Island Rush

by Marien Dore

  He closed his eyes, holding a hurtful look. And you know what? It felt pretty good. I snorted, shook my head, and hid my pain. I didn’t give him a chance to speak because the luggage at my feet gave me the push to start walking.

  Stupid, impossible, and it would piss him off. I didn’t consider the danger but didn’t care either way. His words made me think — a lot. It led me to one conclusion. I felt like I was no good or useless. I knew it wasn’t true, but it made me feel that way. It made me want to prove to myself that I am better than what he said. I am better and can do things for myself. I am not a child and will prove it to myself and to him!

  This was a good way to do it. We were going to be here for a while, and that meant we would need more things. More supplies and resources can be uncovered from the plane if we try.

  I strode down the beach, heading up to the shady grass and walking parallel to the ocean. I was heading in the direction the bags were floating from. The plane couldn’t be far, and it apparently was much closer to shore than I thought.

  I knew he was behind me, but he kept his distance at first. Probably most likely unsure of how he was going to fix this. How he was going to explain that he used me again when I clearly heard my name. No, I was done. Done with him.

  The sweat pouring down my face seemed more minor each day here. However, the pain I felt over him wasn’t something I could get used to. The longer we were here, the more I had come to want him. The more naive I became too. It was my fault, yes, but it was his too.

  My eyes danced over the water, looking for more luggage to pop up. Seeing nothing yet, something interrupted me. I jumped slightly upon hearing him fall into step beside me and speak. “Hey, we need—”

  I cut him off instantly. “There is no more ‘we.’ You made that very clear. So don’t try to apologize to me, just don’t talk to me.” I moved forward, moving my legs at a faster pace.

  I heard a faint groan from behind me and figured he was getting frustrated. I smiled at that. A few minutes later, he shouted from behind me. “Where are you even going?”

  The both of us still walking, I kept my head forward, searching for anything in the water. Finally, I saw something that didn’t require looking hard.

  Another cliff was ahead, slightly smaller than the last one we went around. This one seemed strangely familiar too once I was closer to it. Eyeing it up, it was not as far out as the last and not as tall. From where we were in the trees, I saw no problem with going up and over the side instead of around it in the water. I turned slightly, heading farther into the forest so I had more of a gradual incline.

  “Would you please tell me where you’re going?!” he said; his patience on a thin line.

  “You can go wherever you want,” I said back over my shoulder as I started to move uphill.

  “I figured that out, thank you,” he said sarcastically. “I said you. Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to the bathroom!”

  “That was an awful attempt to try to get rid of me.”

  Watching my feet, I dodged rebelling roots up the rugged hill as best as I could. I stayed ahead of him and didn’t look back. “Well, maybe I should send you mixed signals, call you an obsessed slut, break your heart in the process, and use you! I know that sure works for getting rid of some people!” I yelled louder.

  I heard the sound of dirt shifting and a hard thud. Glancing back, I saw he tripped, landing on his stomach. He also looked shocked. I didn’t stop moving and turned my attention ahead of me again.

  I realized my mistake. I admitted to him he broke my heart. Great, he already knew I had some attraction towards him but nothing that serious. Well, nothing to do now other than getting this over with. I was anxious to do this, whether I could or not.

  I kept debating with myself if this was really something I should do. I knew it wasn’t. It was dangerous. It was like when I thought nothing of my actions when I ate the first berry, not knowing if it was poisonous or not. It was like last night, not thinking about the consequences. But I could feel it in my bones, just how much I needed to do this. I didn’t want to be a slut, a child, and someone with no self-respect. I wasn’t any of those things, and I was going to prove that.

  I reached the top of the cliff and saw I stood on mostly flat ground. I turned around, looking back towards the creek and the way we came from. It was so beautiful, the sandy strip stretching along the shore. It ended in the distance where the other cliff was, the one we struggled around only to find the creek.

  Turning, I walked a few feet to the other side, the direction we were heading. I saw the other strip of land, sand, and water. It didn’t take long to realize where I was looking.

  This was where we first started. Where Mr. Rush first woke me and I saw we were alive and on an island. It was down on that strip of the beach that we made the flight attendant’s first grave. I knew that because when we washed up on shore, this was one of the first things I saw. This exact cliff.

  That meant the plane was in this area of the water.

  Shuffling came from behind me in the woods where I knew Mr. Rush was catching up. I moved on, going back into the trees so I could move down the hill at a more gradual angle. My eyes remained scanning the water, looking for any other bags.

  By the time I got to the bottom, to the scorching sand, I looked back up and saw he was coming behind me. I wish I could have known where exactly the plane was before he reached me. Standing at the edge of the water, with no choice but to keep looking for more bags, I sighed. He most likely knew more about where the plane could be than me. He was the conscious one who pulled me out. Too bad I couldn’t ask. He would have figured out why I wanted to know.

  I heard him behind me, but he stayed silent. I just kept scanning the water with no success. Then a few moments later, he finally broke the silence. “Look, Jan—”

  A black bag surfaced up from under the water. It wasn’t as far from shore as I would have expected, which made this a lot easier. It was about the same distance out as the cliff we went around in the water, maybe a few yards more. I didn’t hesitate. Seeing the exact spot the bag came from, I was moving in an instant. I didn’t hear him finish, probably because he was surprised by my sudden sprint into the water.

  The water pooled around me and before it reached my thighs, I heard him coming, splashing just as loud. He must have known then my plan, and that made him really work for it. Grabbing my arm and stopping me, he pulled me back until the water was back at our kneecaps.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?!” he shouted, holding me firmly.

  “I decided to go fishing!”

  “You’re not doing this. It’s too dangerous and too far down! Your life isn’t worth a couple bags of clothes!”

  “I guess that’s for me to decide,” I yelled in his face, trying to jerk his strong hold of me. He was stronger than he looks.

  “Why? Are you trying to prove a point to me? Trying to upset me?”

  I stopped struggling and took a sharp breath. “I just need to do this. You will not stop me either. If you haul me back, I’ll just be more determined to do it when your back is turned.” He didn’t deserve an answer or for me to explain. Did I want to make him upset, angry, worried? Maybe. That is not why I was doing this, though. It was much more than something petty like that.

  “You can’t expect me to just let you do this and probably die. Is that what this is? Are you giving up? You really that weak, huh?” He pushed, anger flooding him. It was obvious though he was having a hard time keeping that tough-guy face.

  I gave him another reason why I wanted to do this. “No! I can do this because I am not weak! We are here and not leaving. That’s the simple truth. Think long-term. We need things to help us live. Do you know the stuff we could find? My phone still worked that day! With how many things that plane is holding, we could have a chance of finding another. And for whatever reason, luggage keeps coming up – apparently including carry-on bags. That means there is probably
easy access.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not worth it! Yes, we could go down there and leave safely with a lot of supplies. And it would probably happen; it looks much closer than I thought and it can’t be that deep. But it is a huge risk, one I’m not going to let you take. If you want me to apologize—”

  “That is the last thing I need from you!”

  “I don’t understand your goal in this.”

  “I don’t understand what you don’t understand. I am going!” I stressed those last words.

  His breath became shallow. Mr. Rush stayed silent for a long moment. “If you get us killed down there…”

  I nearly laughed! How could he think he was going? Scoffing, I spoke in a harder voice. “I’m going. You’re not. I don’t need a goddamn babysitter!”

  “I’m going. That’s how it’s going to be. Or I will literally haul you back to camp right now.”

  I searched his furious expression after taking in his harsh warning. His eyes gave away just how worried and scared he was. I didn’t want him doing this with me. I had to prove I could do this — without his help. But if it were him going or nothing, I would have to deal with it. I needed to do this.

  It took me a minute to answer. “Fine. There were air pockets down there before. Do you think they are still there?”

  He nodded, looking confident with his answer. “The plane is far down, but not far enough for much pressure. Some air should still be down there. There was quite a lot when we were getting out.”

  He let go of me after a moment but did not look okay doing it. He appeared ready to slap me and beg me at the same time. Saying nothing else, he strode out past me into the deeper water. I followed him out into the sharp rocks along the bottom. It started to get rougher. Soon, there was no bottom. The water was over our heads this far out. He stayed close to me while we swam further out to safety; I honestly just wanted to be far from this man.

  This didn’t mean there was forgiveness between us. No, there was no choice in this. I know he would have hauled me back up if I said no to him coming. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would still have the guts to sneak back and try again like I said, so it was either this or nothing. And I was dead set on doing this.

  When he finally stopped swimming out, he looked down and around him many times until he faced me. His eyes looked ready to explode with emotion. “You stay behi—”

  “I am done with you. I told you that, and it’s also what you wanted. You’re here on your own, and I just happen to be here at the same time. You go your way, I go mine.”

  He looked ready to break, but he didn’t. Averting his eyes from mine, he responded. “That’s fine. But you need to know where you’re going so follow me first. You’ll want air more than anything by the time you get down there. You won’t get to the air bubbles in time without me to show you where it is.” His voice sounded dead while strangely reasonable. He brought up a very good point. I guess it was better he was coming.

  “Okay,” I said, getting impatient with the continuous rocking of the waves.

  “I’m serious. Take the biggest breath you can and stay close.”

  I nodded reluctantly. The second he inhaled and went under, I did the same.

  The second I was under, I opened my eyes only to immediately close them. The salt water burned my eyes, which I needed to get over. I continued kicking hard and opened my eyes, forcing myself to follow Mr. Rush as he went deeper. I started to worry more and more the farther down we went. It hadn’t even come into sight until I was already nearly out of breath! The pressure against my body didn’t help. It became harder with each second. It was relieving when I managed to see something besides him.

  It was insane to think the plane crashed this close to the island. That was how we were able to see it after swimming for what left like forever. It was a huge mass, laying there at the bottom, on rocks. If it were out any further, in deeper waters, there would have been no hope to even reaching it.

  When we got close enough, Mr. Rush grabbed something on the side of the plane, keeping him still. At this point, I was close to panicking. We needed air now. He knew it too. He turned to face me, grabbed my hand, and roughly pulled me with him through an opening on the side of the plane. He wasn’t careful about it either.

  A red haze filled my vision through the water as he rushed us into the plane. That second, a loud noise came from him, muffled in the water. He kept pulling me along, guiding me down the aisle and towards the back of the plane.

  I didn’t completely realize I would be forced to see the bodies of my classmates and internally scolded myself. I guess I didn’t put much thought into it. No, an understatement. I hadn’t thought about much at all. I just did it. I didn’t bother to consider the internal consequences.

  The water was tinted red ahead of me still. It started to get blocked out though by my spotty vision thanks to the pressure. My chest was ready to explode, but finally, we reached the back of the plane. We came up into one of the air pockets on the ceiling of the plane.

  We both inhaled deeply. I looked to Mr. Rush in the small space and saw him wince, his eyes squinting with a twitch of movement. “What is it?” I asked, dreading what I now suspected was the red haze.

  “I’m fine,” he said close to my face, breath shaky. “Don’t waste the air. Grab what you can, fling it out and up from the opening. There are more air pockets up near first class.”

  “Okay,” I said, trying to sound sure.

  He was about to go back under but stopped himself. “Don’t put a bag of irrelevant things before you. You want out, start swimming. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to move to where the luggage is, under the plane. There is a way in there. Deal with the carry-ons,” he said.

  He didn’t give me a chance to argue before he was back under again. I took another deep breath and went under with him. He went in one direction, moving towards the opening while I went in another, moving down the aisle. Mr. Rush out of sight, I remained in the hall, staring at all the bodies. I had to block it out and get this done. Easier said than done.

  There were so many bodies. People. Each of them was still strapped into their seats. When we crashed, most people were stunned instantly by the impact or the shattering of the windows. And if it wasn’t that, they drowned from screaming. To know that each one of these people died in one of those ways was tormenting. Especially because I knew most of these people.

  I recognized a boy from my math class. One of his eyes appeared slightly pulled out of its socket, and the other completely gone. Some had no eyes at all, like Nathan Preston. He was one of the smartest kids I knew. They all resembled skeletons in a way. Skin remained on most while others didn’t look so lucky. One thing was consistent with the bodies, though. The hair on their heads was floated up above them, appearing to me like eerily like seaweed.

  It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen, next to finding my mother dead. This time, though, it was my fault I was putting myself through this. I had no idea what compelled me to do this, not anymore. It was too late, and I was already here so I had to get to work.

  My hands finding the backs of the seats, I moved forward and over all the heads. Looking sideways, I saw the carry-on bags. Grabbing as many straps of them as I could, I hooked them all on my arm. I turned quickly, swimming towards the opening on the side of the plane we came through. Taking all the straps in my hand, I pushed them up and out into the ocean where they floated up.

  Turning around, my eyes landed on her. I knew Emma right away. Yet she looked… tortured. Her mouth was open, the hair she had left waving in the water above her. Her eyes were open, and when I looked into them, I looked away immediately. Too familiar, too much considering one was a lot bigger and a different color than the other.

  I felt the pressure build up in my chest again. I was running out of breath and instantly swam up to first class. Looking up at the ceiling of the plane, a few bubbles trapped there were enough. I swam up and kissed each bubble, taking enough air
for me. Coming back down, I turned around and froze at the sight before me.

  All the bodies were facing me, which was normal because I was at the front of the plane. Except they all looked the same. They were all the same body, same person. They wore the same white and red material, holding the same expression too.

  Each dead body in sight was my mother’s body.

  I let out a gut retching scream, releasing most of the air I took in. I clamped my mouth shut with my shaking hand, my heart failing in my chest. I repeatedly told myself this was not real. Not real, just like it wasn’t real before. Not at all! I know that. But it was so… realistic.

  The air I lost forced me to move towards the back of the plane where there was another big air pocket. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, swimming quickly until I reached it. Coming up, I not only took in deep breaths. I screamed as loud as I could too.

  Unfortunately, I knew this couldn’t be a dream. It was too real and vivid. Forcing myself to calm down, knowing I needed this air for more than screaming, I took slow even breaths.

  Mr. Rush told me that if I had to, to leave with no hesitation over him. I wanted out more than anything and knew where the opening was to leave. I couldn’t do that, though. I needed to realize this wasn’t real, I needed to grab more bags, and I sure as hell wasn’t leaving without knowing he was safe too.

  I went back under and paused. All those bodies no longer resembled my mom. All the bodies were of my classmates like I knew they truly were. It was a relief to see I was imagining it. The fact that there were still bodies to begin with wasn’t enough for me to start smiling, though.

  Movement caught my attention from my side vision. I turned and faced a pale Mr. Rush. He left that red haze in his path, and it made my eyes widen. It was clear validation that he was bleeding and was really hurt. The man headed up towards where I had been seated next to Emma during the flight. He grabbed the seat handles from where he floated from above. Not sure what he was doing, I watched as he pulled himself down face first to the ground under the chair. His legs in the air with his front moving, I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing.