Denying the Watcher

by Kim Loraine

  I bristle at the tone of his voice. “It’s not like you’ve let me near them.”

  “Can you two get this over with? I’ve got other things to take care of tonight,” Gabriel huffs.

  Putting one hand on Galen’s shoulder, I give a squeeze. “Go. I’ve got them until you come back.”

  With a fierce kiss to Reese’s lips, he steps forward, and Gabriel places a hand on his head as well as Sean’s. And they’re gone. No dramatic music, no whirling wind or flash of light.

  Just gone.

  My heart is shattering as I watch through Devin’s eyes. Now that I truly understand how Reese woke me, I realize I’ll always have love for her. She’s dejected, falling to the ground in a heap as her son and husband vanish, and I’m to blame.

  “Devin, let me take control. Please. I need to go to her.” I plead with him as though my life depends on it. She needs something he can’t give.

  Devin relents, and I take over, rushing to her and pulling her into my lap as I sit on the lawn and let her cry. I stroke her hair and rest my cheek on the top of her head as her heart continues breaking.

  “Hush, baby. You’re okay. It’s going to be all right.”

  She turns her face to meet mine, and I see it the moment she realizes it’s me. “Sariel?” Her voice is thick with tears. At first, I’m worried she’ll reject me, but as she looks into my eyes, her own shine with moisture, and she buries her face in my shoulder. “What if they don’t come back?”

  Fuck. How can I answer that? I don’t know. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring, what the angels will do. If they can’t bind Sean’s grace and keep him protected here on Earth, they’ll keep him where no harm can come to him. So I lie.

  “They will. I know it.”

  She clings to me, her arms so tight around my neck, I can feel her pulse. “Promise me.”

  “I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.”

  Standing, I carry her inside as she shivers in my arms. Her teeth chatter, and when I look her over, I realize she’s only wearing a thin shirt and pajama pants. Turning on the fire to warm her, I grab a blanket from the couch and wrap her in it.

  “I’ll get you a hot bath ready. You’re nearly frozen.”

  She nods and pulls her knees to her chest. I walk to the bathroom with my heart in my throat. Turning on the tap, I begin filling the tub, adding soothing jasmine oil to the water. The scent blooms in the warm steam as I move around the room. As I leave, I catch sight of her on the couch, bundled up, pale, and tearstained.

  “Come on, baby. The tub is ready for you. Let’s get you warmed up.”

  I avert my eyes as soon as we get into the room and she begins removing her pajamas. Pulling the shower curtain closed so she’ll have privacy, I glance toward the living room. “I’ll leave the door open in case you need me. Just call.”

  Her hand shoots out between the gap in the curtain, grasping mine and sending shock through me. “Thank you, Sariel.”

  I leave her, wandering aimlessly around the house as I try to come up with some solution that will bring her family back sooner. A high, thready cry breaks through the silence as Ella, Reese and Galen’s newest child, wakes. Following the sound, I walk up the stairs and into the bedroom where a little red-faced infant waves her tiny fists in anger. Scooping her into my arms, I inhale the softness of her baby scent and smile, remembering what I could have had with Selah. If things had been different.

  She settles as I bounce and walk through the house, humming softly in her ear. The water sloshes in the tub, alerting me that Reese must be finished bathing. She’ll want her baby, and possibly some time alone, but I can’t leave her now. Not with Galen and Sean gone. She wanders out of the bathroom, steam curling up from her pink skin, wrapped in a fluffy white towel. Her eyes go wide when she sees me with the baby, and then a soft smile takes the place of her momentary shock.

  “Did someone wake up?” she coos at the little one in my arms.

  “She was very cross.”

  “Oh, she’s hungry. Something only I can do for her.” Taking her baby, she murmurs and speaks nonsense as she settles in an armchair and offers her breast. Her gaze flicks to me. “Oh, sorry. I guess I should have covered up or something. I’m just so used to feeding her whenever I need to without worrying who’s around.”

  I shake my head. “Feeding a child isn’t sexual. It’s natural.” Sitting across from them, I stare into the flames burning in the fireplace. “Selah was pregnant when I lost her. It would have been our first child. She was overjoyed, and then terrified … and then it began to rain.”

  Her breath came in a soft gasp. “The Flood?”

  All I can do is nod. “Did Galen tell you I’ve found her? She’s here in Seattle, of all places. I’ve been searching for five years with Devin, and she’s been here all along.”

  “You’re sure it’s her? You thought I was her once upon a time.”

  “I’m positive. I only thought you were her because you share the same bloodline as her incarnation in this life.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “She must be somehow related to you. A distant cousin, perhaps.”

  “Sariel, that’s amazing. What are you doing here? Go after her. Find her and be with her.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t. Not yet. I still have work to do, and Devin has five months left until our agreed-upon time is up and he goes dormant. He’ll let me have complete control, and if this war isn’t over, I’ll finish it.” Picking at my nails, I sigh. “He’s fallen in love.”

  A bark of laughter escapes her, startling Ella, who’d fallen asleep. “Devin?”

  “He has. She’s his soul mate, Reese.”

  Her face turns serious. She understands better than anyone. “What are you going to do?”

  “What can I do? He’ll die if I move on. I’ll lose Selah if I don’t go after her now.”

  “Oh, Sariel.”

  I stand and walk over to her. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I smile down at the two of them. “I’ll get them back for you. If it’s the last thing I do, I promise.”

  She offers me a weak smile. “Thank you.” As Ella lets out a huge yawn, Reese does the same.

  “Go on to bed. I’ll keep watch tonight. You’ll be safe here.”

  “What about Devin?”

  I shrug. I have no fucking clue. “Tonight, it’s me. Tomorrow, we’ll see what happens. He’s strong, and he wants Willow. I won’t be able to break him easily.”

  Her sweet face turns hard. “You can’t do that to him, Sariel.”

  “I will if I have to.”

  I will not cry for this man. I will not.

  My eyes say otherwise, as hot tears burn and tremble at the precarious edge of my eyelids. I don’t want to let them fall because that means he’s hurt me. But then the image of him holding that beautiful woman in his arms, looking down at her with so much love as she clung to him in his living room, hits again. I shouldn’t have been spying, but I’d rung the doorbell and no one had answered. All I’d done was glance in the window. I wish I hadn’t. Or maybe I’m glad I did. This is going to make leaving him that much easier. When the time comes.

  I promised Sariel he could feed. And in turn, he promised to stay away. In the back of my mind, I remember him saying he’d return if needed, but this looks much more like a lover’s embrace than being needed. After all, the war between the Watchers and the archangels was imminent, and according to Sariel, he was an integral player on the side of good. And the sex is amazing. I can lock away my feelings, just give in to the pleasure. Shaking my head, I know I’m lying to myself. I might have told Devin I was falling, but the truth of the matter is, I’m gone—fallen so far I couldn’t claw my way back if I wanted. I thought he felt the same, but there’s no way he can look at her that way and feel even a fraction of what I feel for him. The heart doesn’t hold that much love for more than one person.

  As I walk down the street, swiping at my traitorous eyes, a cry of fear c
atches my attention. Pulling my stake from its confines, I rush toward the sound. Adrenaline kicking in, I push aside all thoughts of betrayal, hurt, or love. There’s a woman cowering against an alley wall. Her whole body trembles as a man looms over her, his fangs extended and a feral glow in his eyes. As I rush toward them, my heart pounds even as my blood runs cold. The dim light casts part of his face in shadow, but the closer I get, the more certain I am of the man standing in front of me. His smile, all too friendly, makes the single dimple in his left cheek appear, and when he steps forward, I gasp.

  “Mark?”

  I can’t move. It’s him. The man I was supposed to marry is standing in front of me, fangs fucking extended as he prepares to rip out the throat of an innocent woman.

  “Willow? Fuck, is that you?” He looks me up and down with an appreciative grin. “Damn, you look good enough to eat.” Then he laughs at his own bad joke, which makes my stomach churn.

  “Get away from her,” I finally get out.

  Hand around the woman’s throat, he rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Oh, you want a turn? I’m pretty fucking hungry. Let me take care of this one, and then you can be dessert.”

  Shaking my head to clear the wash of memories, I charge forward, ready to take him down. He lets go of the shaking woman as we clash, my foot connecting with his jaw, pushing him back a few steps. But then a sharp burn starts in my scalp as my hair is pulled nearly out of my head. I scream as the ground comes out from under my feet and I hit the pavement. My world goes black and my ears ring as I fight to stay conscious.

  “It’s her. She’s the one Sariel’s vessel wants.” Motherfucker, it’s the woman who is speaking. She’s close, her breath on my neck as she speaks. This was a fucking setup.

  “Of course it is. Why the fuck do you think I’m here? She wouldn’t have been distracted by some random vampire.” Mark sounds amused and his voice draws nearer as he inspects my body. “Azazel has been after her for the last six years. He sent Dominic, but of course the idiot just ended up killing me and her parents.”

  “But you’re not dead.”

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Dom came back and turned me, gave me his Watcher.”

  My heart splinters as those words fill my head. I really did cause their deaths. Through the fog of pain in my skull, the name Azazel pushes to the forefront. I know that name. Fallen angel, Watcher, demon. Why would Azazel want me enough to spend six years searching? To kill everyone I loved? My head pounds as I work to calm myself. They’ll sense that I’m conscious any second. Gripping the stake tightly, I swing, letting instinct guide me. The wood connects, sinking deep into the chest of the woman. I kick and flail as Mark tries to subdue me, but it’s too late for him. I’m pulling the stake free and shoving it into his chest even as he grips my neck. His eyes go wide with shock, but I see a flash of bright green and a smirk turn up one corner of his mouth. With disturbing strength, he pulls the stake free and yanks me to him.

  Whisper-quiet, he says, “Nice move, little human.”

  Then his teeth pierce my neck, and I let out a harsh scream. Burning pain rips through me, but he doesn’t feed. Mark dies, even as he holds me tight. Still, the burning continues, racing through my veins and into my heart and finally, my mind. Everything goes blank as I crumple to the ground in agony.

  Sariel is quiet after I wake. It’s only been a few days since he last fed, but I’ve always thought of him as more of a glutton than he’d like to admit. Something is off since I’d let him have two nights of control.

  “Sariel, what’s going on?”

  He stirs and pushes back, not wanting to talk.

  “I’m serious, man. I’m getting some fucking weird vibes from you.”

  I don’t know if I can save them.

  “Who?”

  Galen and Sean. Even if the archangels bind Sean’s powers, he’ll still be a target for the Watchers. They will do anything to hurt me. Hurting them will achieve that goal.

  I clench my teeth. I was afraid of this. There’s always something they don’t divulge until it’s too late. Damn.

  “Then we have to win even more than before. Has Feathers been back? Any word on where we need to go to kick these assholes into purgatory?”

  My ears pop, and I sigh. Speak of the … angel.

  He’s dressed head to toe in leather, his posture relaxed and wings hidden. The ease of his stance doesn’t match his words. “They’re all over the city, but they’ve been switching bodies, making new vampires. It’s nearly impossible to pin them down.”

  “So, what am I doing here? Just playing with my dick until something happens?”

  He cocks an eyebrow. “I don’t think it was you doing the playing. Besides, you shouldn’t be complaining. You got what you wanted.”

  “Gabe, cut the shit. How do we win this and get my friend and his kid back where they belong?”

  “We need to cut them off at the source of all this. Lucifer.”

  I laugh. He’s insane. “Um … you want me to take on the fucking leader of Hell? He’s an archangel. All he has to do is smite me.”

  Shaking his head, he pushes away from the wall. “No. He lost the power to smite when he fell.” He runs his fingers across the dust covering my dresser. “But, he can imprison you in chains and burn you alive for all eternity if he wants.”

  My stomach twists. “Yeah, there’s that. And what can I do to stop him? I can’t kill him. He’ll just come back.”

  “We have to bind him.”

  “And then what? Kill all the Watchers?”

  Shaking his head, he sighs. “I hope it doesn’t come to that. I never take pleasure in the demise of one of my brothers. It’s my hope that we can convince them of their own goodness. Maybe if they see how Sariel has changed, how he’s searching for his mate, they’ll come around.”

  “Do they all have soul mates?”

  “No. But many do. They’re angry and despairing. If they see that Sariel has a true chance to find her, they might give up the fight. Join our side.”

  I scoff. “That’s a fucking long shot.”

  Gabriel looks hurt, which wipes the disbelieving smirk off my face. “Would you so easily condemn Galen to eternity locked in a prison of flames?”

  Letting out a heavy sigh, I run my hand through my hair. “Okay, so we find Lucifer, lock his ass up, get Sariel back with his woman, and then what? Parade them around town for the other fallen to see?”

  “You have a better plan?”

  “No, but I was hoping angels would be smarter than me.”

  A bark of laughter escapes him. “We are. Believe me.”

  A sudden, sharp pang of worry hits me square in the chest. “Gabriel?”

  “Oh no, you’re going to ask me for a favor, aren’t you?”

  “How do you know that?”

  “You never use my true name unless you want something.”

  Fighting a chuckle, I nod. “You’re right. I … I need you to make me a promise.”

  “What? I owe you nothing. You’re getting back your chance at salvation. What more could you want?”

  “Willow. I know you’ve seen what’s been going on. I love her. I love her, and I know I can’t stay. Please promise me you’ll watch over her after Sariel takes control for good.”

  He purses his lips and rolls his eyes upward, muttering, “Oh, Father, give me strength.” When he looks back at me, his expression is serious. “I’ll do what I can for her, but, Devin, she’s not exempt from the perils of life. I can’t interfere with her destined path.”

  That’s not good enough, and I’m about to say so when Sariel flares to life. Leave it at that. Save his favors for when you really need them.

  Grumbling under my breath, “Fucking angelic jackasses.” I pull my leather jacket over my shoulders and step into my boots. I need to see Willow. More than anything.

  “Where are you going?” Gabriel asks.

  “Fucking out. Call me when you need me.”

  He doesn’t say ano
ther word as I head outside. When my bike rumbles to life, I close my eyes and take a cleansing breath. Pulling out my phone, I call Willow, hoping she’ll be home, ready and waiting for me.

  “Devin?” Her voice sends a wave of ice through me. She sounds sick—and afraid.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I … I don’t know. I’m—” The rest of her sentence cuts off as her phone clatters to the floor. I hear footfalls running away from the phone and the unmistakable sound of vomiting.

  I’m on the road and headed for her apartment without another word. Dread takes hold in my gut when I park and sprint for her building. As soon as I clear the stairs, I hear the sobs. Gut-wrenching cries seep through her door. Thank fuck she left her apartment unlocked. I’m kneeling beside her as she’s sick again and again, my hands rubbing wide circles over her back.

  Once she gathers control over herself, she leans back, trembling in my arms. Her skin is pale, slicked with sweat, and her beautiful hair has lost its luster. Something is draining her.

  “Devin. Oh, God. Something is inside me.”

  Now I’m the one who feels sick.

  Fuck.

  She’s pregnant.

  Everything hurts. I can only remember bits and pieces of the last two days, and I think my stomach is trying to crawl out of my body. But my mouth tastes … minty. Someone helped me brush my teeth. That someone must’ve been Devin. He’s the only consolation to my miserable state, but then I remember him looking longingly at that woman in his living room.

  “Angel, wake up. You need some water.” Devin’s hands are in my hair, brushing it back from my face.

  I’m lying across his lap. I don’t recall how I got there, but I don’t want to move. He’s not wearing a shirt, and I’m pretty sure that should be an illegal form of coercion. Every time I even think about shifting positions, my body screams no, so I listen.

  “No, thank you.” It might seem polite, but I’m mustering all the disdain I can.

  “You’re dehydrated. If you’d like, I can throw you over my shoulder and cart your stubborn little ass to the emergency room.”