by Lucy Clark
‘And that was six months ago.’ Jackson turned her hand over in his, smoothing his fingers along the softness of her skin. How dared they make Susie think she was to blame for their own inadequacies?
‘Yes.’ Susie closed her eyes, focusing on the way repeated floods of tingles were travelling up her arm and bursting throughout her body at his caressing touch.
‘Do you know why Walter was there last night?’
She opened her eyes slowly, frowning as she did so. ‘No. Admittedly, I haven’t given it much thought.’ Her mind had been otherwise engaged, trying desperately to fight off the attraction she felt towards Jackson!
‘Well, I do.’
‘What?’
‘Yes. He told me that he’d made a grave mistake and was planning to win you back.’
A smile twitched at the corners of Susie’s mouth and a bubble of disbelieving laughter rose quickly. She tried to choke it down but was unsuccessful. ‘You’re joking.’
‘No.’ He shook his head for added emphasis but inside Jackson swallowed his relief. At least she wasn’t going to be taken in again by that dimwit. Couldn’t Walter see there was more to Susie than beauty? That she deserved a challenging career? And from what he’d seen, she was extremely good at what she did. Microsurgery was a difficult sub-speciality and he’d been highly impressed with the papers he’d read of Susie’s during the past few days. Richard had been a little puzzled when he’d asked him to find them but Jackson hadn’t been in the mood to answer his aide’s questions.
‘Well, I’d better formulate a plan to change his mind, don’t you think?’ She laughed again, still unable to believe Walter was that stupid. Why would he think she’d want him back? Probably because she was still single and she could bet Walter thought he’d come charging in on his white horse and rescue her.
‘It’s nice to see you smiling again.’ Unable to stop himself, Jackson reached out and caressed her cheek. She was amazing. ‘I admire you.’
The laughter slowly dissolved from Susie’s eyes and they continued to look at each other. ‘Why?’ she eventually asked.
‘Why do I admire you?’ At her nod, he continued, ‘Because after two bad experiences, you’ve managed to pick yourself up and keep on going with your life.’
‘Yeah, but my experiences are nothing compared to what you’ve been through.’ Her words were filled with sympathy. He must have gone through the most terrible ordeal yet here he was, daring to live again.
Jackson dropped his hand and shook his head. ‘I felt like dying. When I heard the news, I…’ He paused and swallowed. Now it was Susie’s turn to hold his hand. ‘I wanted to die as well.’
‘I’m very glad you didn’t. Think of all the people you’ve met during the past year on the visiting professorship. Think of how many lives you’ve touched, how many people you’ve helped. Last night, Jackson…’ Susie wasn’t sure whether this was the right time to confess it or not but she was going to. ‘When I left, you were talking with Walter so animatedly about his ridiculous private hospital that I thought you might be the same as him.’
‘I’m not,’ he denied instantly.
‘I realised that.’
‘I was only getting him to talk so you could get away. You looked terrible.’
‘Thanks a lot.’
He smiled. ‘You know what I mean. I knew you’d had an extremely busy day and the last thing you needed was Mr Non-Excitement annoying you.’
‘Thanks,’ she replied, her tone a little clipped. She could handle Walter by herself.
‘What now?’ Jackson asked, not at all fooled by her attitude.
She hesitated, unsure what to say. He seemed to know her so well, reading her body language and seeing the truth of her feelings in her eyes. It was disconcerting to be around a person who seemed to know her so well, especially in such a short time.
‘Why were you so concerned with wanting to get me away from Walter? Was it just because he introduced himself as my fiancé?’
‘That and, as I said, you looked tired.’
‘I don’t need you to protect me, Jackson, or fight my battles for me.’
‘I didn’t. Personally, I thought I behaved with the utmost restraint. My first instinct was to slam my fist right into Walter’s face.’
Susie’s eyes opened wide in shock.
‘But I didn’t. I could see that you were tired and didn’t need the added complication so I distracted him. That’s all.’
‘Chivalry? I thought that was dead,’ she mused. ‘Do you always protect females or just the ones you think can’t fend for themselves?’
Her words were tainted with irony and he opened his mouth to answer but then closed it, thinking for a moment. He’d always been protective of his little sisters and knew they had resented it at times, but he was their brother. It was part of his responsibility to look out for them. So, too, his mother, especially since his father’s death.
‘You might be right,’ he confessed, taking Susie completely off guard. ‘I’ve always protected my sisters and my mother. Alison welcomed it as well, leaving me to solve any problems that came our way.’
Susie noted the way his voice softened when he mentioned his wife, the way his eyes flicked down momentarily to their hands which were still entwined. A fraction of a second later, he let go and Susie recoiled from the action as though he’d slapped her. Alison—the ghost in his life. Alison—the woman he’d married.
She bit her tongue to stop herself from asking the question that was burning in her heart. She didn’t want to cause him any extra stress but then she remembered that he’d started this twenty-questions game and had agreed she was entitled to some questions of her own.
She took a deep breath and said softly, ‘What was she like?’
He waited so long to answer that for a moment she didn’t think he was going to. She regretted asking him. The last thing she wanted to do was to cause him extra pain, but it was too late to retract it.
‘She had short blonde hair and brown eyes.’ His words were stilted as though it pained him to remember. ‘She always brought out the best in people, finding their weaknesses and somehow turning them into strengths. She knew this visiting professorship would be good for me and she was right. Little did she know the constant pressure of it would help me get over her death.’
Jackson finally met Susie’s gaze. ‘I’ve never spoken to anyone about her like this—not even my sisters. Before I left it was all raw but now…’ He reached for her hand again and she couldn’t have stopped him even if she’d wanted to. ‘Susie, the last woman I kissed before you was Alison.’ He paused for a moment, a small smile twitching at his lips. ‘Well, actually, it was my mother—but I mean a passionate kiss.’
Susie laughed, the tension easing out of her body. ‘I know what you meant.’
‘This isn’t easy for me,’ he confessed, his face serious once more. ‘Just as I know it’s not easy for you.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I’ll be gone in forty-eight hours. Back on the tour and then back to my life in Melbourne. Returning home is something I’ve craved for months now. Initially, I couldn’t wait to get away, now I can’t wait to get back.’
‘So you’ve said.’
‘Susie…I want to spend together whatever free time we have left. It’s only going to be an hour here or half an hour there, I know, but what do you say? I’m really looking forward to our drive on Saturday to meet your friends.’ He tried hard to interpret the expression on her face but she dipped her head, her hair falling across her cheek.
‘We both have a hectic schedule tomorrow.’ She was trying hard to carefully choose her words. She didn’t want him to think she didn’t want to spend time with him because she did, but she also needed to gauge how much time would be enough for her to hold onto her sanity. Self-preservation was a key factor in her life, especially with her track record with relationships. ‘I’ll more than likely be doing Hilda Kazinski’s next operation while you’re doing your last theatre stint of “show a
nd tell”.’
He chuckled at her wording. ‘That’s exactly how it feels sometimes.’
‘What if I pick you up around sevenish on Saturday morning? I know a nice place on the outskirts of Brisbane that serves a great breakfast.’
Jackson nodded. ‘That sounds great.’
Her phone rang. She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay right where she was, with Jackson holding her hand, smiling at her and gazing into her eyes. After a heartbeat they both moved at the same time, and Susie stood to silence the intrusion. She walked into the hall towards the phone. ‘It’s probably Kyle with his latest report on Blade Fargo,’ she murmured as she reached for the receiver. ‘Dr Monahan.’
Her eyes widened with surprise and she covered the mouthpiece. ‘It’s Walter,’ she whispered, and Jackson rolled his eyes.
‘Tell him you’re busy and you have no interest in him whatsoever,’ he suggested rather loudly.
‘Uh…sorry, Walter. I didn’t catch that.’
Walter sighed in exasperation. ‘Please, focus, Susan. I need to see you. How is Saturday morning? I can fit you in around ten-fifteen.’
‘Sorry. I’m busy Saturday. Listen, why don’t I call you next week and we can arrange a time then?’ she suggested. He listed a few more times when he was free but she rejected them all, reiterating she’d call him later. She didn’t want to break the bad news to him over the phone, deciding it would be better done in person, but with his persistence she was sorely tempted to change her mind.
‘Why didn’t you simply tell him you’re entertaining another man?’ Jackson teased when she returned. He’d made himself comfortable, kicking off his shoes and slouching back in the soft cushions. ‘He would have got the hint.’ He held out his hand and she went to him, sitting down beside him, feeling comfortable and cosy when he settled his arm around her shoulders, the television remote control in his free hand.
‘Ready to watch your brilliant skill as a surgeon?’ he asked, pressing a button on the remote.
‘I thought you were joking. We’re not really going to sit here and watch this. It goes on for two and a half hours.’
Jackson laughed and snuggled closer. ‘Sounds fine to me so long as we can order some Chinese or something. I’m starting to get hungry!’
Susie marvelled at how relaxed and at home he seemed. He was probably so sick and tired of living out of a hotel that a real home was almost something of a novelty.
Moments later the operating theatre came into focus and there she was, standing at the operating table, explaining the finer points of what she was about to do. She felt self-conscious watching herself, never having sat through a viewing of the tapes before, but with Jackson asking her questions she found herself reaching for the remote to pause it while they discussed things in more detail.
It was liberating to be able to sit down with a man and discuss a subject she was passionate about. He seemed to be really interested and the knowledge thrilled her. Finally she’d met a man who respected her as an intellectual equal, and with that knowledge Susie felt immensely happy.
Her neck hurt. As the pain sent signals to her brain Susie shifted slightly, but the pain continued. It felt as though someone was pinching her neck and she wished they’d stop. It was a mosquito, she realised, and swatted it away. No. The pain was still there.
Slowly she was drawn out of the dream state to reality. The pain in her neck still there and annoying. She must be sleeping at an odd angle. She shifted slightly, only to come up against a hard obstacle.
Had she left her books on the bed again? She kicked at them with her leg but they didn’t fall. She kicked them harder, only to hear them groan. Groan! Books didn’t groan! Susie frowned. She felt with her foot and realised with a start that it wasn’t a book but a leg!
Her eyes snapped open and she tried desperately to focus. She was in her lounge room, the television still on, hissing quietly with black and white snow. She was lying against the back of the lounge suite, her legs entwined with Jackson’s, his arm holding her possessively to his body. Jackson! Oh, no. They’d been watching her reconstruction video together.
She scrambled into an upright position, shaking him fiercely. ‘Wake up.’ She shook him. ‘Jackson. Wake up.’ With the tiny beams of light peeking from behind her thick curtains, she guessed it to be quite early in the morning.
‘Huh?’ He slowly moved, stretching languorously. His body was lean and hard as his muscles tensed firmly before he relaxed. His leg brushed hers, igniting a spark she’d been trying to repress ever since he’d arrived last night. He shifted to a sitting position beside her and peered blearily into her eyes.
‘Mmm.’ With his eyes half closed, he leant over and kissed her soundly on the mouth. ‘Hi, there.’ His voice was deep and low. ‘Guess we must have dozed off.’ He reached for her, gathering her into his arms. She resisted him, but only slightly. He nuzzled her neck. ‘You’re a cuddly girl at heart, aren’t you?’
Susie smiled. The embarrassment from their impromptu night on the lounge faded a little. How could she resist when he said such nice things? ‘What makes you say that?’
‘The way you cuddled into me last night.’ He gave her a little squeeze before glancing at the television. ‘How long did you say that video went on for?’
Susie chuckled. ‘About two and half hours. Must have been pretty boring.’
Jackson laughed, a deep rumbling sound that she felt vibrate through him. ‘Not necessarily. Perhaps we were both exhausted.’
‘It has been an incredibly hectic week,’ she replied as she went to move from his arms.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To turn the TV off. I can’t stand it any more.’
‘Why not? You’ve slept all night with it on.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, wait,’ he said, shifting to the right and sticking his leg out to the side. He was concentrating and she realised he was trying to reach the remote control with his foot. He reached down with his free arm and Susie laughed.
‘Let me get it.’
‘No. I’ve almost got it.’ He reached over further before crowing triumphantly as he snatched it up into his hand. ‘Done.’ He pointed it at the set and soon the room was plunged into silence.
It was then Susie noticed the readout on the video clock. ‘What? That can’t be right.’ She grabbed Jackson’s wrist and turned it around to read the time on his watch. ‘Ten to eight! I’m due at work in ten minutes’ time!’
Susie sprang from his arms and rushed out of the room. Moments later, Jackson could hear the shower running. He grimaced as he stood, stretching his cramped muscles again, before walking to the phone to call Richard, who was no doubt working himself up into a state.
He had no idea what Richard’s mobile number was as it was preprogrammed into his own phone. He flicked through the phone book, quickly locating the hotel’s number. What was his schedule this morning? He wasn’t quite sure but he was certain he was supposed to be somewhere in nine minutes’ time! Most of his mornings started at eight.
When the hotel operator answered his call, he asked for Richard’s room and waited, not liking what was about to happen. ‘Richard,’ he said into the receiver when the phone was picked up. A split second later he held the phone away from his ear as Richard’s voice boomed through. ‘Calm down,’ he tried. It didn’t work. He heard the shower stop and realised that Susie was going to be leaving her house very, very soon. As he’d come in a taxi last night, he had no way of getting back to his hotel—well, no way that wouldn’t take another half-hour or more. She’d have to give him a lift.
‘Richard,’ he said finally, ‘you’re wasting time. What’s my schedule?’ He listened intently, his mind working in overdrive. ‘All right. Bring me a change of clothes and a clean suit. I’ll meet you in the theatre block.’ He could at least have a shower and change there. ‘Where I am is of little importance now. Just do it, please.’ With that, he replaced the receiver. He
ading through to the kitchen, his stomach grumbled and he checked the contents of her fridge.
A few minutes later Susie came rushing into the kitchen while he finished his orange juice and bit into an apple. ‘Can I get you anything?’ he asked.
‘Yes. Get out of my house!’
‘Not a problem. Which way is the garage?’
‘What?’ Susie exploded. ‘You can’t come to work with me.’
‘Why not? I need to go to the hospital. You’re going there. What’s the problem?’
She looked at him as though he’d grown an extra head. ‘The problem, Professor, is that everyone will see you coming to work in my car, and as you’re dressed in casual clothes, they’ll put two and two together and make four!’
‘So?’
Susie threw her hands up in exasperation. ‘Typical of you. You’ll be gone tomorrow and I’ll have to live with the rumours and gossip—again.’ She didn’t have time for this. She reached into the fridge and pulled out a banana before storming out the kitchen, Jackson hard on her heels.
‘What do you mean, again? Have we been gossiped about before?’
‘Not you and me but me and Walter. Me and Greg. You guys leave and I’m the one who stays.’ She headed through the laundry to the outside door.
‘Don’t lump me in with those two morons. This is different and you know it. Nothing happened last night.’
‘You know that and I know that, but the fact remains that we’ll be seen arriving together and you’ll be leaving tomorrow.’
‘What am I supposed to do?’
‘Call a taxi and wait.’
‘I can’t. I’m lecturing at eight.’
‘Then you’re going to be late no matter what you do.’ She locked her house and headed to the garage. She spun on her heel to face him. ‘Look, Jackson, I’ve spent the past six months picking up the pieces of my life since Greg left. People still give me little pitying looks and there are only so many that I can ignore.’
‘Susie, you’re overreacting. Besides, what does it matter what people say about you? Surely you’re above all that.’