Reckless For You

by Julia Gray

  "I don't have a cold," I assure him. "It was only food poisoning."

  "What from?" Victor is going to dig for all the details. I gulp.

  "Oh . . . uh."

  The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupts my thoughts. I have a few more seconds to come up with something. I have to think of an excuse fast before Victor goes prying anymore into my life. I start to feel anxious. The nervous nausea is beginning to set in.

  "Miss," Dessie says as she enters the dining room. She looks at me. "Your mother."

  "Dessie, this is not the place or the time to ask questions," Aunt Sheila comments. "Tell her Victor; this is highly inappropriate."

  "No, your mother is here."

  "Are you sure?" Dane says. His voice is deep and steadfast like Dad's.

  "Well don't just stand there," Aunt Sheila says impatiently. "Let her in." My aunt's eyes go wide when she finally sees her sister enter the room. She runs to hug her and exhales a sigh of relief. They look like twins when they hug. "Heather, I am so glad you are here."

  "Mom?" I say. More nausea sweeps through my stomach. My mom sits down at the table like nothing is wrong. She looks perfectly unharmed. Not a scratch. Not even a chipped fingernail. She smiles like she normally does when we entertain guests at home. She is wearing a sleek, black pencil skirt and blue high heels. Myra is staring admirably at her leopard print vest. It is a bit of a style change for Mom, but it still looks good on her.

  I look at Dane. Contemplating whether or not to ask Mom if she is okay. Dane discreetly shakes his head. His jaw is clenched tight. I hear his voice in my head, remembering what he said earlier about keeping Mom's kidnapping a secret.

  "Oh good," Mom replies. "You two are both here." Her eyes dart to Mikki. "And the Copelun girl?" She starts to frown, but she catches herself. She sips her water delicately as Dessie brings wine and another place setting to the table.

  "Nice to meet you, Heather." Victor raises his glass to Mom. "I have heard so much about you."

  "I wish I could say the same," Mom mutters. I smile. Finally, someone has the guts to give Victor a little slap in the face.

  "I'm afraid the wedding has been postponed," Aunt Sheila says quietly. "Paris Fashion Week."

  "I see," Mom responds. "And neither of you considered maybe moving the wedding up instead of back?"

  "No, that would be rather impossible I'm afraid." Victor pushes his plate aside.

  "Well then," Mom continues. "How about I plan you two an engagement party while I am here?"

  "Oh." Aunt Sheila smiles and looks at Victor.

  "Um sure," Victor agrees.

  "Great, it's settled." Mom takes a sip of wine and looks off to the side as she tastes it more thoroughly. She makes a face before setting her wine glass aside.

  "So where are you staying, Heather?" Aunt Sheila asks.

  "Well, here if you don't mind."

  "We will have to resituate the guest rooms but-"

  "Nonsense," Mom butts in looking in my direction. "I can share with Paige."

  I smile briefly, feeling like I have sunk to the bottom of the ocean with no oxygen tank. Mom will definitely learn my secret if she stays in my room. All those late night trips to pukesville. All the smells that set me off, and the moodiness. The signs are so obvious that even Mikki has figured it out somehow. If Mom doesn't realize I'm pregnant soon then she is a horrible mother.

  Chapter Twenty

  "Lies. All lies."

  Dinner flew by once Mom and Aunt Sheila both started glaring at Myra for feeding Princey under the table. Myra ate her courses quickly and then excused herself. Once Myra was gone, Dane and Mikki stood up. The two of them planned on sharing the other guest room, but since Mom is here now, I don't know if that is still the case. I got up too and retreated to my room to prepare for Mom's giant suitcases full of luggage. I emptied a few drawers in my dresser and cleared out half of my closet, but I doubt it will be enough for all her things.

  Mom walks into my bedroom after having an extra glass of wine with Sheila downstairs. She frowns when she sees me like she just smelled something foul in the air. She glances around the room and walks slowly to the sitting area.

  "Not bad," she comments. "Though your room at home is much bigger."

  "And it has more color," I add.

  "Lots more color." She sits down on the sofa and takes off her heels. "What is the Copelun girl doing here?"

  "Oh Mikki," I respond. "Where have you been? She is Dane's latest girl."

  "What happened to Lucy?"

  "Old news," I say.

  "Really?" She sighs. "I might need to have a talk with that boy." She shakes her head. "But I guess he will figure out soon enough that the two of them live very different lives. It will never work."

  "You never know." I watch as she takes off her vest and puts her feet up. I study the casual look on her face, and it reminds me of the panic in Dane's eyes when he told me that Mom had gone missing. I clear my throat. We both have secrets. We both lie like crazy. Just when I think I'm nothing like her, I see that I am dead wrong.

  "Mom," I say, sitting next to her. "What happened? I mean, why did you miss your flight?"

  "Oh." She looks away when she speaks to me. "I had some business to take care of first."

  Lie.

  "What kind of business?" I ask.

  "Be a dear and hand me my purse," she replies. I obey and grab her purse from the top of her stack of luggage. As soon as I hand it to her, she opens it and pulls out a tiny ring box. "Sit next to me."

  "Mom," I say quietly. I wait for her to look into my eyes and to see right through the BS and down to the heart of my troubles. A huge part of me hopes that she will see it on my face that I am pregnant so that I don't have to tell her.

  When she looks at me, I wait patiently.

  "This is for you," she says, handing me the box. "I thought you might like it."

  I nod, disappointed that she can't see that my face is paler than usual and I have lost some weight. I take a deep breath and open the box. A silver necklace sparkles inside. It has a thick charm on it in the shape of a star.

  "Thanks, Mom."

  "Put it on," she insists. "I saw it at the jeweler's and thought of you."

  I put on the necklace. She grins when she sees it on me. It isn't my birthday. It isn't Christmas. I can't think of anything else to say but thank you. Bad news must be coming next. That is usually how it works when she gives me a present. "It looks great, honey. Keep it on."

  "Sure." I look her in the eyes again. Nothing. She doesn't even look at me with a hint of curiosity on her face. I stand up clutching my stomach. "Excuse me for a minute." Maybe if she hears me barfing in the bathroom, she will at least ask me if I am feeling okay.

  "Of course." She raises her eyebrows. "I didn't like the food much either."

  "Mom." I make one last attempt at clueing her in. "If something was going on – something bad – you would want to know about it, right?"

  "Of course," she replies. She pulls a mirror from her purse and fixes her mascara. "You can tell me anything. I'm your mother."

  "And if something bad was going on with you, you would tell me right?"

  "Yes." She sounds a little annoyed when she answers. "You know we can talk about anything, honey. What is this about?"

  Lies. All lies.

  "Oh, nothing." I smile and nod before shutting the bathroom door. I don't know what makes me feel sicker, my morning sickness or my self-absorbed mother. I stare at my necklace in the mirror. Mom knows me, but she doesn't really know me. I would never have picked this necklace out for myself. I don't know why she is the way that she is, but I know one thing for sure.

  I want to be nothing like her.

  I take the necklace off and place it in the medicine cabinet. I would throw it in the trash, but Mom might ask me to put it on again later. I hope she doesn't. When I wear it, I know it reminds her of our perfect mother-daughter relationship. But all it reminds me of are the lies.

>   I am pregnant, and no one cares.

  I feel like crying, but I stop myself. I have got to get these psychotic preggy emotions under control. A voice in the back of my head keeps pushing its way into my thoughts. It's Mikki's voice. I hang my head, remembering how badly I treated her.

  I was only trying to help.

  Chapter Twenty One

  ". . . sex with a con man . . ."

  I put on my pajamas and grab the remote to watch television while Mom and Aunt Sheila have a late night planning session downstairs for the engagement party. My guess is that Mom is trying to talk her out of marrying Victor. Myra clearly sets her on edge. I relax on the sofa and attempt to forget the difficult times that are ahead for me.

  I think about my baby constantly.

  I'll make a horrible mother.

  "Knock, knock," a voice says, entering my room.

  "Myra," I sigh. I don't have to look at the door to know that it is her. "What can I do for you?"

  "You're in your jams already?" she replies. She hasn't changed since dinner. I glance at the smirk on her face and see that she has re-applied some of her makeup, and she is wearing a fresh coat of pink lipstick.

  "Yeah."

  "Well change into something smashing," she says. "We're going out."

  I think back to the last time she took it upon herself to take me out for a night of fun. She took me to a house party where I didn't know anyone. I was almost groped. And I met Sam.

  "I think I'll pass."

  "Oh come on," she insists. "It won't be like last time. This party is at my friend Rosie's house. She lives in more of an upscale neighborhood."

  "And will there be all the same people there?"

  "Probably." She nods, and then quietly giggles. "Are you wondering about anyone in particular?"

  "No," I quickly reply. "And I said I'm not going."

  "Your brother is going." She raises her eyebrows as if she has a scheme brewing in her head.

  "Is Mikki going too?" I ask. Myra acts a little disappointed when I mention my brother's girlfriend. She rolls her eyes like I normally do.

  "Her?" She straightens her shoulders. "Yes, she is going too I suppose."

  Her voice dies down to almost a whisper. She doesn't think much of Mikki. In fact, she is probably wondering right now why the two of them are even together. I have wondered the same thing, but my brother always attracts the damsel in distress type. Maybe he likes having a girl who needs him too much.

  "What do you think of her?" I ask Myra. It might not be the smart thing to ask, but I am already stirring up a storm because Myra is squeezing her lips together.

  "Well." She sighs. "That's not a fair question. I barely know her, even though we're sharing a room at the moment. She feels uncomfortable shacking up with your brother now that your mum is here."

  Good answer.

  "First impression?"

  Myra smiles for a minute but doesn't say anything. She is trying not to reveal too much. She shrugs and briefly studies the expression on my face.

  "What do you think of her?" Myra asks.

  "It's complicated," I freely admit. And that answer isn't a lie. At first, I never thought much of Mikki until my brother started taking an interest in her. I noticed a change in him right away. He stopped calling home. He stopped intruding in on my personal life. He also stopped giving me the time of day. The stupid little games we used to play with each other were no more. In a weird way, I started to miss him, especially when things between my parents got worse.

  They fought more.

  They traveled more.

  They looked at me less.

  I found myself despising Mikki for putting a spell on my brother. Mikki is nothing special. She isn't the prettiest girl in Seaside. She isn't the wealthiest. She isn't the sluttiest. She isn't the smartest. She is just Mikki.

  Then Mikki had the chance to tell me off for all the hell I have put her through, and she never did. And still, she insists that she is here for my baby and me. Dane too. I don't get it. When my friends back home act this nice, it is because they want something from me. I have to figure out what Mikki wants, or I'm never going to understand her.

  "I get it," Myra agrees. I actually smile at her. "I can't figure her out either or why your brother seems to be in love with her. Maybe her boobs are made of gold or something."

  That would explain why she hunches all the time.

  "Thanks for that mental image," I respond with a sour look on my face.

  "Don't worry," she laughs. She twirls a strand of her auburn hair. "I'm not planning on making a play for your brother."

  "Why would you even suggest a thing like that?"

  "Because you were thinking it," Myra says confidently. I nod slightly.

  "The thought has crossed my mind."

  "Believe it or not I have a few prospects of my own." She lifts her chin like her admission is supposed to surprise me.

  "Oh you do," I respond, humoring her. "Will any of them be at the party tonight?"

  "You will have to come and see," she teases. "On second thought, don't come. I can't have you distracting my friends again."

  "Too late. I'm coming." I glance down at my pajamas. "Even though last time all everybody did was stare at me."

  "You're blonde, and you're American." She forces a fake smile. "Obviously you turn heads, honey."

  Not always in a good way.

  "Don't leave without me," I tell her. "I will only be a few minutes."

  Myra shuts the down behind her as I search through my clothes. I open my closet and see that Mom has already moved my stuff off to the side. The majority of the closet is now filled with her stuff. My cheeks feel hot as my eyes dart to something sparkly in the center of her dress collection. I take a better look at the short black dress in the middle. It shimmers, but not too much. It has one long sleeve, and the other side is sleeveless. I smile and quickly try on the dress.

  It feels a little loose but other than that it is perfect. I run to a mirror, impressed with how it makes me look. I don't wear black that often, but this dress makes me look sophisticated and put together.

  The mature woman wearing this dress isn't reckless. She won't go off and have sex with a con man and get herself preggo.

  I take one final look at myself before I pick a pair of heels. No one will care if I'm sipping water or vodka while I'm wearing this dress. I laugh quietly to myself. For a minute, I feel normal again. For a minute, it almost feels like my life is perfect.

  GAVIN

  Chapter Twenty Two

  "It's more fun when it's against the rules."

  Matt is in the study gathering information about our upcoming flight. I have a feeling we won't be flying on a commercial airplane. Mr. Haskell keeps calling someone named Nony to discuss flight paths. He shuts the door whenever his phone rings like I can't hear anything through the walls. Matt forgets that vents carry sound.

  I try on another t-shirt belonging to Matt's son Dane. We aren't exactly the same age, but we are both in our early twenties. I am taller which is why these shirts fit a little too short. I shake my head and try on another one. I'm going to look like a total pansy wearing clothes like this. Good thing I don't know anyone in England.

  I look in the mirror, but I can hardly see my shoulders. I leave Dane's room and search for a full-length mirror as Mr. Haskell mutters phrases in Russian downstairs. At least, I think it's Russian. I try a couple of rooms until I find one that feels more welcoming. It's pink.

  I spot a full-length mirror right away and study myself wearing Dane's t-shirt. I sigh and pull this one off too. It is one of three t-shirts I found that are a grayish color. All the others are too bright for me. I don't wear orange, and I sure as hell don't wear anything that reminds me of the color pink.

  Whatever the hell that salmon colored sweater thing was.

  My eyes dart across the bedroom to a picture on the nightstand of two girls sticking their tongues out. One of them is Paige. I chuckle. This is P
aige's room. Since this is a vacation house, I don't expect to find anything too personal, but I open the drawer to her nightstand anyway. I laugh when I see a few hairbands and a couple of classic rock albums.

  Paige is hot, and she's a tricky chick to figure out sometimes. Some days I think she's head over heels for me and some days I think she hates my guts. Other than the intimate moments we've had I don't know that much about her. Our relationship started out like a whirlwind. I think we both went for each other because of the sexual tension, and the fact that no one we know would ever approve of us being together. It's more fun when it's against the rules.

  Paige was trying to get over her boyfriend Stephen, and I was spending a lot of time hanging around the Haskell's house and the Banley Building downtown. At first, Paige didn't give me a second glance, but I know she was only pretending not to notice me. She made it obvious from the way she tensed up the first day we met.

  I touch a throw pillow on the bed, and it falls to the floor. I pick it up and notice a brown hat box under the bed. I grin. Now we're talking. She will kill me if she finds out I am going through her stuff. Even if I don't find anything good.

  I open the box hoping to find a bunch of misplaced love letters to an ex. Maybe even a diary. All I see is tissue paper and . . . an actual summer hat. I sigh and drop the box. When I do, I hear a funny noise come from underneath the hat. I lift it up and find what I've been looking for.

  Some dirt.

  Only this isn't the kind of dirt I want to see or even know about. My chest tightens. I feel like I'm twelve years old again and my big brother Dan has just punched me in the stomach. Under the summer hat is a half empty box. It's a two pack of pregnancy tests, and one of the tests is missing.

  This could mean anything.

  It probably belongs to that slutty friend of hers, Alana.

  I take a deep breath and hide the box back under the bed. I stand up slowly and listen for more mutters from Matt as I walk out of Paige's room. Is this what Mr. Haskell wants to talk to me about once our job is over? Does he want me to quit the drinking and the partying and transform into a responsible father? Or maybe he wants me to sign away my rights to be a parent?