It was what had happened that weekend. He’d kept thinking about that suggestion he’d made to Mia, wondering if it had been the right thing to do. Normally, he wouldn’t have given it a second thought but it had been on his mind, day and night: should they pretend to be dating for the sake of the boys or was it tempting fate?
His mouth thinned as he slid his feet into a pair of rubber clogs. There was no chance of him becoming romantically involved with Mia or any other woman! He had learned his lesson after what had gone on with Amanda and he had no intention of placing himself in the same position again. So maybe his heart hadn’t been broken when Amanda had left him but his pride had been dented and that had been enough to put him off forming another long-term relationship. Even if he and Mia did decide to carry through with the idea, their relationship would only ever be make-believe.
He pushed open the door to Theatre, wondering why he still felt so ambivalent. As long as they both understood what they were doing, there wouldn’t be a problem.
Would there?
CHAPTER SEVEN
MIA ARRIVED EARLY for work on Monday morning. Amazingly the train had been on time and she’d been spared the usual last-minute dash from the station. At least something was going right, she thought as she made her way to the staffroom.
She sighed as she hung her coat in her locker. Lunch with her in-laws the previous day had been even worse than she had feared. Joyce and Edward had been devastated when she had told them about Harry. They had refused to believe her at first and it was only after she had shown them the results of the DNA tests that they had accepted it was true.
She and Harry had left soon after lunch. Although they usually spent the afternoon with Chris’s parents, Mia had realised that the couple had needed time on their own to come to terms with what had happened. Their goodbyes had been stilted, all the more so because Joyce had hurried away in the middle of waving them off. Although Mia sympathised with her mother-in-law, she hoped that Joyce wouldn’t allow this development to affect her relationship with Harry. Harry needed his grandparents’ love and support more than ever now.
Penny was on holiday that week but she had left the roster pinned to the notice-board. Mia grimaced when she discovered that she was covering Cardiology again. Along with the stress of breaking the news to Chris’s parents, she had found herself constantly thinking about Leo’s suggestion. Whilst she was still determined to get to know Noah, she was no longer sure if it would be wise to let the boys think she and Leo were involved. Harry, in particular, could find it upsetting to think there was another man in her life, especially when he seemed to have taken such a dislike to Leo.
Mia made her way to the unit and did the hand-over then went to check on the patients. She was surprised to find David Rimmer in the end bay. He had been discharged following his successful cardioversion and she hadn’t expected to see him again.
‘I’ll have to add your name to the coffee list if you’re going to be a regular,’ she said, smiling at him. She picked up his chart, sighing when she discovered that he had been admitted suffering from the same symptoms as before: a rapid and irregular heartbeat.
‘Milk and two sugars, please,’ he said chirpily, although Mia could tell the effort it cost him.
‘I’ll make a note of that.’ She gently replaced the oxygen mask over his face and shook an admonishing finger at him. ‘Now leave that on or it will be water not coffee for you, my lad.’
‘Yes, Mum,’ David retorted cheekily. He looked past her and grimaced. ‘Is she always this bossy, Doc?’
Mia looked round, feeling her own heart race when she saw Leo standing behind her. He was dressed in theatre scrubs, the soft green fabric outlining the powerful muscles in his chest. He looked so big and overwhelmingly male that she found herself responding in a way that shocked her.
Sex had never been a major issue in her life. She’d only slept with Steve before she had married Chris and it had been a complete disaster. That was why she’d had no qualms about marrying Chris. The fact that they’d been unable to make love because of his injuries hadn’t worried her, although Chris had fretted about it.
There had been no reason to revise her opinion either, yet she couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t affected by Leo’s nearness. All of a sudden the doubts that had plagued her all weekend came rushing back. What would happen if she found herself falling for Leo and wanting to turn fiction into fact?
Leo had no idea what Mia was thinking but he could tell there was something troubling her. He had to make a determined effort to concentrate as he replied to David’s question. ‘I really couldn’t say. However, I suggest we focus on you rather than on Sister Adams.’
His tone was chilly and he cursed himself when he saw the younger man’s face fall. There really hadn’t been any need to speak to David that way but he’d reacted instinctively. The suggestion that he knew Mia well enough to comment on her behaviour had hit a nerve, coming on top of his earlier thoughts.
He deliberately cleared his mind of any more foolishness as he explained to David that he was going to try another round of cardioversion. He wasn’t attracted to Mia and he didn’t intend to be attracted to her either. He had enough to contend with without complicating matters any more.
‘But what’s going to happen if it does it again?’ David said, anxiously. ‘You can’t keep on stopping and starting my heart, can you?’
‘No,’ Leo agreed. ‘We’ve already tried various combinations of drugs and they’ve been less than successful so it could be that an ICD is the answer.’
‘What’s that?’ David asked him, frowning.
‘An implantable cardioverter defibrillator,’ Leo explained dryly, and smiled. ‘You can see why it’s called an ICD for short.’
‘Too right!’ David rolled his eyes and Mia laughed.
Leo cleared his throat, determined to ignore the effect the sweetly husky sound was having on him. So what if his blood pressure had risen a couple of notches and his breathing did seem a little more laboured than usual? He was a normal healthy male, with normal healthy appetites—he would have responded the same way to any woman.
‘Basically, an ICD is used to treat anyone who has a dangerously abnormal heart rhythm.’ Leo made himself focus on what he was saying. It wasn’t like him to become distracted when dealing with a patient and he didn’t intend to let it to happen again. ‘Size-wise, it’s slightly bigger than a matchbox and consists of a pulse generator plus one or more electrode leads, which are placed in the heart via a vein.’
‘How does it work?’ David wanted to know.
‘The device constantly monitors your heart rhythm. If it detects a dangerous rhythm it can deliver three different treatments to restore the heart to a normal rhythm. Pacing, which is a series of rapid, low-voltage electrical impulses, cardioversion, which is one or more small electric shocks, or defibrillation which consists of one or more larger electric shocks.’
‘I see. How is it fitted, though?’ David grimaced. ‘You said that the electrode leads are placed in the heart so does that mean I’d need an operation?’
‘Yes.’ Leo could tell that David wasn’t happy at the thought of undergoing more surgery. David had been in and out of Theatre many times and most of the operations he’d had had entailed a lengthy stay in hospital afterwards. He hastened to reassure him.
‘However, the device will be inserted under a local anaesthetic, although you will need to be sedated as well. It usually takes about an hour or so and then we will keep you in overnight so we can check it’s working properly.’ He shrugged. ‘After that, you’ll need to have it checked occasionally but that’s all.’
‘Really!’ David exclaimed. He turned to Mia and grinned. ‘Reckon the doc is telling me the truth or has he missed out the gory bits in case he scares me?’
‘I’m sure Mr Forester wouldn’t m
islead you.’ Mia glanced at him and Leo felt his blood pressure perform another of its new tricks, shooting skywards before he could stop it. It was all he could do to maintain a neutral expression as she continued in the same husky tone that was having such a devastating effect on him.
‘He strikes me as someone who always tells the truth, no matter how unpalatable it is. I think you can trust him, David. I do.’
Mia wasn’t sure why she had said that. Maybe she had wanted to reassure David but she knew it wasn’t the only reason. She waited in silence while Leo explained to David that he would be taking him down to Theatre that afternoon. She did trust Leo and it was a surprise to discover she felt this way.
Growing up in care had made her wary of trusting anyone. Every time she’d formed an attachment to one of the care workers, they had either left or she had been sent to yet another foster-home. The experience had made her develop a protective shell and she had never allowed anyone inside it. It wasn’t until she had met Chris that she had felt able to lower her defences. She had trusted Chris and now it appeared she trusted Leo too. It was unsettling to admit it.
Mia roused herself when she realised that Leo had finished. Leaning over, she once again fitted the oxygen mask over David’s nose and mouth. ‘Keep that on and I’ll fetch you a cup of coffee. Deal?’
‘Deal!’ David high-fived her and settled back against the pillows. He looked exhausted as they moved away from the bed.
‘I hope the ICD works,’ she said quietly as they made their way to the office. ‘He looks worn out.’
‘No wonder, after what he’s been through,’ Leo replied in a tone that made her glance at him.
Colour swept up her face when she saw the awareness in his eyes because she knew what lay behind it. It was that comment about trusting him that was causing him to look at her this way. Why in heaven’s name had she said it? It had been a stupid thing to say...a stupid thing to think in the circumstances. She couldn’t afford to trust him until she was sure what his intentions were towards Harry.
Panic shot through her as she went into the office. Had she allowed herself to be lulled into a false sense of security? What if Leo hadn’t been telling her the truth and intended to try and claim Harry? They said that blood was thicker than water and if Harry was his son he could be planning to gain custody. The thought was more than she could bear and she swung round.
‘What I said just now was purely for David’s benefit.’ She carried on when Leo said nothing. ‘Whilst I trust you to do whatever is best for your patients, I have reservations when it comes to Harry.’
‘You still believe that I might try to gain custody of him?’ He sounded so cold that Mia shivered.
‘I think it’s possible—yes.’
‘Then all I can do is repeat what I’ve already told you. I have no intention of trying to take Harry away from you, neither do I intend to allow you to take Noah away from me.’ He pinned her with a cold-eyed stare. ‘The old cliché about trust being a two-way street is very true, especially in this instance. I have to trust you, Mia, just as you have to trust me, whether we like the idea or not.’
He didn’t say anything else as he turned and walked out of the door. Mia bit her lip, wondering why she felt like crying. There’d been something beneath the ice in Leo’s voice, a kind of raw hurt that had touched her. She knew that she had upset him, hurt him, wounded him, the person he was, not the man he portrayed to the world. Beneath that coldly aloof exterior was a warm and loving man, a man who was as afraid to open his heart as she had been before she’d met Chris.
Her breath caught. She and Leo had more in common than just the boys, it seemed.
* * *
Leo spent the afternoon seeing patients at the private practice in Harley Street he shared with several other top-notch consultants. They covered a wide range of specialities from cardiology to oncology and were kept incredibly busy even in these straitened times.
People were prepared to spend money on their health and his view was that it was their decision, although, unlike some of his colleagues at the practice, he didn’t subscribe to the theory that the service he provided to his private patients should be any better than what he offered to his NHS patients. He put one hundred per cent effort into helping all his patients.
His last appointment had phoned to cancel so he had an early finish for once. He drove home, wondering if he should make the most of the time and take Noah out. There was a new animated film showing at the cinema and he was sure that Noah would enjoy it...or at least he thought he would.
He sighed as he parked in the driveway. Noah had become so withdrawn since the accident that it was impossible to predict what he liked any more. Whenever he suggested they should do something, Noah always agreed but he never showed any real enthusiasm. He seemed happier at home, playing in his bedroom, in fact. Leo had tried to draw him out but he had failed to get to the root of the problem. Noah just shook his head whenever Leo asked him if he was worried about anything.
He knew that he needed to find out what was wrong but he didn’t know how to set about it. Maybe Mia could suggest something?
He frowned as he let himself into the house. It was worrying to realise that he was starting to think of Mia in those terms. She might be Noah’s biological mother but she knew absolutely nothing about him. She hadn’t walked the floor, night after night, when Noah was a baby, trying to get him off to sleep. She hadn’t been there when Noah had chickenpox and cried continuously. She hadn’t even been there when Noah was rushed into hospital following the crash, so ill that the doctors had given him only a thirty per cent chance of surviving.
He had gone through all that on his own, walked the floor with him, soothed and comforted him, cried at the thought that he might lose him. So why on earth did he imagine that Mia could offer any advice? Was he looking for a way to create a stronger bond between them, to draw her deeper into his life? And if so, why? Was it really for the sake of the children or for himself?
Leo had no idea what the answers were to any of those questions and it troubled him to feel so unsure. He liked his life to be free of uncertainties but in this instance it wasn’t possible. He drove the questions from his mind with a ruthless determination that made him feel a little better. So long as he could master his own thoughts he would be fine.
Noah was in the kitchen, eating his tea. Mrs Davies, their housekeeper, collected him from school each day and stayed with him until Leo got home. She smiled when she saw him coming in.
‘You’re nice and early for a change, Doctor. Noah’s not finished his tea yet.’
‘My final appointment cancelled,’ Leo explained, trying not to feel hurt when Noah didn’t look up. Before the accident, Noah would have come running to greet him but these days he barely acknowledged him. It was as though the child blamed him for what had happened even though Amanda had been driving. Maybe he would mention it to Mia, he decided. If she could shed any light on Noah’s behaviour it would be worth the risk.
Leo wasn’t sure exactly what risk he was taking and refused to speculate. Drawing out a chair, he sat down beside his son and ruffled his hair. ‘Did you have a good day at school?’
Noah nodded as he spooned spaghetti hoops into his mouth and Leo bit back a sigh. It was obviously not one of Noah’s better days if he was refusing to talk to him. He persevered, determined to break down the barriers the child had erected between them. He loved Noah with all his heart and he couldn’t bear to think there was something wrong with him and not be able to do anything about it.
‘I thought we could go and watch that new film that’s on the cinema seeing as I managed to get home early. What do you think? It’s another one about that panda and you loved the first one, didn’t you?’
Noah looked up, his expression betraying the tiniest hint of enthusiasm. ‘Do we have to go in the car?’
‘Nope.’ Leo grinned, determined to make light of Noah’s aversion to going anywhere by car. This was something he did understand, only too well. It was an effort to clamp down on the rush of anger at the thought of what Amanda had done but he’d be damned if he would upset Noah when he had finally made a breakthrough. Anyway, presenting a pleasant face to the world was a skill he needed to develop if he wasn’t to completely alienate Harry.
Thinking about Harry reminded him of all the upset that was going to happen when Noah found out the truth about who his parents actually were. Not for the first time, Leo wished that he had left well alone and never started this. He and Noah could have carried on the way they’d been, and Mia and Harry could have done the same. They’d have remained oblivious of the true facts and that would have been far better for all of them.
Wouldn’t it?
‘We’ll go on the bus. It stops right outside the cinema so there’s no point taking the car and getting stuck in traffic.’ Leo adopted a deliberately upbeat tone, not wanting Noah to suspect anything was wrong. So maybe he wasn’t sure if it would have been better for him if Mia had never found out about the mix-up but that was his problem. If he and Mia had never met then he would never have felt he was missing out, would he?
He hurried on, refusing to dwell on that thought. ‘Tell you what—we’ll have an ice cream before the film starts, if you fancy it.’
‘Yes!’ Noah’s face lit up. Pushing his plate away, he shot to his feet and went haring out of the kitchen to get ready.
‘He’s not finished his tea,’ Mrs Davies said, shaking her head.
The Motherhood Mix-Up Page 7