My Cowboy Freedom

by Z. A. Maxfield

  “Who do I need to give the third degree?” Sterling Chandler came in through the back door. He hung his hat on a peg just inside and stood there, hands on his hips.

  I said, “Elena has a—”

  “Tell him and I’ll end you,” Elena hissed at me. “I mean it.”

  “Elena’s got a beau.”

  Elena’s mortification didn’t deter me one single bit. Sterling Chandler, whose big-as-Texas presence seemed to fill the whole kitchen, turned to her in mute surprise.

  “Oh really?”

  “Knock it off,” she warned. “It’s none of your beeswax.”

  I grinned. “Not true. Me and the boss have to make sure he’s got honorable intentions. Don’t we?”

  “We do, but after supper. I’m starving.” Chandler tried to take the too-hot plate from the oven without hot pads. Huffing a light curse, he backed away. “Goddamnit. I always forget you keep these plates in here to keep the food warm.”

  “Language.” Elena’s brows crept into her hairline. Chandler rarely forgot himself in front of her. She opened the drawer next to the stove. “The hot pads are right here, where they’ve always been.”

  He picked out a mitt and managed to carry the plate far enough to drop it on the table without spilling. Elena went to the icebox to get him a beer.

  “How was the drive?” she asked.

  “Have you heard anything from Andi?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard her.

  “Sorry.” Elena shook her head. “Not yet.”

  Chandler accepted the news that his daughter hadn’t called with an unhappy grunt. Andrea hadn’t set foot in the house since she and her dad had their big set-to a couple of weeks before.

  The boss’s feelings were hurt along with his pride. But his pride was what would win out. Unfortunately, Andi was an apple who’d fallen right under the tree, and she had a ton of pride too.

  He took off his Stetson and rolled up his sleeves to wash.

  “Andi’s just mad,” I said. “She’ll come back around after a while.”

  “I don’t know if that’s true this time.” Taking a hand towel from me, he dried himself off and carried it to the table to use it as a Texas-sized lap napkin. “I made a lot of mistakes with that girl.”

  Mistake-making seemed to be going around.

  Andi got pregnant at fifteen. And Sterling took that about the same way he’d have taken her flinging his wealth—plus every opportunity she had just by being his daughter—back in his face. She’d married her boyfriend, Ryder Dent. A sham marriage, because Ryder Dent is gay.

  To this day, nobody but Andi knows who Jonas’s real father is.

  For a while there, our little corner of Texas rivaled any network soap opera. But it all settled down pretty predictably afterward.

  Andi Chandler Dent made her own rules, just like her daddy.

  “Andi knows you love her,” I reminded him. “She’s mad, but she’ll come around when you apologize. You know that as well as I do.”

  “I miss Jonas.” Petulantly, he picked up his beer and popped the cap off on the edge of the counter. “I want him back, goddamnit.”

  “Language, Sterling.” Wow, Twice in one night.

  Elena took off her apron and hung it on a hook.

  Contrite, Sterling faced his long-term housekeeper. “Sorry, Elena. I’m just out of sorts.”

  “Good night, then, boys.” She met my gaze from the door. “I’m going to go watch my stories.”

  She expected me to look after Sterling until he was ready for bed. That only meant making sure he had coffee or tea if he asked, and I could turn on the kettle as easily as she could.

  While he ate supper, I filled him in on everything that had happened at the Rocking C while he was away, including the part about our new hand.

  “So I gave him the choice between Tripp’s and Lucho’s old bunks. He picked the room on the end.”

  Chandler winced when I said our former hands’ names. “Heard anything more about those two?”

  “Like what?”

  He rubbed his temple. “Are we in for some kind of discrimination lawsuit shit?”

  “They’re staying over at Ryder’s dad’s old place until they can figure something else out. I haven’t heard if they got themselves a lawyer.”

  Chandler nodded. “From what I understand, they’ve both still got jobs at the J-Bar if they want them.”

  “That’s right. They could always head back to New Mexico. They’re weighing their options.”

  Chandler nodded glumly. “And I suppose one of their options is staying here and turning Dent’s farm into the cutting-horse operation I envisioned for the Rocking C.”

  “Oh, I hope so,” I said. “It would serve you right to see that a man’s worth isn’t defined by the direction his dick points when he’s looking for love.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, not that PC bullshit again. I wish to God all the goddamn queers’d just go back where they . . . Naw, shit. Sorry. Christ.” He scrubbed his face with both hands before getting up and crossing to the liquor cabinet for another whiskey. “Y’all give me a headache. Want something to drink? ’Cause I don’t mind telling you, I’ve had about all I can take from the gays right now.”

  “No, thanks.” I can’t mix my meds with alcohol, but he always asked. If only he could be like that where Andi was concerned. If only he’d take her ego—and Ryder’s—into consideration the way he sometimes did mine. They wouldn’t be at each other’s throats all the time, if only he’d listen to her.

  “So, you met Skyler?” he asked. “How did he seem? You think he’s going to fit in here?”

  “Tad says he knows his way around horses, but he’s got no gear. I don’t even think he has boots.”

  “Have Julio take some cash from the box.” Sterling took a seat in his recliner and picked up his pipe. “He can take Sky into Bitterroot first thing and get most of what he needs.”

  “Isn’t Julio going to be busy with the horses?”

  “Yeah. But we’ll need all the hands for moving the herd day after tomorrow, and Sky needs gear.”

  “I can go into Bitterroot with Sky. I have to see Doc Winters anyway.”

  Boss’s lips tightened.

  “You’re no longer a patient of that charlatan. I’ll make an appointment for you with the doctor your parents suggested in Austin. We could even go to San Antonio if we have to.”

  “I’m not going to anyone but Doc Winters.” Doc was more than my physician, he was a friend and an ally. I wasn’t going to a different doctor just because Sterling didn’t like him anymore.

  “Yes, you are. Your parents are in complete agreement.” He shook his head while lighting his pipe. After a few seconds, smoke formed a nimbus around his head. “The man’s a damn quack.”

  “I can’t go into Austin for every little needle stick. That’s nuts. Who’s going to drive me all that way when I need to go?”

  “We’ll get you a ride if you need one,” he said patiently. “Don’t you worry—”

  “Declan Winters is awesome. He knows me. He knew exactly what I was going through when—”

  “Rocky, I need you to be reasonable and go to a doctor we can trust.”

  “Call me Rock.” I said irritably. “Doc Winters is someone we can trust. He’s the best—”

  “It’s already settled.”

  “The hell it is.” I stood. “I’m not some kid—”

  “Julio or Tad”—Sterling got to his feet while talking right over me—“will take care of whatever the new hand needs tomorrow, so you’re not to worry about that. But you can be my eyes and ears with the new hand. Let me know how he’s fitting in. For now, stay away from him.”

  “Stay away?” That floored me. “How come?”

  “We don’t know everything about him yet.” Sterling shifted unea
sily before lowering his voice. I could hear the shower going—Elena, getting ready for bed. Who did he think would overhear? “Skyler’s been inside a penitentiary for a long time now, and he may have learned some potentially dangerous things there.”

  I didn’t understand. “Why’d you hire him if you don’t trust him?”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust him. I don’t know him. His dad, Mike, was one of my best hands.” He stared into his whiskey glass before leaving it on the table between our chairs. “I don’t know Sky yet. It stands to reason we should be a little cautious.”

  “Okay.”

  He walked to the window and looked out. “Sky’s father was diagnosed with cancer while he worked for me, and he died only a couple months after he left. I kept in touch with his widow and I’ve tried to keep track of the kids. There was a daughter too.”

  “Skyler told me he killed his stepfather.”

  “You already talked to him about that?” With his eyes on me, I felt my face heat up. Smooth.

  “Yeah.” I admitted.

  “First impressions?”

  “He seems like an okay guy.” Was there anything he’d said or done that felt off? Not at all. He felt okay. He seemed nice. “He’s not real talkative about himself, but he was polite. Maisy liked him.”

  “He’s been in the system for a long time, Rock. I want you to steer clear of him until I tell you it’s okay. Let Tad and Julio show him around.”

  “Why?” I glanced down at myself. “I’m bigger than either of those guys. What do you think he’s going to—”

  “Now, there’s no need to get all emotional over this.”

  “Emotional? Wait—” Suddenly, I knew what he and Elena were worried about. “You think I’m going to make a nuisance of myself. Pester the new hand?”

  He flushed deeply. “I do not believe for a second you’d do such a thing. All the same, Ryder got himself jammed up over Doc Winters.”

  “So it’s inevitable is that it? I’ll fall under some spell because I can’t control myself?”

  “Now, wait. There are men who would see your . . . condition . . . for lack of a better—”

  “Uncle Sterling.” My face was now officially on fire. I called him uncle out of habit. Out of affection, but we aren’t related. Right then, I was kind of glad for that. “Which condition are you talking about? The epilepsy or the gay?”

  “Now son, you know my policy on that subject.”

  “Right. Your policy is lightning made me gay and we don’t talk about that.”

  “No.” His gaze turned stern. “My policy is if we don’t talk about it, I won’t be forced to tell your parents you haven’t given up on this . . . delusion you have.”

  “Delusion?” I sputtered. “I’m delusional now because—”

  “For fuck’s sake. Not tonight, boy.” He turned away to drop his pipe into the ashtray.

  At his brusque tone, Maisy barked. I hushed her and put her into a down between us, where I could pet her.

  “My head is throbbing, Rock,” Chandler complained. “Just tell me how Skyler seemed to you.”

  “He seemed like an ordinary, okay guy.” That wasn’t the whole truth, but it was all I gave him.

  He rubbed his temple again. “That’s good. But let the older hands handle him, and you keep on doing what you’ve been doing to help Elena out. I saw the gardens when I came in. Looks like those pumpkins are going to be winners again this year.”

  While I was still keeping myself from saying anything I’d regret, Chandler excused himself and left for bed.

  So much for all that simpatico we had going for us.

  Sterling Chandler would offer me whiskey to save my ego while at the same time telling me not to worry my big, fat rock-head about cowboy business.

  Real men’s business . . .

  I glared at the door long after he left.

  Chapter 7

  Sky

  Sleeping isn’t my deal. When I was real little something always seemed more exciting. Whether it was watching television, or talking to my mom and dad, or owls in the trees outside, I always felt like I was missing out on something when I let myself drift off.

  Despite the work I’d done, that first night at the Rocking C was no exception. I worked out to keep myself from going crazy: Sit ups. Push-ups. Shadow boxing. Running in place. I pushed my body until I was drenched in sweat and my muscles screamed with exhaustion.

  So then I was tired, but no nearer to sleep.

  Goddamnit.

  I couldn’t leave the bunkhouse because the Rocking C was unfamiliar territory. The moon was barely a silver sliver against the sky’s black, starlit backdrop. If I went for a walk, I’d probably fall into a trench or run into a predator or get my ass shot off by someone who figured me for a prowler.

  But it was hard to resist the impulse to open and close the door, just to see if I could. At about three a.m., I did. I went out onto the porch with a bottle of water. There were chairs there, and I sat on one to listen to the night sounds.

  With my eyes closed and the warm summer breeze drying the sweat from my body, I let that wall of noise fall over me. The whisper of wind in the trees. The sounds of livestock in close quarters. Every sort of nocturnal animal. Insects scudding, buzzing, crawling, flying. The electronic hum of the bug zapper and the sad little gzzzzt when another luckless critter bit the dust.

  “You think the country is going to be so quiet,” a voice spoke from the shadows. “But it’s not, is it?”

  “No, sir.” I stood to greet the newcomer, Tad. “It is most definitely not quiet.”

  “Having trouble sleeping?”

  “Yeah. Hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “Nah.” There was just enough light to make out Tad’s wavy hair and sharp features. He was a good-looking man. He reminded me of a fox when he smiled—he had slightly bushy eyebrows and a slick sort of grin. “I had to pee. Figured I’d come out for a smoke since I was up.”

  I nodded. “I’m not settled in yet, I guess.”

  He glanced my way. “It isn’t so quiet in prison either, is it?”

  “Not hardly. There’s always some asshole screaming or cat-calling. Out here’s a different kind of noise. I guess it’s going to take some time to get used to it.”

  “You mind?” he held up his lighter. I shook my head; it was okay with me. He lit up and took a long drag. As he settled into the chair next to mine he blew a thin stream of smoke into the darkness.

  “Wait until the coyotes start calling each other. That’s some weird shit, right there.”

  “I’ll bet. You like working here?” Captive audience and all, I figured I’d ask.

  “I like it fine.” Tad took a long drag and blew it out thoughtfully. “You will too. You’ll see.”

  We just sat in silence while he finished his cigarette, and then he went back inside. I’m not sure how long I stayed out there after that, breathing in the scent of earth and horse and tobacco.

  However long I finally slept, it was not enough.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  “Whoa.” I jerked out of bed, still half asleep. Another couple of thuds fell on the door. I opened it to find Sterling Chandler himself outside, energized like he’d been up for an hour already despite coming in late the night before.

  “Ain’t you up yet?” He was exactly the way I remembered him, but older. Gray had started making subtle patterns in his hair. For a moment we locked eyes and I was tense, but he hauled off and gave me a manly hug, complete with a couple bone-crushing pats on my back. His eyes sparked with humor. It was still pitch-black outside from what I could see. Not a soul had stirred yet.

  He pushed me back, gripping my shoulders, to look me over. “What are you lolling around for? You’re on cowboy time now.”

  “Ah, Jesus. Gimme a minute.” I closed the door and scu
rried around, dragging on clothes before another bang on the door made me jump.

  I opened the door again. “Tick-tock, new guy. Let’s get a move on.”

  “Okay, boss. Let me um . . . just—” I ducked into the bathroom to pee, wash up, and and brush my teeth. When I got back he gave my shoulder a squeeze.

  “It is good to see you, kid.” His smile had dimmed somewhat. “I guess you ain’t a kid no more. You look just like your dad looked at your age. God that brings back memories.”

  Pleased, I nodded. “I’ve been told that.”

  “How you settling in here?” His stride was so long I had to run to catch up.

  “I didn’t sleep much.”

  “Don’t you worry about that none.” I hoped he was heading for the ranch house and some food. “Pretty soon you’ll be working so hard that sleeping will be the last thing you have to worry about.”

  I had no doubt of it. “I’m sure, sir.”

  “If you’re going to help us move the herd tomorrow, we’ve got to get you some gear. Tad will drive you into Bitterroot so you can get what you need. You all right with that?”

  I hesitated. I hadn’t opened ’Nando’s envelope yet. I wasn’t ready. How much was in there? “I’ve got some cash, but I’m probably going to have to wait until I start earning before I buy gear. You can make me a list of the things you think I’ll need. I’ll get the bare essentials as soon as I can.”

  “Yeah, no.” He stopped, and gave me a hard stare. “I need you on a horse, moving cattle, tomorrow. And to do that, you’ll need the proper gear. So Tad will get you set up, and we’ll hold back some of your pay, say . . . twenty percent each envelope until it’s paid off. Sound fair?”

  “I can’t let you—”

  “Are you arguing with me already?” His tone was light but his eyes were serious. “I told you how it’s gotta be because I need you up to speed, ready to work tomorrow.”

  “But—”

  “That was your cue, son. You’re supposed to say, ‘Yessir.’”

  “Yessir. I’ll get the essentials.”

  “Good. That’s settled, then.”

  I followed the boss down the trail to the ranch house where Elena was getting breakfast ready. One by one, the men came bumbling in like cold wasps.