Cross Roads: Pick a Path

by Janaath Vijayaseelan

  I am the worst when it comes to speaking to women; I never knew how to start a conversation with them. It caught my attention that she was eating breakfast over at the bar and not at the table like the other folks, but she did not seem like much of a morning drinker. Building some courage I managed to ask her why she was eating breakfast alone at the bar, though her facial expression clearly asked me to mind my own business. I became increasingly curious, and it must be the remaining alcohol in my system but I managed to ask her if we’ve met before.

  “You mean to say that you don’t remember me? You don’t remember bumping into me last night, knocking down not only my luggage, but me too! How does one not remember being shirtless running down the hallway dancing, and yelling to Tamil songs at 2am? Clearly you were drunk, but you could have had the courtesy to help me up! Asshole.”

  I just gazed at her with a blank look; I did not recall anything she said, but it was starting to come back to me. I love the music I’ve grown listening to, the ones popular among Western society, but I loved Tamil music to another extent. I used it as a way of staying connected to my inherited culture. To be honest, all I really took from what she said was that she knew whatever I was singing was Tamil, so she must be of similar background! Without thinking twice, I asked. “Are you Tamil?”

  “Seriously all that and that’s what you think of saying to me?” she asked, as her anger began to build up.

  “What else were you expecting for me to say.” I questioned; I actually wanted to be nice, but I did not know what she was expecting from me.

  “Uhm how about an apology!” She shouted.

  “Right, I am extremely sorry for whatever I did last night.” I replied; hoping it was enough to ease her upset state of mind.

  “Apology not accepted, now would you let me eat my breakfast peacefully?” She continued.

  She didn’t seem excited to have me around; she was pretty obnoxious though. Well taking into account the fact that I actually did apologize, and she couldn’t accept it. It was probably my queue to leave, but I still wanted to know if she was Tamil. She seemed a bit too fair skinned to be Tamil, but she knew the language of the song I was supposedly dancing to last night. Giving it another shot can’t really do much more damage, so once again I asked if she were Tamil.

  “Seriously, who are you man? Can’t you just leave me alone? If it actually matters that much to you yes, yes I am Tamil! Are you satisfied now? I’m expecting my friend soon, and I’d really appreciate it if your hideous face wasn’t around when she gets here.”

  I turned to the mirror sitting under the shelves of alcohol and took a look at myself. I always thought I was a handsome guy, and the guy in the mirror thought the same. Silly girl, she probably doesn’t have any taste.

  “Bitch,” I whispered.

  “Excuse me, did you say something?” She asked; I’m pretty sure she caught me mumbling.

  “Nope, not a word ma’am! I’ll be on my way now.” I replied; I should probably get going. Wouldn’t want to end up leaving the bar with a slap.

  Just as I was looking to get up from my seat I saw Rohini walking towards me, waving her hand. So I waved back and remained seated while the gorgeous, but horrifying girl sat next to me, giving me the look of death. With much excitement, Rohini looks towards me and says. “So you’ve already met my friend?” It took a moment for it to sink in, but it seems that the girls’ friend is none other than my very own sister; oh the coincidence is amusing.

  “Hasini, meet my brother Arrun.” Introduced Rohini.

  “This is your brother?” She asked gently.

  “Yeah, Arrun is the really quiet, reserved one out of the six of us. Also my favorite,” continued Rohini.

  “Arrun, this is my best friend; I roomed with her throughout my time at university.” said Rohini. Rohini had mentioned the name Hasini a few times, but I’ve never even seen a picture of her. I wanted to turn to Hasini, and laugh, but I have already started off with a bad impression.

  “Ahh I see, I see. She seems to be a very kind person.” I said, trying my best to hold in the burst of laughter.

  This time around I was not the one with the blank look on my face, Hasini was completely left in shock. She could not believe that she sat there insulting her best friend’s brother the entire time. With a smirk on my face, I looked at Rohini and said, “You probably have lots to catch up on, so I’ll leave you to it.” Walking towards the hotel doors I turned to take a glance at Hasini, she still stared at me from a distance with an embarrassed face. She was a beautiful girl, and there is no denying that, but there was something more to her. Something I could not figure out, and I liked the urge from within, wanting to know more.

  ~

  The wedding was tomorrow, and after a long day of preparations all of us were able to sit at a table full of family, and friends for dinner. Our seating was already pre-arranged. It was actually quite weird, but I was assigned a seat next to Hasini. I was preparing myself for some more boldness to come my way, seeing how she doesn’t really like me. Once we sat down for our meals I did not speak a word to Hasini, it was actually a tad bit more awkward than expected. Sitting across from me were the soon to be wed, to my right Hasini, and to my left was Benny. Benny was the family “Playboy” he always managed to smooth talk the ladies. Majority times he doesn’t even leave girls for the rest of us to talk to. A brief moment after we sat down he began nudging me, he wanted to sit next to Hasini after seeing how beautiful she was. With a deadly cut eye look, I turned towards him and let him know that I saw her first. While glancing up towards Rohini, I was delivered a wink. I was getting a weird vibe that Rohini may have sat me next to Hasini on purpose; she knows how much difficulty I have talking to women on my own.

  After some time the dinner was about to commence, I felt a drop by my foot; looking down, I saw a note. “Pick it up. Pick it up,” whispered Hasini. I picked it up, and opened it curiously.

  “Meet me at the beach after dinner is over.”

  Looking over my shoulder was Benny, and as I took a glance at him he grunts. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I guess he was just surprised that it was me that was getting the chance to speak with the pretty lady for a change.

  As dinner concluded I saw Hasini making her way towards the beach. Likewise I followed in her direction. With the moonlight shining full, the water resting easy I saw her in the distance with her hair let down as the wind blew gently through. She seemed all the more beautiful with every moment that passed by, and I am incapable of knowing why. This moment felt so filmy at the back of my mind, but it wasn’t like I was in love. Though I did know that cupid wasn’t going to warn me before shooting a damn arrow. Walking towards her felt a lot more difficult than I expected. This time around I didn’t have the alcohol steaming bravery from within. Hasini kept her eyes steady in sight of the silent sea. I walked next to her and accompanied her, and we both shared a quiet moment; I was the one to break first.

  “Is there something you wanted to talk about? Why’d you ask me to meet you here?” I inquired.

  She took a fleeting moment and then turned towards me and replied, “I just wanted to apologize for how rudely I behaved earlier today, maybe we can start fresh? As friends?” It didn’t take me an ample amount of time to respond, I myself was hoping for a fresh start. Her expression showed how pleased she was to see my reaction. I stood there wondering what to say next, and as I took my sweet time she smiled and paced way back towards the hotel. I had a hard time letting her walk away, with every step she moved further, and I was left hoping to see her smile for a few more hours.

  With the courage I was able to build I called out to her, “Are you really going to go back to your hotel room already?”

  “Is there something you had in mind,” she questioned with a laugh.

  Turning to my left I took a look at the sea. “Why don’t we learn more about one another,” I asked not knowing whether she would even be interested. Her acceptance seemed transparen
t as she made her way back towards me. With the dark night consuming our surroundings her presence brought the moon to life. The moon always shines bright, but after all these years I actually noticed its magnificence. We spoke for hours; by the end of it she seemed all the more beautiful. At first glance it was her beauty that caught my eyes, her long wavy black hair, the way her mesmerizing hazel eyes almost sealed shut as she laughed her heart away, the way I just wanted to place my hands around her sharp jawline, and her smile, a smile that makes me forget of everything around me.

  It was actually who she was that made me feel some type of way. Just after a few hours of conversing I didn’t expect to know someone like I understood Hasini. I saw the sadness in joyful eyes when she spoke of her parents. Hasini lost both her parents to a lethal car crash when she was thirteen, leaving her in the care of her uncle. With brief happiness she carried away, telling me of how her uncle treated her like his very own daughter. Though like her parents, he too was taken away from her life while she was away for her first year of university. With all that was drawn from her she remained brave, stuck through and followed her dreams of becoming a journalist. This maybe where she got me. The amount of energy she had while talking about her plans for the future. She carried on about how she wishes to travel around the world and spread notice of stories to help the innocents whom need a hand. How she looks forward to being in love with a man she can consider a friend. Then she went on about how she would like to adopt a child; Sarah came to my eyes.

  The time neared 2:00am, and it was probably time for us to head back to the hotel. However, I was waiting till she wanted to leave. At this point even the hours of time I spent with her wasn’t enough. She continued going on of the things she has done, or wanted to do for a few more minutes before she felt tired. We then decided to head back to the hotel. As we walked through the courtyard towards the tall glass doors I started to wish that time would sit still, but tonight is the first of many moments I planned to spend with her. Her room was nothing more than a few doors down from mine; saying our goodbyes she leaned in for a hug. Her head pressed against my chest and I knew I wanted this forever, as crazy as it may sound I felt like I was really falling for this girl.

  I waved to her as she entered her room, and then opened my own. Closing the door behind me I leaned my back against it. Never have I felt this way, ever! I’m not even too sure if this is love. Today was the first day I have ever crossed paths with her, am I crazy to be calling this love? I saw my face in the mirror next to me, and I was incapable of erasing a harmonious smile off my face. I felt like dancing and jumping around like I just won the lotto.

  I laid on my bed with my mind lost in another world. I tried to figure out why I fell for her, and no other before her; the curiosity was killing me. Even with my eyes shut her beauty kept presenting itself. My fingers tapped my chest gently, and I can feel the rise in beats with every moment I thought of her.

  I never had the chance, nor will I ever get the opportunity of meeting my birth mother. I will never feel her care, love, and compassion, but Sarah never made me miss it. Sarah was my mother, and I long felt the emptiness of her presence, that is until this very moment. It struck me of how Hasini made me feel new; she reminds me of my mother. Hasini was a strong independent woman, with a dream, someone who desires to not only look out for herself, but for the lives of others as well. You meet many girls, and some may be friends, but no woman ever measures to the standing of a mother. Though when a woman reminds you of your mother, even to the slightest degree you simply do not let her go. I don’t know what Hasini feels about me, she may just consider me a friend or her friends’ brother, but from this point onward I know she’s not someone I can watch leave my life.

  ~

  Around 5:23am I was awaken rudely to a knocking on the door, it was Thiru and Mahat. The two of them were prepared for the wedding, and here I was in my boxers. Apparently they decided to wake me up knowing that I probably came back to my room really late last night. Great call on their part; I might have even missed my sisters wedding. They barged in and took my pack of smokes, while walking out the door Thiru reminded me to call them after I was ready. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror I applied shaving cream to my face, and as the blade stroked down my cheek I had a sudden realization. What if Hasini isn’t awake yet? I should probably check to make sure that she woke up as well! Rushing out my room I knocked on her door, I forgot that I remained in my boxers with shaving cream applied all over my face. She opened the door wrapped around in a towel alone, her hair wet, as drips of water kissed her skin.

  She began to laugh uncontrollably; I stood still, thinking that I should probably leave; she was wrapped in a towel! I may have really good self-control, but at the end of the day I am still a guy; the thoughts will begin to flow. In the midst of laughing she asked, “You really like stripping in the hallway, don’t you?” That’s when I realized that I continued to stand there in my boxers, with shaving cream on my face; how embarrassing, especially in front of the girl you want to impress. I watched as she laughed; putting my shame aside, I couldn’t resist but to laugh with her. While I was walking away with a smile on my face she called my name.

  “Come knock on my door when you go down, this time try to wear more clothes,” she joked.

  She was one with a good sense of humor, something else I loved about her. I finished shaving and hopped into the shower, to soon be slipping into my clothes. I wore black pants, and I tucked my white shirt and began knotting the black tie around my neck. After throwing on a black blazer, I was out the door walking towards Hasini’s room. She too was coming out of her room, I was blown away at how fast she got ready; this girl just gets better and better. In her white saree, she looked breathtaking.

  “Hasini, you look gorgeous!” I said; her beauty was really making me nervous.

  “Well Arrun, you clean up very nice! Though the boxer look is better on you,” she responded.

  We shared a brief laugh and made our way down to the lobby where I saw Mahat and Thiru having a smoke over some coffee. Benny was in the opposite direction flirting with the smoking hot receptionist.

  “You could at least try not to stare,” said Hasini with a smile on her face. I really need to clean up my act; if I want to impress her I should really stop getting caught in the midst of my stupid activities.

  “I’ll get us some coffee, we both probably need it after getting two hours of sleep,” I suggested.

  Some how I managed to escape the embarrassment, after grabbing a cup of coffee I decided to introduce Hasini to Mahat and Thiru first considering the fact that Benny is completely occupied. They were still smoking away, and while walking towards them I had the urge to ask for a smoke as well, but I wasn’t sure if Hasini cared or not.

  “Guys this is Hasini, she’s Rohini’s best friend; you guys remember seeing her at dinner right?”

  Hasini just remained there in her stance, with a smile on her face; shaking their hands Mahat asked, “Why are you hanging out with Arrun of all people, he’s boring.” “There’s a lot more to him than you think,” Hasini praised; I felt great. Who wouldn’t feel great seeing the girl they treasured defending them while they are made a mockery of. A few moments after my brothers stopped insulting me, Hasini asked Thiru for a smoke.

  “You smoke?” I asked, completely astonished.

  “Rarely, I do at times though, just when I have the feel for it. Don’t you?” Asked Hasini.

  “No, I do; just thought you may feel disgusted by it,” I responded.

  Laughing hysterically she said, “Don’t pretend like you don’t smoke just because someone else would care, do as you wish.” I swear this girl ceases to amaze me, she keeps saying things to make me tumble deeper in love; if she doesn’t fall in love with me by the end of it all I swear I don’t know how I’d deal with this heartbreak. I wasn’t the only one who was surprised; Mahat and Thiru were pretty speechless themselves.

  “You’re pretty awesome,�
�� screamed Thiru.

  “I know right!” She cheered with her tasteful voice.

  Mahat standing to my right, came close and whispered, “She’s a keeper bro.” It seems as if I wasn’t the only one enjoying her company, one member at a time she was stealing the hearts of my family.

  Being surrounded by family and friends I didn’t notice the time fly, Hasini stood at my side the entire morning. It was 11:00am before we even got a moment to check the time, in a brief moment Akil will tie the auspicious thread around Rohinis neck pronouncing them husband and wife according to our birth culture, followed by the exchanging of rings. Standing there amongst family in the midst of those I love, I had to take a brief moment to think of Sarah. Had Sarah been here this very moment this wedding was conducted exactly the way she would’ve wanted to see it. Though we are all adopted children Sarah took the initiative in making sure we stay close to our roots. She even made the effort to learn more about our culture just so she can teach us about it in the future; a wonderful mother indeed.