The Motherhood Mix-Up

by Taylor, Jennifer

  ‘I’d better go.’ He went to the door, pausing briefly to look at her. ‘Thanks for the drink, Mia, and for having Noah. I really appreciate it.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure,’ she murmured as she followed him out of the room. ‘Do you want me to call a taxi for you?’

  ‘There’s no need. I only managed a sip or two of the wine after I poured the first glass all over me.’

  He laughed and Mia did her best to join in, knowing it was expected. Leo was as keen as she was to put what had happened behind them. She saw him out then went back inside, trying not to think about the fact that he probably regretted it. After all, he could have his pick of women, women who were far more beautiful and socially acceptable than her. Maybe he had wanted to kiss her but it hadn’t meant anything to him. Not really. Certainly not as much as it had meant to her.

  * * *

  The next week flew past. Between his NHS commitments and his private work, Leo was hard pressed to keep up. Normally, he had no difficulty fitting everything in but, for some reason, he found himself struggling. Maybe it was the fact that he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Noah before he had to tell him about the mix-up, but there didn’t seem to be enough hours in a day. He knew that he was fast reaching a point where he would have to do something about it but he kept putting it off. Too much was happening in his private life without him making changes to the way he worked as well.

  Mia was no longer covering the cardiology unit. Sister Thomas was back, briskly efficient as she took charge once more. Leo had always valued her no-nonsense approach yet he found himself missing Mia’s gentle kindness. Ward rounds were back to being slickly efficient affairs, carried out with the minimum fuss and the maximum speed, and he reacted accordingly. He could feel himself slipping back into his old ways, becoming cold and distant once more with the patients and the staff, and he hated it. However, without Mia there to strike the right balance, there was little he could do.

  The fact that Mia had such power over him was very hard to accept. Although he longed to see her, he didn’t make any attempt to contact her. He needed time to get over what had happened, time to allow the memory of that kiss to fade. What he mustn’t do was put himself in the same position again. Mia had made it clear how she felt about them becoming involved and he agreed with her.

  The weekend rolled around and Noah seemed particularly restless. It was the start of the half-term holiday and Leo had managed to book a week off work so he could spend some time with him. He had been planning to take Noah to their cottage in Sussex. Noah loved it there, although they hadn’t been able to go very often because of the pressure of work. Leo decided to make it a surprise and tell him on the Saturday morning but the child woke several times on Friday night, screaming after he’d had a nightmare.

  Although Leo did his best to find out what was wrong, Noah refused to tell him. He was tired and listless on Saturday morning, and shook his head when Leo mentioned going to the cottage. After the recent improvement in his behaviour, it was extremely worrying, so much so that he set aside his misgivings and phoned Mia. If she could suggest a way to help Noah, that was all that mattered.

  She listened carefully as he explained what had gone on. ‘And nothing’s upset him at school?’

  ‘Not as far as I know.’ Leo heard the concern in her voice and immediately felt better. Knowing that he could share his anxieties with her helped. ‘The problem is that Noah won’t tell me what’s wrong. He just shakes his head when I ask him.’

  ‘It must be very difficult for you,’ she said softly, and he allowed himself the rare luxury of basking in her sympathy for a moment.

  ‘It’s not me who matters, it’s Noah,’ he said shortly, guiltily aware that he was doing what he had sworn he wouldn’t do. This wasn’t about him and how he felt: it was about Noah.

  ‘Of course. But you’re bound to be upset, Leo. I would be if it was Harry having nightmares and I had no idea what was causing them.’

  Leo sighed, realising that it was pointless trying to present an indifferent front. Mia understood him far better than anyone else had ever done. ‘You’re right, of course,’ he admitted, trying not to dwell on that unsettling thought. ‘I hate it that he’s upset and that I can’t do anything about it.’

  ‘Would it help if he spent some time with Harry, do you think?’

  ‘It might do, although it doesn’t seem fair to land you with this problem, Mia.’

  ‘Rubbish! I want to help and not just because of who Noah is. He’s such a lovely little boy and it’s a real shame that he’s having to go through something like this.’

  ‘That’s what hurts so much, the thought that he’s unhappy and yet I have no idea what’s causing it.’

  ‘Then let’s make arrangements for him and Harry to get together. They get on so well, don’t they, and it might help to take Noah’s mind off whatever’s troubling him. When would suit you best? I’m off work next week because it’s the half-term holiday so you choose whichever day is best for you. I take it that Noah’s off school as well?’

  ‘He is,’ Leo said, his mind racing. Mia was right because the two boys did get on extremely well. It was rather surprising really as Noah hadn’t made any friends since he’d started school. However, there seemed to be a definite connection between him and Harry.

  He came to a swift decision, pushing aside any doubts he had about the wisdom of what he was about to suggest. This wasn’t about him but Noah, he reminded himself. And he would do anything to help him.

  ‘Actually, I was planning to take Noah to our cottage in Sussex. It’s right next to a farm and he loves seeing the animals. I mentioned it to him this morning but he shook his head. However, I’m sure he’d change his mind if Harry came as well.’

  ‘Oh. I’m not sure...’ Mia tailed off and Leo immediately realised what the problem was.

  ‘Obviously, you’re invited too, Mia! Sorry. I should have made that clear.’

  He took a deep breath, trying to control the thunderous beating of his heart. This was all completely above board, he told himself firmly. He had invited Harry purely because having him around might help Noah. It certainly wasn’t some sort of cunning plan to spend time with Mia! He hurried on, not wanting to examine his motives too closely in case he discovered they were flawed.

  ‘It’s got three bedrooms. One for you, one for me and the boys can share. Please say you’ll come, Mia. It’ll make the world of difference to Noah to spend some time with you and Harry.’

  * * *

  The cottage was chocolate-box-perfect. Tiny mullioned windows, a thatched roof, roses—or rather the remains of roses—around the door. Mia sighed with pleasure as Leo drew up outside.

  ‘It’s beautiful. I didn’t think places like this actually existed.’

  ‘It belonged to my godmother. She left it to me in her will.’ Leo switched off the engine and turned to smile at her. ‘I used to love coming here when I was a child. My parents travelled a lot and I spent a lot of school holidays here with Deborah.’

  ‘It must have helped make up for the fact that you couldn’t spend them with your parents,’ Mia suggested, and he shrugged.

  ‘It never bothered me, to be honest. I was sent away to school when I was seven so I was used to not seeing very much of them.’

  He got out of the car and after a moment’s hesitation Mia followed him. She helped Noah and Harry out of the back, thinking about what he had said. She couldn’t imagine sending Harry away to school and not seeing him every day, although Leo seemed to think it was completely normal. It worried her that their views were diametrically opposed. There was no way that she would agree if Leo planned to send either Harry or Noah away to boarding school.

  Mia squared her shoulders as she herded the children up the path. This was something they obviously needed to discuss, although there was no way
that she would change her mind. Harry and Noah were not going to be sent away to school, no matter what Leo said.

  Leo unlocked the door, ducking his head as he passed beneath the lintel. Mia stepped inside and looked around, loving the inside as much as she loved the outside.

  A tiny vestibule led straight into a sitting room packed with original features. A low ceiling complete with old oak beams, a huge fireplace set with logs. The floor was made from what she assumed was local stone, softened by an eclectic mix of rugs in shades of red, green and gold. A huge squashy sofa and a couple of armchairs bore the hallmarks of many years of use but that merely added to the charm of the place and she smiled in delight.

  ‘It’s absolutely gorgeous, Leo! If I owned a place like this I couldn’t bear not to live here permanently.’

  ‘It is lovely,’ he agreed, looking around. ‘I haven’t changed anything since Deborah died. I suppose it’s silly but I wanted Noah to be able to enjoy the cottage the way it was when I was a child.’

  ‘It’s not silly at all,’ Mia said, touched by the sentiment. She ran her hand over a faded chintz cushion. ‘If you’d bought new furniture you might have been tempted to nag Noah about not damaging things.’

  ‘That’s it exactly.’ He smiled at her, his grey eyes holding a warmth that made her heart race. ‘I was always getting told off for doing something or other when I was at home—spilling a drink on some priceless rug or scuffing an antique chair-leg. However, life here was far more relaxed.’

  ‘It sounds as though it was a real haven for you,’ Mia said quietly, and he sighed.

  ‘It was. This was the one place where I always felt completely happy.’

  It was such a sad thing to say that tears came to her eyes. She blinked them away but not quickly enough to stop Leo noticing.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he said in concern, coming over to her.

  ‘Nothing. I’m just being silly.’ She turned to the boys and smiled. ‘Why don’t you two go on upstairs? Can you show Harry your bedroom, Noah? If it’s big enough maybe you two can share it.’

  The idea was met with whoops of delight. Mia laughed as the two boys went thundering up the stairs. ‘I hope you haven’t spent a fortune redecorating the bedrooms. That pair are obviously going to make the most of being here.’

  ‘I haven’t changed a thing upstairs or down,’ Leo assured her, and she shivered when she heard the grating note in his voice. Had he guessed that her tears had been for him, because she hated to think that he had been unhappy as a child? Mia knew it was true, knew also that he was deeply moved by the idea. Maybe they had agreed to focus on the boys but they couldn’t pretend that they didn’t feel anything for one another.

  ‘Good. Now, how about a cup of tea? I don’t know about you but I’m parched.’

  ‘Lovely. I’ll leave you to make it while I bring in the bags,’ he said smoothly.

  Mia went into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water. She placed it on the hob then looked round, taking determined stock of the sunny yellow-painted cupboards and blue and white crockery arranged on the old dresser, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t blank out the thought that she and Leo had a lot in common. Her childhood had been less than perfect too and it seemed to forge an even stronger bond between them. She sighed. It was going to make it that much harder to keep her distance.

  * * *

  Leo took the cases upstairs, not allowing himself to linger as he closed the door to the room Mia would use. It was a pretty room with a wonderful view over the garden to the river but there was no point thinking about how much he would love to wake up and enjoy it with her. He and Mia weren’t going to share the room. They weresn’t going to be lovers. If he said it often enough then maybe—just maybe—the thought would imprint itself in his head.

  Mia had the tea made by the time he went downstairs. She looked round as he went into the kitchen and he felt his heart give a funny little jolt. It was as though it had momentarily forgotten how to work properly, which would have been a worrying thought in other circumstances. However, Leo was aware that the temporary arrhythmia was due to something other than cardiac malfunction.

  ‘I’ve left your case in your room,’ he told her, sitting down at the table because his legs felt decidedly shaky all of a sudden. He cleared his throat, determined to get a grip on himself. ‘I’ve given you the room at the back. You have a wonderful view down to the river from there.’

  ‘It sounds lovely.’ Mia poured the tea. She brought the cups over to the table and sat down. ‘I couldn’t remember if you took sugar.’

  ‘Not for me, thanks.’ He got up to fetch the sugar basin, pushing it towards her.

  ‘No, thanks. I take sugar in coffee but not in tea.’

  She took a sip of her tea and he looked away, not wanting to put his heart through any more workouts by watching her beautiful lips purse around the rim of the cup. He added a heaped spoonful of suger to his tea, almost gagging when he discovered how sweet it tasted. He pushed the cup aside, suddenly conscious of the silence. Normally, he wouldn’t have given it a second thought; in truth, he would have relished the fact that he didn’t have to make conversation. However, it was different when he was with Mia. He was afraid that if he didn’t occupy his thoughts, they would find something to occupy themselves!

  ‘Fingers crossed the weather forecast is wrong,’ he said hastily. ‘It’s supposed to rain for the next few days, heavily too.’

  ‘Let’s hope they’ve got it wrong,’ she agreed, glancing out of the window.

  Leo’s hands clenched as he found himself admiring her profile. How had he ever thought she was ordinary looking? he wondered in amazement as his gaze travelled from the smooth sweep of her brow to the delicate curve of her chin. Although he had known many women who were far more noticeably beautiful, Mia’s beauty stemmed not just from how she looked but from who she was. She was beautiful inside as well as out, and the combination touched something inside him, a part of him that he had never been aware of before.

  ‘Still, if it does rain, we’ll make the best of it. I expect your godmother kept a stock of board games to entertain you when you stayed with her.’

  She turned and Leo hurriedly smoothed his face into what he hoped was a suitable expression, although he couldn’t be sure he had hit the mark. ‘She did. All the old favourites too—snakes and ladders, Ludo, tiddlywinks,’ he said, his voice grating just a little because it was impossible to get every tiny bit of himself under control.

  ‘Tiddlywinks? Oh, Harry will be pleased. He loves tiddlywinks. In fact, he’s a bit of demon at it and usually wins!’

  Her laughter was overly bright and Leo felt his heart lurch again. Could she feel it too, feel the tension that filled the air? He hoped she could yet also prayed she couldn’t because it would only complicate matters. If he knew that Mia felt the same as he did then how would he stop himself doing what he wanted and take her to his bed?

  His head began to pound at the thought so it was a relief when the boys reappeared. They were starving, they declared, and needed something to eat. Mia laughed as she got up and went to sort out some lunch for them. Leo watched them, listening to the interplay between her and the children as they helped her make a mound of sandwiches. Although Harry did most of the talking, Noah wasn’t shy about making his views known. He looked so animated and happy, so different from how he had been at home that Leo felt his heart suddenly ache.

  He loved Noah with every scrap of his being but he couldn’t draw a response from him like Mia could. It made him wonder if he was right to hold onto him. Maybe Noah would be better off living with her. Not only would he be with his real mother but he’d have Harry too, the brother he would never have if he stayed with Leo.

  Leo felt a knifing pain run through him. He had sworn he would do whatever it took to make Noah happy but could he keep th
at promise if it meant he would have to give him up?

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ‘NOW, YOU ARE to stay well away from the river. Understand?’

  Mia waited until both Harry and Noah had promised that they would do as she said then opened the back door, smiling as she watched them race down the garden. Although the day was very overcast, the promised rain hadn’t materialised yet so the children may as well run off some steam. At least they’d have had some exercise if they did end up playing more board games later on.

  She went back to the stove and added more bacon to the pan. From the sounds coming from upstairs, Leo was in the shower so she would get breakfast ready for him. He appeared a few minutes later, pausing in the doorway as though taken aback by the scene that met him. Mia felt a little colour run up her cheeks when it struck her that he might not appreciate her taking over. After all, it was his cottage and she was merely a guest.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she said quickly. ‘The boys were hungry so I made them breakfast.’ She shrugged. ‘It seemed silly not to make some for you as well.’

  ‘Of course I don’t mind,’ he declared, grinning at her. ‘I may be a dab hand with a scalpel but I’m no great shakes when it comes to wielding a knife for the culinary arts. I’m truly grateful that I won’t have to eat my own cooking!’

  Mia laughed, feeling her unease melt away. ‘Ah, so that’s your one failing, is it? You can’t cook?’

  ‘One failing?’ He crooked a brow as he helped himself to coffee. ‘You’re far too kind, Mia. I’ve a lot more failings than that, believe me.’

  His grey eyes met hers and she looked away when she felt her heartbeat quicken. She busied herself with their breakfast, trying not to think about what other faults he could lay claim to. Even if she tried her hardest, she couldn’t think of any herself and it was worrying to know that she held him in such esteem.

  She finished cooking and took the plate over to the table. ‘I hope you’re hungry. I may have overdone it on the bacon.’