Island Rush

by Marien Dore

  Then it clicked. Mr. Rush was the reason to stay here. I wanted to see my mother, but it wasn’t my time to die. I couldn’t stand the thought of going on without Mr. Rush. Call me stupid, crazy, and just a typical girl. Living on this island with him, though… it gave me something I never had before.

  I wasn’t sure how long we held on. If it were a minute or an hour, I didn’t know. At last, Mr. Rush collapsed one last time against me and our legs didn’t fly back up in the wind. His weight was a welcome as was his hard breathing in my ear. We were actually okay.

  It was the most relieving thing in the world to feel that a terrible storm died down and eventually faded away after several minutes. All that was left was a very dark sky and a little bit of wind. It left my mind in a haze. How could something like that come on so quickly only to leave just as fast?

  Our breathing died down. When Mr. Rush lifted his weight off me, he rolled me over onto my back so we could look at each other for the first time. I saw he hadn’t fully sat up but only lifted his weight. He was still laying over me, his face close to mine, and his arms all that were keeping him up.

  I said nothing. It was a shock, seeing his face. Dirt and water covered him and his face. His hair went in every direction with mud spread over the strands. A few small cuts covered his body that I could see, including a few along his cheeks and chest.

  With seeing that, all I could think was that it made him so beautiful. Under all those dull colors of dirt and a little blood was a rich chocolate engraved in his eyes. What made him so spectacular at that moment was that all his emotions were presented to me without his knowledge of it. The concern, awe, wonder, and shock that didn’t just have to do with the storm.

  He pressed more of his weight on me, leaning down as he lifted one of his hands, running the back of it down the side of my face. His breath picked up and was growing harder than before.

  I found my voice after averting my eyes. When I looked back, that same awe and shock were still there, breath growing harder as that sweetness brushed my face. “Are you okay?” I asked in a higher tone than intended.

  A strange looked crossed his face. His eyes were always the doorway to his feelings. Now it was open, and it penetrated my senses. I might have laughed at the words I just spoke, but I didn’t get the chance to. His face descended, and his lips stopped on mine.

  He kissed me. With it was an intense amount of passion that I couldn’t understand. I froze as he unwound, one hand keeping him propped over me as the other wound around me and cupped my neck, pulling me up to him.

  Mr. Rush was always so loyal to Jill, so sure of her, or so it seemed. It’s understandable why it would be a shock to me that he was kissing me. His lips moved over mine, and I sure hadn’t expected it. He was so… warm. It made everything inside me race faster than I could handle, especially since we were still recovering from that wicked storm. Now how was I supposed to recover from this?

  I didn’t get what he was doing. Did he hit his head on a tree as I did my legs? Was he actually doing this because he liked me as I did him? I’ve tried staying away but did I try hard enough? No, not even close. I just got sucked in and ignored all the issues. Did he think that maybe I was Jill somehow? I feel that that was a huge possibility. He might be using his lust for her out on me for all I knew. I seriously wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

  That was why I finally let go and let him take me away with his lips. I started to move my mouth with his, letting myself drown in the fact that I was actually kissing him. Him - the one guy I was always infatuated with. The one guy I dreamed of having.

  His lips were warm and full on mine, moving longingly. It made the hairs on my arms stand on end. And with those arms, I lifted them and wrapped them around his body, resting one hand on his back as my other hand cupped his neck.

  His mouth started to move with an urgency like he had been hungry for so long and couldn’t control himself. I did the same, welcoming him with open arms – or lips. I let him push his lips and even his tongue deeper. The power he was exerting on my mouth was so soft and warm. The little prickly hairs that had begun to grow on his chin and below his nose brushed my skin too and made me moan. Combine that with his breath which felt just as amazing… it made me get lost in all of him.

  We searched each other’s mouths until he abruptly stopped, the action making my heart jump hard. He pulled his head back to stare at me with a look of shock and absolute wonder. We froze, and I knew we were sure we had no clue what just occurred. The only thing I became sure of was that this changed everything.

  Chapter 20

  His eyes were wide over mine, too shocked to move. The events that just occurred seconds ago will always remain with me. I loved what we shared. It made me want to pull him back down to me so we could reconnect our lips. I knew that would be too wrong for me to do especially with the shock and horror that was present in his gaze.

  He closed his eyes for a long second, holding them tightly shut before opening them again. I could see the shock in them slowly dissipate as he realized that what happened was real. That reality pushed him to roll off me in fast motion, anything to be further away. With how quickly he did it, I was nearly positive he would have made a run for it. All he did was groan from the soreness, though. Hearing his painful grunt… it reminded me that my body was in poor shape as well.

  We survived what seemed to be a hurricane, and the first thing he does is kiss me instead of checking whether we were in good condition. I can’t say I minded that.

  Mr. Rush was breathing shallow breaths from where he was on his back. He winced when he started to sit up. Raising a hand to his face, he ran it down his cheek before pulling it back. Staring at the blood and dirt on his hand, I could only imagine how bad I was. I tried to sit up myself but I couldn’t. All it resulted in was a shot of pain shooting up both legs and making me yelp. I bit my tongue, but it was too late. He was looking me over with a worried expression as I finally pushed myself to sit up, propping myself with my arms.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I scoffed and shook my head. “I asked you first. I guess you’re more than fine considering your answer was to kiss me!”

  I felt a rush of irritation and annoyance towards him. I loved what we shared, I truly did. What I didn’t like was my theory as to why he initiated it in the first place.

  “I… I’m sorry!” his stuttered out, unable to meet my eyes now. “I… I have no clue why I did that. It was really blurry,” he muttered, swallowing and looking down. “I am truly sorry, Janice. Honestly, I don’t have a clue what just came over me. I didn’t mean it, for more reasons than one. I really don’t understand my actions.” He was still breathing in large gasps, and I don’t think it was just from the pain anymore. Listening to what he said, I didn’t believe much of it.

  “No. I know you know why you did it. You’re going to tell me,” I said in a hard voice. My chest was experiencing a rough ride at the moment. I was mad because my guess for why he did it was Jill. Yet my heart was going crazy about the impossible hope that he wanted to do it because he wanted me.

  He looked up to me, and his face turned panicked at my words, desperate. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it, shaking his head. “You don’t understand…” he trailed off. His answer made me more upset, and I couldn’t be quiet anymore.

  “It was your lust for Jill, wasn’t it? It’s been so long without her or just contact with a woman in general – that you needed to take it out on me. You imagined her, weren’t you?”

  I waited and watched him carefully. His eyes grew with an expression that called me crazy, but it changed after a moment. To something, I couldn’t read. All I started thinking was that I couldn’t get my hopes up – and it was very unrealistic too as well. He was engaged to an attractive woman that was around his age. I was a child to him and could imagine not nearly as pretty. It made my theory more credible in my eyes. He used me for Jill.

  He searched my face a minute be
fore he finally looked away and sighed. In a hurt expression, he spoke in a quiet voice. “Yes. I used you because of my need for Jill.”

  Despite the pain, I forced myself to my feet. He did too and faced me, his eyes begging for understanding. At this point, all I could think was that this guy was a prick.

  “I truly hadn’t been thinking. It’s just… after that storm, something broke in me, and I couldn’t control it.”

  “Your need for physical contact,” I said in a dead voice.

  He reluctantly nodded. I wasn’t sure what to think. I was hurt, and it was my own fault. I knew he would hurt me if I liked him like that. However, there was a part of me that was just disgusted that he would use me like that. “I can’t believe you would do that to me,” I said in a sour voice. Unfortunately, I heard my voice break with it.

  “I… I can’t tell you sorry enough. I didn’t mean to make you think I cared for you… in that way.”

  “Excuse me?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “You… you did kiss me back. You need to realize that it was my lust and need for Jill. It was not because I have feelings for you like that. I can’t— I don’t feel that way for you.” He tried to say the words firmly, but it looked like he had a hard time saying it, which I understood. It was awkward and just hearing it made me cringe. I felt angry and embarrassed.

  He caught me. I kissed him back. He obvious thought that I liked him in more ways than I should, which I did, but I sure didn’t want him knowing that! “I don’t care for you that way either,” I instinctively hissed back at him. “I don’t care what you think at the moment. All I know is you used me.”

  His head dropped in shame as well as in sadness. “I did. I… I’m so sorry for that. I really did not mean to use you, I really did not,” he stressed. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his next words out a little faster. “Even though it was lust for Jill, I still took it out on another girl that wasn’t her. And a kid at that,” he groaned. Those last words made him wince for some reason. It made me sick to hear. I was going to give him something else to wince about.

  He knew the damage that did to me. Then he turns around and worries about his relationship with her. Tossing me aside like that… that would have hurt anybody. Then the real kicker was that he insulted me and called me a kid. That was why, for the second time on this island, I gripped my fist tight and wound it back. Swinging it forward, I punched his already hurting face and jaw. Though it hurt my body to do it, I took a lot of satisfaction knowing he was already in physical pain too.

  Before my fist made contact with his jaw, I saw something very strange cross his features: a knowing look. One that said he knew I would react this way and welcomed it. Was this his way of relieving his guilt? I didn’t know and didn’t care either.

  He twisted in the direction my fist went, falling to the ground instantly. It was shocking to see. I didn’t think I put that much power behind it, but I was satisfied. Those words would hurt anybody, and he knew it. Did he think it was my fault for him kissing me?! I wanted to punch him again but held off as I watched him grunt on the ground. Hearing it made me laugh humorlessly.

  “What the hell is so funny?” he hissed, clasping his bloody nose. I guess I didn’t only get his jaw but his nose too.

  “A little ‘kid’ just threw your ass to the ground!” My laugh died down, and I spoke my next words in a low tone. “Jesus, you haven’t changed and are even more of a dick!”

  I shook my head. I was mostly angry at myself for a few things. One, I knew better not to fall for this guy and trust him not to do something like that. And two, I still had feelings for him.

  I let him lay there. I knew how sore we were and not moving probably felt like his best option. I slowly made my way to a tree that was lying on its side on the forest floor. Gingerly sitting on the log, I took a couple deep breaths.

  It was my fault. My fault I felt this way. Sure I would have been pissed off even if I didn’t feel this way about him but I did. He shouldn’t have done that, but it hurt worse for me. It was like he intentionally broke my heart for my own good.

  Internally sighing, I rolled my eyes. I sounded like one of those dramatic and immature little girls in school when they had ‘boy trouble’ and all that crap. It hurt, but I needed to suck it up and realize he would never go for me and that I shouldn’t have trusted him.

  I heard a grunt and noticed he got to his feet in an awkward manner. I didn’t look at him. He knew – he knew – I would hurt when he said those words. Yet, he let them fly. Why he did that? I had no idea. He also knew how hurt I would be, more than one usually would be if used. Having understood all I went through, I at least figured he would have respected that.

  He stood before me, and I reluctantly looked up at him, his face now covered in more blood from his nose. “Look, I—” he cut himself off and sighed. “Never mind. We should get cleaned up.”

  I scoffed and carefully stood, ignoring his outstretched hand for assistance. I said nothing as we stood there, looking around us. I guess that was the one plus of getting upset. It was a perfect distraction from us nearly dying. Gazing around the area was a perfect reminder.

  We could see the ocean from here, which was scary to realize. We were that close to being dragged out by the storm. Though I was hurting, he did save my life again. It didn’t make me want to cave, though. I won’t forgive him so easily yet.

  It was nice knowing we weren’t lost at least. Something else was, though: everything we were carrying. “We lost our spear,” I said with a growl. He groaned as he realized this too.

  We walked quietly down to the beach and froze at the sight before us. The sand was covered in sticks, big branches, leaves, and seaweed. There were some whole trees too, mostly the trees that were lining the beach. The water supported twigs, logs, and other debris that floated over the waves.

  I froze and ran cold as I realized something. My gaze snapped back towards the trees. I pursed my lips at the sight of the few coconut trees in sight. They were laying on the ground, with nothing to offer. I could only assume that went for all sources of fruit along the beach. Well, that is just perfect.

  “Shit,” I heard him whisper as his eyes followed my gaze.

  I shook my head and laughed again. “Well, isn’t that great! No spear, no food, and probably no shells to spare for the dew!”

  After taking it in for a bit, we walked out to the water as we had intended. Knees deep, we washed ourselves off as best as we could. Once we rinsed off the mud, we were careful tending to some of the small cuts we had. We didn’t plan on patching anything because most were too small to bother with. As long as we keep them clean, we will be fine.

  Walking back up from the water, I shook my head, not use to this depressing sight along the beach. Could this day get any worse? I’m used for this dude’s own pleasure, we are at a huge disadvantage from losing all our things, and we are bruised and hurt. I guess I had to be thankful. We lived and despite my legs getting hit, as well as Mr. Rush’s side, we were in better shape than we probably should be in.

  “We shouldn’t do any walking today. We are hurt and don’t need to push it,” I said.

  Though he agreed, I didn’t need a response from him. I walked back up the beach as fast as I dared with him following. When we went further into the trees, the thicker it became and less touched by the storm. When we stopped, I saw Mr. Rush retrieve something from his pockets.

  “At least we have the flint and stone,” he muttered. “Too bad everything is wet, probably it will still be tonight too, unfortunately.”

  It was a long and awkward rest of the day. We literally did nothing besides try to relax and rest. I laid down on the wet grass when we found some that weren’t spaced out by mud. It was nice, especially since it was a cooler day from that point on. Mr. Rush did the same thing, only laying several feet away from me. We didn’t really talk for the rest of the day, which I was completely fine with.

  It was a little hard to relax as we were laying
down, though. Everything that happened was still racing in my head and no doubt, his too. At least it gave me a chance to realize the extent of what happened with the storm and Mr. Rush’s mistake.

  By the end of the day, Mr. Rush was, unfortunately, right. Everything was still wet and damp. We didn’t bother trying to make a fire and waste our energy. I was afraid of just how cold the night was going to be. Talk about relieving when we started drifting off before the sun was even down. We were so exhausted and sore, it didn’t take much for us to fall asleep before the cold could hit.

  Of course, I did wake in the middle of the night because of it. I tried not letting it bother me by pushing myself to go back to sleep. Even more, though, I had to force away the temptation of moving closer to Mr. Rush. He was a good source of heat and was sleeping just a few feet away.

  During the storm, I lost the fabric that was wrapped around my feet. Being shirtless too made it worse, of course. I felt as if I was freezing but knew I would be fine. I eventually managed to fall back to sleep for the rest of that night.

  Chapter 21

  Bathrooms were luxuries. I was learning that while I was here. It was just one more thing that made me feel disgusting living on this island. Of course, that was because I wasn’t used to wiping my ass with leaves. I wasn’t used to the slight lack of privacy. I could say this, though, Thank God, I could toss aside the moss until next month. Just couldn’t imagine what we will be doing and where we will be next time I get my period.

  After cleaning up and walking back to where we spent the night sleeping without a fire to warm us, we were ready to go. We knew we couldn’t give in and spend today relaxing too. Despite being hurt and sore, we needed to get some walking done today. Having no food made me even more anxious to find the creek. Because of the heat unlike yesterday, fresh water sounded pretty good to me.

  As we set out walking, it was clear we weren’t going to be nearly as productive as usual. We couldn’t walk nearly as fast and with how sore we were, we would need more breaks too. The cuts on the bottom of my feet didn’t help either, but they weren’t much of a concern considering our current situation. No food, no spear, no relief for my aching body, and no words to say to him. I know I sound pathetic but today was not a great day to upset me. I was ready to explode with all the tension and energy around us. Mr. Rush and I said as little as possible to each other, save a few words. Though I was quite mad, I wasn’t as upset as I was yesterday but enough to not want to bother with him at all.