go ahead. I’ll be alright.” He was hesitant at first.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  Paris yelled, “Yeah, she sure!” She tried to calm down. “Look just let us have some time to talk alone,” Paris said.

  Tony looked at me once again to make sure I was okay, and left the room. Paris turned back around in my face and Porsche stood on the other side of me.

  Paris said, “So you think you’re grown, you think just because you’re eighteen you know what’s best for you?”

  I took a deep breath and held my head up high and answered, “Yes.”

  Paris laughed lightly to herself and turned around just a second before I was caught with a slap across my face. I didn’t see it coming and neither did Porsche. I heard Porsche gasp out loud and all I could do was let the tears fall down my face.
As long as I’ve known Paris I have never seen her angry or this upset with me.

  Paris began to demand, “As long as you are living in my house you will do as I say Patrice. I don’t give a damn about your marriage. I’m your guardian and I say you are getting an abortion. You will no longer see Tony and…” before she could finish I said, “You can’t do that. You can’t make me not see Tony. He is my husband and the father of my baby.”