Life-After

by J. A. Laraque

  I slowly stood taking in a deep breath, inhaling the fresh sea air and exhaling out the stress. I dug my toes into the sand and turned around to look at Clara. She stood there, her hands together by her waist wearing a yellow sun dress. A smile returned to my face, her dress did not match her words. While she spoke of things about the other world she wore the dress of our memories.

  The matching ribbon tied around her hair, the flip-flops showing off her manicured toes, it was just how I remembered. It was just what I wanted to see.

  “I’ve never been one to give up.” I began. “There were times I wished things were different, but I did not want my life to end. Now my life means nothing. Everything was a lie, Clara, except us. We were real, our love was the truth. That’s all we have left now.”

  Clara placed her index finger and thumb to her lips. She was worried about me, about how I was acting, the words I said. A representation of my own feelings and doubts that is what I was seeing. I knew the Clara standing before me was not real. I was inside of my own mind, trying to repair the damage knowing soon I would die. It did not matter. Seeing Clara standing there was what I wanted and I would treat her as if she was real. It was the last gift I gave to myself and I felt I had deserved it.

  “I wanted to give up.” Clara said. “When I died, the things I saw. You have to understand this is what he wants, to weaken you, break you. Everything you have been shown was specifically done to take away your resolve. You can’t let him do this to you, David. You can still free yourself.”

  The look in her eyes and the way she spoke, it sounded the same way I would if trying to convince a dying solider that everything would be okay. I knew it was hopeless and would have preferred to be honest, but that is not how it always works. You tailor your response to the person, give them what they need, and say what they want to hear. Just as I knew to change my words dependant on the person or situation my mind knew to do it to me.

  I turned and walked to the shore. I knelt down and ran my hand through the cool water. An image of the lake by the cabin in my dream about heaven flashed in my mind, an image of a dream within a dream. What I wanted was to relive one last time of happiness from my past, but my representation of Clara was determined to stay on script. I realized this meant that I truly did not believe everything was real. There was a possibility that I was wrong.

  “Why do all of this?” I asked. “What does Richard want? If he is so powerful to control our afterlife then why not just take what he wants from us. How do you expect me to buy that he needs something from me or cannot just take our life energy for his God.”

  “I don’t have all those answers.” Clara replied. “What I know is that I was trapped just like you and was rescued. We cannot take everything Richard has said at face value, but believe me he has made attempts to stop us. Perhaps there is something special about you and you are preventing him from completing his goal.”

  Clara walked up behind me and knelt down placing her hand on my shoulder. It was warm and soft just as I remembered.

  “It’s not just about Richard.” Clara continued. “I want to save you, to be with you. Even if we are absorbed or destroyed so be it as long as we go together. I cannot lose you again, David.”

  I looked at her, she was crying. The pain in her eyes was real. I knew this because I had seen it before, in my own eyes. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her into me. All I wanted was to remain with her in my arms.

  There was a flash of light, bright and blinding. It broke me from my peace. I turned my head looking across the ocean. A mushroom cloud larger than I had ever seen was in the distance. Clara shivered in my arms. She did not raise her head, but I could tell she knew what had happened. She was expecting it.

  “He’s found us.” Clara whispered. “David, there are truths within what he shows you. Parts of your life intertwined with your hopes, dreams and fears. They play off each other, in a sense you help create the reality you experience. Heaven, Hell, it is a state of mind, your mind that he manipulates using life energy. Remember this and you will find your way out.”

  The ground shook as if the world was breaking apart. A roar turned my attention back to the sea. A tsunami raced towards us, so tall it blocked out the sun. A chilling fear returned, not because of the wave, but because I knew I was returning. Clara’s body turned cold, she was fading away.

  “I’ll always love you, Clara.” I whispered in her ear. “I no longer wish to fight for myself, but I will fight for you. I won’t give up. I promise.”

  Clara disappeared as the wave crashed upon me. I did not feel the water crushing me, what I felt was darkness embracing me. The smell of the ocean, the warmth of the sand, the light of the sun, it was all washed away by the shadows. It was the transfer process from dream to reality or from reality to dream.

  As the aching pain returned to my body I knew I had returned. It was sounds of the equipment and people whispering the in background. I could smell Lola’s perfume in the air and feel the cold steel of an examination table on my back. Before I opened my eyes I knew exactly what was happening.

  “So you are awake.” Flag said. “Good, then before we begin, do you have anything to say?”

  I was strapped to a table similar to the one Flag used on me as a child. The glass coffin-like capsule was almost identical, but instead of smaller crystals surround it, there was one large multi-sided crystal that sat just above me connected to a series of cables and a metal shaft.

  Doctor Flag stood to my right typing away on a large computer console. I could see a three dimensional representation of my body on the screen. I could not make out any of the words around it except one that read Experiment Final.

  Lola stood to my left next to Jonathan; I could see in her eyes that she did not want to be a part of what was happening. Jonathan on the other hand just stared at me as if I was nothing more than an object of curiosity, a lab rat soon to be used and discarded.

  “Yes.” I began. “I have something to say and something to ask.”

  I looked at Lola while thinking back to what Flag had said to me. During the video when the Asher stood over my body Flag had mentioned I was sending out signals, that my consciousness had left my body. My thought was, what if what I saw and experienced with Clara was real? What if my consciousness or soul did leave my body and traveled to the afterlife. Perhaps it was impossible, but it was my only way to connect one world to the other.

  “I was holding something back from everyone.” I began. “I did not say anything because I thought it was nothing but a dream. What you told me, about my grandparents, my parents, what you did to me. I shouldn’t care about what I kept from you, but I’m not a traitor. You, every one of you betrayed me and the only reason I will tell you this is because if it is real then I have something left to do.”

  I told them everything, about my death and the flashbacks of my time with Clara. I told them about Richard and the story they told me about our planet and life energy. As the story unfolded Lola was the only one to truly react to my words. To Jonathan and Flag what I said was nothing more than the ramblings of a deranged man.

  “An afterlife..?” Flag questioned. “You sound more like a disciple of the Trinity than a man of science. Perhaps to you the place you went was as you described, but if so it was just an illusion that the aliens showed you to keep you under their control. Either way your tale does not change anything. Let me explain what is going to happen.”

  Flag pressed a button on his control panel and stepped around standing next to me. I watched as the glass lid of the capsule closed above me leaving only a small opening above my head. The large crystal began to spin as each of its sides lit up a different color. It was just as it was before. Green, Yellow, Red, Purple, Orange and blue were the colors spinning above me. I could not help but wonder on their significance.

  “The life energy of the other subjects was turned into an energy weapon used to shatter the meteor above our planet.” Flag began. “Since then I realized th
is was the type of energy the aliens used. Even with the extremely little data we have on them their energy weapon attacks have taught us this much. These colors you see above you represent the different forms of life energy. Originally I believed the different colors represented different species, but since then I discovered it is not the case.

  So far we have identified five of the seven colors. Now you can only see six colors, but a seventh is there which you cannot see, the color white. White so far appeared to be the base energy that all sentient life forums are based upon. This energy lies dormant in every living being on the planet.

  Red is the representation of channeled energy that can be used as a weapon. Blue is the life energy found in non-sentient life forms such as plants. Green is the energy unique to humans. This is the color of the energy found within an awakened human. It appears that if a human is not awakened it is this type of energy that can turn a human body into usable energy. Do you understand what this means?”

  What Flag meant was that the Asher’s specifically used green life energy because it would initiate the matter to energy process within a human body. The reason we never found any human remains was because they were turned into energy and used against other humans. The reason it did not work on me was because I was already awakened.

  “As for yellow, this energy appears to be unique to the aliens.” Flag continued. “I have yet to find a reason for this energy type except to pacify awakened humans. However, I believe dependant on the energy type you can control or destroy another being. This is where you come in, David.

  We discovered the alien base ship in orbit around our moon. We speculate that the aliens are all controlled from that ship. It also appears that the signals you sent went in that direction which nullifies your idea of traveling to an afterlife.

  This modified machine that was used to awaken your dormant life energy will now awaken every ounce of life energy within your body. This process will turn you into pure energy at which point I will channel it into a weapon. The capsule you are in is connected to a weapon that will fire your released energy into space destroying the base ship and with that the weapon the aliens planned to use against us will be used to destroy them all.”

  Jonathan nodded his head in agreement. Lola stood looking at me and said nothing. Flag had one last use for me and though I hated him for what he had done a part of me could accept my fate. If I was special either through science or intelligent design then it should have been my duty to use my ability to help mankind.

  When first given my abilities I was young and stupid and used it for amusement. While Flag and the military had no right to use me the way they did, if I could end the war and stop the suffering then my life and death would have some meaning. There would be a chance for peace, a chance for the world to heal the way I hoped it would after the war. I did not want someone’s wife or mother to be killed or a child to be left alone in pain.

  Then there was what Clara had told me. If everything I had experienced since I last saw Richard was a lie then by letting go and allowing Flag to use me could mean that I was giving myself over to him. If I was special and Richard truly needed me then what I was about to do could give him the means to reach Clara and the others and destroy all the human souls he had captured.

  With all my thoughts the fact remained that I had no power to escape. I was strapped to a table inside the capsule surrounded by guards and scientists. The crystal above me spun faster and faster, the light disoriented me. I could feel something inside my body. It was a surge of energy like a rush of adrenaline. Every ounce of my being was tingling. I could feel myself slowly losing control. I knew my time was short.

  “Jonathan, just tell me something?” I asked. “Were you ever my friend? Was I just an order to follow on a mission? When I told you about Clara’s death, did you even care?”

  Jonathan was puzzled by my question. He looked over at Lola as if asking her what I meant. Her eyes gave him no answer. My body was on fire, it felt as if I was being burned alive from the inside out. The rush of energy was overtaking me. The power building up inside me was stronger than I had ever felt before. I could barley concentrate, but I wanted an answer before I died. Jonathan took a step back and shook his head.

  “Clara who..?” Jonathan asked. “I’ve never met her. I only knew Sara.”

  I could not react to his words, the energy had taken over. The feeling of flesh faded away and yet I was still aware of my surroundings. My mind tried desperately to comprehend everything that was happening but my battle for control was a losing one.

  “Something’s wrong!” Flag shouted. “There’s a feedback…! He’s…! Oh, my God!”

  I understood the feeling inside me, it was rage. Flag wanted a weapon and he had one, but it was not what he expected. For a moment I realized the power I had inside and for a moment no one else mattered. Realities blended together as I connected everything I had experienced. The answer was laid out before me but written in a language I could not understand and that caused my breakdown.

  Clara spoke about instability and that if my life energy was not stabilized I could destroy my Heaven and become trapped in my own personal Hell. My body had become a living bomb, its sole purpose to destroy the world that had brought me pain. It was not rational, it was primal and it was deadly.

  The last audible sound was Lola screaming my name as my life energy exploded tearing the bunker apart. For a brief moment I was aware of my own destructive power as I felt my energy being spread out across the planet. As the last of my humanity was ripped from me I thought about the damage and death I had caused and truthfully I no longer cared.

  I could only describe what happened next as reconstitution. If my consciousness were a vase then it had been shattered into a million tiny shards. Once again trapped in darkness I could feel my consciousness rebuild itself as if a hand were gluing back the vase piece by piece. I did not know if this was Richard’s doing, another dream or the aftereffect of my detonation. Though I had no concept of time it felt as if I was trapped in a void for eons.

  “Oh my, God..!”

  It was a scream that sounded as if it were on the other side of a vast tunnel. I could hear a woman’s voice filed with surprise and jubilation. Slowly feeling returned but I felt as if I my body had been soaking in water for years. It was cold, damp. My body felt heavy. I had no strength to move. My eyes would not open, but I could hear the woman’s voice clearer and clearer by the moment.

  “What do I do?” The woman squeaked. “Doctor, yes… I need to get the doctor.”

  Hearing the word doctor sent a chill through me. I did not know what doctor the woman was referring to. I could hear her typing on a keypad. The door opened and closed and I could hear the woman talking to someone but I did not know who it was. I tried to move and even though I could feel that I was not restrained I could not move more than a finger.

  Scent was the next sense that returned to me. There were flowers in the room I could smell them clearly as if there was a garden of them. Then there was something else, the wind. I could hear the wind blowing from a nearby window and could smell the fresh air, it smelled like summer. I concentrated on the sound and to my surprise I heard something else, something I did not expect to hear.

  “Can you hear me, Mr. Zavior?” The woman whispered in my right ear. “Don’t worry. You’re fine. You’re better than fine! Let me take this off of you.”

  The pitch black that I had seen up to that point brightened slightly. I realized something was placed over my eyes and though I still could not open them I realized that my sight had not been lost. The woman did not sound like what I expected. I had pondered if somehow Flag was able to recapture me, but the joy in the woman’s voice was unmistakable, she was happy for me.

  “The doctor is coming, David.” The woman said. “I’m Nurse Margaret, I’ve been your nurse for…well, I better wait for the doctor. I’m sorry. I’m babbling, but it isn’t every day you get to be there for something like this. I
mean they said you may never…oh, there I go again. Listen, everyone owes you. I owe you. Just hold on and she’ll tell you everything.”

  My mind was racked with thoughts about my explosion and the feeling of power and rage that I had felt. Intertwined with those feelings were others of me standing on the beach with Clara and her telling me to continue the fight. What echoed in my head the most was what Jonathan had said. He had no idea who Clara was and that just was not possible.

  I heard the door open and immediately I knew who had entered the room. I could smell her perfume. It was the same as when I was in the capsule. I forced my mouth open to call out, but no words came. Lola whispered something to the nurse who then promptly left the room. Again I tried to open my eyes but could not. There were several moments of silence before she spoke.

  “David, its Lola, you are in the hospital. I don’t know what I should say because of many factors. Because of what happened to you and the time that has past I do not want to say something that could cause you to relapse. What you should know is that you did it. Everything you sacrificed for paid off and we all owe you our thanks. I just wish Jonathan was alive to see this. He wanted to thank you in person.

  Anyway, I know who you want to see and she is on the way, but bear with me for a moment. We had placed you in containment and in the process we used we bathed you in life energy. We believed this would bring you back, but it was as if you were brain dead. Your body was paralyzed, but it just so happened that due to an electronic malfunction we were not able to return you to containment right way. It seems some it has worn off I can take care of the rest.”

  Lola’s words did not connect with what I had remembered. She spoke as if I volunteered for what was done for me and what happened had a positive outcome. I wondered if what I felt when I turned to pure energy was different than what happened. It was possible that Flag’s plan worked and I destroyed the Asher base ship or this was yet another false reality created by Richard or my own mind.