Hadrian's Rage

by Patricia-Marie Budd

  “How lovely.”

  Their walk continues on in much the same vein with a warm spring breeze carrying the sweet scent of the freshwater lake to their nostrils and the soft spring sun shining down on them until they come at last to the little tea and coffee house Wolf has promised Stephanie. It is exactly one tram station away from the interpretive center, so after their meal, they will simply catch the train back to their respective stops.

  The International Tea and Coffee House (named to commemorate Jane Addams’s role as a world-renowned feminist whose work stretched across the globe to help women and the unfortunate) overlooks Addams Lake. The teahouse is nestled in a small alcove of poplar and birch with the front entrance open towards the lake. There is no sign of the mighty greenhouses the park purports to have in order to grow the coffee, cocoa, and tea plants. “Just as long as they serve the coffee they promise in the brochure,” is Stephanie’s response when Wolf notes this curious omission. “Perhaps they keep the greenhouse farther off so it doesn’t ruin the ambiance of a rustic cabin on the lakefront.” Wolf nods in agreement since Stephanie’s rationale makes sense.

  The interior is as rustic as the exterior. The International Tea and Coffee House was a log cabin recreated in the style of the eighteenth century. An old Hudson Bay blanket decorates one wall while copies of Inuit wood and stone sculptures for sale are lined up on a series of shelves against the other. Wolf places one hand on Stephanie’s waist and leads her to the table in the corner farthest from the door. After sitting, Wolf waves to the waiter and asks him for the address of the link to the menu and drink options. The young man eyes Wolf and Stephanie circumspectly before crossing over. “All right then,” he exclaims as he blinks up the image of a traditional waiter’s notepad. Sighing now, he looks first at Wolf, then at Stephanie. “Which one of you is trans?”

  Stephanie places her face in her hands. Wolf blinks, taken aback by this sudden bizarre inquiry. “Excuse me? What business is it of yours?”

  Now holding a holographic pencil in his hand, the waiter motions to the room around them, “This is my business.”

  “So?” Wolf still cannot understand why this person is asking about their gender expression.

  “There is no, ‘So’ about it,” the young man says testily. “This is my business, and I don’t serve strais here. So you were either both born with a willy or both born without one. Either way, I don’t care, but if you are, as you so clearly appear to be, of the opposite sex, we’ll have nothing to do with you and you can walk your sick strai bodies out of my establishment.”

  Wolf lowers his head; that familiar metallic taste fills his mouth, urging him to spit. Stephanie leans across the table and touches Wolf’s hand. Wolf looks up, noting the tears forming in her eyes. Their hands clasp. The waiter snorts in derision. Stephanie says, “Wolf, I’ll—”

  “No, Stephanie.” Wolf cuts her off before she can announce her transwoman status. “It’s none of this bastard’s business. Let’s go.”

  The waiter steps back and points towards the door, yet remains firmly in their way so Wolf and Stephanie have to circumnavigate around him. He continues to weave back in front of them so he can fully berate them with his tirade. “That’s right; you go. Get your strai rat bodies outta here! Hadrian may have made being you legal, but that doesn’t make your presence acceptable to honest citizens like me. Breeders are a disgrace to this planet. Overpopulating, breeding like rats, and then swarming all over each other, committing obscene acts of cannibalism. You people are disgusting. And the pollution! What you’ve done to this planet! That’s right, you go. You just march right on out of here. The very sight of you makes me sick. You know what bugs me the most about you people? That two decent Hadrian citizens are probably going to be exiled for killing the likes of you. Why, they were just doing what the law should do. If I had my way, we’d go back to exiling the lot of you or offering you henbane to choke on. In fact, I’d like to see a real reform to that law; we should take out exile as an option altogether. Why should we let people like you live so you can further spread your contagion around the planet! That’s right; get out! Get Out! GET OUT!”

  Once outside, Wolf embraces Stephanie, knowing how hurt she is by this whole ordeal. The owner of this fine establishment, seeing their public display of affection, rushes out screaming. “Get away from here now. Don’t you do that sick strai stuff in front of my teahouse; you’ll scare away potential customers. Nobody wants to see you people touching like that.”

  Before walking towards the tram station, Wolf turns and flips the man off, eliciting another vicious tirade, including the ironic comment, “Oh, sure, aren’t you mature?”

  *****

  The tram ride home is quiet. Sitting across from them, two young women are canoodling. To their right, two men are hanging on to one of the poles, swinging around and occasionally kissing one another. Stephanie and Wolf sit apart with an empty seat between them, neither willing to risk eye contact. They don’t even say goodbye when Stephanie gets off at her station.

  *****

  29 http://www.nunavuttourism.com/about-

  nunavut/people-of-nunavut

  Salve!

  To Serve or Not to Serve?

  HNN—Danny Duggin Reporting

  Should conscious-minded businesses be forced by law to serve heterosexual citizens? That is the question on many of Hadrian’s citizens’ and entrepreneurs’ minds these days. Just last Sunday, an allegedly heterosexual couple was denied service at The International Tea and Coffee House, beautifully situated in an alcove of birch and pine overlooking the picturesque Addams Lake in the Jane Addams Nature Park on the northeast border of Hadrian. This scenic park has one of Hadrian’s finest campsites and cabins for rent. You should seriously consider taking your next spring, summer, or fall vacation up there, but back to our story. According to Ashur M’Bala, co-owner and headwaiter at The International Tea and Coffee House, the couple in question was far too brazen in their public display of affection. He wanted assurances that they were not the heterosexual couple they clearly appeared to be. Look now to the right screen and you can watch my interview with him.

  *****

  “Mr. M’Bala, I understand you asked a heterosexual couple to leave your business the other day. Would you mind explaining why you refused them service?”

  “I have no intention of encouraging strai behavior in my establishment. I believe fully in the cornerstones our country was founded on, especially the one that rejects heterosexuality. Our good country was founded on the principle that overpopulation is bad. That hasn’t changed. The world out there is still over twenty billion. Heterosexuals know no boundaries when it comes to having sex. They continue to reproduce at a terrifying rate.”

  “That is very true, Mr. M’Bala. You are so right. Now, you mentioned earlier that when the couple first came into your establishment, you had wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Could you please explain what you mean?”

  “I am aware that some of our transgendered citizens transition so successfully that you cannot identify them for their real gender. So, instead of simply assuming these two were strai, I first asked if one of them was in fact trans. When they refused to answer, I asked them to leave.”

  “That was very generous of you. Not as many citizens are as accepting of our transgendered citizens. And really, transi bros and sisses, you need to make sure your fellow citizens know what your real sex is so we don’t mistake you for strais. That’s your responsibility. So, Mr. M’Bala, what happened next?”

  “Well, they left, but as soon as they were out the door, they started making out like two horny little strais. It was sickening. So I told them to take their disgusting PDA someplace else.”

  “For my viewers who may not be aware, PDA is the acronym for Public Display of Affection.”

  “And that it was. So I told ’em, their kissing and groping is going to frighten away decent customers.”

  “And it would have. No one wants to watc
h that sort of thing. Yes, okay, you heterosexuals, it is now legal, and no one is going to exile you anymore—unless you have that “special” strai sex—that act is so disgusting, why would anyone want to overpopulate—enough of that. I don’t even want to think about it. Don’t go showing off. We don’t need to know you’re straight. Have some common sense and a little common decency, please.

  “So, tell me Mr. M’Bala, were you aware this couple is really a gay couple and that the girl is in fact a boy, or transwoman as they like to call themselves?”

  “No, I didn’t. I don’t understand why he didn’t say anything about being trans then. Really, how stupid.”

  “Indeed. Clearly, they are strai sympathizers and foolishly identify themselves in that way. Listen, ‘transyman’ and ‘transygirl,’ and also your supposedly ‘opposite sex partner,’ you need to acknowledge your real gender in our community. Be transy all you like, date a transy all you want, but if you’re a gay couple, you’re a gay couple. And if you go around letting people think you’re straight, well, you’re just setting yourselves up.”

  *****

  And there you have it, folks. My advice to our transgendered citizens needs to be taken into consideration. Do not align yourself with the breeders of this world. Any decent business in this country is going to deny you service if you appear to be heterosexual and refuse to prove otherwise. There are no laws protecting strais, and a good business will turn any potential strai customers away.30 Hadrian’s entrepreneurs are not in the business of promoting procreation and population explosion. Rather than serve heterosexuals, we need all our businesses to turn them away, sending a very strong message that it is not okay to choose to be strai!

  Vale!

  30 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/07/

  marc-benioff-indiana_n_7017032.html

  Frank’s Evaluation

  Fourth Year Evaluation—Frank Hunter

  (Private) {penal restriction}

  Guillaume de la Chappelle, Colonel-HDF Training/Logistics

  Dated this day, September 3, 21__.

  Private Frank Hunter has done some remarkable work in the HDF Training Program. Had he not been restricted to “penal status,” Private Hunter would have surpassed the rank of lieutenant by now.

  Facts and Observations as follows:

  -----Scoring first in the annual Sniper Competition for a second time, and with a score of 997/1000. This score is an amalgamate scoring in three areas: pistol competition, standard issue rifle/target competition, and sniper weapon competition.

  -----His efforts in promoting team cohesion and enhancing each team member’s abilities in his specific areas says much about his leadership ability and potential. Though he is not “officer rank” (though it is this colonel’s opinion he should be), Private Hunter shows an amazing ability to step aside when needed, and at the same time, he will not back down to those who do have the rank.

  -----As the present chief evaluation/promotion board officer for this period, I was able to gather reports from HDF Training Center, medical records (psychiatric), and physical training team leaders, and a listing of all sources accessed through the Hadrian Archival Records. Private Hunter’s ability to garner and process past enemy actions against Hadrian, collate them, and then initiate and practice new defense scenarios bodes well for Hadrian’s future defense. With my encouragement, Private Hunter is designing a series of war games to use as training scenarios for new recruits, though he feels all field soldiers should be required to take this training too, for, as he puts it, “We have all become too complacent, believing we can repel any possible enemy attack. Everyone anticipates victory at every turn, and that is precisely when defeat is bound to happen.” I approve of Frank Hunter’s proposal for upcoming Hadrian War Games. It is my recommendation that General Birtwistle agree to Private Hunter’s proposal and allow the private to be in command of the games.

  -----Private Hunter has earned the highest marks in class instruction, including Tactical Planning/Defense, Strategic Planning/Defense, and National Defense Instruction. These high marks and course evaluations have earned him specific considerations with the Midwestern Gate Force commanded by General Egbert William Birtwistle.

  -----Lastly, Private Hunter is still restricted by his tactile tattoo restraint. If his restraint is never to be removed, at least heed my recommendation to disengage it during the War Games. Private Hunter deserves to be the one to head these games.

  Hadrian’s Real News

  Hadrian’s Wall

  HRN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting

  “As you all know, the original Hadrian’s Wall—named for the Roman emperor who ordered it constructed, and for whom our country is also named—was built across northern England in a desperate attempt to keep the northern barbarians from crossing over and attacking the Roman occupational army. A similar reasoning was used for the construction of our country’s Wall. It acts as a barrier between our country and the outside world. And according to our military and all-known propaganda, heterosexual barbarians overpopulate that world. Well, it turns out a third wall is about to be erected today.

  “As you can see, I’m standing in front of the Atheist Think Tank. Inside, members are preparing for the farewell ceremony being held in honor of Tara May Fowler, the young heterosexual woman who was brutally murdered and raped. As you can see, many of her friends and allies to the straight community have gathered to protect her family members and closest friends from being harassed as they enter the Atheists’ Guild.

  “To my left, you can see the centurions of Hadrian’s army, better known to us as Hadrian’s Conservative Right. They are here, as promised, to picket the gathering in honor of Tara Fowler. Their signs scream hate with sayings like “Go Away, Mr. Strai” and “Die, Breeder, Die.” One sign even demands Hadrian’s government bring back expulsion of all straight individuals. Adjacent to all this hate, we have Augustus Uni’s GSA setting up its version of Hadrian’s Wall.

  “Mr. Stuttgart, may I ask a few questions of you while you work?”

  “Oh, ahh, hi. Yes. Please just give me a moment to get strapped in.”

  “What Mr. Stuttgart is referring to are two back straps attached to wooden poles. There are two poles per person along which has been sewn red, flowing fabric with the design of bricks handpainted on them. Once Mr. Stuttgart and all the others are strapped in, we will watch the unfolding of Hadrian’s Wall. And there it goes—the opening. This is truly impressive. Six persons wide on each side with a good two feet between each person, this wall effectively stretches the full length of the pathway leading from the sidewalk to the building doors.

  “You look fully secure now, Mr. Stuttgart. May I ask you a few questions about this wall that you and Tara Fowler’s friends have just erected? Or, rather, I should say opened wide.”

  “Of course. As you know, Tara Fowler was a member of our Augustus Uni GSA. She was our secretary, in fact.”

  “And you, sir, are its president, correct?”

  “Yes, I am the founder of our little union and was duly elected president.”

  “Would you please explain the purpose of your representation of Hadrian’s Wall to our viewers.”

  “Of course. Hadrian’s Wall, the original built during the Roman occupation of England, was designed to protect the Romans from incursion by the northern barbarians, as they called them. Our country’s Wall was designed for similar reasons. It is believed that we are in constant jeopardy of raids by outsiders. These outsiders, the majority of our citizens believe, are heterosexual barbarians bent on destroying our peaceful culture and clearly established homonormative society. It is not the heterosexuals we need fear from the outside world, only the uncompromising militants who hate us. Sadly, that also includes the fanatics who live here in Hadrian amongst us. These are the haters of our world—the extremists who cling to their beliefs so tightly they are willing to kill anyone who thinks or believes differently. This is true whether the society is heteronormative or homonorma
tive, founded on religious principles or secular ones. It will always be the haters from without and within whom we will need to defend ourselves against.”

  “Interesting. But why this wall, here, now? What does it represent for you, the family and friends of Tara Fowler?”

  “Hadrian’s Wall was designed to shield all within from the damaging practices of haters. We erect this symbolic Wall to shut out the haters who want so very much to cause pain to Tara’s family and friends. In a few moments, two bubbles will arrive with Tara’s mothers, her little brother, and the Raboud family, the Fowlers’ closest friends. We have chosen to protect them from the hate surrounding this place with our own version of Hadrian’s Wall.”

  “That is a beautiful gesture, Mr. Stuttgart, but even though you block out the sight of these people, how do you hope to block the sounds of their hate-filled chants?”

  “When the Fowlers and Rabouds exit their bubbles and walk towards the Think Tank, we plan to sing ‘Amazing Grace’ so the sounds they hear will be ones of love and not hate.”

  “‘Amazing Grace’? Isn’t that a Christian hymn? I thought the Fowlers were atheists. This is the Atheist Think Tank. Why a Christian song, Mr. Stuttgart?”

  “Being an atheist does not mean being closed minded. The lyrics of this particular hymn speak of one who was dejected and lost but found again. That reflects Tara, a young girl who struggled with her sexual identity for many years until she finally found the courage and strength to be who she truly is—was, before she was brutally murdered.”

  “And what will happen after the farewell ceremony? The centurions announced their intention to remain outside this building during the ceremony and continue their chants and demonstrations when it is over.”