Don’t Cry Alone

by Don’t Cry Alone (retail) (epub)

  ‘Goodnight,’ Tyler replied. He was undecided as to whether he should walk part of the way home. A brisk stroll would clear his mind; but, on the other hand, the streets of London were crawling with all manner of undesirables at such a late hour.

  Outside, he remained in the doorway a moment before deciding that he would walk a way after all. The night was cold, but the fog was beginning to clear and he was in no hurry to return to the house in Kensington.

  Tyler had barely gone a hundred yards along the street when all hell broke loose; screams of ‘Murder!’ echoed into the night and frantic shouts, then the unmistakable sound of a constable’s whistle shattering the night, and running footsteps coming from all directions, all rushing towards the club. When two officers came bounding along the street, Tyler flattened himself against the wall or they would likely have run straight over him.

  Retracing his steps to the club, he was astonished to see four constables emerge, grappling with a man who seemed hellbent on breaking loose from their iron grip. Tyler stared at the man, horror written on his face as the officers dragged him away. It was Ben! In that moment, he raised his head and looked directly into Tyler’s disbelieving eyes. ‘Help me,’ he said, ‘I’ve done for him, the bastard. For God’s sake, Tyler… help me!’ In a moment he was gone, bundled into the waggon that had almost mounted the pavement as it careered to a halt.

  The excited crowd took a while to disperse. Only Tyler remained. But then he too was gone. In the wake of pandemonium, the sound of Ben’s cry echoed along the street: ‘Help me. For God’s sake, Tyler, help me!’

  Chapter Thirteen

  Miss Mulliver had been home only a short while, but in that time Elizabeth had failed before her eyes. The doctor had spoken in serious terms to Elizabeth’s devoted companion. ‘I’m sorry,’ he had whispered, ‘she may have six months, perhaps a year at the most.’ Time went so quickly, and every passing day was beginning to show. The eyes that had shone like dark coals were now much dimmer, and the beautiful slender hands were never still; always nervously fidgeting as though they wanted to quiet the swirling thoughts that constantly troubled her. From her armchair in the grand drawing room, where she was sewing the hem of one of Elizabeth’s nightgowns, Tilly sneaked a glance at the other woman. ‘What is it, Elizabeth?’ she asked now. ‘Are you uncomfortable?’ Anxious, she began rising from her chair.

  ‘No, Tilly,’ Elizabeth put up her hand in protest. ‘Stay where you are. I’m fine, really.’ When Tilly sat down again, she added softly, ‘I was just thinking, that’s all.’

  ‘What were you thinking about?’

  ‘Oh, many things.’ A far-off look came into her eyes. ‘So many things, Tilly.’

  ‘Oh?’ She was delighted when Elizabeth seemed to want to talk, because all too often these days she was withdrawn and unwilling to engage in conversation.

  ‘Oh, Tilly, you should have seen him as a young man.’ Her hands went to her face, and her eyes were raised in a beautiful smile, as though she had suddenly seen something wonderful.

  ‘You mean… Richard?’ She loved and missed him too.

  Elizabeth nodded. ‘So tall and handsome he was,’ she said, turning her face to her companion, and staring yet not seeing. ‘I loved him from the moment I saw him.’ Sadness clouded her eyes. ‘I knew he was married; after all, his wife, Esther, was my own sister. But they were never happy, you know.’

  ‘I know.’ Tilly knew it all, because hadn’t Elizabeth told her the whole story so many times; how Richard had not been happy with Esther, how she made his life a misery, and how he turned to Elizabeth one particular night when Esther was visiting friends? That was the night when Beth was conceived; when Richard and Elizabeth had found such joy and happiness in each other’s arms. When she found that she was carrying his child, Elizabeth was beside herself with worry and shame. The scandal would ruin Richard, she knew, and how could she face the world once they realised she was carrying a child out of wedlock? Worse, how could she bear people to know that her own sister’s husband had fathered the child? Frantic, she had gone to Esther and confessed her shame. Furious, Esther played mercilessly on her sister’s guilt. Yet all the time she had been desperately concerned that Richard would leave her for Elizabeth. He was a man of consequence, a clever and talented man with a strong ambition which Esther knew would take them right to the top. She was not prepared to sacrifice all of that. Instead, she devised a plan: Elizabeth was to say nothing to Richard about her condition, and was never to see him again. In return, Esther would arrange for the child to be born in a secret place out in the country where no one would know. Afterwards, it was to be found a good home. Distraught and alone, Elizabeth had no choice but to agree.

  That night she was sent away, and Esther confronted her husband about his affair with Elizabeth. He did not deny it. But when Esther pointed out how his career would be ruined if it became known – and that she herself would make quite certain that it became known – he conceded to her plan. But with one promise. The child would not be offered to strangers. Instead, with Elizabeth’s consent, it was to be brought up as one of his own. Esther fought long and hard on that particular issue. In the end she, like her sister, had no choice but to agree.

  These past weeks, Elizabeth had lived and relived her memories so often that they were becoming very real to her. Confused and regretful, she had lost all sense of time and the past began to merge with the present. ‘I’ve missed him,’ she said now. ‘Oh, Tilly, how I’ve missed him. And the baby, my beautiful baby girl.’ She smiled. ‘The nurses said she looked just like me, and she did, you know… same hair colour… same dark eyes. And from what you tell me, she’s grown into a lovely young woman.’ Her attention was suddenly drawn by the tap on the door when the nurse came in to tell her, ‘It’s time for your afternoon nap now.’

  ‘But I’m not tired,’ she protested, looking to her companion to confirm it.

  ‘Best do as the nurse says,’ Tilly said gently.

  ‘But… I want to tell you…’

  ‘I know, but we can talk later, when you’re refreshed.’

  ‘You’ll stay here with me?’

  Tilly nodded. ‘I’ll stay right here,’ she promised. She remained in her seat while the nurse plumped the cushions on the settee, and rearranged the blankets until she was satisfied that her patient was comfortable. All the while she chatted and kept the two women entertained with snippets of gossip which she had collected during the day. It was when she spoke about Richard Ward’s son that the two women became instantly alert; Miss Mulliver because she had deliberately kept all knowledge of Ben’s arrest from Elizabeth.

  ‘What was that you said, dear?’ Elizabeth demanded to know. When Tilly began to interrupt, she stayed her by raising the palm of her hand and insisting, ‘Nurse… what did you say about Richard Ward’s son?’

  ‘Why, only that things are looking bad for him.’ She sensed the atmosphere and was confused. Glancing towards Miss Mulliver, she saw the look on her face, a look that warned her to say no more. Realising that something was amiss, she quickly assured Elizabeth, ‘Oh, but you don’t want to know about things like that.’

  ‘Leave me.’ Elizabeth was clearly agitated. ‘I want to talk with Miss Mulliver,’ she said in a firm voice that surprised the nurse who looked again at Tilly.

  ‘It’s all right,’ Tilly told her. ‘Give us ten minutes together.’

  ‘Very well. But only ten minutes, mind.’ With one last glance at her patient, she departed.

  The ensuing silence was ominous. Then Elizabeth spoke. ‘I never thought you would deliberately keep things from me.’

  Tilly came to sit on the edge of the settee. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, taking the other woman’s pale hand into hers, and feeling relieved when it was not snatched away. She knew now that what she had done was wrong. Elizabeth had a right to know everything. ‘I should have told you,’ she said. ‘But I love you, and I only want to do what I think is best for you.’

 
‘I want to know about Richard’s son.’ The dark eyes flashed angrily, alive again. ‘Tell me everything, Tilly,’ she warned.

  And so Tilly told her everything. She explained how Ben Ward was in jail, charged with murder, and how it was rumoured that he would be hanged for a dreadful crime to which he had already confessed. She was urged to describe how Esther and Richard had parted on bad terms, and how the business had now folded. She was even made to confess how Beth had been disowned by her father when it was discovered that she was carrying Tyler Blacklock’s child; it was this news above all else which made Elizabeth gasp and brought tears to her eyes. At the time when it all happened, Tilly had deliberately kept the painful truth from Elizabeth. Now though, she saw how she had been wrong to do that. The truth must be told, and so Tilly went on to describe how Beth was not with Tyler, and that thanks to the devious Esther and Ben Ward, Tyler had never been aware of Beth’s plight. Indeed, Beth’s whereabouts were not known to anyone; although Tilly assured Elizabeth that with the help of God her daughter’s strong forthright character would see her through.

  When the tale was told, Elizabeth sat for a moment, her head bent low, her eyes gazing down to the bedclothes. Presently she spoke, and what she said was astonishing. ‘Bring him to me, Tilly.’ Her eyes were clear and determined as she looked at the other woman.

  ‘You mean Richard? You want me to bring him here?’ Tilly was shocked.

  ‘You must. Oh, and you must turn Heaven and earth upside down to find Beth.’ Her voice was trembling, but she was incredibly calm. ‘I need to see them both,’ she said softly, affectionately squeezing Tilly’s hand. ‘Don’t you see? I must make my peace with them before it’s too late.’

  Lost for words, Tilly nodded. ‘Of course, I understand,’ she said at length. There was an impatient tap on the door and when the nurse entered, Tilly explained, ‘I have to go out.’ Turning, she kissed Elizabeth tenderly on the forehead. ‘Don’t worry. Sleep now. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’ They gazed at each other then, a lifetime of love and devotion flowing between them.

  When Elizabeth spoke, it was with regret in her voice. ‘Oh, Tilly, have I demanded too much of you all this time?’ Her voice caught in a sob. ‘I had no right to use you in that way. Can you forgive me?’

  Reaching out to hold Elizabeth’s pale hand in her own, Tilly reminded her of how she would ‘never forget the kindness and love you have shown me and the way you welcomed me into your home, when I had nowhere else to go and no one to whom I could turn. I’m only glad that I could bring you at least some contentment by relating the way of things with Richard and your daughter.’ She was careful not to reveal her other reason for remaining in that unhappy household; her love for Richard must remain her secret.

  For a while, the two women held each other close, each lost in her own dreams. After a time, Tilly prepared to do as Eizabeth had asked. She would bring Richard here to this house, and she hoped above all else that when he knew the truth and her part in the deception, he would find it in his heart to forgive her.

  * * *

  Richard was devastated by the news which Tilly had brought. Little by little, the story unfolded of how she and Elizabeth lived only a short distance away, and how Tilly had been Elizabeth’s eyes and ears all the time she had been employed in the Ward household. ‘You see, she had no life of her own, Richard,’ Tilly explained now. ‘She only lived through you and Beth. It was not a situation I particularly enjoyed, but I could not refuse her.’

  ‘I don’t blame you,’ he said. ‘You’re such a kind woman, I’m only glad that she had you to love her.’ His guilt about his treatment of Elizabeth had never diminished, and now his life was shattered. With his beloved Beth gone, and his son facing the hangman’s rope, his heart was heavy. This evening, when Tilly had knocked on his door, he had hoped that she might have come to stay with him. He loved her, and he had lost her also. But the news she brought had been a great shock. Even now, though they were discussing the part Elizabeth had played in his life as though it were only yesterday, he still could not come to terms with what he had learned.

  ‘Will you come with me?’ Tilly asked now. She had broken the news as gently as she could, but it was obvious that Richard was a haunted man. The trauma of the past weeks was telling on him. It was evident in his sad brown eyes and in a face which was devoid of colour. Her heart went out to him.

  ‘You know I love you, Tilly,’ he said quietly, making no effort to come nearer.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Dare I ask if you love me?’

  She gave no answer for a moment, but then she told him softly, ‘I have always loved you.’ But when he made a move towards her, she told him, ‘No, Richard.’

  ‘Elizabeth?’ he murmured. Her eyes gave him the answer. She, too, was thinking of Elizabeth. ‘I’ll get my coat,’ he said. She did not look at him as he brushed by. She dared not.

  A few moments later they left the house, both reliving their last few moments together and both experiencing their own painful regrets. As he locked the door of his house, Richard thought of Elizabeth, the mother of his daughter, and the years between their last meeting and now, were as nothing.

  Part Four

  1892

  Lovers

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘Why don’t you speak up, man? If you insist on remaining silent, you’ll only succeed in putting the noose round your own neck, dammit!’ Tyler’s face was set like stone as he faced Ben across the long well-scrubbed table in the centre of that small forbidding room. Close by, a prison officer watched with suspicious eyes, every muscle in his body alert. He must be ready for every eventuality, not least because this prisoner was suspected of a singularly vicious murder.

  ‘I killed Tom Reynolds. Nothing can change that. I’m guilty, and it’s only right that I should hang for it.’ Ben’s voice was flat, his eyes staring into Tyler’s face, and his two hands stretched before him on the table top, according to instructions. He had put a knife through a man’s heart. There were no greater depths to which he could sink. Hanging would be a merciful release from his own weaknesses.

  ‘For God’s sake!’ Tyler gripped the table edge until his knuckles drained white. ‘If you won’t think about yourself, then think about your father… surely you know how all this is tearing him apart? And what about your mother? Have you thought what you’re doing to her? She idolises you, Ben, and you won’t even let her visit you! She’s almost insane with worry.’

  ‘You’ve seen her?’ Of all the things Tyler could have said, the mention of Esther was the one thing that had touched Ben’s conscience.

  ‘Yes,’ Tyler lied. He had not seen her because she would not permit it. She would not see anyone. Esther had locked herself in that big house on Bedford Square, and there wasn’t a soul who could persuade her to open the door; not Tyler, not even her own husband. Frantic for her safety, Richard had urged the police to gain admittance to the house. After a long and lengthy campaign, one officer had eventually succeeded. His report had said that she appeared to be ‘completely in charge of herself, and gave no cause for concern. It was purely a domestic matter. He did not know how cunning she was, nor how she could act out a part so convincingly that even a practised eye could not distinguish the real woman beneath. From one end of London to the other, it was rumoured that when Ben was arrested, and then afterwards when he refused to see her in prison, Esther had lost the will to live. There were those who claimed that she had been seen at night, wandering the dark streets, and loitering outside the prison gates where her beloved son was caged.

  ‘I can’t let her come here, you know that, don’t you?’ Ben said now. There were tears in his eyes, and his hands clenched and unclenched as he looked imploringly at Tyler. ‘I’ve caused her so much heartache. How can I let her see me like this?’ A sob broke from him and he bowed his head low, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

  ‘I think I understand how you feel,’ Tyler told him. It was a hard thing even
for him to see this young man in such a state. ‘But I believe your mother would rather see you, “like this” as you put it, than not see you at all.’ He reached out and stilled Ben’s trembling hands, but drew his fingers away when the officer stepped forward. ‘You mean everything to her,’ he went on. ‘Won’t you at least try to help yourself? Won’t you tell the police exactly what was on your mind that night? Won’t you tell me? Were you provoked? Why, Ben? In heaven’s name, why did you do it?’

  ‘Does it matter? I killed a man. That’s all there is to it.’

  ‘No!’ Tyler had seen how the mention of his mother had seemed to loosen Ben’s tongue. He had to press on now or lose his chance. ‘There had to be a reason. What were you and Tom Reynolds talking about that night at the club? Don’t forget I was there, Ben. I saw you! Where did you go that night? Why did you return? And why… why did you kill Tom Reynolds?’

  ‘Will you give my mother a message?’ Ben had heard every word, but throughout it all had thought only of his mother.

  Tyler’s immediate instinct was to assure Ben that, yes, of course he would give Esther a message, even if he had to shout it through her letter box. But then it suddenly occurred to him that he could take advantage of Ben’s regard for his mother. ‘I’ll do that for you,’ he said quietly, adding in a more serious voice, ‘but first I want answers to my questions.’