A Question of Love (Questions For A Highlander Book 1)

by Angeline Fortin

  The second realization was that William had married her for one simple purpose. It was not the duty of bearing him an heir. As she had come to suspect, she was nothing but an object of ornamentation to him, indeed a living trophy for him to show off, much as the display he had created in their home from his collection of fine antiques, art and furnishings. When William Ashley-Cooper had come to New York with his father years ago, his purpose had been to obtain “things” that bespoke his wealth and influence. Evelyn was merely one of them. He had followed her to England, engaged himself to her and added her to his collection. More and more he treated her as such. He paraded her and their son before Society much as he showed off his new plumbing and electric lighting.

  She became a thing rather than a person.

  Oh, it began simply enough. The earl chose all Eve’s clothing from style to fabric and then even went so far as to instruct her maid which outfit to lay out each day, and instructed her hairdresser on a more fashionable or flattering hairstyle. It had chafed a bit but Eve had let it pass not wanting to cause unnecessary ripples in their otherwise peaceful life. Subsequently, the control that he asserted over her grew. As time went by, it expanded to encompass her entire life. He determined where she could go, whom she could socialize with. He became obsessive fixated with her behavior and its reflection on him.

  His countess must be perfect.

  He insisted upon it.

  Obsessively.

  When she tried to rebel or even misspoke in some social faux pas, he would have her meals withheld, restrict her freedoms or often keep her son from her. On numerous occasions he had locked her in her room for days at a time before having her maid let her go, a maid chosen by William for her loyalty to him alone.

  Never one to bow down quietly, Eve tried again and again to talk reason to her husband. To explain to him nobody expected her to be perfect. To insist she was capable of making her own choices. Receiving little reaction to logic, Eve had railed at him fervently over his treatment of her. Strangely, his manner to her never roused itself to anger; William was ever passive. Her arguments became many, his punishments coldly severe. Over time, they became more and more bizarre. There had been a time she had shaken the American ambassador’s hand instead of offering hers daintily. Her maid had delivered twenty slaps to her open palm with a leather strap while William looked on with cold ferocity. Once, when she hadn’t curtsied deeply enough to a duke, he had had her bound in a submissive bow with her cheek to the floor for a full night, the skirts of her courtly gown spread on the floor around her. He was as a maleficent schoolmaster and she his unwilling student.

  Without Lawrence, her little Laurie, Eve felt as if she would have truly gone insane. Though William considered him a prime reflection of himself and his achievements, Laurie was Eve’s greatest joy, so adorable with his blond curls and green eyes. The only thing that might have made him more perfect in her eyes would have been if his hair were much darker and his eyes a mossier green. When thoughts would raise themselves, Eve banished them firmly. Nothing could change the hell that her life had become.

  In the fall of 1890, they had taken up residence in Manhattan while the earl expanded his collections with American works of art. They lived in the house William had bought during their engagement, in the low 800’s of Park Avenue, not far from her parents’ 5th Avenue residence, yet she might as well have still been living in a different country. She might see her family at balls and dinners, but never alone. Through threat and action, she had become engulfed by that world until there was very little of herself left beneath the polish that the Earl of Shaftesbury had cultivated.

  Posture: perfect. Voice: cultured, gracious. Actions: refined.

  Eve had become but a shell of the girl she had once been.

  His departure to Italy on a business trip that February had been a blessing.

  His failure to return, a miracle.

  But in the year since his death, her hopes for the future had not come to fruition.

  The hopes that things would change, that she might find her old self once more. A year of mourning had not given her a return of any of those things.

  Even after all this time, she had not been able to emerge from the persona that William had erected around her. She had withdrawn into herself. She hadn’t been able to find herself, the girl she had once been. If anything, she was even more restrained than before. Instead of feeling free, as she was sure she should, she had been unable to break through the years of training she had been given and punishment she had suffered.

  The façade he had built remained strong.

  Cultivated perfection.

  Chapter 8

  Following the Crown’s investigation into the earl’s disappearance and assumed death, Eve and Laurie had been summoned by Queen Victoria to return to England. Her council had reviewed the findings and confirmed its conclusion. William’s title and properties had been conferred to Laurie. Eve had been granted position as his legal guardian and trustee of the estates since William had no other surviving family. The Queen had insisted that they reside in Britain at any of the earldom’s properties until Laurie reached his majority, so Eve could not even return to New York for more than a long visit.

  Forced by the Queen’s hand to stay in England, Eve had immediately let William’s entire staff go from each of his properties including Saint’s Haven and hired all new servants that she felt she could trust and rely on, none who knew of the humiliations William had rained on her. People she could trust to care for her son.

  Her little son, just five years old, was the 13th Earl of Shaftesbury, one of the oldest titles in England. She was determined that he would become the best one ever. To that end, she had hired a tutor and personally saw to his education several hours a day, but she was also determined that Laurie would be a little boy as she had been allowed a childhood of her own. So for the first time in his young life, they played each day as well. It was the only time she was ever able to let herself go even a bit. Eve taught him to ride his first pony – a luxury William would never have allowed since he despised riding horseback, gave him his own little bow and quiver full of arrows, and was determined to travel soon to Scotland to begin his education in her favorite sport – golf.

  Since the thought of travelling had been on her mind at that time, it had seemed almost as if the hand of fate had stepped in when her dear friend Abygail Merrill from her boarding school days, now Lady Richard MacKintosh since her marriage, had come to Dorset seeking a favor of her old school chum. Abby and Richard were staying not far from Saint’s Haven at her grandmother’s estate in Deal for the laying-in of her second child. Her first pregnancy, it seemed, had ended in a difficult delivery prompting the couple to stay closer to London and its more experienced doctors for this next event.

  When she had arrived, Abby had begged Eve to travel to Edinburgh for her. Two of Richard’s younger brothers had recently become engaged to a pair of sisters. Coline and Ilona Roper were the daughters of Baron Teynham, Abby had explained, a very popular family in Edinburgh. The MacKintosh family, headed by the Earl of Glenrothes, wanted to hold a full-scale formal ball and house party at their family’s ancestral castle, Raven’s Craig Castle, to celebrate the engagement. It would be the height of the Edinburgh Season. Dinner, dancing, et cetera. However, the girls had no female relatives capable of handling such a large scale affair and none of the other men in the family were married. Abby herself was unable to undertake the entirety of the task due to her delicate condition and imminent labors.

  The only one she trusted to see it done properly was the Countess of Shaftesbury. As incentive, Abby tempted Eve with her Edinburgh townhouse and the carte blanche the Earl of Glenrothes had proffered for the event. Anything Eve wanted would be hers.

  Eve had been undecided, perhaps even scared, if she were honest with herself. Go out in public? Back into Society? Nerves raced through her body. How could she put herself in a situation where this hated façade would be at its
worse? It was one thing to be like that when William was alive and she had no choice, but now? She wanted so badly to be herself once more, but what if she only discovered this was how she was, and was forever going to be? How could she explain that to her friend?

  Her feeble attempts to argue had been brushed aside. Even now it brought a reluctant lift to her lips to recall Abby’s tenaciousness in getting Eve to agree to do it. When the offer of the townhouse had not been enough, Abby had urged her to bring her own staff and bribed her with limitless finances.

  Then had come the coaxing. “Besides, Coline and Ilona Roper are sweet girls,” she had praised the pair of young brides. “You'll like them. If you don't help us to plan this ball, they’ll have to have their great-aunt Eleanor to do the honors as hostess, since they have no other female relatives to help and none of Richard’s other brothers have wives to help out. Eleanor is nearly eighty years old! Can you imagine! She’d never be able to keep up with them.”

  “And I could?”

  “Heavens, Evelyn! Of course you can! What are you thinking of?”

  “I'm thinking ‘Why is their mother not helping them’?”

  “She ran away with their coachman when Coline was twelve,” Abby had related, straight-faced.

  Evelyn snorted in a very unladylike way, very reminiscent of her old self. It had surprised and pleased her.

  When coaxing had failed, Abby had pulled out her trump card. Guilt.

  Abby had swept a hand down her rounded figure. “I’m asking you as a friend to do this for me. Indeed, begging. I simply cannot do it. I will be here for several more weeks at least. I will barely be able to make it back to Edinburgh in time for the ball and my strength will take some time to recover after the birth.” Evelyn merely shook her head at that weakly spoken statement. The argument may have been a good one if Abby had not managed to look disgustingly healthy while she said it.

  Nevertheless, it had worked. So, here she was.

  She had been in Edinburgh for almost two months now, working diligently on planning the engagement ball for Richard’s two brothers. She was a countess, after all, an accomplished hostess not only by William’s hand but her mother’s as well. She had taken over Lord Richard MacKintosh’s Edinburgh townhouse and even brought some of her own staff along, since most of theirs had gone to England with them. She had settled in, very much at home.

  Invitations had been sent; menus for the engagement ball and for the week’s end house party had been planned and printed. George II place settings and silver had been chosen, flowers ordered, centerpieces designed and commissioned and additional staff engaged for the events at Raven’s Craig Castle. She had escorted Coline and Ilona Roper to the dressmakers, helped them receive guests for their morning calls and chaperoned them through the beginning of the Season. Their trousseaus and linens were ordered.

  She had been busy from dawn ‘til dusk. Falling into bed exhausted had been a pleasant change from the sleepless nights which had plagued her. But while she had enjoyed the tasks, there had been little opportunity to venture from her persona of perfection. In fact, the past months had only served to emphasize her social panache.

  Would she ever feel truly alive again?

  Chapter 9

  “In every moment, the quality of your life is on the line.

  In each, you are either fully alive or relatively dead.”

  Dan Millman

  As the morning sun rose, Eve left the beach and strolled back to the castle, picking her way across the low stone outlines of what was once the bailey and outbuildings of the original 15th century Raven’s Craig Castle. Hundreds of years after its construction, only the main keep and two towers remained. Eve had left Abby and Richard’s lovely townhouse on Moray Place in Edinburgh’s New Town district two days ago to come here, to Raven’s Craig Castle, to oversee the final arrangements for that evening’s ball and the house party to follow. In those two days, she had fallen in love with the historic castle. Though it was the ancestral home of the Earls of Glenrothes, the condition of the castle in years past had prompted the earldom to build a more modern estate for its primary residence at Glen Cairn. The current earl, it seemed, had taken an interest in the castle again and was in the process of restoring the portions that remained. Eve wished she could be there to see it when it was done for she felt he was doing a brilliant job of it.

  Coming through the main hall which extended from the front of the castle through to the back entrance, Eve could see through the open front doors an elegant carriage sitting at the end of the bridge that spanned the former moat. “Who has arrived, Godfrey?” she asked of the earl’s butler as she entered, offering him her bonnet, gloves and parasol. “We weren’t expecting any of the family to arrive until this afternoon.”

  “Lord and Lady Richard MacKintosh have just arrived, my lady,” the butler answered.

  “Lady MacKintosh is here?” she responded in surprise. In spite of Abby’s assurances, she hadn’t been expecting them back until long after the engagement ball was over. “Where have you put them?”

  “She has made herself quite at home in the rear drawing room.”

  “Of course she has! It’s her home!” Eve admonished as she hurried into the room. “Abby!”

  “Evie!” her long-time friend returned with a wide grin as she struggled to rise from the chaise where she reclined.

  “Please don’t get up!” Eve urged as she approached.

  “What is that?” Abby asked with a wave of dismissal at Eve’s outstretched hands. “Give me a hug, silly girl. I have missed you!”

  I have missed you too! Eve thought as she awkwardly returned the embrace the other woman bestowed on her. After a moment, she sank into the hug thinking how wonderful it was to have a real friend.

  Abby gestured to the man by her side as he rose to greet Eve. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure if you have met Richard before, have you?”

  Eve replied in the negative and turned to Richard as Abby introduced her to her husband. “I was so sorry I couldn’t make it to your wedding and did not have the opportunity to meet you before, Lord MacKintosh,” Eve addressed Abby’s husband formally as she perched on the edge of the sofa. The refreshment tray was delivered and Eve set to being a perfect hostess. “I so wanted to come, but Shaftesbury did not think it a good idea.”

  Did not think it necessary, she amended mentally. It was an argument that had cost her a week locked in her room.

  “Not at all, Lady Shaftesbury,” Richard replied. “The fault is mine for not meeting you while we were in Deal.”

  Pleasantries finished, Eve surveyed her friend. “My goodness, Abby, you look wonderful.”

  Indeed, for a woman who had given birth to twin girls just four weeks before, Abby looked remarkably vibrant, though exhausted. “Truthfully, I am quite dog-tired but I knew Richard would regret not making it back. Luckily, the train is fairly quick and we had a private car but the carriage from Edinburgh this morning was most tiring.”

  When Abby lay her head back wearily on the chaise, Eve heard Richard whisper to his wife. “We shouldn’t have come, angel. I hate to see you suffer so. We could have missed this.”

  Eve watched as Richard caught his wife’s hand and pressed a lingering kiss to her palm. He smiled at his wife with a look of such love that Evelyn's heart twisted in a pang of envy as she turned away from the couple. How would it feel to be loved so? To have the love of a man showered on you so openly and fully? She couldn’t imagine.

  “Nonsense,” Abby replied briskly. “I’m fine, but who would have ever thought that two hours in a carriage might be more trying than twelve hours on a train?”

  “The fact that you spent the entire train journey abed in our private car might have made that leg a bit more comfortable,” Richard teased.

  Abby merely laid her head back against the chaise with a sigh, her unwillingness to argue a testament to her exhaustion. “At least I had company,” she teased softly.

  Finding their tender to
nes uncomfortable, Eve offered briskly, “Well, you should go up to your room then and rest. The evening ahead will be exhausting for everyone and we have not your excuses to make. I will have a tray brought up to you and send a maid up to run you a bath.” Eve had only been at Raven’s Craig for a couple days but had already found the castle’s staff to be remarkably well trained and very friendly.

  Abby raised a hand to stop Eve’s progress to the bell pull and shook her head. “Not yet, Evie. Please sit and tell me how everything has gone so far. I must say you are looking much better than when you left London. Your color is much better. Have you enjoyed yourself?”

  “I must say it has been very pleasant having a purpose and Edinburgh is such a lovely city even this time of year. When you are rested, we can review the menus for the week and the room assignments in case there is anything you would like to change,” she offered politely.

  Waving her off, Abby smiled, “I’m sure everything will be just lovely, dear. You have excellent taste. I would not have asked you to do this otherwise. Besides, your letters kept me well informed.”

  Eve nodded, graciously accepting her assurance. “And where are the babies? I should like to see them.”

  “The nurse is having them changed,” Abby told her with a frown, studying her friend trying to understand what was different. “She took Trist up to play with Laurie as well,” she added, referring to her four-year old son Tristram.

  “I’m sure they’ll get on famously.” Eve arranged the cups on the tray. “I must say, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon after the birth.”

  “We didn’t want to miss the engagement ball.”