My Cowboy Freedom

by Z. A. Maxfield

  “Could we stop someplace? I need a Coke to settle my stomach.”

  “Sure, hon.” Andi gave Ryder’s hand a squeeze. I closed my eyes until the smell of french fries and barbecue sauce permeated the cab.

  “Here you go, baby.” Andi handed me some fries and a quart-sized Sprite. “I got you lemon-lime. I hope that’s okay. You were sawing logs back there when we ordered.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Ry, honey?” She turned to her husband. “Could you find that sandwich we got for Rock?”

  I really liked Ryder, especially then, because I knew what coming out had cost him with Sterling.

  Andi and him both. They had balls of steel.

  “I’m not sure I can eat.”

  Ryder grinned back at me. “It’s brisket. You aren’t turning down a brisket sandwich. That’s like killing a bald eagle. It’s un-American.”

  Brisket? I forgot about those fries. Meat and sugar turned out to be exactly what I needed, because as soon as he handed over the greasy, butcher-paper-wrapped monstrosity my appetite came back full force.

  There is nothing barbecue sauce can’t cure.

  “Oh, God. Smells so good.” Andi turned to face me. “Here, I’ve got hand sanitizer. Let me give you a squirt.”

  I held out my hand and let her squeeze a generous dollop of foam onto my palm. She’s such a mom.

  While I ate, Ry drove and Andi checked her phone.

  “Rock, is there something going on between you and Dad’s new hand?”

  “Why?” The brisket, which had tasted so rich and delicious seconds before, got stuck in my throat like a dog biscuit. “What’d you hear?”

  She held her phone up and showed me a text from Julio.

  “Julio says you should check your phone. He says the new hand is really worried about you.”

  “It’s dead, you have a charger?” We searched the car. They did, and fortunately, it worked with my phone.

  When I powered up, I had a text from an unknown phone. When the hell did he get a phone?

  I swiped it to read.

  Hey.

  It’s me, Sky.

  Happiness flooded me. Warmth, that sped from my phone to my eyes to my fingers and toes.

  My sigh of relief left me weak.

  Whether Sky knew it or not, the word Hey was going to be a sly little joke between us from now on.

  Suddenly, I was ravenous again.

  Hey yourself, I typed.

  Chapter 27

  Sky

  “Hey!”

  Late-afternoon sun made the shadows lengthen over the rock-strewn trail. Eight hundred hooves rumbled over the earth like a single beast whose snaky spine showed at the crest of every hillock, and whose belly disappeared from view between rises.

  Two hundred animals, cow/calf pairs.

  You wouldn’t think anything could make that much noise.

  One of the heifers charged Julio playfully, sheering off when he spun his horse around.

  He gave a shout. “No, you don’t.”

  We chased a couple more onto the loading chute. Because the Rocking C is primarily involved in breeding bulls, the Rocking C’s heifers, and sometimes cow/calf pairs get sold to other outfits as seed stock. Once we had them loaded up, Julio was scheduled to deliver them to an outfit near Plano.

  He leaned out the window of the rig to give me last-minute instructions. “You and Tad ride back to the ranch house and make sure Robbie and Jason have the barn and pens under control. We should know about the boss by then.”

  “Got it.” As we finished up, I gave the beasts one last look. Through the bars of the livestock hauler, all I could see was their wide, frightened eyes.

  I’d worn that same expression when I was behind bars.

  “You hear anything back from Rock yet?” Tad asked.

  “Not yet.”

  And my gut wasn’t telling me no news was good news. My gut was a realist. Chandler had looked awful when they’d taken him away.

  On Elena’s orders, Julio drove me into town first thing for a cheap smartphone.

  Maybe it was Elena’s way of saying she understood why we were drawn to each other. Maybe she’d have looked the other way and we could have kept everything on the down low if the boss hadn’t gotten involved.

  But Rock hadn’t texted me back yet.

  “I’m worried he didn’t get my message.”

  “What are you, twelve?” Tad hadn’t exactly called me an idiot. “He’s probably been a little busy.”

  “Or he’s sleeping.”

  He was probably sleeping. None of us got much sleep the night before.

  Tad turned Goldie toward home and I let Ogre fall in behind them.

  “When I get back to the bunkhouse I’ll try again.”

  “If you even make it that far.”

  I shot him a sour look but he wasn’t wrong. I itched to take out my smartphone and learn more about it. It was a nice, new one. ’Nando’d had the juice to get phones smuggled inside, but sure as shit, as soon as he did, somebody’d snitch, or another con would steal it. Phones could be more trouble than they were worth too. Some guys would kill for one.

  “The boss could be dead for all we know.”

  Tad was good at wringing his hands but I knew he didn’t believe that. “We’d know if he died.”

  “What’s going to happen if he’s laid up for a while?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “A damn shame is what it is. Andi don’t give a shit, and it’s not like the boss’d let Ryder run the place.”

  “Sooner we get back, the sooner we’ll know.” I kicked my horse into a lope. Tad did the same. Like I’d hoped, a good canter made it hard for him to rant.

  I didn’t care what Tad had to say.

  All I wanted right then was to hear Rock’s voice.

  We were near enough to the bunkhouse to get a phone signal, finally. I felt a vibration in my pocket.

  At the barn, I dismounted and walked Ogre off to cool him down. I was dying to take out my phone, but Ogre needed my attention. With each chore, my excitement built until I was almost giddy with it. I put Ogre up in his stall, watered and fed, and then stepped out into the fading afternoon light.

  Finally, I checked my phone. Rock’s message was short.

  Hey yourself.

  I told the guys I was taking off to hit the john, but in reality I headed for the chicken yard—a place where I could feel Rock’s presence all around me. Between the whimsical painted chicken coop and the “ladies,” as Rock referred to his fancy little chicken posse, Rock was everywhere.

  How’s the boss? I texted.

  Don’t know yet. Stable. They’re doing tests.

  Elena?

  She’s okay. She and Foz are resting now. Nobody got any sleep last night. Can I call? I’d like to hear your voice.

  I made the call. He answered with a breathless, “Hey.”

  “What are you up to?”

  “Slept some.”

  “Have you eaten?” I couldn’t help asking. He was supposed to keep a routine.

  “Yeah. Plus I ordered dessert from room service. It’s not here yet.”

  “Fancy.”

  It made a nice picture; him tucked in a comfortable room somewhere, waiting for a piece of pie or cake.

  He spoke first. “I’m so sorry I caused that mess for you last night. I can’t believe Sterling called the sheriffs—”

  “You didn’t cause that. Him neither, probably.” I wondered, though. The timing of the deputies, coming like that, right when he was so mad didn’t feel like a coincidence. “They do surprise searches all the time. I’m used to it, anyway.

  “It’s not right.”

  I reminded him, “It is right, because I killed a man.”

  I
don’t know what he made of my statement. He was silent while I let myself into the fenced-off area. One of the hens strode over and rubbed alongside me like a cat.

  “One of your chickens is coming on to me,” I told him.

  “Bearded? Blue legs?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Sophie.” Rock replied almost immediately.

  The fluffy, weird-ass thing gazed up at me with smitten chicken eyes. “She really digs me, I think.”

  “She’s a total slut. She’ll go with anyone who comes through that gate with a handful of corn.”

  “Don’t be talking that way about my new girlfriend.”

  “I guess she’s not the only slut at the Rocking C.”

  “What can I say? She’s got it going on.”

  Rock’s laughter fell on me like a cooling mist. “I’m gone for half a day and you hook up with some chick.”

  “God, I miss you.” I told him. “Especially because I look forward to seeing you. If you’re coming around the corner, or in the field or whatever, and I see you? I really dig that. But now I know there’s no chance for a while and it makes me sad.”

  Rock let out a breath. “There’s so much going on here. Either I get lost in the shuffle, or me and Maisy prop ourselves against a wall and wait. I think surely someone will tell us something. Anything. I’ve never felt so goddamn useless.”

  Something about those sad little words caught me off guard. Made me ache for him. I sat down on a stump I found, pretty sure it was once an executioner’s block. You’d never make me believe Rock would hurt his girls.

  Put the headless-chicken trauma out of your mind.

  “Tell me,” I insisted.

  “Foz got me a room at a hotel here. I don’t know how long we’ll be in Houston. Andi, Ryder, and Declan came to see Sterling, but only Declan stayed. I guess because he’s a doctor or because it’s a weekend and Andi has a gig, but I wish she’d stayed. She’s his daughter. He can’t stand Declan.”

  “What’s Declan say about the boss’s condition?”

  “Wait and see,” he replied. “Now I don’t know what to do.”

  “There’s nothing you can do but pray. Wish I could be there for you.”

  “You are.” His voice, shaped by a soft smile, warmed me. “After last night, I know you are. You’ll be there for me whenever you can.”

  “I’ll bet you’re blushing.” He was; I knew it. His cheeks flushed easily, often with humor and happiness and desire. I’d committed the sight to memory. “I know exactly what you look like.”

  “Aw, now. Stop.”

  “All right.” I gave it a rest. “Sun’s going down. Don’t tell Elena, but we’re starving without her. Robbie’s grilling burgers later, but I don’t know.”

  “Oh shit. Keep an eye on those. If he’s real hungry they’ll be bloody but if he gets to talking, you’ll end up eating a hockey puck. There ain’t enough secret sauce in the world to save that man’s burgers.”

  “I’ll bear that in mind.” I rested my head against the rough-board fence. “Breeze is picking up. You can hear it rustling in the wild cedar. Smells like we might get a bit of rain later tonight.”

  “Mm. Close your eyes.”

  I did as he asked.

  “Picture I’m sitting right there next to you.”

  “Nuh-uh. You’ll get pecked to death. Sophie’s laid her claim on me now. You snooze, you lose.”

  We both laughed at that, especially since Sophie squawked and bolted away for no good reason I could see. Fickle bird princess.

  “Oh, man. She’s left me already.”

  This seemed hilarious to both of us. We laughed for a long time.

  “Hey.” He said the single word, but in that moment, it meant so much more. It was connection and comfort and a cry for help. “I don’t have to tell you how much it means to me to have you, do I?”

  “No.” My throat was almost too raw to speak. “For me too.”

  Words weren’t enough—not nearly—but they were all I had.

  “Be sure to get some shut-eye.” I could have kicked myself for adding that. Jesus.

  Was I planning on being his momma too?

  I’d had my smart phone since morning, so I’d had time to look up seizure disorders. I knew Rock’s schedule was super important to his well-being. He had to eat at regular intervals and sleep at least eight hours. He had to undergo blood tests to make sure he was taking the meds he needed properly and even then, there was no magic bullet. Just a constant balancing act.

  “And eat properly.” I could not help myself.

  “I will. Don’t nag. I have Elena for that.”

  “It’s not nagging if it’s because I care.” Unthinking, I’d used my mother’s words. It still felt weird finding memories, like little souvenirs of her role in my life...

  “Do you?” Rock’s pleasure was audible.

  “Like you didn’t know that.” I pulled my hat off and wiped my forehead with my sleeve. Goddamnit, but the heat just never let up.

  “Hey!” Robbie hollered to announce supper. His laughter accompanied the triangle and Jason’s call of “Come and get it!”

  When I stood, Sophie fluffed herself up to charge and scratch at me. Ow, goddamnit.

  “I’ve gotta go, Rock. Text me later?” That sounded awful needy, so I added, “If you get any news, I mean.”

  “Sure.” Shyness backlit his voice. I knew exactly what his smile would look like, how it’d split his face like a happy half moon, all sorta-crooked and sweet. “I’ll text to say good night, if that’s okay.”

  There was a click, and then I heard a scuffle and a muttered curse.

  Rock said, “Oh shit.”

  I froze. “Something up?”

  Rock’s breathing got ragged. “I have to go.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. No.”

  “Huh?” I waited, heart pounding, for him to explain.

  “I can’t talk right now.” His voice had changed. Lost all warmth, all humor, all inflection. “I— Wow, okay. Not good.”

  “Wait. What’s going on?” Now I was worried too. Despite aching muscles from an exhausting day, I took off for the bunkhouse at a run. “Did the boss take a turn for the worse? Is there something you need me to tell Tad and them?”

  “It’s going to be okay. I’m sure it’s going to be okay.”

  A chill washed over me at the hopelessness in his tone. “You’re scaring me. Talk.”

  “I can’t. My father is on the other line. I have to go.”

  He hung up.

  Chapter 28

  Rock

  I’d failed to pick up their first call in time, so my parents tried again. I let that one go to voice mail too.

  Goddamnit.

  I held my phone between the palms of my hands, gathering the courage to answer the next call. Or to call back. The chair I sat in faced a bank of windows overlooking the Houston city skyline. At some point while I sat there, night fell, turning the vibrant blue sky first fiery, and then, a shade of purple so almost-black it looked like an ugly bruise.

  Man-made lights overwhelmed the stars.

  I wanted to cry.

  A tap on my door preceded the sound of a key-card reader, and then Elena came in. Maisy rose and greeted her with a sniff. When she was satisfied, Maisy trotted back to her spot next to my feet where she curled into a tired fur ball.

  “You going to sit in the dark all night?” Elena turned the light on. “You look rough, honey.”

  Instantly, the city disappeared and the only thing in the window was my reflection. Still wearing the clothes I’d arrived in the night before, I sported a couple days’ worth of whiskers. Dark circles ringed my eyes. Rough didn’t begin to cover it.

  “Room service is on its way with dessert. I’ll share.”
/>   “I had supper with Foz.” She looked as lost as I felt. “He’s heading back to the ranch tonight.”

  “What’s the word on the boss?”

  Her quiet demeanor didn’t strike me as odd until she sat down next to me and took my hand. “Sterling has a slow bleed in his brain from a burst aneurism.”

  Dread stole over me like frost. “Those kill people.”

  “The affected area is small,” she qualified. “And they’ve put him in a medically induced coma to minimize damage. But I can’t lie. It’s bad.”

  “Does Andi know?” Surely she wouldn’t have left if she knew. “Did she come back?”

  “She, Declan, and Ryder talked with the surgeon.”

  “And she still went back to Austin? Is she crazy?”

  “Andi has to do what’s best for Henry and the others too. Music is their dream. She can’t just cancel a gig at the last minute. She’s the lead singer.”

  I acknowledged the truth of that before I told her my worry. “My father called. Does his sudden interest in me have to do with Sterling being sick? Or is it because of Skyler?”

  Had they set something into motion with my parents before last night?

  When Elena didn’t speak, I knew.

  Somehow, my folks had heard about Sky and now they were going to launch one of their schemes to get me back in line.

  “Why’d you and Sterling even have to tell them about us?” Anger flared, bright and sharp as broken glass tumbling around inside my belly. I got up and paced. “Couldn’t you keep this thing between me and Sky quiet? You couldn’t even let me have two weeks?”

  “Whoa.” Angrily, she raised her hands. “I didn’t say a word. I don’t think Sterling did either. You haven’t exactly been hiding your feelings.”

  “What do you mean by that? I can’t have friends now?”

  “Rocky—”

  “No. You know what? This is bullshit.” I turned my back on her to look at the ghost city beyond our reflection. “It’s bullshit. What’s going to happen to Sky now? Without this job he’ll have to find work, transportation, and a place to live. Maybe he’ll have to go into transitional housing. Any little trouble could get him sent back to prison.”