My Married Boyfriend

by Cydney Rax

  “Yes. I was. But, um, nothing happened. I put away that little gun. I never threatened to kill her or anything. I don’t know why she made a big deal about this.”

  “Maybe it’s because you did by bringing out that deadly weapon.”

  “Well, geez, I’m sorry, Kiara. I-I didn’t know it would upset her so much, but she upset me, too, by coming into my house uninvited, popping off at the mouth about me and Rashad’s busi—”

  “You and Rashad’s what?”

  “I-I feared for my life,” Nicole replied, not wanting to bring Rashad into this.

  “Nicole, regardless of how you felt about her bringing their child over there, you seem to forget that children, my child, was there, too.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry.”

  Nicole tried to persuade Kiara that it was just a tiny misunderstanding and that she was confident everything would work out. Kiara told her that she would be reviewing the public arrest record.

  “After hearing everything I’ve decided that you, young lady, are on suspension.”

  “What? You have no legal grounds to do that!”

  “Hold on. No, I cannot fire you just because you’ve been arrested, but I think all this criminal activity and interruptions of my department deserves some type of leave of absence for you while you ponder your next course of action concerning your case.”

  “That’s crazy, Kiara, you’re going too far—”

  “No, Nicole.” Kiara stood up and pointed a finger. “Going too far would be to fire you like I wanted to do last month. But you went too far. Don’t you ever do anything so reckless around my child again! You may have intended to scare Alexis, but who’s scared now?”

  “You’re treating me like the silly thing I did to that chick is what I’ve done to you. I’ve done nothing to you. Not this time. Yet you want to punish me on a personal level. You can’t do that, Kiara. Please reconsider.”

  Memories of Kiara’s failed attempt to fire Nicole flooded her mind. The woman even backed Kiara into a wall and made her give her a raise. Kiara pointed to the door.

  “Get out of my office. I can’t stand the sight of you. I am going to look into you requesting three days’ leave without pay. You will put in for it. I will approve it. You won’t tell anyone else about this. You want to handle some personal business. And while you’re off, you will think hard about your past actions and any future ones that you’ve considered. You may work the rest of today and tomorrow and be off Wednesday through Friday. You may leave now.”

  Astonished, Nicole backed out of her boss’s office and nearly ran down the hall, but she didn’t want to give any coworkers another reason to stare at her.

  She took a long, slow, humiliating walk to her desk. And she quietly created her electronic leave request for three days off.

  Without pay.

  Chapter 7

  Collecting Wedding Gowns

  Ever since Kiara got pregnant, all she was concerned about was being healthy and fit. So later that afternoon on December first, she knew she wanted to hit the gym at her job’s aquatic complex. Kiara yearned to relax and vent. She invited her best friend, Adina Davis, to join her.

  Adina and Kiara met in middle school and remained close in adulthood. But after Kiara married Rashad, the women’s friendship suffered. Years ago, when Adina was going through a divorce, Rashad felt she’d be a bad influence. At first Kiara agreed; and they lost touch. But last summer, when she realized she missed and needed a good female friend, the two reconnected.

  Kiara entered the women’s locker room and suddenly felt empowered. She may have lost her husband, and had conflict with his new lover, but at least still had her old friend.

  Kiara got undressed and heard the sounds of lockers slamming and other females chitchatting.

  Adina walked into the locker room and saw Kiara tucking her hair into a swim cap.

  “How’s it going?” Adina greeted her, and inserted a key into a locker. “We haven’t had a chance to talk like normal, so thanks for giving me a day pass.”

  “No problem. We’ll do girl talk in a minute. Put on your bikini and let’s go.” Kiara was wearing a maternity bathing suit. She wanted to swim a few laps and then laze around the pool.

  They walked toward the entrance of the pool room; Adina addressed her friend.

  “How are things going, girl? You ready to make that step?”

  “You’re talking about the divorce and all that paperwork I’ve been filling out?” Kiara asked. They entered the room, which had a moderate chemical smell.

  “I’m talking about hooking up with your new man, Eddison.”

  “Girl, I will tell you what’s going on with Eddy, but first let me fill you in on the latest with Nicole Greene.” Adina stood in line to pick up their gym towels; Kiara alternately sipped on bottled water and told her friend what had happened that morning.

  “Some chicks have no shame,” Adina muttered once she heard the story. “She is treating a man like a possession. Threatening another woman over a damned man? She will learn one day.”

  “Ain’t that the truth. I won’t even try to warn her about what’s going to happen if she keeps acting desperate over him. She’ll find out for herself. And she may do it from a jail cell.”

  The women laughed. “Okay, now what’s up with your new man?” Adina asked.

  “Eddy and I still see each other a lot. We always make plans to hang out, but I don’t want to rush into anything. He’s great, but I need to tread this road very carefully. So, basically, that means that this nookie may have to get put on lock,” Kiara explained. “At least that’s what I decided as of last night. We’ll see how that goes.”

  “You’re giving up sex?” Adina stared at her bug-eyed.

  “You know how some people’s relationship status is ‘complicated’? Well, mine is a very you-won’t-believe-it-if-I-could-explain-it type of complicated.”

  The ladies strolled to the end of the room and lowered themselves into an Olympic-size pool that had low chlorine levels. The atmosphere felt lush and serene. They waded to the corner to talk.

  “Here’s the deal. Eddy and I are still together but, of course, I have my own house and he has his. Even though we want to be together, girl, this stuff gets tricky. It’s like that movie, Addicted. So much lust and deep, dark secrets; except we can’t all get out of character once the director says ‘cut.’ ”

  “Tell me about it. Real shit has real consequences.” Adina splashed her hands into the soothing blue water.

  “With my marriage breaking up and headed toward divorce, I need time to seriously self-reflect.”

  “That’s where I still am years after my own divorce,” Adina said in a wistful tone. “And I never could have predicted my outcome.”

  Kiara knew what Adina meant. And it scared her. She’d wanted a successful relationship. And it bummed her out that she and Rashad had failed at theirs.

  “Adina, even though it’s only been a short while, I know that Eddy and I care about each other. But girl, what if I get remarried and the next one doesn’t work out, either? Then what would happen? I do not want to become the butt of jokes and be the woman that people whisper about and say, ‘She’s on her fourth marriage. She can’t keep a man for nothing. What’s she doing? Trying to compete with Liz Taylor and Jennifer Lopez?’ ”

  “Fuck what other people say. The ones that talk shit the most don’t even have a man. They can’t even handle their own situation.”

  “I know, right,” Kiara said wistfully. “But I don’t care about other people’s situations. All I know is I don’t want to be collecting wedding gowns time after time. I want love, not necessarily marriage. But can anyone have love without marriage?”

  “Happens all the time. The gays did it before marriage was legalized all over the U.S.”

  “Tell me about it. But what’s really funny is that now that same-sex marriage is legal, their gay asses are splitting up, too. What’s the world coming to?”

 
; “The world is changing, Kiara. But one thing that will never change is a person’s need for true love.”

  Kiara exhaled and enjoyed the feel of the lukewarm water on her skin. “Okay, enough of this depressing talk. Let’s do some laps.”

  “You do the laps. I am scared of deep water; I’ll stay in the shallow end.”

  “Fine with me, girl.”

  Kiara swam and treaded water. She was exhausted but her goal to be healthy was more important than how tired she felt.

  Another thirty minutes passed before Kiara had gotten enough cardio and was ready to go.

  The women showered and dressed, then ventured through the building and decided to relax and enjoy some protein smoothies before heading home.

  “Adina, get whatever you want,” Kiara told her. “It’s on me. I feel like a horrible friend. All I do is moan and groan about my problems. And I can’t stand one-sided friendships.”

  A gleam lit up in Adina’s eyes. Kiara knew that meant she was grateful but not bothered by her self-centered behavior.

  “Forgive me?”

  “No need to apologize, Ki. I understand where you are in life right now. I could write a best-selling book about what Marlon and I went through.” Adina and her ex had been teenage lovers. They experimented with sex in the back of a Chrysler LeBaron. Adina gave birth to a baby girl at a young age. In the beginning, Adina thought she and her first “serious” boyfriend would last forever. Marlon was charming, cocky, and loved to make her laugh. He doted on their daughter, Remy, and helped with child rearing. They got married when Remy was three. But deep passion combined with Marlon’s qualities weren’t enough to keep them together.

  “What would the title of your book be?”

  “Raggedy-Ass Negroes and the Women That Walk Away.”

  “Hmm. Make sure I get an autographed copy.” Kiara paid for their drinks and the ladies went to sit at the smoothie bar. They enjoyed an open view of the rotunda, which was bustling with students coming and going.

  “Adina, I’m not so sure about that book title.” Kiara murmured while sipping her protein drink. “It sounds like it’s coming from a bitter black woman. And you know we gotta be careful about falling into that stereotype. Everyone thinks we’re constantly angry. White folks are scared of us because they think we have this so-called bad attitude. Black men are running from us because they say we are mean and opinionated and can’t keep quiet about what we want and what we believe in. It’s so unfair. Why are we penalized just because we want more out of life? Why can’t our ambitions be seen as strengths instead of detriments?”

  “I’m still trying to figure that one out, Kiara. Maybe that’s why I don’t have any real dating prospects. I’m actually coming to terms with the fact that I may never remarry. Not the way it’s looking. And I do worry about what will happen when I get into my sixties and seventies. What if I fall down in the house and no one is there to help me?”

  “Adina, even if you do have a husband when you hit your seventies, who’s to say that his old ass won’t be slipping and falling around the house, too?”

  “That’s a damned shame. We can slip and fall together. How about that?”

  “Don’t worry about a man right now, sweetie. ’Cause I can remember the days when you were crying to the Lord to take away the one that you already had.”

  Adina could only nod. Back then she wanted Marlon Davis gone. But long after the divorce, sometimes she missed him.

  “And as far as my own case is concerned,” Kiara spoke up, “I don’t want to seem like I can’t be happy without a man. On the other hand, I don’t want to be that fiercely independent woman who thinks she doesn’t need anybody—the type that scares off brothers. That’s not me, either. I’m somewhere in the middle. I want and I give love. I want to be in love, but I won’t be a slave to love.”

  “I like the way you put that: the Kunta Kinte of love.”

  “Everyone needs love, silly woman.”

  “Me and you, boo. But never give up,” Adina told her. “We should always have hope. It’s okay to hope, isn’t it?”

  Kiara thought of Eddison and smiled. “That’s the only way to live.”

  Adina glanced around at all the twenty-something college kids leaving or arriving at the recreation facility. They gave off a vibe of happiness, energy, and zest for life.

  “These kids have their entire lives ahead of them,” Adina remarked. “And it’s good that their little asses are in school learning something that’s going to help them instead of wasting time out here in these streets. But um, let me tell you this—dates are rare for me. And that’s fine because I am very busy at the hair salon most days trying to get other women pretty for their man; ain’t that ironic? But when I do date, and the man finds out I’m a divorced single mom, he assumes that my kid is my number one priority. And he’ll think that I won’t have any room in my life for him. But that’s not always the case.”

  Adina watched several long-legged girls shriek and run while young men chased them. They seemed carefree, something that she wished she could be.

  “Looking at these kids makes me feel that this is the perfect time to bring up Remy.”

  Remy Davis was Adina and Marlon’s only child.

  “What about her?”

  Adina thoughtfully sipped on her straw. “Don’t judge me but—I don’t know where she is half the time. The girl is only sixteen. And the attendance officer contacted me and told me Remy has skipped quite a few of her classes. And then I will log into the school’s parent portal and check to see what she’s been eating for lunch. And it’s not much, which lets me know she hasn’t been there. She’s missed so many classes, she could never be able to make up the work. Kiara, I have a feeling my baby wants to drop out.”

  “Oh, no. Are you positive?”

  “When I’ve driven Remy to school, she would grab her little backpack and tell me good-bye. I’d watch her in my rearview mirror. And she sure didn’t look like she was headed for the main building where classes are held. I’d sit in my car looking at Remy take her sweet time, talking on her cell phone and wandering around like she didn’t belong at school.”

  “Did you ask her why she did that? She did it every day?”

  “Almost every day. And when I’d see these missed calls on the cell phone from the school district office and I’d ask her about it, Remy would act like she didn’t know what I was talking about. She claimed she didn’t know why they were calling. I’d press her about her classes and she’d give those shitty one-word answers I can’t stand. ‘Fine.’ Or ‘All right.’ ”

  “Maybe she’s being a typical teen, Adina. They are not the most talkative unless they’re texting or doing iChat.”

  “Typical, my ass. I’m not even her Facebook friend. Remy is being shady. Even when I take a break at my hair salon and try to FaceTime her, she rejects it.”

  “Like she doesn’t want you to see what she’s doing.”

  “Exactly, and her behavior is fucked up.” Adina stared at her empty cup. “She may lie to me or deny it, but my daughter is doing something with her time and I guarantee you it’s not studying and going to class.”

  “But knowing you, you have gone and talked to her instructors, right?”

  “I have. And the next step is for a truant officer to come pick her up.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about that.”

  “Girl, you know this isn’t how I’ve raised my kid.” Adina felt angry and frustrated. “I always wanted better for her. And it’s embarrassing to me that as a mom I haven’t had more control of Remy’s life. I’m thinking after my divorce, I may have given her too much freedom, you know?”

  “It’s not too late. Regain control. You can get her back on her school grind. Do it, Adina. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Being a mom is trial and error. We all make mistakes, especially after we have our first child.”

  “My daughter may think she’s grown, but in my eyes, Remy is a child. And, I’m ashamed to admit this
, Kiara, but if I’m dating a guy and he wants to know more about my daughter, I have to tell him these weird-ass stories about how Remy stayed out all night . . . and how I got in my car and I drove around looking for her like she’s some type of crackhead, but I come home without her. What if he thinks I’m a neglectful mother who can’t keep up with a sixteen-year-old? And if he thought that, it would suck because it’s definitely not true. Or,” Adina continued, “I could pretend like I’m a really modern, unconventional, and hip mother who lets her daughter explore her inner self. I can act like I’m the single parent version of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, with Remy my own Willow Smith.”

  “Yeah, I hear that Will and Jada let that young girl do whatever she feels she wants to do and if a lesson is learned from her experiences, good or bad, they think they’ve done their job. Tragic!”

  “Must be nice, but maybe it’s risky, too. Yet the Smiths have millions of dollars for therapists and all kinds of psychiatrists if Willow goes way left. But I’m just a hairdresser trying to make it. What do I have, Kiara? Huh? What do I have?”

  Right then, Adina heard a chorus of fresh, youthful laughter. She squinted and watched as some kids poured through the revolving doors of the front entrance of the aquatic facility. Adina rose to her feet and walked a couple of steps away from their bar.

  “Kiara, i-is that her?” she asked.

  “Who?”

  “Is that my daughter?”

  “That’s crazy. Why would Remy be up here?”

  Adina dashed toward the exit. The kids, however, were young with fast legs. And they disappeared before she could catch up with them.

  Adina returned to the smoothie bar and questioned what just happened. She could have sworn the girl she saw was Remy. The girl had the same body type, but her profile and hairstyle looked different than her daughter’s. Adina picked up her cell phone and speed-dialed Remy’s number. It rang a few times and went into voice mail. The rejection from her flesh and blood made her feel livid as she cursed and hung up. But she put on a happy face anyway.

  “Oh, well. I’m not gonna worry. I-I’m sure my daughter will casually walk into my house talkin’ ’bout ‘Whassup my mama.’ Her dramatic ass has done it many times before,” Adina replied with nervous laughter as she stared at more kids who were laughing and yelling and then exiting the building.