Cam Jansen and the Joke House Mystery
Page 1
The Cam Jansen Series
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Stolen Diamonds
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the U.F.O.
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Dinosaur Bones
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Television Dog
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Gold Coins
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Babe Ruth Baseball
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Circus Clown
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Monster Movie
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Carnival Prize
Cam Jansen and the Mystery at the Monkey House
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of the Stolen Corn Popper
Cam Jansen and the Mystery of Flight 54
Cam Jansen and the Mystery at the Haunted House
Cam Jansen and the Chocolate Fudge Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Triceratops Pops Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Ghostly Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Scary Snake Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Catnapping Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Barking Treasure Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Birthday Mystery
Cam Jansen and the School Play Mystery
Cam Jansen and the First Day of School Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Tennis Trophy Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Snowy Day Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Valentine Baby Mystery—25th Anniversary Special
Cam Jansen and the Secret Service Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Summer Camp Mysteries—A Super Special
Cam Jansen and the Mystery Writer Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Green School Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Sports Day Mysteries—A Super Special
Cam Jansen and the Basketball Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Wedding Cake Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Graduation Day Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Millionaire Mystery
Cam Jansen and the Spaghetti Max Mystery
DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE YOUNG CAM JANSEN SERIES FOR YOUNGER READERS!
Cam Jansen
and the
Joke House
Mystery
David A. Adler
illustrated by
Joy Allen
VIKING
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) LLC
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New York, New York 10014
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penguin.com
A Penguin Random House Company
First published in the United States of America by Viking,
an imprint of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2014
Text copyright © 2014 by David A. Adler
Illustrations copyright © 2014 by Penguin Young Readers Group
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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Adler, David A.
Cam Jansen and the Joke House mystery / by David A. Adler; illustrated by Joy Allen.
pages cm
Summary: While Cam’s Aunt Molly is competing in a comedy contest, the expensive plate the winner will receive disappears and Cam and Eric set out to find it before the contest is over.
ISBN: 978-0-698-15240-3
[1. Mystery and detective stories. 2. Stealing—Fiction. 3. Jokes—Fiction. 4. Contests—Fiction.]
I. Allen, Joy, illustrator. II. Title.
PZ7.A2615Caag 2014 [Fic]—dc23 2013046783
Version_1
For my grandson Andrew
—D.A.A.
To Curt, my funny guy!
—J.A.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
A Cam Jansen Memory Game
Chapter One
“I’m in big trouble,” Cam Jansen’s aunt Molly said. “I remember the riddle questions, but I don’t remember the funny answers.”
Cam, her father, Aunt Molly, and Cam’s best friend Eric Shelton were at the Joke House. Aunt Molly was there to compete in a joke-telling contest. Cam, Eric, and Mr. Jansen had come along to cheer for her.
“I really want to win,” Aunt Molly said, “but I don’t even remember why the chicken crossed the road.”
“Don’t worry,” Mr. Jansen told her. “When you get onstage you’ll remember everything.”
“The winner gets the chance to tell jokes on television. If I win, I’ll be famous,” Aunt Molly said.
Cam’s father pointed to a small table at the edge of the stage. There was a green cloth on the table that reached the floor. On top of the table was a large silver plate.
Cam’s father told Molly, “You’ll also win that plate. It’s worth a lot of money.”
A tall man was standing by Cam’s table. “Hi, I’m Kevin,” he said. “I’ll be your server tonight.”
Kevin gave everyone a menu. “I’ll be back to take your orders soon.”
Kevin went to the next table.
Cam, Eric, and Mr. Jansen looked at their menus.
Aunt Molly tried to remember why the chicken crossed the road.
“I think the chicken was on its way to school. That’s why it crossed the road. Or maybe the chicken was going shopping. Whenever I go shopping, no matter where I am, I always have to cross the road. All the good stores are always across the street.”
“It’s not the story of the chicken’s whole life. It’s just a joke,” Eric told Aunt Molly. “The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.”
“Oh,” Aunt Molly said. “To get to the other side. I have to remember that.”
Cam closed her eyes. She said, “Click!”
“Here are some more chicken jokes,” Cam said, with her eyes still closed. “The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide. It crossed the amusement park to get to the other ride. And the orange stopped in the middle of the road because it ran out of juice.”
“Hey! Those are the jokes I’m going to tell. How do you know them?” Aunt Molly asked.
Cam opened her eyes and said, “I looked at your joke book. I have pictures in my head of every page of that book.”
Cam has a photographic memory. It’s as if she has a camera in her head and pictures of everything she’s seen. Cam blinks her eyes and says, “Click!” when she wants to look at one of the pictures. Cam says, “Click!” is the sound her mental camera makes.
“Do you know this one?” Eric asked. “What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in some dirt, and then crosses back again?”
“That’s easy,” Cam said, and laughed. “That chicken is a dirty double-crosser.”
Cam’s real name is Jennifer. When she was young, some people called her “Red,” because she has red hair. Then they found out about her amazing memory and started calling her “The Camera.” Soon “The Camera” became just Cam.
“What would you like?” Kevin asked. He was standing by the table again.
“I’ll have a large glass of iced tea,” Aunt Molly said.
�
�I’ll have a cup of hot tea,” Mr. Jansen told Kevin.
“I want a glass of orange juice and some cookies, please,” Cam said.
“Me, too,” Eric told Kevin. “Juice and cookies, please.”
A man with a long mustache curled at each end walked to the center of the stage. He stood by the microphone.
“Welcome to the Joke House. I’m Gary Gold,” the man said. “Tonight one comedian will win a chance for fame and fortune. The winner will be invited to perform on my show, The Gary Gold Comedy Hour. The winner will also get a silver plate with the engraved message ‘Winner, Comedy Night at the Joke House.’ Your laughter and applause will determine who wins. We’ll begin in just a few minutes.”
“Fame and fortune,” Aunt Molly said. “That’s what I want. I just have to remember my jokes.”
Molly took a tissue and pen from her purse. “Other side,” she wrote on the tissue, “other slide, other ride, ran out of juice,” and “dirty double-crosser.”
Kevin took two glasses of juice off his tray and gave them to Cam and Eric. He gave them each a large plate of cookies. He gave Mr. Jansen and Aunt Molly their teas. Then he asked, “Do you know why you don’t tell an egg chicken riddles?”
The lights dimmed. The show was about to begin.
“You don’t tell an egg chicken riddles because it might crack up,” Kevin said. “And do you know how to fit six elephants in a car? You have two sit in the front, three in the back, and one in the cup holder.”
Aunt Molly said, “But an elephant is too big to fit in a cup holder.”
“That’s the joke,” Cam explained.
“You can use that joke if you want,” Kevin told Molly. “I’m also a comedian. But Gary won’t let me enter the contest because I work here.”
“Thank you,” Molly said. “I will.”
“When elephants go on a car trip,” Molly wrote on her tissue, “the car has to have a cup holder.”
“Good evening,” Gary Gold said into the microphone. “It’s time to start the contest. It’s time to laugh!”
Chapter Two
“I can’t eat all these cookies,” Eric said to Mr. Jansen and Aunt Molly. “You should have some.”
Mr. Jansen took a cookie. Molly took two.
“Now, let’s meet the people who will make you laugh,” Gary Gold said into the microphone. “First, we have Uncle Sid.”
A man with long, curly brown hair and a yellow baseball cap stood. He held up a large cloth bag.
“What’s in the bag?” Cam asked.
“He’s a prop comedian,” her father answered.
“What’s that?”
“You’ll see.”
“Next meet Granny Janie.”
A woman wearing a white wig and a large pair of eyeglasses stood. She waved a cane.
Eric whispered, “That’s not her real hair. She’s not really old. She’s pretending.”
“Now meet Molly Jansen.”
Aunt Molly stood and waved. She had a cookie in each hand.
“She’s waving oatmeal raisin cookies!” someone shouted.
Aunt Molly looked at her hands. She saw the cookies and laughed. She took a big bite out of one of the cookies and sat down.
“She’s funny,” someone at the next table said.
Gary Gold called the names of three more comedians. They each stood. Then he called for Uncle Sid to come onto the stage.
People applauded.
Uncle Sid carried his big cloth bag onto the stage. He opened the bag and looked into it. Then he looked at all the people sitting in the Joke House.
“Do you want to know what’s in my bag?” Uncle Sid shouted.
He held his hand to his ear.
“What’s in the bag?” people shouted back.
“I’m glad you asked,” Uncle Sid said.
He took a strange cardboard clock from his bag. The twelve numbers were bunched together at the bottom, and the clock had no hands.
“This is a clock for people who don’t care what time it is.”
Mr. Jansen and a few others laughed.
Uncle Sid dropped the clock on the floor of the stage and took out a coffee cup. He showed everyone the large hole in the bottom of the cup.
“This is for people who don’t like coffee.”
Cam, Eric, Mr. Jansen, and a lot of other people laughed. Even Aunt Molly laughed.
Uncle Sid took a large comb from his bag. The teeth of the comb were missing.
“This comb is for bald people.”
The laughter got louder.
Eric whispered, “Why would a bald person need a comb?”
“That’s the joke,” Mr. Jansen told him.
Molly took the tissue from her pocket. She studied the funny answers to her riddles.
“I really want to win and get on TV,” she whispered to Cam’s father.
“What about the silver plate?” he asked. “Don’t you want to win that?”
Cam looked at the small table at the edge of the stage. The green cloth was still on the table. There was nothing on top of the green cloth.
“What plate?” Cam asked. “The silver plate is gone.”
Chapter Three
“Someone must have stolen it,” Eric said.
“How could anyone do that?” Mr. Jansen asked. “We’re all facing the stage and that table. How could someone take the plate without being seen?”
“I think Mr. Gold moved it,” Aunt Molly said. “He brought it into the kitchen. Maybe someone in there is polishing the plate so it will look shiny when he gives it to the winner.”
“I think Eric is right,” Cam said. “I think it was stolen and we have to find out what happened right now. The longer we wait, the easier it will be for the thief to get away.”
Cam got up.
“I’m going to ask Mr. Gold what happened to the plate.”
Eric got up, too. They walked along the side of the room, past several tables, until they were in front, right by the edge of the stage.
Gary Gold was standing at the back of the stage, just in front of the curtain. Cam waved to him. When Gary Gold didn’t respond Cam waved wildly with both hands.
Gary Gold looked at Cam. Then he looked away.
“He’s pretending not to see you,” Eric whispered.
Uncle Sid took a large book from his bag. He opened it. Its pages were blank.
“This book is for people who don’t like to read.”
Cam whispered, “I’ll wait until Uncle Sid is done. Then I’ll tell Mr. Gold about the plate.”
Uncle Sid took a large fake chicken from his bag. He pulled on it to show everyone that it was made of rubber. He dropped the chicken on the floor of the stage, and it bounced.
“Take a look at the eggs this chicken laid.”
Uncle Sid took two rubber balls from his bag and bounced them. He threw the first ball to Gary Gold, who caught it.
Gary Gold bowed, and lots of people cheered.
Sid threw the second ball high over Gary Gold’s head. The ball hit the curtain and fell to the floor. Gary Gold bent down to get the ball.
Rip!
People laughed and pointed at Gary Gold’s pants.
“His pants didn’t really tear,” Eric whispered to Cam. “It was Uncle Sid.”
Sid held a piece of cloth by the microphone. He tore it some more.
RIP!
The laughter got louder.
Uncle Sid dropped the cloth on the floor. He reached into his bag again. He lifted the bag and looked in.
“It’s empty,” he said. “I guess I’m done.”
People applauded.
Uncle Sid bowed and started to walk off the stage.
Gary Gold walked to the microphone. He looked at the props Uncle Sid had dropped on the floor.
“Wait,” he told Sid. “You can’t go until you’ve cleaned up your mess.”
Eric said, “That’s what my mother always tells me.”
Uncle Sid picked up all his props and put them
into his cloth bag. He bowed again and left the stage.
Gary Gold said, “Maybe Uncle Sid will win the chance to take his rubber chicken on television. Maybe he’ll take home this large silver plate.”
Gary Gold said that without turning to look. He pointed to the empty table on the side of the stage.
Uncle Sid put the cloth bag under his table and sat down.
Gary Gold said, “Or maybe our next comedian will win the prize. Please welcome a funny woman who is so old, she’s old enough to be her own mother. Please welcome Granny Janie.”
Granny Janie got up slowly. She had a small wool shawl draped over her shoulders. She shook and stumbled and leaned on her cane as she walked toward the stage.
“Wait,” Cam called out. “Something is missing.”
“Sit down, please,” Gary Gold told Cam.
“You pointed to the table with the silver plate. The plate is gone.”
“I should know where it is,” Gary Gold said. “I put it there myself.”
Gary Gold turned and looked at the table on the side of the stage.
“It’s gone!” Gary Gold said, and hurried to the small table. He lifted the green cloth and looked under it. He moved the curtain aside. Behind it was a bare stone wall.
“The silver plate is gone,” he said. “Someone stole it.”
Granny Janie stood by the microphone.
“There have been three big changes in me as I got older,” she said. “My hair turned white, and I keep forgetting things.”
“That’s just two,” someone called out. “What’s the third big change?”
Janie scratched her head and said, “I forgot.”
Gary Gold walked off the stage. “I’ve got to find that missing plate,” he mumbled as he went past Cam’s table.
Chapter Four
Gary Gold hurried through the big room, past all the people sitting at tables. Cam and Eric followed him.
“Helen,” he said to the woman standing by the entrance. “Has anyone left here carrying a large silver plate?”
“People keep coming in. They all want to be here for the contest. No one has left.”