Denying the Watcher

by Kim Loraine

  “No. You can’t. You might have to feed from humans now that we’re both vampires, but you and I both know you won’t get wet for anyone but me.”

  “How do we know that? I think I might need to test the theory.” Flipping my hair over my shoulders, I make my way toward the bathroom. I don’t need a shower, but I do need to get away from him.

  Take him. He wants you.

  I shake my head, working to put up the block I know will keep my Watcher at bay. If I let it feed, I’ll lose control of my body. A hand grips my arm, sending waves of desire through me. He’s touching me. It seems insignificant, but to feel Devin’s skin on mine after so many days of no contact is the same as if he’d pressed his lips against me. The fact that I’m completely nude and he’s tenting the front of a pair of sweatpants doesn’t help contain my arousal.

  “You’re not fucking anyone other than me, Willow. Ever.”

  And then the anger takes hold, pushing my lust to the side. He’s right. I’m bound to him, my heart, my body, and my fucking soul. He’s claimed me without even giving me a choice.

  “And that’s why I hate you. Get your fucking hands off me.”

  Shock flashes across his face, and he releases my arm, taking a step back before letting his arrogant mask slip back into place. “Well, you’re stuck with me. So get used to it. I’m not capable of letting you go, and I seriously doubt you’ll be able to make yourself wet for anyone else.”

  Storming back to the bedroom, I rifle through the clothes Devin brought for me from home, and select a nearly see-through top and tight jeans. I opt to go braless just to piss Devin off, and as I walk with a determined step through the house, I feel his gaze on me. Tension sizzles between us. Like two magnets, we’re pulled toward each other, even though we’ve both been resisting.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “What?” I ask with feigned innocence. I know exactly what he’s talking about. Straightening my posture, I press my breasts forward just a little more and see the flare of need in his eyes.

  “You look like a whore.”

  I shake my head, tutting. “Slut shaming won’t get you very far.”

  “It’s not slut shaming if it’s the truth. I can see your nipples.” He crosses the room, a feral look on his face. His penetrating stare hits me straight through the heart. “They’re hard as bullets.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m cold.”

  My Watcher is knocking at the door in my head, begging me to feed.

  “You’re a vampire. You don’t get cold. Try again.” His hand snakes around my waist.

  I’m so tired of this. I do want him. I want him so badly, my body aches. He’s not going to let me go, and truthfully, I don’t want him to.

  “Oh, just fucking kiss me already.” I sigh, giving up. I can’t take it anymore. I need him. I want his touch, his kiss, his cock.

  With his lips crashing against mine, shivers break over me as he groans into my mouth. He kisses me like he’s never going to see me again. Without a second thought, I run my hand down the planes of his abdomen and under his pants, stroking the velvety skin while marveling at how hard he is.

  “Fuck, Willow. I want you so badly.”

  “Then have me. I’m yours.”

  “You’re not. That’s the whole point.” He’s gone in the blink of an eye, across the room and running his hands through his hair.

  A sense of wrongness fills me as my body cries out for his. My heart aches as I see the trembling of his shoulders and arms. He’s trying to hold it together, and I’m the one causing him this pain. I want to go to him, but he stiffens and shakes his head the moment I start to move.

  “Gabriel. I need you.”

  What is he doing, calling in reinforcements? This is a private fucking moment. I cross my arms over my chest in an effort to hide my rock-hard nipples. If I’m going to meet the messenger of God, I don’t really want to be nipping. The air shifts, and a man appears from out of nowhere. His gaze burns into mine from where he stands. Platinum irises catch the light and shine. I can feel my Watcher stir and react. It’s afraid.

  “Devin. What do you want now?” He’s annoyed. Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  Devin gestures in my direction. “Fix her.”

  “Um, excuse me?” Devin just keeps pissing me off.

  “I can’t change her back.” Gabriel doesn’t even acknowledge me.

  “You changed Galen,” Devin insists.

  They continue to talk over me, like I’m not even here. Gabriel shakes his head. “Galen was dying. Do you know how much energy it took for me to restore him? I needed days to recover. I can’t do that again. Not when we’re so close to the final battle.”

  “How close?”

  “Lucifer is becoming bolder every day. It’s only a matter of months.”

  “Can’t you at least cast out her Watcher? Keep her safe from all this?” The desperation in Devin’s voice nearly makes me cry.

  The beautiful angel strides to me. Taking my face in his hands, he drops his lips to mine. Devin growls behind him. But I can feel Gabriel searching for my Watcher. He breaks the kiss and steps back.

  “Armaros won’t leave willingly. I could cast him out, but she would die.” He turns his silver eyes on me again. “Is that what you want?”

  “No!” Devin’s voice fills the room before I can answer. “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

  “They’ll use her against us, Devin. She is your weakness, and they know it. Why do you think Lucifer went after her in the first place? You’re destined. He knows it. He knew you’d turn her. That you’d do anything to save her.”

  “There must be something you can do,” he rasps.

  “I’m sorry.” Turning back to me, Gabriel puts a hand on my head. “Close your eyes, Willow. This will only hurt for a moment.”

  Fear grips my chest, but I know I’m doing the right thing.

  “Gabriel, no! You can’t take her from me!” Devin screams as he comes between us, shoving the angel’s hand off me. “Please. I’ll let her go. I won’t fight anymore as long as I know she’s safe.”

  Gabriel shoots him an angry glare. “You chose to do this to her. Your selfishness ruined her. She’ll never be safe again.”

  He shoves Devin so hard, the wall cracks as he slams into the plaster. Gabriel’s hand rests on my head again, and I close my eyes, ready to accept my fate.

  “Bind her Watcher! For fuck’s sake, give her a chance. You said only an archangel can bind one of the fallen. Bind Armaros.”

  Heaving a sigh, Gabriel takes his hand away and clasps my shoulders. “Do you understand what he’s asking of me?”

  Honestly, I’ve got no fucking clue what they’re talking about. “Not really.”

  “I can do this. I can bind Armaros, but there is a chance you won’t survive. If you do, my brother will live on inside you. Your consciousness will be his eternal prison.”

  Devin stiffens but doesn’t speak.

  “Will I still have to feed him?”

  Shaking his head, Gabriel smirks. “As much as I’m sure you’d find that enjoyable, no. A Watcher who is dormant has no need to feed.” Cocking an eyebrow, he chuckles before adding, “But, you’ll still have … desire.”

  “Will he ever wake?”

  “Unlikely. Unless his soul mate is walking this Earth. But, bound, he wouldn’t be able to find her anyway.” He purses his lips. “Actually, this is a fitting punishment. Much more fitting than purgatory.”

  Nodding, I flick my glance at Devin, who is standing with an anguished expression on his face. It hurts too much for me to bear. I close my eyes again. “Okay.”

  Gabriel’s lips are inches from mine as he whispers, “This will hurt.” Then he kisses me again, and indescribable pain slices through my entire being.

  Willow has been unconscious for hours since Gabriel bound her Watcher. He left with a sigh of frustration, and a warning for me to remember my promise. As if I could forget. I can�
�t stay. Now that she’s been saved from the fallen, I have to give up my fight to stay with her. Running my fingers through her beautiful hair, I feel my heart heavy with love. I’ve done all I can to make up for my betrayal. Hopefully, she can see past it and grant me the last few months we have together.

  She shifts her head from where it rests on my lap, making my chest tighten with worry. Is she going to leave me again? Crush me and throw me away like I deserve?

  A soft hum escapes her lips, but her eyes remain closed. “Devin.” My name is a breathy sigh. She’s coming back, but she’s not quite here yet. “I’m sorry.” A tear slips down her cheek, causing me to instinctively wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

  “It’s okay, Angel. You don’t have to apologize for a damn thing.”

  Then she opens those startling green eyes and stares at me before whispering, “I don’t hate you. I love you.”

  My breath catches in my throat. I can’t move. Frozen in place by the weight of her words and the gravity of our situation. Star-fucking-crossed.

  Throat burning, I swallow—hard. “I love you, Willow. I’m sorry for everything.”

  Slowly, she sits up but doesn’t scoot away from me. Her hand links with mine. “Thank you for fighting for me. I wasn’t ready to die.”

  Just the mention of her dying has panic clutching at my chest. “I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

  “And I’ll do the same for you.”

  Cupping the back of her neck, I pull her face to mine until our foreheads touch. “You know this is going to end badly?”

  “I do. But, I don’t think I could spend another second without you. I’d rather my life be made up of a collection of nights with you than years having never known you.”

  “Oh, thank fuck. I mean, I enjoy the hate sex as much as the next man, but I really wanted to spend the rest of my time making slow love to you.”

  “Not too slow I hope.” A hint of a smile turns up her mouth. “Sometimes fast and furious is necessary.”

  Shaking my head, I tangle my fingers in her hair. “Never fast. Wild, passionate, fucking frenzied, definitely, but fast would be a crime.”

  She nods and leans in, pressing her lips to mine in a soft, tender kiss. We’ve never shared a kiss like this one. Behind it is love, deep and powerful, and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I’ve got so much more to lose now.

  I’ve always had a fantasy where I went to a sex club. Now, as Willow and I glide down the stairs at an underground kink club, I’m a little giddy. We both need to feed, and as much as I want to be the only man she sinks her fangs into, I can’t. We can’t survive without living human blood, and since binding her Watcher, we’ve both gone weeks feeding only on each other. We’re weakening, and that isn’t smart. If she was a human, she’d be my single source of nourishment. She’d be all I’d need. A part of me burns for what I lost by turning her. But, it’s better than the alternative.

  “Oh, what about them? They look fun.” Willow juts her chin at a couple who are making out in a corner booth.

  I smile and nod. They’re exactly what we need. Caught up in each other, but clearly wanting to venture out of their comfortable lives. “Go get them, Angel. I’ll be waiting over here.”

  She gives me a wary look. “We’re not going to kill them, right?”

  I draw an X over my heart. “Promise.”

  “And we’re not fucking them?”

  Irrational rage runs through me. “No. We’re definitely not fucking them. Unless you want me to kill someone.”

  Watching Willow hunt might be the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. She’s bright, flirty, and since I know she’s hunting for both of us, my jealousy is a slow simmer rather than a boil. The guy sizes her up, lust in his gaze, making my hackles rise. Shit, maybe I’m not okay with this. I don’t think I can do it. But Willow takes the woman’s hand, whispers in her ear and makes the little blonde blush as they both walk toward me.

  “Devin, this is Lyla and her husband, Max. They’d like to join us this evening.”

  Max frowns at me but extends his hand. “Just so you know, I’m strictly into women.”

  I want to laugh in his face. Sure, I’d feed from men, but I’ve always loved pussy way too much to venture very far from it. “Me too, man.”

  “We’ve got a room reserved. You and your girl ready?” His gaze sweeps over Willow and again, I’m rolling in jealousy.

  “Give me the key,” I order, pulsing a bit of compulsion over Max. He hands the keycard over without even blinking. Weak-minded human. Gliding my hand over Willow’s ass, I squeeze and pull her tight against me. We’re in a sex club, for God’s sake. I’m going to take advantage and put my hands all over her every second we’re here. She smiles up at me, but I can see the flicker of need in her eyes—she needs human blood, and I can’t give it to her.

  “Let’s go,” she whispers in my ear.

  Nodding, I lead the way. Max and Lyla follow behind us, giggling, and when I look back over my shoulder, Lyla’s staring at him with more than lust. This girl loves him. But Max’s eyes are trained on Willow’s ass. Fuck. This isn’t going to work. I’ll end up killing him before Willow can feed.

  As we pass the dance floor, couples writhe, practically fucking to the music. All I really want is to push Willow up against the wall and have my way with her. But her hand is on the door to our private room, and we’re inside with the couple who will be our prey for the night before I can make any move to stop her.

  Max and Lyla follow me inside. He’s got Lyla against the wall as soon as the door shuts, but his eyes keep landing on Willow. I can’t fight my frown. Bastard has the same plan I do. Lyla moans and wraps her legs around him while I watch, willing myself to feel anything other than uncomfortable. Something about all this makes me twitchy, and not in a good fucking way.

  Soft kisses pepper the back of my neck as Willow sneaks behind me and runs her hands up my torso. Her breasts press into my back, making me harden immediately. “Let’s get this over with so we can go home and take care of you.” She runs her hand down and over my erection.

  Hissing in a sharp breath, I let her linger until I can’t take it anymore. “If you keep that up, I’ll take care of both of us right the fuck now.”

  Lyla’s moans fill the room, bouncing off the dark walls and calling our attention to her and Max. He’s got her bent over the back of the couch, skirt shoved up to her waist as he palms her bare ass. A sharp crack sounds as his hand connects with her skin.

  “Okay, let’s go. Remember to stop before the heart does. You should feel it slowing before it’s too late.”

  She nods and takes her lower lip between her teeth. Leading her across the room, I settle on the couch, running my hands over Lyla’s hair and neck while Max continues her punishment. I can feel Willow’s eyes boring into my head as I bring my lips to Lyla’s ear. Rolling my gaze up, I have to fight off the urge to stop when I catch sight of Max, his erection tenting his jeans as Willow turns her focus to him. She’s touching the bastard. It’s just a brush of her fingertips over his neck, but I don’t think I can fucking handle it. It’s only when she glances back at me, I realize what she’s doing. She’s toying with me. And it’s fucking working.

  “Time to stop playing games, Angel.” My words are clipped as she pulls Max’s body against hers. Fuck. He’s grinding against her.

  Smirking, she runs her nose along his neck and sighs. Goddammit. This is not going the way I’d planned. If she wants to fuck with me, I’ll give it right back. Licking the column of Lyla’s throat, I let out an exaggerated groan before sinking my fangs into her neck. She moans and writhes from her position across the back of the couch as I feed. Her hot blood is nearly tasteless, giving me strength but none of the satisfaction I crave. My vision never falters as I stare at Willow, her face a stony mask. Glaring at me, she kisses Max. Fucking kisses. I pull my lips from Lyla’s neck, a growl rumbling in my chest as his hands slide up her thighs and under
the short skirt she’s wearing. No fucking way. She is mine.

  Before he can move his hands any higher, she breaks the kiss and has him against the wall, her teeth in his neck. His eyes roll back in his head as he twitches in pleasure. Anger burns in my chest while I watch them, helpless to stop her. I want to be everything she needs, and I can’t. This asshole has the one thing I don’t.

  His hands fall limply from her waist, the action making my ears immediately tune in to his pulse. It’s slow. Too slow, and she’s not stopping.

  “Willow.” She doesn’t respond. “Angel, you have to stop.”

  I drape Lyla across the couch cushions. She’s out cold with a smile on her pretty face. Crossing the room, I grip Willow’s arm and tug. She releases him, glaring at me with a possessive anger burning in her eyes.

  Taking her face in my hands, I lock gazes with her. “Angel, he’s almost at the point of no return. Let him be.”

  “I need … ” Her nipples are hard against the fabric of her top, her cheeks are flushed, and the scent of her arousal engulfs me. Her Watcher may be bound, but she’s still affected by lust.

  “You want to fuck him?” My voice breaks as I force the words out. I don’t want it to be true.

  “No.” Her expression sobers instantly. She stares at me, a swirl of emotions in her eyes, and I know instantly I’ve said the wrong fucking thing.

  Without another word, she’s on her feet and out the door, hair flying behind her like a glossy red cape.

  “Shit.”

  Devin’s hands ghost under the hem of my shirt as he walks us up the stairs and out of the club. I can see the outline of his cock pressed against his pants. He’s hard as stone, and only an hour ago, I would have loved to take him right here in one of these rooms. But now? After … that, I don’t want anything to do with him.

  Feeding from a human, one who wasn’t high out of his mind, had been so different from taking from Devin. I liked it, but I didn’t. The guy tasted … off. Like he was spinach and Devin was an ice-cream sundae with a cherry on top. I know I need one to keep me healthy, but I love the other.