The Motherhood Mix-Up

by Taylor, Jennifer

  ‘It must have been horrendous for you.’

  The sympathy in his voice brought tears to her eyes and she blinked them away. ‘It was. Harry had just turned three and all I could think about was that now he would grow up without a father. I know how it feels not to have a family and it broke my heart to think that Harry would miss out on so much.’

  ‘Did your father die when you were young?’ Leo asked, and she shook her head.

  ‘No. Or, rather, I don’t think he did.’ She saw him frown and realised that she would have to explain. Her tone was brisk because she didn’t want him to think that she was looking for sympathy. ‘I never knew my father. He was well off the scene by the time I was born. I don’t know that much about my mother either as I was taken into care when I was eighteen months old and had very little contact with her after that.’

  ‘Good heavens!’ Leo exclaimed. ‘I had no idea that you’d had it so tough.’

  ‘There’s no reason why you should have known,’ she countered. ‘Anyway, it’s all in the past. It doesn’t affect me now.’

  ‘Oh, I think it does.’ He looked at her and Mia shuddered when she felt the intensity of his gaze envelop her like a physical force. ‘The way you were brought up has made you the person you are today, Mia. It’s one of the reasons why you’re such a good mother, in fact.’

  He paused and she steeled herself for what he would say next. ‘I only wish that you’d been around when Noah was born. It would have made the world of difference to him, I’m sure.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘SO, IS THERE anything you’d like to ask me, David?’

  Leo waited while the younger man gave it some thought. It was Friday morning and a slot had unexpectedly become vacant in Theatre. As soon as he had found out, he had contacted David Rimmer and offered him the chance to have the ICD fitted. The sooner it was done the better, in his opinion.

  ‘I don’t think so.’ David frowned as he turned to Mia. ‘Is there anything else I need to know, do you think?’

  ‘No. I think Mr Forester has covered everything, David.’ She squeezed the young man’s hand. ‘My advice to you is to let him do what he does best—mend wonky hearts!’

  David laughed, obviously relieved to be given such straightforward advice. Leo smiled too, although his own feelings were far more complicated. Ever since Mia had revealed what a difficult time she’d had growing up, his emotions had swung from one extreme to the other.

  Whilst he admired her fortitude, he wished with every scrap of his being that she hadn’t had to experience so much unhappiness in her life. It made his own upbringing seem like a walk in the park by comparison and he found himself wondering if he was guilty of self-indulgence. Maybe his parents hadn’t smothered him in love but they had always been there for him.

  It was unsettling to find himself re-evaluating yet another aspect of his life. He pushed the thought aside while he concentrated on David. ‘As I explained the other day, you’ll be having a local anaesthetic, not a general one. You’ll be sedated as well but you will be conscious throughout the procedure.’

  ‘So basically I’ll know what’s going on but won’t be able to kick up a fuss if I don’t like it?’ David observed wryly.

  Leo laughed, very much aware that he wouldn’t have laughed a few weeks ago. He would have maintained a strictly professional front rather than encourage a patient to speak to him this way, but that had been before he’d met Mia. Meeting her had changed him. It was another disquieting thought.

  ‘That’s right. Once I have you on the table, there’s no backing out. Still, look on the bright side. The ICD will mean that you’ll see a lot less of me in the future.’

  ‘Bonus!’ David declared. ‘Although I have to admit that I’ll miss Mia. She makes a wicked cup of coffee.’

  ‘Flatterer,’ Mia retorted, laughing.

  She straightened the sheet then followed Leo to the door. He paused so she could catch him up, thinking how pretty she looked. The navy-blue colour of her uniform suited her, he decided, highlighting the chestnut lights in her hair and bringing out the glorious emerald-green shade of her eyes. His gaze ran over her as he took appreciative stock. She was neither too fat nor too thin but just perfect. It was only when he realised that she was looking expectantly at him that he rallied.

  ‘I’m not anticipating any problems. David should be back on the ward later this morning. Are his parents coming in?’

  ‘Yes. He told them to wait until after the op so it will be nearer to lunchtime before they get here.’

  ‘Good. Right, it looks like we’re good to go.’ Leo turned to leave, not wanting to linger in case it became a habit. Work was work and they’d agreed to keep it separate from their private lives. A frisson shot through him and he had to remind himself that the only private life he and Mia had revolved around the children.

  ‘Before you go, Leo, I just want to make sure what the arrangements are for tomorrow,’ she said, putting her hand on his arm.

  Leo sucked in his breath when he felt the hairs all over his body stand to attention. It was just a touch, he told himself sternly, but it was hard to think of it as just anything. ‘Tomorrow?’

  ‘When Harry comes to play with Noah.’ She frowned. ‘You are still expecting him? He’s talked about nothing else all week and he’ll be really disappointed if he can’t come.’

  ‘Of course he can come!’ Leo exclaimed. ‘I didn’t think you were keen on the idea, that’s all.’

  She sighed. ‘I wasn’t when you first suggested it but now I’ve accepted that you aren’t trying to lure Harry away, I’m fine with it.’

  ‘I would never try to lure him away from you, Mia.’ He covered her hand with his, feeling his heart leap when he realised how small and delicate it felt compared to his. An unfamiliar rush of tenderness filled him and his tone deepened. ‘I give you my word on that.’

  ‘Thank you. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.’

  Her voice had softened, the husky tones making all those pesky hairs start saluting again. Leo felt the fledgling tender feelings change to something deeper and drew in his breath. Even though he knew it was inappropriate to behave this way at work, he couldn’t help himself. It was only when he heard footsteps coming along the corridor that he managed to get a grip.

  He stepped back so that Mia’s hand slid from his arm. ‘I’ll pick Harry up around ten if that’s all right with you?’

  ‘Fine. I’ll make sure he’s ready.’

  She smiled but he could see the awareness in her eyes and knew that she felt the same as he did. He turned away, barely acknowledging the greeting as he passed one of the nurses. His head was spinning as thoughts whirled around inside it. He was attracted to Mia and she was attracted to him too but they couldn’t act upon their feelings. They had to concentrate on Noah and Harry, on making sure that what had happened at the clinic didn’t ruin their young lives.

  Leo took a deep breath as he stepped into the lift. He might want Mia but he could never have her. The sooner he accepted that, the easier it would be.

  * * *

  ‘My, my, you two looked very cosy. Do I detect a hint of romance in the air?’

  Mia started when Penny Morrison stopped beside her. Taking a deep breath, she turned to her. ‘Don’t be silly. Mr Forester and I were discussing a patient.’

  ‘Really? So that’s why you were staring into each other’s eyes.’ Penny grinned. ‘Pull the other one, Mia. That’s got umpteen bells on it!’

  Mia sighed. She knew it was pointless trying to convince Penny that she was telling the truth. After all, she and Leo had been staring at each other. She ditched that thought because she couldn’t deal with it right then. Maybe later she would be able to make sense of what had happened but not now.

  ‘You’re adding two and two and coming up wit
h five hundred. Leo and I were sorting out what time he can collect Harry tomorrow.’

  ‘Harry? And why should Leo be making arrangements to collect him?’ Penny demanded, emphasising Mia’s use of Leo’s first name.

  ‘Because Harry and Noah are friends and they want to spend the morning together,’ Mia explained, deciding it was easier to ignore the unspoken question. She would only dig herself an even deeper hole if she tried to explain how she happened to be on first-name terms with one of the consultants.

  ‘Friends? How come?’ Penny followed her into the office, making it clear that she wasn’t about to give up. ‘I mean, how did they meet? I know for a fact that Mr Forester’s son goes to a private school so it can’t have been there.’

  ‘Of course not. Harry and I happened to bump into him and Noah at a fast-food place on Monday.’ Mia shrugged. ‘We ended up going to the cinema together to see a film. Harry and Noah just seemed to hit it off, so Leo invited Harry round to play with him tomorrow.’

  ‘Fancy that. Maybe the Ice Man is human after all.’

  Penny shrugged and Mia was relieved to see that her friend had accepted her explanation. When Penny turned her attention to the reason for her visit—a timetable glitch—she breathed easier. Although she hated misleading Penny, it was vital that nobody found out what was going on. The last thing she wanted was the boys overhearing something they shouldn’t.

  Mia sat down to update David Rimmer’s notes after Penny left, wondering if it was possible to stop people finding out. At some point, she and Leo would have to tell the boys what had happened and there was no knowing how they would react. It could be that they would have to inform their schools too and the thought of more people knowing that Harry was actually Leo’s son and Noah was hers filled her with dread. The more people who knew, the harder it would be to keep it a secret.

  * * *

  It was early when Leo got up on Saturday morning. Mrs Davies didn’t come in at the weekend unless he was seeing patients at his rooms in Harley Street. Since Noah’s accident, he had tried to keep Saturdays free. Although he was aware that several of his colleagues weren’t happy with the arrangement, helping Noah overcome whatever was troubling him took precedence.

  Once breakfast was over, he sent Noah upstairs for his coat. Although they were far too early to collect Harry, he couldn’t see any point in them waiting around. He sighed, aware that he was as eager to see Mia as Noah was to see his new friend. He was acting like a teenager in the throes of his first crush...except he hadn’t acted this way when he had been a teenager! It was worrying to realise that Mia had this effect on him, especially when he knew it couldn’t lead anywhere.

  It was just after nine when he drew up outside her house. He helped Noah out of the car and ushered him up the path. Mia must have heard them because she opened the door before he could knock.

  ‘I take it that Noah couldn’t wait either,’ she said, smiling at him. ‘Harry was dressed and all ready to go by seven!’

  ‘Was he?’ Leo smiled back, trying to ignore the leap his pulse had given when she’d opened the door. Maybe he was having some sort of mid-life crisis, he mused, and that explained why he was acting so out of character. He tested out the theory as he followed her inside but he wasn’t convinced. He sighed. Maybe he should stop trying to analyse what was happening and just get on with it. ‘Good. I don’t feel as guilty now for landing on your doorstep at this hour of the morning.’

  ‘Oh, there’s no need to feel guilty. We’ve been up for ages. Still, at least it meant you didn’t catch me in my pyjamas.’

  ‘Er...no.’ Leo managed to hold his smile but all of a sudden his mind was awash with pictures of Mia in her nightclothes or, more accurately, out of them. He cleared his throat. ‘I’ll give Harry his lunch if that’s all right with you and bring him back around four?’

  ‘That’s fine.’ She looked round when Harry and Noah came racing into the room. ‘Did you hear that, darling? Leo says you can have lunch with Noah.’

  Her tone was bright and breezy, so why did Leo have the feeling that she knew exactly what he’d been thinking? He turned to the boys, eager to hide his confusion. He preferred to keep his feelings under wraps. He had always been highly successful at doing so too and it worried him to know that Mia could slip past his defences so easily.

  ‘Right, guys, let’s get going. Say goodbye to your mummy, Harry.’

  He waited while Harry gave Mia a hug, somewhat surprised when Noah hugged her as well. Noah had been so withdrawn lately, shying away whenever Leo had tried to hug him, but obviously he felt comfortable about hugging Mia.

  It was something he knew he would take on board. As he led the boys out to the car, he couldn’t help wondering if this was the turning point he’d been hoping for. Having Mia around could be exactly what Noah needed, even though the child had no idea who she really was. He sighed as he started the engine. It made it more imperative than ever that he keep a rein on his feelings. He couldn’t afford to do anything that might harm Noah’s relationship with Mia.

  * * *

  Mia set to after Leo left and got all the jobs that needed doing finished in record time. She looked around the pristine kitchen and sighed. Maybe it was easier to get the housework done without Harry constantly interrupting her but she did miss him. She glanced at the clock and grimaced: it was only eleven a.m. Leo had promised to have Harry home by four. which meant she had five hours to kill. How on earth was she going to fill in the time?

  She made herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table to drink it. When she had been in the children’s home, she had longed for time on her own, she remembered wryly. Once she had left care, she had found a flat—a bedsit really—and revelled in the fact that she had her own space at last. She had lived on her own until she had married, in fact, and had enjoyed it, but not any longer. She couldn’t bear to imagine how lonely her life would be if she didn’t have Harry.

  She stood up, refusing to sit there and think depressing thoughts. Leo had promised that he wouldn’t try to take Harry away from her and she believed him. She went upstairs to her bedroom and opened the wardrobe. She had been meaning to sort through Chris’s clothes and give them to a local charity shop and now was the perfect time to do it.

  Mia set to work, not even stopping for lunch. She hadn’t realised just how much there was of Chris’s belongings but by the time she heard a car drawing up outside, she had everything sorted. She ran downstairs, smiling as she opened the front door. ‘Hello, sweetheart. Have you had a lovely time?’

  ‘It was brilliant!’ Harry declared. ‘Noah has this huge garage and a hundred million cars. We played with them for ages!’

  ‘How wonderful.’ Mia turned to Noah. Leo hadn’t made it up the path yet as he was on his phone. It was obviously an important call because he looked very grave. She smiled at the little boy, her heart turning over when once again she was struck by his resemblance to Chris. Maybe it was the fact that she had spent the afternoon sorting through Chris’s belongings but she felt very emotional all of a sudden. ‘Did you enjoy it too, Noah?’

  ‘Yes.’ He smiled shyly up at her. ‘Harry’s my best friend and he said he wants to come and play with me again if you’ll let him.’

  ‘Of course he can,’ Mia assured him, giving him a hug. ‘And you can come and play with him too, if you want to.’

  She straightened up as Noah nodded, feeling her pulse leap when she found herself staring into Leo’s eyes. ‘Noah was just telling me what a lovely time he and Harry have had,’ she explained, trying not to read too much into the way he was looking at her, but it was impossible. To know that Leo wanted her this much was both scary and exciting.

  She hurried on, terrified that she would do something stupid. She and Leo could never be more than friends. She had to remember that and not be tempted to put her own needs ahead of the boys’. �
�Thank you for inviting Harry. He enjoyed every minute.’

  ‘It was my pleasure, Mia.’

  His voice sounded so deep as he said her name that she shivered. She turned away, her heart racing. She knew so little about desire yet that was what she was feeling. She wanted Leo, wanted him to say her name again as he kissed her, caressed her, made love to her, and the strength of her feelings shocked her. She had never wanted any man like this, had never felt this need growing inside her, consuming her. So why did she feel this way about Leo? Why did the sound of his voice saying her name fill her with such longing? She had no idea. What she did know was that she and Leo could never be lovers.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  LEO’S CHEST FELT tight as he followed Mia inside. He took a deep breath but no amount of oxygen could ease the restriction. His hands clenched as he struggled to contain the feelings that were running riot inside him. Maybe she did want him every bit as much as he wanted her but nothing was going to come of it.

  He followed her into the sitting room and looked around. He had no idea what she had been doing but she’d obviously been busy because there was a smudge of dirt on her cheek. His hand half lifted to wipe it away before he thought better of it. He didn’t dare touch her, couldn’t take that risk. One touch wouldn’t be enough—he’d want more and more, he’d want it all.

  His vision blurred as pictures danced before his eyes, pictures of him stroking and caressing every inch of her satin-smooth skin, and a groan broke from his lips. How the hell was he going to cope when the mere thought of making love to her could push him to the edge?

  ‘Leo? Are you all right?’

  The question broke into his thoughts and he rallied. ‘Sorry. I was just trying to work out what to do.’

  ‘Why? What’s happened? Can I help in any way?’