Nightmare Magazine Issue 22

by Nightmare Magazine

I’d forgotten them. All of them.

  They were gone, as gone as if they’d never existed.

  This didn’t make me feel as great as I might have hoped. Although a big part of me was glad to be rid of them, another big part was dazed and lost.

  I had to see Aunt Olivia.

  I smiled at my reflection in the infirmary’s glass door; a demonic figure, nude and red and leering.

  With a purpose, I padded slowly down to the staff lounge for my first unattended hot shower in more than two years.

  • • • •

  A canvas laundry sack was the closest thing to a suitcase I could find, and I filled it with everything I could. Toiletries and aspirin, canned foods, office supplies. The employee locker rooms turned out to be a treasure trove of money and clothing. I left with more than $4,000 in cash, an assortment of credit cards, and a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that seemed made for me.

  Slinging the heavy sack over my shoulder, I went outside into the parking lot and looked back at the facility. It was, in my estimation, the most unassuming building I had ever seen. Low slung, one story, with minimal glass, and bricks that blended with the wooded surroundings. It seemed architecturally designed to fade into the background and be forgotten, along with its inhabitants.

  I had also found the keys to a 2012 Dodge Dakota, which took me some time to identify among the parked cars. I hoisted the laundry bag into its bed and climbed into the cab.

  I started the truck, pulled out of the parking lot.

  I remember you, Aunt Olivia,

  I’m coming to see you.

  I think you’ll remember me.

  © 2014 by John F.D. Taff.

  Excerpted from The End in All Beginnings by John F.D. Taff

  Excerpt published by arrangement with Grey Matter Press.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  John F.D. Taff has published more than seventy short stories in markets that include Cemetery Dance, Deathrealm, Big Pulp, Postscripts to Darkness, Hot Blood: Fear the Fever, Hot Blood: Seeds of Fear, and Shock Rock II. Over the years, six of his shorts have been named honorable mentions in the Year’s Best Fantasy & Horror. His first collection of short stories, Little Deaths, was published in 2012 and has been well-reviewed by critics and readers alike. The collection made it to the Bram Stoker Reading List, has been the No. 1 Bestseller at Amazon in the Horror/Short Stories category, and was named the No. 1 Horror Collection of 2012 by HorrorTalk. Taff’s The Bell Witch is a historical novel inspired by the events of a real-life haunting and was released in August 2013. His thriller Kill/Off was published in December 2013. Two of his short stories have been published in Grey Matter Press anthologies: “Show Me” appears in the Bram Stoker Award-nominated Dark Visions: A Collection of Modern Horror—Volume One, and “Angie” is included in Ominous Realities: The Anthology of Speculative Horrors. More information about John F.D. Taff is available at johnfdtaff.com.

  NONFICTION

  THE H WORD:

  MISUNDERSTOOD MONSTERS

  Janice Gable Bashman

  Misunderstood monsters—mindless evil or innocent creatures thrust into circumstances beyond their control? If we look at monster history, there are many monsters who harm, damage, or kill because they blood-lust and enjoy it, and because it feeds a hunger that can only be satisfied by the evil they perpetrate on others. But what about those monsters who, in their search for something else—whether it is love, acceptance, or fulfillment—hurt others in the process? What if these monsters feel sorrow, guilt, or remorse after having engaged in their evil deeds? What if their views of the world and how to behave are skewed by their interaction (or lack of interaction) with it? Should we empathize with these misunderstood beings? Or are they simply monsters?

  Let’s take a look at some misunderstood monsters.

  Frankenstein’s Monster

  This creature, created from the body parts of deceased criminals, has no real identity. He’s an abomination—huge and ugly—and people fear him for good reason. He turns on those who have abandoned him. Aware of how he looks and how others react to him, it pains him. Even if Frankenstein’s monster thinks he has a chance at love and acceptance, it is quickly quashed. But this damaged creature keeps seeking love despite his failures. So, what is a monster to do? He tries harder to acquire the love he needs.

  Wolf Man

  Huge and covered in hair, this scary beast is violent. However, the question remains: is he evil? Sure the Wolf Man hurts others—a lot—but once he transforms back into human form, he feels remorse for what he has done. He doesn’t want to hurt others and desperately wishes he had the power to control his actions, resulting from his transformation into the beast during the full moon.

  Quasimodo

  Quasimodo is a character in Victor Hugo’s book The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The hunchback, whose name refers to his physical deformity, repulses others because of how he looks. People fear him and avoid him, never really knowing the man inside the damaged body. Although he doesn’t harm others, he is considered a monster by those who know about his existence. Quasimodo isolates himself out of necessity. All can agree he is simply misunderstood, or perhaps not understood at all, given that he has little to no contact with people.

  King Kong

  What is a monster ape to do? Ripped from his home, taken across the world, and forced to live a life in captivity and as a curiosity, King Kong has no choice but to react to the circumstances thrust upon him. When he believes a woman he cares for is in danger, he breaks free and saves her, ultimately climbing with her to the top of the Empire State Building, fighting the planes sent to attack him in order to protect her. Yes, he is a monster simply because humans deem him one, because he is gigantic and different. But his actions show that he is misunderstood, at least in terms of our definition of a monster. If he was truly a monster, would he have acted to save the life of a human? Would he have even cared?

  Grendel

  Depending on one’s perspective, Grendel is either an evil, bloodthirsty monster, incapable of rational thought, or a misunderstood monster that is able to think and feel. Grendel is said to be the descendent of Cain. According to the Bible, Cain is the son of Adam and Eve and the first person to commit murder. Because Grendel is a descendent from Cain, he is considered an outcast by God and an evil being as a result of his ancestor’s murderous ways.

  In Beowulf, Grendel is not judged for what he is but for what others perceive him to be—a monster who attacks Heorot on a regular basis and slaughters and eats the Danes gathered there without reason or remorse. However, author John Gardner looks at Grendel from Grendel’s perspective in his book of the same name. Here, Grendel, once innocent and living in isolation from the outside world, is misunderstood when he is thrust into the presence of others. Grendel only wants to be accepted by society and to have fun with those around him, but the people of Heorot perceive him as a bloodthirsty monster. In retaliation, and because he feels angry and lonely, he raids Heorot each night, reinforcing the misunderstanding that initially brought him to harm others. Perhaps if Grendel wasn’t misunderstood in the first place, he wouldn’t have turned into a misunderstood monster.

  Dracula

  If your only means of survival is to feed on the blood of others, does that make you a monster? Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a vampire, capable of human thought, but lacking human empathy. His only concern is satisfying his needs. Attacking because he is expected to do so, and needs to do so, Dracula must continue this behavior to survive. In addition, he must protect himself or those who fear him will drive a stake through his heart. Despite his failings, Dracula wants to be accepted by society. He has aspirations just like everyone else does. So, if it isn’t his fault that he has to feed on blood, is he a monster or simply misunderstood?

  • • • •

  Each of these monsters is dangerous.
They are strong and often unable to control their urges. They do what they must to survive, even if it means hurting others. Misunderstood for sure. Monsters—definitely. But if circumstances were different, if these monsters weren’t damaged psychologically or didn’t have needs deemed unacceptable by society, perhaps we wouldn’t be calling them monsters at all.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Janice Gable Bashman is the Bram Stoker nominated author (w/New York Times bestseller Jonathan Maberry) of Wanted Undead or Alive (Citadel Press 2010) and Predator (YA thriller, Month9Books, coming October 2014). She is editor of The Big Thrill (International Thriller Writers’ magazine). Her short fiction has been published in various anthologies and magazines. She has written for Novel & Short Story Writer's Market, The Writer, Writer's Digest, Wild River Review, and many other publications. She is a speaker and workshop leader at writers’ conferences, including ThrillerFest, Backspace, Pennwriters, The Write Stuff, Stoker weekend, and others. She is an active member of the Mystery Writers of America, Horror Writers Association, and the International Thriller Writers, where she serves on the board of directors as Vice President, Technology.

  ARTIST GALLERY

  Galen Dara

  Galen Dara sits in a dark corner listening to the voices in her head. She has a love affair with the absurd and twisted, and an affinity for monsters, mystics, and dead things. She has illustrated for 47North, Edge Publishing, Lightspeed, Fireside Magazine, Apex publishing, Lackington Magazine, and Goblin Fruit. Recent book covers include War Stories, Glitter & Mayhem, and Oz Reimagined. She won the 2013 Hugo for Best Fan Artist, and is nominated for the 2014 Hugo for Best Professional Artist. Her website is galendara.com, and you can follower her on Twitter @galendara.

  [To view the gallery, turn the page.]

  ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: GALEN DARA

  Wendy N. Wagner

  Before we get started here, let me just confess: my house is full of Galen Dara art, ranging from prints made from the illustrations in Rigor Amortis to a print of two robots making out—which came off the Geek Love cover, if I remember right—to a very small print of an illustration you did for Lightspeed Magazine. I feel like whenever there are people in your work, no matter the medium, they’re portrayed with this wonderful tenderness. As someone who does a lot of work within dark fantasy and horror, how do you make that work? I mean, aren’t a lot of your commissions for really grim, gory, scary pieces of fiction?

  Well I’ve been pretty lucky to work with amazing authors who are gifted at creating stories and characters with incredible depth and complexity. The cover art for this issue of Nightmare is a great example; the Crow Witch is inspired by an intriguing character written by one Wendy N. Wagner in her novel Skinwalkers. I bring my own style and sensitivities to the art, but I am just thrilled when I’m able to work with creators who have respect for the people in the stories they are telling. Artist Greg Ruth wrote a wonderful essay published at Tor.com in May about the value horror stories have for us as humans. There are many necessary things that “grim, gory, and scary” teach us, prepare us for. I find enormous worth in good storytelling, especially of the darker variety. I hope my illustrations do justice to the genre.

  It seems like your work in the last two years or so has featured a lot of very soft colors and very flowing lines. Was that something new you were exploring?

  I’m rather self-taught as a digital artist; I initially got my BFA in painting. Years later I took a Photoshop course to help me edit my photos. Through trial and error I found I could clean up and add a bit of color to my drawings, and over the course of the next couple years I taught myself how to create entire paintings using Photoshop and a Wacom tablet. Each new piece I create is another chance for me to explore the medium and my technique further.

  In your work as an illustrator, you produce a lot of digital art. What’s your process like when you’re working digitally—and is it different than when you’re working with other kinds of media?

  Working digitally was pivotal for me to illustrate the way I do; the ability to jump right in and start a piece and still have the flexibility to move things around, undo mistakes, create alternate versions of the same piece. Basically I can experiment with impunity! When I work traditionally, I have to deal with the consequences of my impatience while the paint is drying. Something I’m starting to experiment with is using Photoshop to do my preliminary layouts, like how I currently do, but once I’ve nailed the direction I know I want to go (the point where currently I flatten the image and start “painting” digitally), to then print it out large, transfer it to a primed surface, and continue the work with traditional mediums. I watched Donato Giancola do something similar a few years ago and have been itching to try it.

  Back in May, you had a blog post that shared this great picture someone had done up, with an artist working on a giant tablet and the sassy caption: “Oh, you don’t use digital because it’s not real painting? Tell me more about how you mix your own egg tempera pigments.” Do you ever get snark for working digitally? Do you think that’s an attitude that will die out?

  I do think that attitude is dying out. There will always be purists who proclaim the evils of new technologies that help artists “cheat,” but artists have loved to use technology to assist them in their creations. In the 1600s, Johannes Vermeer may have been using specialized optical devices to aid him in painting his incredibly realistic paintings, a realism he never could have achieved by strictly eyeballing the subject. In the 1800s, John Rand figured out how to mix paint and put it into small tubes with screw-on caps, which completely changed how artists were able to use color (not to mention freeing them up to create art outside of the confines of their studios). While I miss getting my hands messy and miss having the completely original art piece I get when I paint traditionally, I do not consider the art I create with my tablet and laptop any less “real” or valid.

  Let’s talk about the Hugos. Last year, you brought home the Hugo for Best Fan Artist. This year, you’ve been nominated for the Hugo again, but this time in the professional category. That seems like a huge jump to make. How do you feel about getting nominated for science fiction’s biggest award two years in a row? And does it feel different this time?

  Oh. Yeah, that. When I got the email a few months ago informing me I had been nominated to be on the ballot for the Best Professional Artist, I quite literally fell out of my chair in a wave of nauseous terror and anxiety. Lots of conflicting emotions. Last year when I won the Hugo for Best Fan Artist it was at an odd intersect in my career; by the time the award ceremony came around, I was no longer doing work for fanzines and I had my first professional illustrating gig under my belt. When it was all said and done I went home, got back to work, and figured that would be the last of that. I am still not entirely sure how to express what it feels like to be on the ballot this year with the likes of Julie Dillon, Dan Dos Santos, John Harris, John Picacio, and Fiona Staples. It’s an honor of shocking proportions.

  Another thing about the Hugos—in prior years, there have only been, what, two women ever nominated for Best Professional Artist? And then this year, there are three of you up for the big award. What do you think about gender in your field? Is science fiction and horror illustration still a male-dominated field, or is that really starting to change?

  Well, the perception definitely skews towards male-dominated. It’s a very complex issue with no easy answers. There are many amazing artists who happen to be women working in this field who don’t give their gender or their career choice a second thought. This is just what they do: make awesome art and make a living doing so. Two years ago, Julie Dillon walked away with the Chesley award for Best Interior Illustration. Last year Julie Bell won the Chesley for best unpublished work. Several female artists won either gold or silver medals at this year’s Spectrum Fantastic Arts award ceremony, including Victo Ngai, Tran Nguyen, Yuko Shimizu, and Yukari Masuike. But taken as a whole, these accolades are few and far between. As you noted, befo
re last year only two women ever had been nominated for Best Professional Artist in the Hugos; it’s been nine years since an artist who happens to be female has been nominated for a Locus Award; Kinuko Y. Craft is the only women to be named Spectrum’s Grand Master, and while the recent documentary Making It (about surviving as an SF illustrator) did include interviews with such artists as Becky Cloonan, the promo photos showed just the male artists. The issue has gotten a lot of discussion. It’s on a lot of people’s radar. Right now we have a historic Hugo ballot split evenly between the genders. Regardless of who gets that shiny rocket come August, that is kind of a big deal.

  Tell me about the Illustration Master Class. You did it in 2012, right? And you’re going back this year. What’s it like? How has it helped you as a creator?

  Oh, that’s such a wonderful opportunity—I’d highly recommend it for anyone interested in working in the SF illustrating field. It’s a week-long immersion course where you work intensively onsite with a handful of other illustrators, rubbing elbows and getting feedback from such art world rock stars as Rebecca Guay, Dan Dos Santos, Donato Giancola, Irene Gallo, Greg Manchess, Lauren Panepinto, Julie Bell, Boris Vallejo, and Ian McCaig. Brom was the guest artist the first year I went. Mike Mignola will be there this year, as well as Brian and Wendy Froud. It was a pivotal turning point for me two years ago. I’m excited to see what I can glean this year, at this point in my career.

  You’re a very busy lady. You just did the art direction for Lightspeed’s Women Destroy Science Fiction! issue. You just took part in the Spectrum Fantastic Art Live annual show—the book for that comes out in November, I think. What else do you have coming along in the near future? And where can we find more of your great art?