Raina hesitated. “I have two surgeries tomorrow morning, but then I don’t have office hours for the rest of the day.”
“Tomorrow?” It took him a moment to wrap his head around that. He thought he’d have time to get prepared, to ready himself for the idea. But then again, he didn’t want her to change her mind.
He’d been leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Now he unfolded them and approached the table where Manuel was seated. Raina was wearing a smock printed with cartoon characters today. Underneath, a pale pink silky blouse was tucked into cream slacks.
This close to her, the rush of heat targeted very strategic parts of his body. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“You can ask.”
“Have you dated since your husband passed on?”
“No, I haven’t. Some of my friends in New York thought I should, but I couldn’t. I guess I just wasn’t ready.”
“And now?”
“Are we going on a date?” she asked with a half smile that revved up his libido even more.
He chuckled. “That’s a fair question. I’d like to think of it as one, if that doesn’t rattle you too much.”
“If I just think of it as a picnic and trail ride, I won’t get rattled.”
“Are you sure?” He gazed deeply into her eyes and could feel the undeniable attraction pulling between them.
She ducked her head.
But he wouldn’t let her get away with that. He gently put his thumb under her chin, and she raised her gaze to his once more. “I think we should call a spade a spade,” he said.
“Or a date a date?” she teased.
“Yeah.”
After a hesitant moment, she asked, “What time do you want me there?”
“Whenever you’re done here.” He dropped his hand to his side, wanting to smooth his fingers over her cheek…brush her hair behind her ear…taste her lips.
She was looking at him as if she might want to do the same. “I’ll make sure my cell phone is charged this time.” Then she confided, “Shep, the boys made it easy last Saturday. When it’s just you and me… I haven’t dated for a very long time.”
“I hear it comes back easily. It’s just like riding a horse. You never forget how.” Then he did touch her again. He just couldn’t help it. He brushed the back of his hand over her cheek. “We’re just going to spend a little time together, Raina. We can talk, ride, hike—whatever we want. No pressure. No expectations.”
“That sounds good.”
“Wide horsey?” Manuel asked, interrupting them.
Shep lifted his son from the table, held him up in the air and made him squeal. “You’re a little young for a horsey. At least a real one. Maybe at Christmas, Santa will bring you a make-believe one.”
Gathering Manuel into his arms, Shep carried him to the door. He was already looking forward to tomorrow.
No pressure. No expectations. For either of them.
Raina had been jittery on the drive to Shep’s. But now, as they stood in the corral, the jitters were gone because she was worried he’d change his mind. He’d seemed distracted ever since she arrived. She wasn’t going to stay if he didn’t want to go on this trail ride.
He held the reins to her horse for her so she could mount. But she didn’t. Instead, she said, “I know you probably have a hundred other things you need to be doing.”
He looked surprised at her comment. “Why do you say that?”
“Because you seem far away. I don’t want to keep you from—”
“You’re not keeping me from anything.” He rubbed his hand over his face and gazed at her with consternation. “You’re too—”
“Perceptive?” she filled in sweetly.
He laughed then, a genuine laugh. “That’s one of the words for it.”
She waited, already knowing Shep used an easy grin and warm humor to deflect a discussion he didn’t want to have.
“I’m concerned about Joey,” he admitted. “But being concerned about him isn’t going to change anything right now, so let’s just head into the sun and enjoy being alive.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth he grimaced. “I always step into it with you, don’t I?”
“Shep, you don’t have to watch what you say. I’d like nothing better right now than to ride with the sun on my face.”
He stepped toward her slowly, as if he wanted to touch her. In fact, she thought he might play with the tips of her hair as he had once before. Excitement—and apprehension—tingled through her down to her fingertips, and she knew that was because she’d like to touch him, too.
But instead of reaching toward her, he took a step back. “Do you need a leg up?”
“No. As long as you hold Lazybones, I’ll be fine.” Though she didn’t know if she really would be. Her hands were shaking now. She couldn’t recall the last time a man had made her feel exactly like this.
She reached for the saddle horn, put her foot in the stirrup and took a hop up all at the same time. She was in the saddle now, but Shep was standing beside her, just in case she’d have a problem climbing up. She considered herself a supremely independent woman. Yet Shep’s protective manner made her feel feminine and looked after.
Their horses walked side by side as they rode out of the corral. A whispery breeze lifted her hair, brushed her face and seemed to cleanse her. The week of surgeries, appointments, her concern about Lily—it all seemed to shed from her shoulders until she felt renewed.
Shep kept pace with her as they soaked in the brush and the crooked fence line, the end-of-summer colors. One field was still dotted with yellow flowers. In the distance she caught sight of the fields of white cotton, and farther away, wind turbines that seemed to stand like protective sentinels. All of it was Texas now, the old and the new, the wild and the tame.
As she turned toward Shep at the same time he glanced at her, she realized he was still part of the wild side of Texas, even though on the outside he sometimes seemed tame. Was that why he excited her? Was that why she could forget the past when she looked into his blue eyes and got lost in a sensual haze? Tall, with a physique that showed he wasn’t afraid of hard work, he rode a horse as if he were one with it.
They rode along the same trail they’d taken with the boys, but when they reached the creek they turned east instead of west.
“I know a spot,” Shep said, “where the horses will be happy. There’s a clearing for a picnic and more wild-flowers than brush. I stuffed one of those NASA space blankets into the saddlebag, too, so we won’t have to worry about ants crawling on our plates.”
She laughed. “You thought of everything. Do you do this often?”
“I bring the boys out here a lot. They think walking along the creek is pure fun. But it’s a chance for me to teach them about marking a trail, learning what plants to stay away from—things like that.”
Shep seemed to know that the best ways to parent were the most subtle. But she often got the impression he wasn’t sure at all about how he was handling his sons. Was it because he hadn’t had a good role model?
That was none of her business, especially since he’d shied away from talking about his childhood.
Shep led them through tall grass, sage and tiny yellow flowers, where butterflies darted here and there. Riding beside Shep, Raina couldn’t imagine a more beautiful day.
Eventually he slowed and pointed ahead. “We can climb down here and tether the horses under those trees.”
Shep quickly dismounted and stood by Raina’s side, making sure she hopped to the ground safely. Standing close by, he waited until she was safely on the ground, then tethered the horses. The clearing under pecans and cottonwoods seemed to be a peaceful bit of paradise, as the creek water rushing over rocks into a natural dam sent crystal spray into the breeze.
“Would you like to hike first, or eat first and then work it off?”
“Maybe we could just sit and talk for a while and then decide.”
Shep gave her a lo
ng look. “Anything in particular you want to talk about?” He sounded a bit wary.
“Not really. I thought maybe you could tell me what the problem was with Joey.”
“You really want to hear that?”
“They’re good kids, Shep. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’d like to.”
After he gave her another studying look, he nodded. “Let me get that blanket so the grass doesn’t poke us.”
She had to smile. Shep was definitely a practical man, and she appreciated that.
Once he’d spread the silver blanket on the ground, they settled under a canopy of leaves. Raina kicked off her boots and tucked her legs beneath her. “So tell me what’s wrong. You really seemed worried this morning.”
Shep stared into the creek, then brought his gaze to hers. “Last week the nurse from the school called me. She said Joey didn’t feel well. He had a stomachache. So I picked him up and brought him home. He was mopey for a couple of hours but then seemed to be fine. I thought maybe he’d eaten something he shouldn’t have.”
“No fever or other symptoms?”
Shep shook his head. “No. I took his temperature. I watched him that day and the next. But he ate okay. He played with his brothers and didn’t act sick.”
“Did something else happen?” she asked.
“Yeah. Monday he didn’t want to go to school. He said his stomach hurt again. He cried and threw a fit, so I let him stay home. But something about it just didn’t feel right, so I took him in to see Tessa Rossi.”
“Tessa’s got a good eye, and she’s thorough.”
“Yeah, she is. She examined him and asked him a list of questions. She didn’t find anything. She said we could run a bunch of tests, but I hate to put him through that without good cause. Especially when she thinks something else could be going on.”
“Like something at school?” Raina guessed.
“Possibly. I don’t know. I can’t get him to talk to me. And Roy is just as close-mouthed. If he knows anything, he’s not saying.”
“Did you speak with Joey’s teacher?”
“That’s next on the list. I have a phone conference with her tonight.”
Raina couldn’t help moving a little closer to Shep, reaching out and touching his arm to offer comfort. But as soon as she did, everything changed between them. Instead of just engaging in friendly conversation, she felt connected to him in an elemental way. Her heart beat so fast she could hardly breathe, and the air around them seemed electrified.
Somehow, she managed to find a few words. “You’ll figure it out.”
The blue of his eyes had suddenly deepened. She knew he, too, felt the change in the air between them.
His voice was husky when he said, “This could be up to Joey. If he can’t trust me, it’s going to be hard going for us both.”
Shep shifted, leaned forward and sandwiched her hand between his and his arm—his very strong forearm. “I didn’t bring you out here today to talk about the boys.”
After only a moment’s hesitation, she asked, “Why did you ask me out here today?”
“Because I like you,” he said simply. “And because when I’m with you, all I can think about is kissing you.”
Her stomach did a flip. Her heart fluttered. The sun seemed even brighter and the sky even bluer.
“Say something,” he muttered. “If you want me to get back on my horse and forget this conversation ever happened—”
“I don’t want you to get back on your horse,” she almost whispered.
He took off his hat and set it on the blanket, out of the way. When he leaned in closer to her, she closed her eyes.
But his mouth didn’t cover hers. Instead, she felt his lips touch, whisper soft, slightly above her ear. “A kiss shouldn’t be too quick.” His voice was husky with desire.
“No?” she asked, her pulse pounding in her temples, her cheeks getting warm.
When he brushed his jaw against her cheek, she noticed only the slightest bit of stubble. The sensation was so erotic she felt her nipples harden.
His hand, still covering hers, now moved up her arm and under her hair. “If a man goes for a woman’s lips right away, the kiss is over too fast. So I like to ease into it.”
His lips brushed the corner of her mouth and her breaths came fast.
“Or would you rather just get it over with?” he asked against her mouth.
She shook her head, and when she did, her lips rubbed back and forth across his. Like flint on tinder, heat sparked. Suddenly they were kissing, with no chance to go back to slow and easy. He held her head with both hands as his tongue slid into her mouth.
Her response was instinctive and inflammatory. It had been too long since she’d felt like this. So long. Shep made her feel beautiful and desirable, protected and wanted. She let those feelings rule her as she wound her arms around his neck.
She couldn’t seem to get enough of him. The kiss that had started easy, that had grown sensual, had now turned into raw hunger. The excitement of the moment and the heat they were generating drove them on.
Shep stretched out his long legs against hers. Side by side they held on to each other. She was driven by something she didn’t understand, something she didn’t want to think about right now. She just wanted to feel—feel like a woman, feel Shep, feel him touching her. He would touch her if she touched him.
She slid one hand under his shirt placket and unfastened the snap. Her fingertips met hair and bare skin.
Shep groaned and lifted her T-shirt to unfasten her bra.
Raina had never been impulsive, never been imprudent, not in her whole life. But now she felt reckless and invigorated and awake to her sensuality in a way she hadn’t been for almost a decade. She wanted Shep’s hands on her body. She wanted to know she was capable of responding. She needed this tough, enigmatic cowboy to make her come alive.
He seemed to need her, too. He invited her taunting caresses by murmuring, “That’s it, Raina. That’s exactly right.”
When he’d given her breasts enough attention to make her grip his shoulders tightly, she cried, “I want more.”
“More of this or more of something else?”
“More of you,” she said almost mindlessly.
He unzipped her jeans and pulled them down far enough that he could insert his hand into her panties. Then he stroked her until she didn’t have a coherent thought.
In a frenzy of desire now, they feverishly undressed each other. When they were both naked, Shep covered her body with his, kissed her once more and asked, “Are you ready?”
Her desire for Shep seemed to consume her. “Yes,” she told him, breathlessly.
At first, Shep slowly guided himself inside her. She moaned, tasting passion, so hungry for it she could only arch up to him and clutch his shoulders, pleading for more. He plunged into her, and the speed at which they took each other robbed them both of all their breath. Raina’s body wound tight, tensed and released with shattering tremors that made every nerve ending quiver. She felt Shep’s climax end in a groaning shudder.
Raina held on to him tight, needing to feel his body against hers to prove what they’d just experienced had been real.
She was fine, really okay, until Shep rolled off her and onto his side. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Suddenly she had to blink fast to force away tears. But blinking didn’t help.
So many emotions assaulted her—regret, confusion, guilt, pent-up feelings of loss. Yet joy and tingling pleasure were still alive in her body from Shep’s touches, caresses and kisses.
What had she done?
Giving in to feelings she couldn’t push back, she finally had to let her tears run down her cheeks, because they had nowhere else to go.
Chapter Five
“What’s wrong?” Shep asked, looking horrified that he’d caused this reaction in her.
Raina couldn’t stop her tears long enough to tell him none of this was his fault. She couldn’t even catch h
er breath.
Really worried when she didn’t answer, he rolled to his side. “Did I hurt you?”
“No!” The word was a burst of emotion into the stillness of the peaceful day.
“Then what’s wrong?”
She shook her head and just held up her hand to signal she needed a few moments to figure it all out.
Quickly, he pulled on his briefs and jeans and buckled his belt. Then he waited without touching her.
She figured she’d spooked him as much as she’d spooked herself.
He handed her her panties and jeans and didn’t look away as she dressed, obviously determined to find out what was going on. Eventually, after she’d adjusted her bra and rebuttoned her blouse, her tears slowed.
Thoughts zipped through her mind and she said the first one that found its way to her mouth. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t be here with you.”
The lines along Shep’s mouth became more pronounced, and she could tell he was restraining his response. “Why?” he asked, calmly.
She was grateful for his calm. If he had turned angry or frustrated or impatient, she probably would have kept all her thoughts to herself. But Shep’s concerned blue eyes and his gentle waiting urged it to all pour out.
“Do you know what the date is?” Without waiting for him to answer, she continued, “It’s September ninth, and Saturday is September eleventh.”
“Raina.”
The caring in his voice undid her even more. “You don’t understand,” she said, before he could say he did. “I know it’s been nine years, and I didn’t think another anniversary would be so raw. But it’s not just Clark and what happened to him and all the others. It’s the memories of everything about it—going to the Family Assistance Center, applying for the death certificate, forever hearing the fire bell clang at the Ground Zero memorial service. And most of all, the finality of that sound.” She shook her head, as if that could stop the memory. “Every year I remember the private memorial service we had, too. Clark’s friends and relatives told stories and I made a collage of pictures. His brother pieced together videos of him.”
The Texan’s Happily-Ever-After Page 6