by Marien Dore
I landed on him and in the safety of his grasp. Immediately, though, I was worried. It was like I gave all the pain I was about to endure to him. I couldn’t imagine how much badly he hurt now, though; he landed on his back – for the second time tonight!
I lifted my head in worry and took in his face. His face reflected the pain that the weight of my body brought him. He looked ready to either scream or cry. His breaths came rapidly as did mine but that look on his face, the one saying he was obviously hurt, changed when his dazed eyes met mine.
His breath was hot against me, and I noticed just how close we were. I don’t think he realized what he did, but his hand grazed and rested on my bare side. It sent my heart skating in circles despite that insane fall. The warmth of him beneath me made the hairs on my arms stand on end. Wonder lit his features, and he stared at me — stared like he would in class. Kind of like he did when I woke him this morning.
“Janice…” he wheezed.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, remembering now wasn’t the time for this. Or anytime, actually. Taking him in, his face slowly conjured up the pain he somehow seemed to push out of his head before and he groaned.
“Please. Get off. You’re pressed against an area I don’t want any more damage to come to,” he said in a shaky voice, indicating his little ‘friend.’
When I rolled off of him and was beside him, I felt an unexpected feeling, other than pain. I felt a loss of warmth as if I was attached to him that moment and would always want to be connected to him. He grunted when I was off, and he didn’t maybe couldn’t move an inch. I was sore and aching from the fall. I considered for a second that he breaking my fall was just as bad as the actual ground seeing that he had a tight and hard enough build. But he was the one in real pain now.
I looked over to him and spoke in a concerned voice. “I’m hoping this changed your mind about resting.”
He laughed through the pain. “Yeah, I changed my mind. But before we rest, we need the coconuts.” He moved a little and grunted.
“Do you think you can move? Stand? Walk?”
He nodded but didn’t move. I got to my feet and spotted most of what was my shirt off in the grass, where it landed when it was ripped by the tree. I returned to him and took in the scraps from when he attempted to climb it. I lightly wiped the blood from his chest and stomach. When I got to his legs, I noticed that his shorts were in perfect condition compared to my clothes. A few cuts but that was all. He said nothing during it all and only stared up at me.
“Why is it that my shirt is destroyed when your pants aren’t?” I asked in a lighter voice, hoping to make him feel better somehow.
“Just because it’s not ripped doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It’s quite sensitive.”
I fought the urge to laugh and put on a confused face. “What are you talking about?”
Even though it was dark, I could see through the moonlight that he blushed bright red. “Just a little pain wouldn’t result in a rip of my clothes.”
“So you’re saying your little friend is extra sensitive?”
He looked away, embarrassed at my words and my nickname for it. I couldn’t take it and was laughing harder than I have in a long time.
He interrupted me. “Can you just get the coconuts please?”
I raised my eyebrow. “You want to move onto your coconuts now, do you?” I laughed. I saw his face break slightly, and he smiled shyly over his still there embarrassment.
“I think you know what I mean. I am starving and so are you.”
I knelt next to him, putting his arm around my shoulder and helping him stand. I was grateful he could support most of himself when he was up. He walked stiffly in circles for a few minutes before he stopped wincing and could walk comfortably. I tore the rest of my shirt off and used it to wipe away the small amount of blood on my stomach too. I was left in just my bra now and the belt that was helping the cut on my back.
I collected the coconuts and sat against the tree, waiting for him as he continued walking back and forth, testing his back. I observed one of the coconuts and pressed it against my palm. I had no idea how this would satisfy our stomachs, but we were about to find out.
He stretched his arms, making his back arch, and a loud crack ran to my ears over the ocean waves. Mr. Rush sighed in relief. He at least felt a little better by the time he strolled over and sat against the tree with me, the coconuts resting in the tall grass in front of us. We stared, not sure what to do.
Finally, he spoke up. “You should grab two of those large leafs.”
I glared at him in the darkness, the cold starting to crawl back through my body. “And why can’t you get them?” I knew he could hear the unhappy tone in my voice.
He raised an eyebrow at me, looking at me as if I crossed a line. I felt satisfied to have caught him off guard. “Um, I just fell from a tree and hit the ground only to have you fall on me,” he said.
“I didn’t fall on you. You decided to catch me, and are you saying I’m overweight? I wouldn’t be talking about the size after what you just said a few minutes ago!”
“Jesus, I said no such thing of you being overweight. I’m just saying I am a little sore so could you be the one to get your lazy ass up. Stop being such an immature brat,” he snapped at me.
His words shocked me but made me realize what I just said to him. I was being a bitch, and I didn’t even realize— Oh, shit! My period. It made me blink, taking a deep breath in at realizing what it was. I am prepared, though, at least. Being on an island has made it clear that you have a lot of thinking time. I thought about what I would have to do when that came and my answer: the place was covered in moss.
I took a deep breath, ashamed for my outburst. “I’m sorry about that. I really didn’t mean to lash out. I am very grateful you caught me just in time too. That would have been ugly.” I got to my feet, uncomfortable for apologizing.
He appeared amused. “Period, right?”
“You know, it’s very rare that it affects my mood.” I walked away, blushing. I wasn’t mad at what he just said because I deserved it. Not to mention it was true; I was going to have to find moss.
I returned with the leaves he asked for, still having no idea what his plan was. I found out after he stood up carefully and led me down to the beach, carrying one of the coconuts and both leaves. We stopped near the edge of the water by a big rock in the sand. We set the coconuts down as well as the leaves next to the rock before we sat down in the sand too. My jaw trembled from the cold, making my teeth chatter. It was a lot colder now that we were closer to the water.
Mr. Rush took a coconut in one hand and instructed me to press the one leaf flat up against the rock. As he explained it, it sounded like a good idea. That’s why when he asked me to do the next thing, I curled the ends of the leaf up so it was shaped like a bowl, one side pressed against the rock. He held the coconut inside the bowl and smashed it against the side of the rock. The green soft shell broke open to its watery core. It dripped into the leafy bowl I was supporting for a long moment. There was a lot of water in it. It made me want to take the leaf bowl I was holding together and run.
Luckily, the moon was upon us so we could see what we were doing perfectly. He delicately set the now empty shell of it down on the other leaf so the sand didn’t touch it. Then he looked up at me from where he was kneeling across from me, a very satisfied smile on his face. “We better appreciate this. We won’t always get this lucky. That’s why we should only have one tonight. Save the four for tomorrow or later.”
As tempting as it would be to finish off all five, I knew he was right, and that was the smart thing to do. So after admiring it like losers, Mr. Rush ended up carefully taking the leaf bowl from me and inching closer. I sat up slightly from where I was sitting as he held the bowl under my chin, a sign for me to drink. I didn’t waste another second.
I dipped my head and sipped the warm liquid. I swear it was the best thing that I have ever swallowed. It was silk flo
ating down my throat, erasing the awful burning sensation at the back of my mouth. It was water feeding the dry, cracked dirt. It was the melting of snow under the sun. And it was nothing like the dew on the grass, making us frustrated because there wasn’t enough.
Mr. Rush was in the same shape as me, and I was going to take a lot of satisfaction seeing him get the same relief I just did. Taking in his dry mouth and wanting eyes… I lifted my mouth from the coconut water. He knew that was a sign it was his turn.
He raised the curled leaf up to his dry lips and dipped his head into the bowl. His face was buried, and it gave me a perfect visual of his hair. It was greasy, and I’m sure full of sand or dirt. Yet, that made him even better. Before we got stranded, he was too neat, too perfect, too much. Now, he was licking the bowl clean, desperate for more. It was then that I saw just how badly he longed for it, just as much as me.
He lifted his head, pulling back to show his skin was wet around his lips. It was a nice sight and even more so when he smiled kindly at me. He was happy for the both of us and knew that we didn’t need to worry as much now.
We discarded the empty curled up leaf and put our focus on the shell that had a hole in it from where we broke it. I ended up grabbing it when we stood up and headed back to the trees where it wasn’t as windy and cold. He sat down against the same tree as we had earlier. The man gestured for me to sit beside him and when I did, he took the soft shell from me and tore it open more. To the point where it was in smaller pieces.
At the sight of it, our stomachs went ballistic, and we jumped in, each taking a piece and holding it to our mouths. We could taste the water still there but even better was actually being able to eat something. We ate the white flesh hugging the inside of the shell. With how many pieces he broke it into, I was able to scrape it off with my teeth. Raw hunger took me over after so long without food.
“What you did to get the coconuts was amazing,” he said after we both weren’t in need to shove it all in at once.
“You mean getting above it? I felt stupid because I couldn’t get the coconuts down from being just underneath them.”
“That was brave. What I meant though was that it was amazing that you did it without falling. I felt my body shut down with exhaustion, and that’s why I fell. We were tired, starving, thirsty, and dead on our feet. We were getting sick. Yet, you made it. You are strong and amazing.”
I wasn’t very comfortable with compliments since I really never felt worthy of any praise, but he was just being very nice, and I appreciated that. “Well… thanks, I guess,” I said awkwardly.
We finished eating the flesh from the coconut, our stomachs at ease. He looked thoughtful and after finishing off his last piece, he asked, “You don’t get compliments often do you? Or ever show your thanks?”
He was spot on, and I had no idea how. Had he just read my mind? It probably had to do with me being easy to read. I hesitated for too long following his words. He knew they were true. “I give my thanks whenever someone deserves it. I don’t thank many people though because there aren’t many that do much for me. Same with compliments. It always sounds foreign.”
“That may be one of the most depressing things that I’ve ever heard,” he whispered. I’m sure there was something worse if he knew everything else. I snorted, and a harsh smile crossed my lips unintentionally.
“Yet you wanted all the details of my life. Now I know you couldn’t handle it if that’s what’s getting to you.” I didn’t think about my words before they were out. I was feeling more immature each day and less smart.
“You’re telling me things are worse than I could imagine? Than what you have already told me?” he asked.
“No. They were worse. My life back there is gone, and I don’t see the need to revisit memories I would rather avoid. It’s all irrelevant anyway,” I said, and before I could blurt out something else, I put the last of my pieces to my mouth and peeled the deliciousness off.
He didn’t say anything else by the time we finished. I jumped at the subject that seemed to be crossing my mind more and more. “So… we can stop and rest for the remainder of the night, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, we are safe from starvation and thirst for now. But God,” he said, shaking slightly. “We should move back further in the woods where it isn’t as windy and cold.”
“Remember that fire you promised quite a while ago?” I asked.
He gave me an ‘are you kidding me’ look. “Yeah. Then you took off. Plus, it’s too windy, and the sun should be up soon enough. We will be fine.”
I followed behind Mr. Rush closely until we were covered by the trees. It helped, just not as much as I would have liked. It was so freaking cold! Colder than any other night. That seemed to be a pattern. As the nights come, so does an even colder temperature.
The outline of his figure finally stopped ahead of me, and he guided me more to the right, then straight back. A few steps later landed us against another big tree. After setting our four last pieces of heaven on the ground, I slid down the huge trunk until I reached the ground. I folded myself between many of the roots that peeked out from the ground. Mr. Rush slid down next to me, closer than I expected.
His skin remained warm, and it was the best thing I have felt in a while. Well, not including finding coconuts. But as my head rested on the harsh forest floor, it was perfect. I found myself relaxed from its effect. I didn’t know how tired I really was until then because that was when my eyelids started to get heavy. Without giving myself permission, I moved closer to him; my right cheek no longer felt the cold as I pressed it against his arm.
It was wonderful, just to feel that heat in the middle of this weather. What made me blush was that I now remembered that this was my teacher. I needed to be careful around him – about having feelings for him. When he didn’t instantly move away, I knew he was enjoying the warmth too. I didn’t dare move any closer, though.
I started to drift away when his voice reached me in a small whisper. “Good night, Janice.”
I tensed. It wasn’t just his words; really, that had nothing to do with my heart skipping a beat. It was the way he delivered it. That voice was beautiful. So quiet and calming, so rich and… affectionate? Maybe? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that his gentle and caring words were nice enough to pull me into sleep after I whispered goodnight to him back.
Chapter 10
Considering how late we went to sleep, I wasn’t surprised to see the sun high in the afternoon sky when I woke. I also wasn’t surprised when I felt the sweat already collecting at my back and making me uncomfortable. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the sun. I turned my head to see that Mr. Rush and I were laying away from each other. Though slightly disappointing, how else were we suppose to subconsciously act when the sun beat down on us?
I sat up and stretched. Unlike last night, I was happy to be shirtless and in just a bra. It was a slight help, but I was still very hot. I ended up walking out to the ocean from where we were sleeping since it wasn’t far away. I felt the cool water against my toes and stepped in until it was up to my kneecaps. At that point, I stopped and cupped my hands together, filling my palms with the salty water. After splashing it over myself, I ran my wet hands through my gross hair until it became damp.
I straightened myself afterward and looked out. The waves curled over as they came closer, curving and turning white at its crest. The sound would have been relaxing; it was to an extent. However as minutes passed and it hit my ears more, it also hit my chest in a swirl of emotions. It was turning into a teasing reminder that that sound would always be surrounding us, in warning and recognition. Leaving this place was impossible and hopeless.
As I looked across, it finally hit home. After days of blocking it out… I was facing it now.
The sight before me held a beautiful and endless blue that seemed so powerful. With no end and no hope, it would ever end. This ocean — this place — was too big for us to beat. It was so cruel despite the beau
ty of it all. I sank into the realization that we will never leave this place, which was fine with me and my life. But my father and brother would never pay since I was the only one who knew they killed my mom. I was planning on one day proving that they were guilty of it because my mom deserved that justice. She was always there for me, and I owed that to her.
Then there was the other tragedy of it: Mr. Rush would never have the life he deserved. He deserved his future wife and children. He deserved to have a chance to pick what he would want to do for the rest of his life. Now I knew that would not happen. For some reason, Mr. Rush not living his life and dying here killed me as much, if not more, as the thought of my dad and brother going unpunished.
That last thought led to what I have been trying to avoid this whole time. It wasn’t just me, my family, Mr. Rush, and his future that changed after the crash. Every single person that was on that plane… their lives actually ended. Their families’ lives are what changed. Though it was hard knowing that we were stuck here, it was a blessing compared to actually losing our lives. I grew up with some of those kids. Grew up and went to school with many of them. Not just students lost their lives, the pilots, flight attendants, chaperones, and other teachers. Every single one of those people had lives, unique to them and their personality. Each of them had family and friends that loved them. Each of them had futures from which they were taken from.
I don’t know how long I stared at the suffocating blue. I realized it must have been for a while. When I noticed there were tears streaming from my eyes, I realized that they had gone cold by now. This world was so cruel and beautiful. Cruel and beautiful. That seemed to be something that was crossing my mind more and more.
I turned around and headed back up the beach. When I got back, I took in Mr. Rush, who was now awake. He sat up from where he rested and looked around until his eyes fell on me. He gave me a small smile that instantly dropped as I came closer. “What’s wrong?”