Destructive Embrace

by Robyn M. Pierce

  The more sinister part of me wanted to go downstairs and wreak havoc – a far cry from my previous longing to join in the fun – but I held myself back.

  If Elyssa was suffering, I didn't really want to hurt her more. It was already my fault that she was in pain, since I was the one who had convinced her that stabbing Reid – taking his life – would free him from Tywin's hold.

  Tywin. That bastard. I hoped that he was gone for real this time. I wasn't sure what I would do if he somehow managed to revive himself again. Knowing the old man...

  "It's not an impossibility," I muttered. My eyes followed Elyssa's movements as she trained with Dmitri. He was showing her the basics of blocking and attacking. Watching her defend herself from Dmitri – who was most certainly holding back anyway – was amusing and made me smile.

  I turned from the window and began walking through the halls again, peering out each window as I passed it to catch glimpses of Elyssa again. I reached the stairwell and went down a floor so that I could see better. It was relaxing to watch them train, to have nothing clouding my mind as I watched her throw herself into learning the techniques that Dmitri was showing her.

  I settled myself on the windowsill of a window above them and off to the side a little so I wouldn't have to crane my neck in order to see her. My foot rested on the sill beside me, and I propped my elbow on my knee, resting my chin in my hand.

  Dmitri looked up and, upon noticing me, frowned. But he quickly brought his attention back to Elyssa before she could notice that his attention has strayed for even a moment. Dmitri apparently didn't want her to see me. "That suits me just fine," I murmured.

  A dull ache filled my chest as I continued to watch Elyssa. Their training continued for the next forty-five minutes, during which time Elyssa had accumulated quite a bit of grime and sweat from her efforts. Dmitri hardly looked ruffled, and I chuckled.

  Dmitri's eyes wandered up to find me again – probably to see if I'd watched their whole session – and Elyssa's gaze followed his curiously. When her gaze fell on me, her eyes widened and her lips parted. For the briefest moment, she appeared to be saddened at the sight of me. Then, her face wiped clean of that negative emotion and she waved, the corners of her mouth tilting downward slightly.

  I waved halfheartedly back at her, the corners of my mouth also turning down in a grimace. "God damn you, Dmitri," I muttered.

  She turned her attention away from me and said something to Dmitri before heading inside. Dmitri remained standing there for another few moments, eyes trained on me. His gaze had hardened and the glare was apparent on his face. What the hell did he have to be mad about? Had Elyssa told him what happened? If so, how did I deserve a glare, even in Dmitri's eyes? I wasn't the one who stabbed Reid.

  My thought process shut down as I realized that I used the same logic that Roxann had tried to force on me. I sighed and lowered my feet to the floor so I could stand. I began walking again, heading to the stairs.

  As I rounded a corner, someone ran into me and the two of us crashed to the floor, the offensive person landing half on top of me. Whoever it was had been moving fast enough to knock me down – it had to be a vampire. I pushed the person off me and jumped to my feet, scowling down at them.

  Elyssa. Of course.

  "Ouch," she muttered, rubbing her side as she sat up. "Next time I'll move slower," she said, giggling nervously. She was a mess. Dirt was smudged all over her face and covered her clothes. How she'd managed to muck herself up so thoroughly was beyond me, but it made me laugh. She glared at me and got to her feet.

  "What's so funny, Zeke?" she asked. A spark of defiance touched her eyes, but it vanished quickly, and I wondered what she'd done to get rid of her feelings, even those that would come in handy when she was in my presence. Then it hit me. "Why did you turn them off?"

  Her posture stiffened and I clenched my fists at my sides so I wouldn't grab her and shake some sense into her. "That isn't any of your business, Ezekiel." Ouch. My full name. Two can play at that game.

  "Seeing as you're in my castle, Elyssa Jane Smith," I began with a smirk, "I think it is." She clenched her jaw at my statement and swung her arm out to hit me in the face. The punch landed solidly on my jaw and I groaned as it dislocated. So she really was learning things from Dmitri. Damn.

  Glaring at her, I set my jaw back in place and grabbed her shoulders. Shoving her against the nearby wall – hard – I leaned down so that I could look directly into her eyes. "Elyssa! It isn't a joke! When our kind abandon all feeling, that's usually when we wreak havoc on the humans!" She blinked every few words, but other than that didn't do anything. No words left that snappy little mouth of hers, and I shook her harshly. "You weren't meant to be cold and emotionless!" I bit out, growling at her from deep in my chest.

  Those green eyes widened, and her jaw dropped a little. The light was still out, though, and I knew she wasn't ready to give up the facade that made us true vampires. "Zeke," she began, shaking her head. She grabbed my wrists and gently removed my hands from her shoulders. "I'm fine. I just need it for a little while," she promised. She still held my hands, and she squeezed them.

  "I just... Need it right now," she whispered. For a moment, the emotions showed in her eyes once more, the pain she was in deep down inside her. I shook her hands away and cradled her face in them.

  "Elyssa," I breathed. "You should grieve. You should not be running around this place without emotions. You're going to get in trouble," I told her. I knew that she knew it was true; there wasn't much that I told her that wasn’t true. Why start lying to her now?

  Elyssa sighed and dropped her head forward, out of my hands. She then ducked around me and stood there, waiting for me to turn around. As I did, she set one hand against my face, her palm warm against my skin. I didn't care if she was getting my face dirty. "Zeke. I'm going to be fine. Let me handle this the way I see fit. Please." Then she ran off. I could have followed her with ease, but if she needed to be alone, then who was I to intrude?

  I headed to the nearest bathroom to make sure I was clean before I left the castle. When all traces of dirt were removed from my face and hands, I left the castle. My destination was the mainland, so that I could –

  Well, I didn't really know. All I knew what that I needed to be off Lanistter Isle for a little while. As I boarded the ferry less than half an hour later, I looked back at the island, the castle.

  Everything was there. Including the things that would make my life more of a hell than it already was. What if I just left?

  I shook my head to remove the thought from my mind. As I shook my head, my hair fell forward, getting in my face as the sea breeze ran through the tresses. I scowled. That's what I needed: a haircut. As soon as the ferry landed, I would be going off to find a hairdresser.

  As the ferry moved, the thought occurred to me that I could probably cut my own hair, but soon it was pushed out by the fear that I would severely mess it up and would be trapped looking stupid with a messed up haircut.

  "Yes, I definitely need a hairdresser to do this particular thing for me," I muttered.

  Elyssa

  Several days after Reid’s death, I was healthily mourning Reid. The numbness felt too good to give up, but somehow I forced myself back into the realm of those with emotions, where I belonged.

  I paced back and forth across the floor of my new room in Zeke’s lower levels, debating. “Can I really part with this thing?” I muttered to myself, shooting a glance at the journal. Over the past few days, I’d memorized the passages that meant the most to me – a few of Tywin’s rants, a handful of Reid’s more… Reid-like entries, as well as his final entry – and had no more use for it.

  “Zeke will have a better chance of gaining insight into what some of Tywin’s bullshit means anyway,” I told myself. That was the deciding factor.

  So I picked up the journal and left my room. I made two consecutive right turns before I arrived at the double doors that led down to the dungeon of the cas
tle. Taking a deep breath, I pushed through the door and traveled down the stairs.

  I stepped into the dungeon and froze. There were locks of blond hair scattered across the floor. He didn’t… I thought with a gasp. A scream pierced the air and I reached for my Kodachi. I cussed quietly when I remembered that I left them in Reid’s room the day he died. Idiot, I reprimanded myself.

  I knew I would regret it, but I moved through the dungeon to get to the cell where the scream came from. Halfway there, my nose and throat began to burn from the scent of human blood, and I paused. Did I really want to go in there? Why would he cut his hair? I wondered. My curiosity won out.

  I inhaled one last breath of the stinging aroma and held my breath as I stepped into the cell. The gasp that slipped through my lips allowed more of the burning scent into my nose, and I held my hands up – journal in hand – to try to block it out. Slowly, I looked over journal at the scene before me.

  The sight I was rewarded with was one that I would never forget. The gory remains of a human dangled limply from a set of chains on the wall. The blonde woman was dead, her hair matted with blood and clumped together in various places. There was hardly any clean skin showing – she was beaten brutally and carelessly.

  The man holding the whip – a single-tipped whip with a small, sharp hook on the end – turned around with a growl. His crimson eyes were cold and empty.

  I pressed one hand against my mouth as I stared at Zeke. He was covered in the woman’s blood, and his new, shorter hair was clumped in similar ways as the woman’s. “Zeke,” I whispered. I’d never been around when he was beating another woman – aside from his joint session with Roxann and me.

  I’d never been around when he killed a women.

  He began to move toward me. His movements were slow and smooth; he wasn’t trying to threaten me, I realized. As he passed by the table in the cell, he let the whip clatter to the surface.

  “Why are you here?” Zeke asked. He brought his hands to his face and breathed deeply. When he dropped his hands, more blood was smeared across his face and he looked exhausted.

  I let the journal fall from my hands as I rushed toward him. I collided with him in a rough hug. His soft grunt told me he was caught off guard, but his arms immediately wound around my waist. He gripped me painfully, burying his face in the crook of my shoulder. I squeezed him back, running my hands along his back and shoulders.

  Suddenly, he pulled away and moved away from me quickly. “Stop,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse, his expression pained. So much emotion ran through his eyes… I longed to embrace him once more. However, I refrained, thinking I was the one to put that broken expression on his face.

  “Why are you here?” he repeated, sighing. I bit my lip, looking back at the journal on the floor. Zeke’s eyes followed mine, and, taking in the journal, he laughed bitterly. “Sure, Elyssa,” he bit out my name like it was an expletive. “Bring me the journal where Reid talks about how he was slowly going mad. Remind me once more that I didn’t do anything to help him!” His snarl made me flinch and he laughed once.

  I began to walk backward as the first echoes of fear resonated in me. Zeke was on me in a second, though, his hands clamped painfully around my arms. “What? Finally afraid of the monster Zeke?” he asked, laughing. “About fucking time,” he spat, thrusting me away from him.

  I bit down hard on my tongue. I wasn’t really afraid of him; he’d just caught me off guard with his hostility, especially since he’d returned my embrace just a moment before. I decided to not answer, instead turning to pick up the journal.

  “I thought it would give you a better insight into what was happening,” I said, turning to face him once more. I nearly dropped the worn book again; he was directly in front of me, invading my body space. Breathing heavily, I continued in a steady, quiet, voice even though my throat seared with pain at the scent of blood. “The hold Tywin had on his mind was far stronger than anyone would have guessed, Zeke,” I said. “There wasn’t much that anyone – including you – could have done.”

  Zeke brought one hand up to grip my throat. I winced at the pain of his hand crushing my windpipe, but otherwise just stood there. Reasoning with him never worked anyway. “Like I said,” he growled, eyes boring into mine. “I do not wish for that to be rubbed in my face. So take your dead Mate’s journal and go fuck yourself.”

  He released me then, and I inhaled deeply without thinking; the scent of the dead woman’s blood once again ripped through me. I brought my hands up to my neck, clumsily holding my throat because I still held the journal, and hissed. Zeke laughed quietly. If I hadn’t been in pain over the scent of blood, I would have been glad that he was laughing. Under the circumstances, though, I glared at him. He shrugged one shoulder, teeth bared in a lopsided grin.

  His suddenly carefree attitude worried me, but I figured that it was better than him man-handling me, so I heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Did you get your fix?” I asked sarcastically. My voice was rough, and while each inhale reduced the pain in my throat as I became accustomed to the scent, it still burned.

  His grin widened, and I imagined a blond-haired, red-eyed Cheshire cat for a moment. “It made me feel good to beat her, yes,” he told me. “I didn’t mean to kill her so quickly, though.”

  I hesitated before asking my next question. “Who was she?” It must have startled Zeke, because his grin faltered, and his gaze softened.

  “I went to the mainland to find someone to cut my hair,” Zeke murmured, brushing his hands through his hair. It was noticeably shorter, only an inch or so long. It was a startling length in comparison to his hair which was previously long enough to always be fastened in a ponytail at the base of his neck. “I didn’t want to butcher this little project,” he muttered, dropping his hands. “So I Willed her to come back here, gave her the impression that I would blow her mind, if only she would be a good little hairdresser and chop my hair off.”

  He didn’t mention why he wanted to get rid of his beautiful hair, so I let it go for the moment. “Why did you want to play with her?” I asked.

  A sly smile rose to his lips, and dread filled my stomach. “Jealous, love? Don’t worry, I’ll break you before you know it,” he teased. I grimaced. The bastard…

  “Well,” Zeke continued before I could give him a piece of my mind, “I really wanted the haircut, but when she was finished, I regretted it instantly.”

  “So instead of being a grown-up and accepting your own wrong choice,” I began drily, crossing my arms over my chest, “you took it out on the poor woman who only did what you asked of her. Aren’t we mature?”

  Zeke glared at me shortly before sending me an unabashed grin. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Are you sure you want to get me all riled up, Elyssa?” he asked. “I’m not sure you would walk away if I chained you up right now.”

  My breathing faltered. Why was he warning me to back off? Did he really not want to get his hands on me? With how he always treated me, it was hard to imagine.

  Really? A small voice questioned me. Vivid memories of my last ‘visit’ to the dungeon invaded my mind.

  “I love you…”

  I fought to keep my expression blank, but my heartbeat betrayed me, pounding faster than before. Zeke’s change of expression told me he’d heard; he grinned at me wickedly.

  “Excited all of a sudden?” he asked, taking a step toward me. Instinctively, I back up; Zeke continued his advance until I was backed against a wall. He braced himself against the wall by placing his arms on either side of me. I held my breath as he leaned in close, grin fading from his face.

  “Are you afraid of something, Elyssa?” he asked quietly. His cool breath brushed along my skin comfortingly, and I released my breath with a sigh. He smiled – not a smirk or a grin, but a smile – and enclosed me in a hug.

  Caught off guard, I began to pull away, only to be stopped by the wall. Zeke laughed into my ear and squeezed me harder. I gave in and slipped my arms around his torso.
<
br />   The energy in the room changed, darkening with the weight of… Something. Zeke began to tremble.

  “Zeke?” I asked. My voice warbled. He pulled away and gripped my arms.

  “Why do you want me to have that journal?” he asked, staring into my eyes. I hesitated. He shook me once. “Answer me!”

  I bit down on my lip in hesitation. Was it just rubbing it in his face? I didn’t see it that way. “Don’t you want to know why it all happened? Why he chose Reid?”

  Zeke backhanded me. For the briefest moment, I saw stars, and then my vision cleared. The right side of my face stung horribly, and I tasted the coppery flavor of my blood.

  “Not only would it rub it in my face that I didn’t help him, but also the fact that Reid was our father’s favorite,” Zeke hissed, pulling me away from the wall to slam me back against it painfully. More stars decorated my vision as my head slammed against the wall. Great, I thought, groaning at the pain. I accidentally tapped into his daddy issues.

  I lifted my hands to set them on his shoulders. As I applied pressure to shove him away from me, he grabbed my wrists and pinned my hands above my head. “Don’t put your filthy hands on me,” he whispered.

  He’d warned me about pushing him too far this time, but I’d barely cone anything. “Zeke,” I began, meeting his gaze. Those eyes were colder than I’d ever seen them before, and I swallowed nervously. Before I could speak again – not that I knew what I would say – he swung me away from the wall we were on, and carried me into the next cell. My struggles did nothing to slow his process. In fact, with each kick I landed, his hold strengthened and soon he slammed me against the wall of the new cell; a sharp pain ran along the length of my back, and I cried out.

  “Ah, such a lovely noise,” Zeke said. His voice was quiet, almost musing as he shackled me to the wall.

  I began to panic as I wondered how far he would go to break my spirit. Would he rape me? Or bring me to the brink of death only to revive me and repeat the process? I remembered the pain-intensifying serum from before, and cold dread filled me.