by Lucy Clark
She smiled at him and shook her head. ‘To tell you the truth, Todd, it’s something I’ve been trying hard not to focus on.’
‘Why? Because you don’t think Jackson feels the same way? Has the same intense emotions you’re obviously experiencing?’
‘Who are you? What have you done with my secretary?’ Susie laughed before she narrowed her gaze at him. ‘Do you have a part-time job writing a column for a magazine giving out advice to the lovelorn?’
Todd smiled. ‘No, I don’t, and stop changing the subject. Richard told me yesterday that Jackson has bitten his head off more times in Brisbane than anywhere else in the world, and when Richard tried to schedule something for tonight, Jackson firmly insisted that he be permitted his scheduled night off to do whatever he chose. He hasn’t even told Richard where he’s going and has said he would leave his pager and mobile phone at the hotel.’
‘Oh, no,’ Susie groaned and covered her face with her hands. ‘That means he’s coming over.’
‘I’d say that it does.’
‘So Richard doesn’t know what’s going on?’
‘No.’
‘And you’re not going to tell him, are you,’ she stated firmly.
‘What am I supposed to tell him? You don’t even know what’s going on.’ Todd laughed when she groaned again. ‘Listen, Susie, you’ve just got to relax and go with the flow. Live a little. Take a chance and don’t punish him for past mistakes. Remember that Jackson isn’t like Walter or Greg.’
‘Ha. That’s what you think. Jackson was talking quite animatedly with Walter last night about how to set up a private hospital.’
‘Walter was at the dinner last night?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Who knows?’ Her tone was bored and impersonal. ‘I certainly don’t and I didn’t stick around to find out.’
‘Perhaps Jackson was just being polite.’
Susie had thought about that as well. She couldn’t bring herself to believe that Jackson was the type of doctor who was in the profession solely for the money. Sure, the VOP would have brought him international acclaim and prestige but he’d been so eager to help out with Blade Fargo’s surgery that she had taken that as proof that he was a doctor first and foremost because he wanted to help people. Just like her. He’d explained that the VOP had been his wife’s idea and he’d only gone through with it to carry out her wishes. His tribute to the departed love of his life.
‘I don’t know any more.’ She sighed again and picked up her pen.
‘So what are you going to do?’
Susie shrugged. ‘I’m going to wait. Wait and see if he calls or simply turns up.’
Todd picked up the files in her out-tray and chuckled as he walked to the door. ‘Ah, ain’t love grand?’
‘Love!’ She choked. ‘Who said anything about love?’
Todd merely laughed and walked out.
‘Love?’ she whispered, and then quickly shook her head. ‘No! Not love. Not again. Not this little black duck,’ she said with determination.
She was still telling herself that as she unlocked her front door a few hours later. She’d heard nothing from Jackson so obviously he’d decided not to keep their…their what? Date? She’d hardly call it that.
She hurried to her room and kicked off her shoes, pulling the clip out of her hair at the same time. Now that he wasn’t coming around, perhaps she could have that bubble bath she’d missed out on last night. It felt so good not to have to go out this evening. She glanced at the clock—seven-thirty.
She changed out of her suit into a loose, flowing skirt and top, taking time to brush her hair before heading to the kitchen for a drink. She eyed the choice of soothing herbal teas in her cupboard while she waited for the kettle to boil and eventually chose chamomile. She checked the kitchen clock—seven-thirty-five.
‘Oh, stop it,’ she told herself as she ran a hand through her hair, but it was easier said than done. She was anxious and on edge. Would he come or wouldn’t he? Perhaps she should call him?
When the doorbell rang she jumped in fright. She stood, glued to the spot for a whole minute, wondering what she should do. Was it him? Was it someone else? With her heart pounding rapidly, she smoothed her hands down her skirt, telling herself there was nothing to be concerned about, and forced her legs to carry her towards the door.
The doorbell rang again as she reached for the handle, giving her a fright, and she gave a little scream. She opened the door to see Jackson standing on the other side of the screen door. She knew that the screen mesh shielded her from Jackson’s view but she could certainly see him and he looked…sexy.
He was wearing a navy polo shirt and the same denim jeans she’d seen him in the other night—the ones that fitted him to perfection.
‘Susie? What’s the matter? Open the door. Why did you scream?’ His impatient tone made her fumble with the key for the screen door but finally she managed. He didn’t wait for her to open it but wrenched the handle down the instant he heard the lock click.
He stormed in, almost knocking her over, glancing around the hallway. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked again.
‘Nothing.’ She concentrated on locking the screen door before closing the wooden door. Unable to delay the inevitable any more, she turned to face him. The look in his eyes was unmistakably raw with repressed desire and involuntarily she parted her lips, her breathing instantly erratic.
His gaze travelled the length of her and her insides spiralled with warmth. Nothing could have made her look away from him at that heart-stopping moment, and before she could utter a word Jackson dropped his bag and hauled her into his arms, his mouth moving hungrily over hers.
In contrast to the kiss they’d shared the previous day, this one was hot and hungry, leaving Susie in little doubt as to just how attracted to her Jackson was. His hands roved over her back as he deepened the kiss. She went with him, eager to keep up, eager to show him just how mutual the desire was.
He groaned and urged her backwards and soon she felt the coolness of the wall against her back. He leaned in, his body pressing against her own, and she felt her breasts crushed against the firmness of his chest.
The smell of raw, unleashed craving mingled between them as the need for more rose urgently in both of them. She dug her fingers into his shoulder blades before sliding them firmly down his back, feeling the flexed muscles beneath. Wanting to touch him, she impatiently tugged his shirt from the waistband of his jeans, her fingers now itching to make contact with his skin.
When the task was finally completed, she moaned with delight when she reached her objective. His skin was hot to her touch just as she’d known it would be. Giving in to the yearning that had been building within her since early Monday morning, she allowed her hands to explore the solid contours of his torso, committing each one to memory.
Jackson groaned against her mouth, unable to believe how this woman could set him on fire. The sensations he was experiencing were all completely foreign but he was definitely enjoying each new one she discovered. The touch of her hands on his body, the way her mouth was responding to his, giving in to every one of his needs, matching them eagerly.
She lifted one leg slightly and coiled it around the back of his before sliding it slowly down to the ground. The action caused a stirring deep within him and he could feel himself losing control of the situation. She repeated the action and he groaned with longing.
Breaking his mouth free, they both gasped in air before he pushed her hair aside and smothered the smoothness of her neck in hot, feverish kisses. He then changed direction and dipped towards the exposed skin above her breasts.
Her hands slid out from his shirt and at the same time she murmured his name. ‘Mmm,’ she sighed, lacing her fingers through his hair. ‘Jackson.’
The way she said his name pierced right to his heart and he realised that things were getting out of control. He worked his way up, not wanting to break the contact immediat
ely but knowing he must—and soon. He nipped at her ear lobe and she giggled. The sound was intensely provocative and the last thing he needed at that moment.
‘Susie.’ With his breathing still out of control, he looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed, her parted lips were dark pink and swollen from his kisses, her breathing as ragged as his own. She was a vision of loveliness. Unable to resist, he brushed his lips against hers, forcing himself not to deepen the kiss.
‘Mmm,’ she murmured again, and when he brushed them a third time, her hands clamped themselves on either side of his head and held his lips where they belonged. Seductively, she ran her tongue over his lips and was thrilled with the shudder that tore through his body.
Ever so slowly, she kissed him again. Teasing and testing, refusing to deepen the kiss.
‘Susie.’ This time her name was torn from his lips and she was satisfied with the response. ‘Honey…’
She kissed him again, not wanting him to speak for she’d already sensed his slow but sure withdrawal. Even though their bodies were still pressed firmly together, Jackson had already mentally distanced himself. She didn’t want to think about things rationally and if they stopped completely, they’d have to talk things through.
Susie just wanted to go on feeling exactly as she was feeling now, not caring about her already bruised heart or the fact that the man in her arms would be leaving within forty-eight hours.
She breathed slowly against his mouth before tasting him once again. Now that she knew how incredible they were together, it was something she knew she’d crave for the rest of her life.
He didn’t break free and he didn’t hurry her. Instead, he took what she was offering but held himself under rigid control, still marvelling at how easily he’d lost his perspective. Perhaps the building resistance they’d been employing for the past four days had increased his drive. Whatever this was between them, Jackson knew he’d never experience anything like it again. This was unique.
Knowing the moment had come where she couldn’t hang onto the physical pull any longer, Susie lowered her hands to his shoulders and slowly opened her eyes. His blue eyes were gazing down into hers, the fire still burning but gradually being doused.
Neither of them spoke but the communication was there. As their breathing steadied to a more normal pace, Jackson reluctantly eased himself away from her. For one fleeting instant, he thought Susie might overrule him and drag his body back where it belonged. Instead, she let her hands fall limply to her sides, her gaze dipping briefly to his lips before she looked down at the floor.
He felt awful. How could he have done what he just had? She was a colleague and, despite how much he was attracted to her, he owed her the respect and common decency he’d show other female colleagues. Guilt started to swamp him and he opened his mouth, an apology on his lips.
‘Don’t.’ Susie held up her hand. ‘Don’t apologise. We both wanted it, we both needed it and we’ll both take responsibility for it.’
‘You’re right, but I was also going to say I’d never meant it to happen.’
‘Liar.’ She crossed her arms defensively over her body, rubbing her bare arms, her body still feeling bereft of his touch. She turned and headed into the living room, leaving him to follow her or stay where he was. She needed to sit down.
‘Why am I a liar?’ He could feel the faint strain of annoyance surge through him at her accusation. He picked up his bag and followed her. She was sitting with her legs tucked beneath her skirt on a large floral chair. Her hands were clenched tightly in her lap and her eyes were momentarily closed.
Susie fought for composure before opening her eyes to look at him. ‘Because you did mean that kiss to happen. You may not have realised it, but it’s been building ever since we met on Monday morning.’ She shrugged, displaying a nonchalance she didn’t feel. ‘It was…inevitable.’
He registered the truth of her words as he slumped down into the matching floral chair. ‘When you opened the door to let me in, I guess everything became too much to control. I was relieved we could see each other without being surrounded by people. I was still trying to resist you because I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do and I was slightly annoyed because of that boring jerk you used to be engaged to.’
‘What’s Walter got to do with this?’
‘How could you have been engaged to someone like that?’ The question had been buzzing around in his brain ever since he’d met the self-centred bore the night before.
‘Don’t you criticise me,’ she replied hotly, feeling her temper begin to rise. She wasn’t that surprised. With all the turbulent emotions still bubbling deep inside, it was little wonder she was reacting so erratically.
‘I wasn’t.’ Jackson eyed her warily and realised she was like a dormant volcano just waiting to explode. Amazingly, he couldn’t think of a time when she’d looked more beautiful. Her eyes were hot with fire, her cheeks were flushed with colour and her shoulders were ramrod straight, showing she was spoiling for a fight. ‘I was surprised to find you’d been engaged to him and I was wondering why you’d lied to me.’
‘What! When did I lie to you? How dare you call me a liar?’
‘Why not? You just called me one.’ He stood and started to pace around the room.
‘That was different and you know it.’ She watched him carefully.
‘You told me your fiancé had moved to Sydney after you’d broken up.’
‘He did.’
‘They why did Walter tell me he’s been in Brisbane for the past few years?’
‘Because he has.’
‘What?’ Jackson’s voice cracked with exasperation.
‘I was engaged twice!’ Susie flung her arms out wide. Her words obviously had a sobering effect on Jackson because he stopped pacing and stared at her in amazement.
‘You’ve been engaged twice?’
‘Yes. First to Walter and then to Greg.’
He exhaled sharply, shoving one hand in his pocket and running the other hand through his hair. ‘No wonder.’ His words were barely audible but Susie caught them.
‘No wonder what?’ she asked instantly, her chin jutting up in defiance.
‘No wonder you’re so afraid of getting hurt again.’ His tone was filled with such compassion that her anger melted away. ‘Did you break off either engagement?’
‘No.’
‘Why did Walter break up with you?’
Susie crossed her arms in front of her chest. ‘Are the twenty questions really necessary?’
‘I think so.’
‘Am I allowed the same courtesy?’
His gaze narrowed marginally but, he realised, it was only fair. ‘Of course.’ He was starting to itch again—itching to touch her. Just to hold her hand in his, to feel her smooth skin against his own, to be close enough to drink in her perfume. She was like a drug and, he was beginning to realise, he was slowly becoming addicted.
CHAPTER NINE
SUSIE made them both a cup of tea, while Jackson watched her flit around her kitchen like a nervous butterfly.
‘How’s Hilda Kazinski doing?’ he asked, trying to fill the strained atmosphere with a bit of conversation. She gave him an update before she thought of a question of her own.
‘How did you know where I lived? I never gave you my address.’
‘Todd,’ he replied as she handed him the mug. He took a sip, staying where he was for a moment. ‘He knows there’s something going on between us, doesn’t he,’ he stated. Susie looked up from stirring her tea.
‘What makes you ask?’
‘He didn’t ask why I needed your address and promised he wouldn’t say a word to Richard.’
‘He guessed.’ Susie shrugged as she walked through to the lounge room. This time she sat at one end of the lounge and Jackson sat at the other, facing each other. ‘So you want to talk about my past?’
At his nod, she continued. ‘We’ll start with Walter, shall we? He wasn’t as pretentious back then as he
is now,’ Susie explained, trying to keep her emotions under control. Every time she thought about her failed engagements, it only increased her feelings of inadequacy.
Now she was dredging them all back up again and why? Because Jackson wanted to know. For some reason it was important and the more she talked, the more she found she wanted to tell him.
‘We worked on a research project together and then after about six months we realised everyone thought of us as a couple. Not long after that he proposed and as it was the first proposal I’d received, I accepted.’ She looked away for a moment, wondering how she could have made such a drastic mistake.
‘Did he love you?’ Jackson’s tone was gentle.
‘He never said it but he was always very thoughtful and, well…coming from a family of ten children, I knew I wanted children and…’
‘Your biological clock was ticking?’ he guessed, and she nodded.
‘So when did Walter break it off?’
‘When he realised I wouldn’t forgo my career for his. He told me he needed a wife who not only understood his work but who looked good on his arm. I was merely decoration.’ She turned away, unable to control the stab of pain she felt.
‘He really hurt you, didn’t he?’ Jackson reached out to take her hand in his.
‘It’s not him who’s causing the pain now but my disbelief in my own stupidity. Eight months later, I met Greg. He was a general surgeon and was completely opposite to Walter. He was wild and funny and we had lots of laughs together. After four short weeks, he proposed. He told me I was beautiful but that he also admired me for my intellect. I guess because he was giving me everything Walter hadn’t, I thought I’d struck gold. Silly me—I believed him. Then again, so did every other girl in the hospital.’
‘Ouch.’ Jackson winced. ‘He two-timed you?’
‘Two-timed, three-timed, probably about six-timed for all I know. When I eventually found out and confronted him, he was blasé about it, as though it wasn’t an uncommon thing. When I told him I wouldn’t stand for any more infidelities, he accused me of being frigid and informed me he was moving to Sydney. His six-month contract at the hospital had expired and he was out of there.’