Denying the Watcher

by Kim Loraine

“Don’t be cute. Not right now. I don’t think I can take it.”

  My gaze wanders over his ravaged throat. The wound is still raw and bleeding slowly. It’s healed some, but not fast enough for my liking. I know what he needs, and I can’t give it to him. Running my fingers through his hair, I stand and murmur, “I’ll be right back.”

  With shaking hands, I pull out my phone and call Sariel. We’ve planned for this. It will be fine.

  “Willow?” His new voice is so strange, so commanding and strong—just like his new face.

  “He’s awake. Can you bring her?”

  The line clicks as he hangs up, and I can only imagine that means he’s on his way.

  Walking back into the room, I brace myself for the conversation we’re about to have. Devin offers a weak smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

  “You need to feed on—” I start.

  “Willow, you’re not strong enough.”

  My stomach clenches. It will be fine. “I know. You can’t feed from me. I’ve tried. Sariel is bringing Alanna. She’s agreed to … give you what you need.”

  “Alanna?”

  “I filled her in. She’s known what we are for a few weeks.”

  “That’s dangerous.”

  “Devin, Alanna has been my only confidant since I lost my family. She’s trustworthy.”

  The door opens, and Sariel walks in with Alanna trailing behind him. Her eyes widen when she sees Devin.

  “He’s not going to kill me, right?” she asks.

  “No,” I say.

  “Probably not,” Sariel offers at the same moment.

  “Whoa, hold on. Who the fuck is this guy?” The alarm in Devin’s weak voice has me pressing him back into the bed. He doesn’t have enough energy to get worked up.

  “It’s Sariel,” I offer. “We don’t know why, but he’s … himself.” Running my fingers through Devin’s hair, I stare down at him. “Right now, you need Alanna.”

  Alanna’s gaze lands on Devin. He just shakes his head and glances at me. “Are you sure you’re okay with this, Angel?”

  Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I nod. “You need to heal. I’ll be right here the whole time.”

  Settling Alanna on the bed, I take a seat on the other side. Holding her hand across his body and running my fingers through Devin’s hair. “It’s okay,” I assure him. Alanna leans down, placing her throat at his lips. He bites hesitantly. Her hiss of breath as his fangs puncture her vein sends a wave of jealousy over me, but then I watch the color return to his cheeks as he feeds. Holding on to my hand for dear life, she lets out a soft moan as he continues to feed. I can tell she’s trying to keep her face neutral, but I know exactly what Devin’s bite does to a woman. A shudder runs through her, and her hand falls lax in my grip.

  “Devin, you need to let her go,” I whisper into his ear. His neck is almost completely healed, and I know he won’t want to kill her.

  With a groan, he releases her, letting her fall back into Sariel’s waiting arms. Panic ripples through me as I tune in to her slowly beating heart.

  “She’ll be fine.” Sariel’s confident words ease my fears. “I’ll get her set up in the guest room. She’ll sleep the day away and be good as new.”

  As the door clicks shut behind him, Devin and I sit in tense silence.

  “Thank you, Willow.” His voice breaks down the walls I’ve had up since I left him.

  Tears flood my eyes, spilling down my cheeks and falling onto his sheets. I can’t stop them, can’t speak, can’t look at the face of the man I almost lost.

  “Hey, no. Don’t cry for me. You fucking saved me.”

  “You saved me too.” I hate my wobbly chin and cracking voice. I spent all this time not crying, and now here I am, losing my shit.

  His arms wrap around me, pulling me down to the bed and nestling my face against his firm chest. “Thank you, Angel. I never wanted to leave you. I need you to know that. The only thing going on inside me was figuring out how to stop him from staking you.”

  I hold him tighter, not wanting to let go. “You couldn’t have stayed away from the stake yourself?”

  A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest. “That would have been too easy. Go big or go home, right?”

  A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. I want to be mad at him for nearly dying. But I can’t. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

  We lie there together, not saying anything. I listen to the comforting beat of his heart as he runs his fingers over my arm in long, slow strokes. The only sound in the room is the ticking of the large clock on the wall.

  “Willow?” The hoarseness of his voice betrays the fear in that one word.

  Turning my face up to look at him, I offer a small smile. “What?”

  “Things are going to be … different between us now.”

  Sitting up, I frown. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t have Sariel.”

  “And? How does that change us?”

  His cheeks turn pink, and I immediately realize what he’s talking about. He can’t have sex. Ever. Disappointment settles in my chest, but I push it back, knowing that’s not what he needs right now. “It’s fine, Devin. You give me everything I need.”

  “Not everything. You have to feed off other men, and now I can’t even fuck you senseless anymore.”

  “Yeah, you’ve got it so rough. God forbid you should be happy that you’re still alive and aren’t sharing your body with a fallen fucking angel.” Maybe I should be more sensitive to his fears, but anger blossoms in my belly. Standing, I cross the room and head for the shower, needing to distract myself. “I can live without sex. Can you?”

  I slam the door, feeling a little better when the mirror rattles with the force of my actions. Slipping out of my clothes, I stand naked in the bathroom. I almost go back to him, but decide against it. I need time, and so does he. Turning the faucet, I let the water heat and fill the small space with steam. Doesn’t he know that I want him for more than just sex?

  Stepping under the spray, I let the water wash away the tension of the last few days. We’ll get through this, because this time, I’m not running.

  As Willow slams the door behind her, I’m caught somewhere between shock and anger. I’ve just lost the ability to love her the best way I know how. Sex with her is the ultimate form of adoration, and I’ve grown addicted to being inside her. She can live without sex? I don’t want either of us to have to.

  Tossing back the blankets, I get to my feet, expecting to feel weak from days and nights spent trying to heal. But Alanna’s blood gave me the strength I needed, and as soon as I realize I’m not going to fall on my ass, I head to the bathroom. Steam envelops me as I breach the threshold, coating my body in a layer of damp, warm air. I’m a fucking mess. My shirt is torn and bloodied, the skin of my neck is tight with dried blood, and I’m pretty sure my hair is matted as well. Pulling at my clothes, I drop them to the floor and pull back the shower curtain.

  “What are you doing in here?” Willow’s surprised shout has me grinning.

  “I’m dirty.”

  She fights a smile, and loses. “You are.” Stepping out of the water, she trades places with me, letting the hot spray wash away the blood. “I’ll help you clean up.”

  My chest tightens. If I still had the ability, I would already be sinking inside her, fucking her until all she could do was let out harsh screams. I let her run soapy hands over my shoulders and neck, rinsing my hair and relishing the feel of her fingers as they brush across my chest.

  “Fuck, Angel. I wish I could—”

  She stops me with her mouth on mine. Her tongue parts my lips as she deepens the kiss. I skate my hands up the line of her back until they cradle the back of her head and my fingers tangle in her long ruby hair. God, how I fucking adore this woman. And then it hits me. I get to have her, for eternity. I don’t have to leave. We don’t have a ticking clock hovering over us. We don’t have anything standing between us.

/>   My tongue catches on one of her fangs, drawing just a hint of blood. Her answering moan says it all. She needs to feed. She’s been tending to me and not taking care of herself for too long. Breaking our kiss, I cup her face in my hands.

  “Go ahead. Let me give you what you need.”

  Her pupils flare as the bloodlust kicks in, and she kisses me again before sliding her lips down my jaw and to my throat. “Are you sure you’re healed enough?” she murmurs over my vein.

  “Yes, Willow.” It feels so fucking good to have her skin on mine, to know that I can provide something for her. “God, please …” My limbs are trembling in anticipation. “Bite.”

  The woman is a tease, licking and nipping my skin, breathing along my neck, so close to giving me what I want. “Willow,” I groan through clenched teeth.

  Then her fangs pierce my flesh, and I’m lost in a wash of pleasure. My hands cup her ass, grinding her hips against mine as she feeds. Tingling rushes down my spine, all across my body, my balls tighten, and my cock lengthens and swells as the orgasm claims me.

  “Holy fuck.” My words are just a harsh whisper as pulse after pulse of release spills between us.

  She backs away, licking her lips and staring down at the evidence of what she did to me. “But … I thought …”

  “I don’t have a fucking clue how, but I’m not complaining.” Kissing her deeply, I taste my essence on her tongue and my half-erect cock hardens again.

  Spreading her legs, I lift her until she’s wrapped around my waist, the heat of her wet pussy cradling my length. “I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to let you come. And I’m going to do it right the hell now, Angel.”

  “Yes,” she breathes against my lips.

  Raising her hips, she sinks down over my aching arousal, and it’s all I can do not to fall to my knees. It feels so fucking good. I walk us to the wall, where I brace her against the tile and thrust deeply. The moan that falls from her lips nearly undoes me, but I need to make good on my promise. This is about her pleasure.

  I move slowly, deep inside as I cage her between my arms, leaning my head down to capture a nipple with my mouth. She arches her back, thrusting her breast closer, and my fangs descend. I’m not going to feed, even though I know she’ll come. I want to make her scream with my hips and cock, not with the aid of whatever it is about my bite.

  Sucking and laving my tongue around the stiff peak, I release one braced hand from the wall and slide it down to brush over her swollen clit. I know what she needs. As I move my fingers in tight circles, her breathing becomes shallow pants. She’s right fucking there, on the edge of pleasure. Releasing her breast, I watch her face. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she furrows her brow, eyes shut tight.

  “Please, Devin, let me come.”

  I shake my head. “Not yet.”

  Rolling my hips, I pull out, almost completely, before sliding all the way in again and again. She’s shaking with need, and I’m perilously close to losing it right along with her. Her fingers dig into my back, scratching long lines across my skin as I keep us there, hovering on the cliff.

  “Goddammit, Devin. You said you were going to fuck me, not torture me.” The plea in her voice is enough to break me. I kiss her hard, pumping steadily until I can feel her clenching around me and she cries out against my mouth. Her moans turn to high, keening cries, and then to screams. Orgasm rushes over me at the sound, and I lose the fight against it. My thrusts become frantic, erratic, and I’m filling her as my vision blurs and my brain focuses solely on riding this wave.

  As we come down to Earth, her eyes find mine in the postorgasmic haze.

  “Devin?” she whispers.

  Pressing my forehead to hers, I kiss the tip of her nose. “Yeah, Angel?”

  “I love you.”

  My chest feels like it might burst. Closing my eyes to fight the onslaught of emotions, I take a deep breath. “I love you too. So much it hurts.”

  Devin and Willow haven’t left his room once in the last two nights. He must’ve gotten the little gift I’d left him when I moved on. It had been my grace that helped his body … perform to its full potential. I couldn’t leave him with his soul mate, only to spend eternity without the ability to make love to her. Besides, I’ve already given up enough of my grace that I won’t be able to father children. What’s a little more to help the vampire who’d willingly taken me on?

  As I rifle through the clothes in Devin’s spare room, I can’t help but shake my head. The man has more leather jackets than any one person could ever need. My gaze lands on the only non-leather item in the closet. It’s a navy-colored, three-piece suit. When would Devin ever wear something like this? Never. That’s when.

  I spent five years in his body, and the man either walked around barely clothed, or covered head to toe in animal skin. Sure enough, after fishing around in the pockets, I find a dry cleaning receipt with Galen Turner scrawled across the bottom. A fleeting question of why Galen would keep a suit at Devin’s house runs through my mind, but I brush it off. I don’t really care.

  I feel so different this time around, and as I change out of the borrowed sweats and T-shirt which are too short for my long legs, and too tight around my shoulders, I fight a roiling stomach and pounding head. It’s as though my new body can’t handle having me in control. Like it’s rebelling against me even without another being living inside.

  I’ve avoided stepping out the door of Devin’s place, needing time to acclimate, and to make sure he was going to pull through. But now that those two are where they should be, it’s time for me to claim what’s mine. Selah is out there, and I’m not going to let her ride off into the sunset with anyone but me.

  Another wave of nausea hits me as I button the suit jacket and step into the wingtip shoes. I need to feed. I know I won’t be able to take from a woman sexually, but perhaps I’ll put these fangs to good use.

  Snagging Devin’s keys, I slip into the driver’s seat of his rarely used classic Aston Martin. Over the last few years, Devin watched a lot of James Bond, and I have to admit, I liked it.

  The engine starts without trouble, and I’m headed down the street, with no particular destination in mind. Since I’m dressed rather dapperly, I figure the usual haunts in Pioneer Square are out. I’ve never done this on my own before, but it seems an upscale club would be best. The glowing red sign in front of me draws me in, making a smile spread over my lips. Of course. This is the same jazz club Reese had worked at when she’d first woken me. How fitting to come back here and start my own venture toward my soul mate.

  Parking the car, I stroll confidently to the hostess. She looks me up and down, blinking a few times before swallowing.

  “Um, I’m sorry, we’re at capacity.” Her voice is husky and soft. She’ll do just fine. I don’t even need to get into the club.

  I put on a fake accent, knowing how much most women love a sexy British guy. “That’s all right, darling. I’m not terribly fond of jazz anyway. I’m really looking for someone to welcome me to the city. Think you’re up for the job?”

  Her cheeks flush a deep crimson as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. “I … I’m supposed to watch the door.”

  Leaning in close, I take her hand and turn it over, pressing my nose to her wrist. Inhaling her perfume, I hum softly. “It is you who smells so delectable. God, that scent was driving me mad. I don’t think I can go another moment without knowing what your lips taste like.”

  Her eyes are all starry and dreamy. This is too damn easy. Aren’t women supposed to respect themselves more than this?

  “Okay, but just for a minute.”

  Apparently not.

  She takes my hand and pulls me to a back alley, where I can hear the filtered noise of a jazz combo playing their set. Her lips are on mine in a flash, and I fight the urge to push her off me. I just need to do something about this raging hunger, and that has nothing to do with sex. Grabbing her chin, I turn her face away from mine and slide
my tongue over her neck. A shiver runs through her as she moans. Readying myself to bite, I wait for my fangs to make their appearance. But nothing happens. Damn. Am I doomed to starve until Selah lets me take her? I nibble the woman’s sensitive flesh and make her squirm. Still nothing.

  “What are you doing, brother?” Gabriel’s voice booms from behind me, sending a wave of embarrassment and frustration through me.

  Discarding the girl, I turn to face him. “I’m trying to sate this hunger.”

  “How? By licking her to death?”

  “What do you mean? You know exactly how this works.” I hear her annoyed huff and wave her away. “That’s quite enough from you, darling. Run along now, I’m sure you’ve got work to do.”

  “If you’re hungry, why don’t you just eat?”

  I roll my eyes to the sky. “That’s what I was trying to do.”

  “Sariel, you’re not a vampire. You don’t need to feed on blood.”

  My stomach turns to stone. “What?”

  “I thought you knew. You’ve been granted your original form. You’re a mortal man … albeit with angelic powers and strength, but you are as you were before the Flood.”

  “No. That’s not …” Possibilities rush through my brain as I think about what this could mean.

  “You must come with me. It has been too long since you were at full strength. We need to ensure you recall how to best utilize your power. And … Michael has something to give you.”

  “What does he have?”

  Gabriel shakes his head. “That is not for me to share. Come on. We have a great deal of work to do before we can go up against Lucifer. Stopping Azazel was a big step, but this is far from over.”

  My stomach sinks. “Selah.”

  “Sariel, you must stay focused on the goal. Father has only promised her to you if you succeed. You can’t go after her until Lucifer has been stopped. If you do … if you claim her, everything will change.”

  My heart lurches. She’s engaged to marry another man. I can’t let her go. Not now.

  “Brother, trust that what I say is true. It’s for her safety that you need to do this. There will be no world for her to live in if Lucifer gets his way.”