by Marien Dore
I thought for a minute about what to say. Then I settled on acting as if I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Nothing. Why?”
His face darkened as he stared into my eyes. That gaze penetrated my confusion at his question. “There is no reason to hide things from me now,” he stated simply.
I snickered. “Why is that?”
“Because I know you believe we are never leaving this place despite the cling of faith we tried to hold onto. You think that if they didn’t find us by now, they might not ever find us. Maybe you’re right, so why keep hiding it if you think there is no returning to it?”
No flipping way. I wasn’t sure why but I couldn’t answer him and those eyes. Instead, I turned and swiftly walked away. I strode back out to the beach, and my feet didn’t stop when I hit the hot sand. I started walking in the direction we did yesterday. He wasn’t going to have that just yet, though.
I heard him race up behind me, and he clasped my arm, stopping me. I sighed, turning around and staring up at him. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. His eyebrows were lowered, and his gaze showed me deep concern until he finally spoke.
“Why won’t you let me in? Why can’t you tell me?”
This was more than just telling him about what bothered me earlier. This was about everything I was hiding in general. I couldn’t tell him about what happened back home or how I was feeling knowing he was stuck here. I understood his words were right and that it was unlikely we were leaving this place. But I couldn’t get any closer to this guy than I already was. It was wrong to feel things for him, a man who gave his heart to someone else. Even if he doesn’t see her again, it was unhealthy to want him. He is much older, and the bottom line is that he wouldn’t want me. If we are stuck here forever, I will hurt more if my feelings grew and he didn’t feel the same.
The silence between us became uncomfortable. I had to say something. “It’s irrelevant, my problems. You’re nice and kind and understanding… Trust me though when I say it’s better if you didn’t know. I know you care,” I said, and it made my chest hurt because I saw it was true. What I was about to say would hurt even more. “It really doesn’t matter, though. You have no business being involved in my life.” I hated those words that I said and hated that I wanted the complete opposite. But he needs to back off if he wants me to not hurt. It was worse to know he cared.
He said nothing to me on the subject. Instead, he got the hint and put on a stone face. Eyes numb, his voice sounded neutral. “We should go back, have some of the coconuts, and start moving. We don’t have as much daylight as we did yesterday.” It was all he said before he turned around and walked back towards where we slept last night. I followed after him, feeling terrible for blocking him out. All I knew though was that the closer I get, the more I will hurt.
“So you didn’t see anything at all while up in the tree?” he asked after we were far into our walk.
Before we left, we decided to drink from and eat the last four coconuts. It was debated whether we should save one but we both were feeling greedy. Plus, we wanted to feel full and completely satisfied. We wanted to actually go a while without craving more. It was an amazing feeling to have. Both of us were full of water and the white flesh from the coconuts.
We were walking now under the shade and along the trees instead of the beach. It was too hot for comfort to say the least. I had to endure washing my cut out in the ocean again. It was almost healed but the salt stung. Having him tie the belt back on me hurt too. Not to mention that my period didn’t help things either. The moss I ended up finding when parting to take a bathroom break was something that would take a while to get used to. It was a strange feeling. That is why talking like we were… it was a helping distraction for us all day today.
“No,” I answered him. “It sucks to say this but… the island is bigger than we thought, which means it could take a while to reach the creek,” I said, not at all happy about that. I was worried. What if we can’t make it in time?
I glanced up at him. Staring back down to me, he must have seen the defeated look on my face. “We are going to be fine. There must be more coconut trees along the beach. We have grass to catch the dew. We have an ocean filled with fish… We have food and water, no matter how little. This will be fine, at least for a while until we reach the stream. However, it will take us much longer if we aren’t lucky with how massive this island is. All it means is we have to use our time wisely.”
I looked around and saw the sun getting lower in the sky. He was right, and I had an idea when I looked back up to him. Getting there was important but since it would take a bit, we should take care of a few other things. “We should stop now then. We have a few things to focus on. Today that could be fire. We should be able to make one, especially if we now have the time to do it before dark. Then tomorrow, we can have time to figure out what to do about fishing. All it will take is time and daylight. Plus, with being as refreshed as we are now, resting might help even more. These past few days with that amount of walking have slowed us down. I think we should start taking more breaks along the way. Having a bit more energy would really help us.”
He smiled after raising an eyebrow at me. “That’s good thinking. We need extra time if we are going to be working on making a fire and somehow making a spear.”
Yes, we were upset that we probably weren’t as close as we thought. At least we knew we would live to get there. Mr. Rush turned to me and, with a deep breath, spoke. “We could start looking for some sticks for a fire right now. Like you said, just deal with the fishing issue tomorrow. By the time it gets dark and we get a fire going, we will need to get some sleep. Hopefully, then we can wake up early enough to get the dew.”
I nodded, quite excited about this. This would be a great step for us if we can get a fire going. I personally would feel more confident; if we can accomplish getting a fire started, who knows what else we could do.
We walked through the trees, collecting sticks and dry foliage before we found a good spot for the night. We were away from the ocean, but still close enough to hear the waves. Our spot was among an area of tall grass. Before it opened up to a small field, we settled on the edge, where trees started to take over in a packed brush.
Mr. Rush took a minute to look around when his eyebrows suddenly rose. He smiled slyly at me as if he had the secret to everything. From the expression on his face, it made me instantly interested. The guy had some idea on his mind.
When the brightly smiling man walked past me without a word, I followed. Followed him until we were back on the beach. He didn’t stop walking when he reached the edge of the water. I stared at him as he moved to where a stretch of large boulders rested in the shallow water. His feet broke the water without stopping until he stood on the rocks. I raised a brow as he began to climb up a few, wondering what he was doing. Then he stopped and started looking around in the cracks that formed from the rocks piled together. His hand flew down when something caught his eye and it rose with a shiny brown and black stone.
He jumped down and came back up the shore to face me, smiling to me. Mr. Rush held the stone up to my view. “Do you know what this is?”
I know what happens to those who are isolated for a long period of time. Depending on the circumstances, they can go insane. Was that happening to him?
I stared at him for a second. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because you’re acting too weird over a rock.”
He laughed softly. “It’s not just a rock.”
What was he talking about? My eyes moving from him to the rock he held, I examined it more. The color and the texture was unique… I blinked a few times before I felt my chest jump. I realized what it was. “This is flint!”
His smile grew automatically, and he nodded, surprised that I actually knew that. “It sure is!” I felt the excitement he did a little bit ago. Flint was a stone that could actually cause a spark. I’m just glad I could recall what
it looked like too which was how I guessed right.
“How did you know this would be here?” I asked him.
“It hit me that these rocks were here when we passed them. I’ve been to places before where I’ve seen flint. We got lucky that somehow I remembered that.”
Yeah, I felt we got really lucky with that. What were the chances that he would remember what these rocks looked like randomly – and as we are preparing for a fire? “Guess you won’t have to worry about using sticks to start the fire,” I smiled but ended up lowering my eyebrows in thought. “How do we do this, though? Do we just strike it against something hard?”
He sighed and thought it over. “Well usually, from what I know anyway, you use flint against steel or like a knife.”
“What about other rocks?”
“Maybe,” he said. “I’ve never heard of using it with other rocks.”
I looked around where I stood in the sand. There were a lot of rocks and other stones in the sand and a ton in the water. “I’m almost positive it would work if we try it enough times and use several different rocks against it. We are bound to find one that would work with the flint.”
Catching him when he didn’t notice, I saw his gaze sweep over me with approval. He admired that I was able to identify this stone. He also was admiring my idea, and it made my chest jump. It was nice to see him appreciate that. The look he gave me, though… it reminded me of the ones he sometimes gave me at school. This seemed a bit more personal, though. I nearly laughed. “Do brains turn you on, Mr. Rush?”
He blushed and turned away, walking back up the beach. Before he could turn away from me fully, I caught a glimpse of a smile spreading across his face. It was out of view in a second, but I still saw it. It made my heart jump harder than I wanted to admit.
Chuckling to myself, I looked around where I stood. I ended up collecting an armful of different rocks from the sand. Wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Mr. Rush apparently agreed.
Heading back up to where we collected dry brush and branches, I dumped my armful to the ground beside it. We didn’t waste time either. We could feel night coming with the air cooling down.
Mr. Rush started with the flint in one hand, and with the other, he picked up one of the many rocks I grabbed. He crouched down next to the dry brush we collected and took a deep breath. He and I both knew this might not work, but we had hope. That’s why he jumped right in and did it.
He started flicking his wrist in a fast motion. Sliding one rock swiftly against the other, hitting them together in a quick movement. Nothing happened, as expected. Mr. Rush kept repeating that movement several times before I noticed the sun was setting. Sweat was still visible on his brow as he kept the friction between the two stones going.
That was what all the other rocks were for, though. We fail, we try a different rock with the flint. That’s exactly what he did too. He tried for several times, over and over. Striking it together more than twenty or even thirty times as fast as he could. Still… nothing. Not one spark yet and the sun was already gone. I was getting impatient. I’ve wanted one night without shivering. This was not going to be another one of those nights.
I snatched the stones from him, seeing his arms start to slow; he had to be doing this for more than an hour at least. He let me take the flint from him and, in my other hand, I grabbed the next rock we could try. I did so with a fierceness I didn’t know I had. I was just so anxious for a damn fire! I lifted one of my wrists with the rock and brought it down in a swift movement, sliding the edges of the two pieces together. I was shocked it only took me ten or so times. But it happened.
I saw a spark, and when I did, I kept going. Hitting it harder and closer to the dry brush until it caught! It took a bit to cradle to life but when I actually saw a flame… I felt that satisfaction I longed for.
I jumped up in happiness, even throwing my arms in the air. My heart was beating faster than I expected it to but I couldn’t help it! I couldn’t believe this! I did it. I did it. I did it. I flipping did it! I’ve wanted this for what felt like forever and guess what? I did it! “Oh my god, oh my god! It worked!”
Mr. Rush was just as excited. He jumped up immediately too at seeing the fire start and slowly spread, laughing in excitement with me. Because damn it, we did it! Somehow, I ended up jumping with my arms around Mr. Rush’s neck. All I could think was that I was so happy and grateful for this fire and that he was here with me! As he hugged me back and laughed with me, I knew I probably wouldn’t feel as whole when I leave his arms.
The reality of what we were doing came and instant awkwardness set in. I left his arms, and we both quickly backed off. I wasn’t shocked that I was right and that I didn’t feel as a whole. However, I was too excited and so was he to think about being embarrassed. Plus, it was justified; we had fire!
We swiftly inched as close as possible to the fire after sitting down in the grass. We put more dry brush, more small sticks on, and it grew in heat and height. I felt my cheeks warm, and I closed my eyes. The heat rested in my eyelids and spread through to the rest of my body. God, it was a feeling I needed to hold onto for nights when we aren’t this lucky. It was so warm and welcoming; it made me smile as I opened my eyes. My gaze traveled over to Mr. Rush, and I could see that he felt the same warmth.
After a minute, as our excitement died down slightly, Mr. Rush turned and faced my direction. “How did you do that? After an hour of me trying and coming out with raw hands, you manage to start a fire like it’s nobody’s business. Have you done this before?” he asked, laughing slightly.
I chuckled at his words and shrugged. “I guess I wanted it so badly, it just came to me. To be fair, most of it must have been the type of rock I picked up to use with the flint. We should save the rock we used with for when we make another fire.”
My heart jumped when I saw that admiration again in his eyes. He gave me a very beautiful and bright smile. “That’s a good idea,” was all he said but it was enough to make me proud of what was accomplished.
We sat in silence around the low crackles and heat for a while after that, but we knew if we wanted a hint of water, we needed to get up early. So when he mentioned it, I laid down where I was next to the fire, not caring if I was too close. This was the first night feeling as warm as I have since slept in my own bed, and I loved it. I was asleep by the time the cold moved in. It was the first time I felt invincible against it.
Chapter 11
I was back home, seeing the scene that my dad and the officer were trying to rush me away from. Chatter filled my living room as well as men and women in uniform. My eyes racing around me couldn’t ignore the plastic that covered every inch of the room. Then my shaky gaze found the one person that meant the world to me.
My mother’s white gown was covered in her own red and thick blood; it made my mind spin. Spin like it never did before. Spin out of control when I saw that her beautiful blue eyes were open and yet lifeless. I felt my heart literally want to fail. I groaned as if I was just punched in the gut. The next thing I knew, she disappeared from my sight. The scene around me faded away with a new one taking over.
I was in the bathroom, staring down at myself on the floor with my dad. I was such a mess and had no way to support myself, physically or emotionally. Dad took all my weight as I sobbed my heart out against him. He held me and, almost soothingly, whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry now. We will get him out.”
Following that, I lifted my red and tear stained face. My eyes were wide, and my face was full of disbelief. “W-What? You want him free?”
His lips parted with a laugh, and I saw that not one sign of sadness ran from his eyes. “Yes. He did the right thing and what he had to do. We both did.”
I was relieved when that picture also faded like the last. However, this was a little different. Less vague and more relieving. I was up.
I woke from that terrible dream and took in a hard gasp. Jesus, just a dream — and the same one. I sighed in annoyance at that r
ealization. I had hoped that I was done dreaming about that. I had hoped that experiencing another tragedy like a freaking plane crash would take that dream’s place. I guess that wasn’t the case.
When my sight cleared, so were my other senses. I saw the man, and I felt him shaking me too. I took him in with wide eyes and could see him well enough through the darkness. When he saw my eyes open, he stopped shaking me. “Are you alright?” he asked, clearly worried.
I smiled slightly. I loved that about him. He was always so curious about me, but my feelings and well-being came first. I just nodded. “Just a bad dream. Sorry, I woke you.”
“Woke me? You were doing more than just interrupting my sleep. Hearing you whimper and gasp like that… it scared me,” he reluctantly admitted. His honest eyes burned down to mine, and a small flicker of fire brightened his face.
I wasn’t sure what to say. “I… uh, well, like I said, it was just a bad dream. We should get some sleep.” I turned away before my eyes and face could betray me once more. I laid back down and tried my hardest to fall back asleep, all the while praying he did the same without interrogating me. I was lucky to have drifted off almost instantly.
Even with how fast I went back to sleep, that didn’t change the fact that our plan to get up early failed. Because unfortunately, I woke up first and it wasn’t at dawn. I groaned at the brightly lit sky. I saw Mr. Rush shift in his sleep a few feet away. He opened his reluctant eyes the moment I sat up to look around me. With how much there was to take in, the only thing my eyes saw were dry blades of grass.
He looked around as well, noticing the same thing when he lifted his head. He was lying on his stomach, his arms stretched before him. Head falling in defeat and propped by his outstretched arms, he released an aggravated groan. His voice was muffled in his arms. “Well, shit.”