Hadrian's Rage

by Patricia-Marie Budd

  “Thanks, kid.” Wolf truly does appreciate the approbation.

  “And my name’s not ‘kid’; it’s Matthew.” Now, considering his new position, he adds, “Besides, how am I going to carry any weight around this place if you keep calling me ‘kid’?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know, but ‘Matthew’ is too formal for me.”

  “Then call me ‘Matt.’ I’m okay with that.”

  “All right, kid, I’ll call you, ‘Matt.’” Matthew just rolls his eyes. Wolf grins, “Okay, let’s get this place cleaned up. I’m interviewing for secretaries this afternoon.”

  “Cleaned up?” Matthew is confused. “What in Hadrian’s name is there to do?”

  “Watch your language,” Wolf chastises lightly. “We’re in the office now.”

  “Sorry, but seriously,” says Matthew, gesturing first to Wolf’s office, “you got your desk.” Now to the reception/waiting room, “There’s the secretary’s desk. Two chairs and a coffee table for whoever the hell—heck—comes up here to wait to talk to you,” gesturing now to his cubicle space, “and I got my work area.” Looking around, convinced all is fine, he concludes, “There’s nothing for us to do but sit down, call up our new office programs, and get to work.” Matthew slaps his hands together in anticipation and begins moving towards his cubicle.

  Wolf grimaces. “Look at this place!” Disgusted, he wipes his finger over his desktop and then wiggles black grime in Matthew’s face. “I doubt Malco ever once took a rag to this place.” Now assuming what he thinks is an authoritative stance, he orders Matthew to get out a broom and dustpan and start sweeping the office floors. Still having trouble seeing his coworker in a senior role, Matthew makes a mock salute before heading towards the bathroom to retrieve the necessary cleaning tools.

  “Don’t be such a smartass, ki—Matt. I’m still getting used to my new role. And I’m nervous.”

  Wolf purposefully ignores Matthew’s laughter. They are both feeling good-natured these days with such good fortune having come their way. He can let the young man have his guffaws. Wolf crosses over to his desk and sits down. Blinking, he brings up the office program Matthew spoke of. It waves slightly in the air. Finding it a little hard to view, he blinks up the image of an old-style computer screen, which Wolf believes stabilizes the text. Both he and Matthew were issued vocs as part of their new position. Geoffrey Hunter set both men up on a three-year, no interest loan, allowing them to pay off their vocs through a monthly deduction from their work credits. Even with these monthly payments, both men are now earning more than they ever dreamed possible in their lifetimes. After opening up one of the manuals Mr. Hunter sent for him to study, Wolf calls out to Matthew, “Matt, can you start in here? My first interview is at one o’clock, and I want to make a good impression.”

  This time, Matthew’s laughter is so robust the red dreadlocks dance around his face as his whole body shakes. His green eyes twinkle as he turns back to lean inside the doorframe of Wolf’s office. “What in Hadrian’s name have you to be worried about? You’re the boss! You’re the one doing the interviewing.”

  “Yeah.” Wolf blushes again, aware of the absurdity of his remark. “It’s just I never interviewed anyone before. Mr. Hunter gave me some tips, but it still feels weird.”

  Matthew’s pleasure at Wolf’s discomfort actually causes Wolf to squirm a little. “My first interview is going to be with a woman.”

  Matthew turns grim. He knows the discomfort that comes when a re-ed man is forced into a woman’s presence, especially when the man spent two years in the re-ed system like Wolf did. Matthew was lucky. He had only a couple of months under the torture of Gideon Weller, the notorious Warden of the Northeast Reeducation Camp. Gideon Weller was known for the use of corporal punishment and electric shock therapy. That all ended after Jason Warith had the man arrested for abuses against re-ed youth, as well as raping six victims, all of whom committed suicide while under his care. “Do you have to interview women?” Matthew asks gently. He knows how hard this will be for Wolf. He’s heard the horror stories of how effective reeducation is; he, being a product of the same camp system, albeit for a much shorter period of time, also finds himself feeling queasy when around a woman he finds attractive.

  “Mr. Hunter said that no court would back me if I refuse to interview a woman. It would be seen as discrimination.” Not wanting to make Mr. Hunter out as the villain, Wolf quickly adds, to the man’s defense, “He said he understood, that his husband suffered from the same thing, but Dean, his husband, never had to work with women; he was a stay-home spouse.” Sighing, Wolf rubs his forehead, removing some of the nervous sweat buildup. “Me, on the other hand, well, I’m a pier manager, so I’ve got to work with the public, in a sense. Whether I like it or not, I’ve got to interview the woman if she puts in an application and her CV is noteworthy.” Blinking up the girl’s resume, Wolf has to admit, “And this woman’s CV is definitely noteworthy.”

  “Maybe she won’t be your type,” Matthew suggests. He finds it much easier being around women to whom he isn’t sexually attracted.

  Wolf laughs. “Me? I was a real horn dog before I got caught. I don’t remember a single lady out there I wasn’t interested in. All women are beautiful in my mind.”

  “Even the homely ones?”

  Wolf studies the young man. “Homely, Matt? There are no homely people. Get to know the person and the beauty of the soul shines out of her eyes and through the smile.”

  Matt chuckles. “You’re a hopeless romantic.” Twirling the broom he was using in his right hand, he asks, “What time you say she would be showing up?”

  “One o’clock.”

  “You want I should be out of here then?”

  “No,” Wolf determines judiciously. “You would have to share a work-space with her, assuming she gets hired, so I think it best you at least meet her and see how you feel around her, too.”

  Still spinning the broom, Matt attempts to respond in a blasé manner, “All right, boss. You know best.” But he, like Wolf, is discombobulated at the prospect of having to spend a substantial amount of time in the woman’s presence, maybe even working in tight quarters next to her.

  Wolf knows what Matt is feeling. He thinks, Get him working; that will help get his mind off the looming possibility of the upcoming, and most likely, unpleasant experience. “Stop spinning that broom,” he orders, “and start running it over the floor like you’re supposed to.”

  *****

  When Stephanie Chatters walks into the reception area of Wolf’s new office, Matt is nowhere in sight. He has just slipped into the washroom to put away the last of the cleaning tools and is currently relieving himself. So when Wolf steps into the doorway of his office, he greets the young lady, completely oblivious of the role she once played in Matthew Molloy’s life.

  Wolf smiles, extends his hand, and welcomes her inside his small office space. “Hello, Ms. Chatters.” Directing her to the chair opposite and facing his desk, he says, “Please have a seat.” He closes the office door behind him so they can hold the interview in private.

  *****

  The interview went better than Wolf had expected. Still, he listened to Mr. Hunter’s advice about not hiring the first person who walks through the door. “Let the prospective employee know you have other applicants to interview and that you’ll get back to her after the interview process is finished.” Wolf remembers Mr. Hunter’s smile. “You may well end up hiring the first person in the end, but you don’t want to make that decision until you have considered all the applicants.” Wolf grimaces, wondering whether he is really management material. Sensing his sudden frown is disconcerting the young lady, Wolf resurrects his smile and gently leads her from his office into the reception waiting room. His hand on the back of her waist feels comfortable, and only now does he realize she hasn’t caused him to feel queasy at all, which Wolf finds amazing considering how attractive Stephanie Chatters is. Her breasts are the perfect champagne glass full, her lips
are plump, and her makeup is impeccably applied. The perfect lipstick lesbian, he decides, and if I were a woman, but he instantly lets that thought disintegrate. Once in the waiting area, Wolf gestures for Ms. Chatters to sit in one of the chairs next to the small, round coffee table. “Ms. Chatters, if you wouldn’t mind taking a seat. I would like to introduce you to my assistant. If you get this job, you will be working with him almost as much as you will be working with me. I think it wise you two meet.”

  Stephanie’s smile widens. She sees this as affirmation that the interview went well and she might land this contract. Sadly, her hopes are dashed as soon as Wolf calls his assistant and Matty Molloy, her ward from the Northeast Reeducation Camp, steps out from inside his cubicle. There is a silent explosion of tension as their eyes meet. Wolf remains ignorant of this as he begins introductions. “Matthew Molloy, I’d like you to mee—”

  Matthew finishes the sentence for Wolf. “Stephen Chatters!”

  Wolf blinks, a little confused.

  Stephanie straightens her back. Her initial reaction had caused her to shrink and drown inside a whirlpool of guilt and desire. But if there is one thing she always finds inner strength for, it is insisting others accept her for her true gender. “You know my name, Matty. It is Stephanie.”

  Matthew’s eyes flare in rage. His voice rises to a shout. “I’m not calling you Stephie or Stephanie or any other bullshit name like that! I know you for who you are, so don’t try playing your pretending games with me.”

  Tears burgeon, and though Stephanie begins to shake, she refuses to back down. “I am a woman. I’ve always been one. I didn’t understand that when we were inmates at—”

  Matthew pushes his face right up against Stephanie’s. “I was an inmate—you were the camp warden’s little pet!” The spit that flies from his voice into Stephanie’s face accents Matthew’s disgust—and hatred. She quickly backs up and trips back into the chair Wolf had offered her. Glaring Wolf’s way with his index finger pointed at Stephanie, Matthew screams, “He is not a she. He is a he!” Turning now to stop any defensive remark from Stephanie, Matthew yells in her face, “I know you’re a man because you made me suck on it, and you raped me with it, so don’t even try to pretend otherwise.” Turning now to Wolf, Matthew declares, “I will not work with this man ever! Hire him and I quit! I don’t give a shit if I have to go back to the piers. As Hadrian is my witness, I’d rather beg in the streets than ever work with IT!” On that note, Matthew storms through the door, slamming it behind him before pounding down the outer stairs to the dock.

  Wolf stands amazed. This is not what he had been expecting, though he suddenly realizes why he doesn’t feel the usual discomfort around Stephanie. The male body she was born into does not give off the same pheromones as a female body. Reeducation focuses on pheromones as much as it does image. When Wolf was in the Midwest Military Reeducation camp, he had undergone treatment where he would be hit with electric shock therapy even without a woman present. Female pheromones that specifically indicated a woman’s body was ready for mating would be sprayed in the room, and when his body reacted, he suffered the extreme pain of electric shock therapy. The pheromones are clearly a lot stronger than the physical appearance because Stephanie is really very beautiful and sexually attractive. This is when it dawns on Wolf that, although she identifies as female, Ms. Chatters has yet to undergo physical transformation.

  Watching Ms. Chatters crying, slumped over in her chair, clearly devastated by her encounter with Matthew, Wolf crosses over to bend on one knee in an attempt to comfort her. Being virtual strangers, Wolf only reaches for her hand to hold. Too much physical contact might make them both uncomfortable. He tries to soothe her with calming hushes, but Stephanie continues to sob and shake. “Please, Ms. Chatters,” Wolf says, desperate to defuse this situation, “allow me to apologize for Matt.” Wolf cringes slightly after saying this, wondering whether Matthew really owes her an apology. Matthew opened up to Wolf when they first met, having shared all the horrors he had endured at this woman’s hands when Ms. Chatters was still identifying as male. Still, the situation is delicate, so he needs to handle it carefully.

  Stephanie sobs louder when Wolf apologizes for Matthew. Then she states, “It’s not Matty’s fault. He’s right. What I did to him in that place is unforgivable. I’m the one who needs to apologize.” At this point, she looks bleary-eyed, her once impeccable makeup now streaming in rivulets down her face. “But he will never give me that chance, now, will he?”

  Wolf shrugs his shoulders as if unsure, but he knows the answer as surely as Ms. Chatters. Matthew Molloy will never allow Stephanie the opportunity to repent and, even if he does and she apologizes with all her heart, he will refuse to forgive. “Matt’s pretty bitter, Ms. Chatters. I don’t think waiting around to try to apologize is a good idea.”

  “No, I know.” Now looking desperate, she begs, “But you’ll tell him for me, won’t you.”

  “Of course,” Wolf agrees readily. “I’ll tell him you’re sorry. I’ll tell him anything you ask.” Wolf pauses, wondering how to broach what are the most worrisome and pressing subjects on his mind. Will Ms. Chatters be pursuing her application, and will she be planning to press charges of abuse against his young friend?

  Stephanie seems able to read Wolf’s mind. “You set your mind at ease, Mr. Gaidosch. I couldn’t work anymore with Matty than he can work with me.”

  Wolf’s sigh of relief is audible. “Do you plan to press charges against him for what he said about you—your not being female?”

  Stephanie opens the latch to her purse, perfectly matched to the paisley dress she is wearing, and retrieves a small flowered handkerchief. After wiping her eyes and dabbing her nose, she removes her compact and attempts to clean up a little of her makeup. For a moment, she stares at her reflection in the compact lid. After snapping it shut and returning it to her purse, she shakes her head. “No, Mr. Gaidosch. What Matty said was wrong; he clearly doesn’t understand what it means to be transgender—”

  “Maybe he’s never heard of gender dysphoria.”

  “Maybe, but like you said, he is bitter. And—” For a moment Stephanie has to fight back more sobs. “And,” she begins again, after struggling to regain composure, “I was cruel. I believed everything Gideon Weller told us. I thought it was all for the best. Oh, Mr. Gaidosch. I was horrible.” Stephanie cannot help but gasp at the pang of self-recrimination. “I—I understand why he hates me.”

  Again, Wolf breathes a sigh of relief. The last thing he wants is to have to fire Matthew—not after everything the young man has done for him. “Thank you, Ms. Chatters. Thank you.”

  Stephanie now stands and walks quickly to the door. Before pulling it open, she turns briefly to remind Wolf of her request. “You will remember, won’t you, to apologize to him for me. At least try to make him understand.” Her voice trails off as she knows what she is asking for is hopeless, but Wolf reassures her that he will do his very best. “Thank you,” she mutters as she reaches for the doorknob and then quickly exits.

  *****

  Salve!

  Armageddon Is Upon Us!

  HNN—Danny Duggin Reporting

  Hadrian, I must warn you. A dangerous time is approaching. The threat no longer lies solely beyond our walls. There are those amongst us who wish to demolish the very cornerstones that make our country great. In just three days, Hadrian’s governing council will vote to legalize opposite sex marriage, thereby allowing these reprobates of our society to procreate at will. Soon our good country’s population will swell, breaking down our border walls and forcing decent homosexual citizens to mix with the outside world, a world rife with the sins of heterosexuality, overpopulation, and abuse of our beautiful planet. What little beauty that remains here inside our walls is now at risk of utter destruction. Do not allow heterosexuals back inside our walls, for, Hadrian, we will rue the day of their acquisition of power. Unless we are vigilant, they will utterly destroy us and our small clean c
orner of the planet.

  God has abandoned heterosexuals, and so must we! Their lascivious ways, excessive copulation, and procreation are both sinful and damaging—damaging to the planet and to the human psyche. The heterosexual barbarians used God’s name to perpetuate violence and hate. How many of our homosexual brethren suffered brutally under the “holier than thou” heterosexual supremacy! Our history books are riddled with documentation of men, women, and, yes, even children brutally murdered in God’s name until finally God’s voice thundered from above, demanding, “Enough!” In God’s infinite wisdom, the founding families were delivered unto the land—the land of plenty—a land still virginal and untainted by the polluting hands of the heterosexual. Laws forbidding the existence of heterosexuals inside our walls were created for a reason. We live in God’s light. We live in love and peace and prosperity, all because we heeded God’s warning to banish the heterosexual from our sight—nay, not just our sight but, ultimately, from the entire planet. We must abide by God’s will and eradicate heterosexuals from Hadrian’s soil or God will rain justice down upon us—we too will suffer and starve and die by breeding ourselves into extinction! God has spoken! Give no sway to the heterosexual barbarians. Allow them no quarter. Round them up and dispose of them before their heinous ways contaminate the pure life of God’s chosen people, the homosexual. For God knows we are the only ones dedicated to preserving the planet and ensuring the survival of the human species.

  Vale!

  Tara’s Coming Out Party

  It’s Friday night. Tara wrote her last final this afternoon so she is longing to celebrate. Cantara has just refused her offer of cruising and carousing the bars because she still has one major final to go.