Shame On Me

by Cassie Maria

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Karma

  Formal dinning is served in a large dinning room with tables from 2-10 seats. We are placed at a table that seats 6 and meet people from all over the U.S.

  After dinner we catch a family friendly show and later we find an adult only comedy show. When the show is over we go to the nightclub where I proceed to get completely wasted.

  It’s a good thing that tomorrow is a day at sea; I’m going to need it to recover from my hangover.

  ****

  When I wake up the next morning Ethan is returning with a full breakfast for him and a bowl of fruit and black tea for me. There he goes again caring for my tummy. How did I survive those months without him?

  As we eat Ethan fills me in on the quickie we had on the sun deck and slippery time we had in the shower. I remember the shower because I didn’t want to wet the bed so he compromised but I’m completely blanking on the quickie. I don’t dwell on it because I know he was sober and made sure we didn’t do anything stupid.

  After breakfast I dress and enjoy various activities going on around the ship. Somehow Ethan talks me into watching a movie in the 4D theater where the seats move. It was fun but it reminded me why I’m not drinking today.

  We eventually wander into the jewelry store to admire all of the sparkling jewels. I notice that they sell charm bracelets and I’ve always wanted one. My eyes stop on an iced out ice blue heart. Ethan notices and I quickly move away before he buys it.

  We have a long trip ahead of us and I don’t want to buy the first thing I see on the ship. I mean I’ll be here all week but I’ll only be on the islands once. I need to distract him so I guide us to the lounge where guests are doing karaoke live (where a band plays behind the singer).

  We’re singing along with the drunks when Ethan and I decide to join in on the fun. We make a bet to see which of us can sing a song that best represents us. I’m smiling as I end Miley Cyrus’ “Adore You” because I know there’s no way I can lose. I happily take my seat next to him and declare I want a shopping spree at the candy store as my reward.

  Ethan just smiles, “Don’t count me out yet.”

  When his name is called I notice a few females openly gawking at him. I commit their faces to memory so I can keep an eye on them later.

  I hear Ethan clear his throat and I swing my eyes his way. He has a nervous energy going for some reason.

  What’s up with that?

  He holds tight to the microphone and belts out John Legend’s “All of me.” I am completely captivated as I watch his eyes shut as if the words are too powerful for him.

  At the end of the song his eyes slowly open and lock with mine before he thanks the band and heads to me.

  “Ethan that was great! You totally won,” I say between kisses.

  “I have something for you.” He pulls out a charm bracelet with an iced out blue heart and a music note attached. “I figured we’d mark our experiences. First you captured my heart and music bought us back together.”

  “Thank you. I love it!” I look up and see a camera crew capturing our private moment and I tuck my face in his neck in embarrassment.

  “What do you want for winning?”

  “How about a quiet walk on the top deck?”

  “That’s all?”

  “For now.”

  We head to the back of the ship and I notice another camera crew interviewing people.

  “Sheesh this cruise sure likes to videotape people.”

  “Yeah lets go so they won’t corner us.”

  We walk to the back of the ship, which is lit up with large twinkle lights, and lean against the rail to look at the other ships in the distance.

  ****

  Ethan

  I want to do this right but I can’t decide exactly how I want to do it.

  “What’s up with you tonight?”

  I turn my head to look at her “What do you mean?”

  “You have a weird vibe going on.”

  Shit I’m about to blow it.

  I need to distract her.

  “What do you want out of life?”

  She stares at me like she’s not going to let it go but a few seconds later she returns her attention to the ocean. “To be happy.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief and return my gaze to the water as well. “Define happy.”

  “Good friends, living in the moment, and a great boyfriend.”

  “You happy?”

  “Yup. What do you want out of life?”

  And suddenly I know exactly what to say.

  “Karma.”

  “Define karma.”

  I can feel her eyes on me but I don’t move my attention from the ocean. “Getting what I deserve.”

  “And what do you deserve?”

  “Marry me.”

  “Are you asking me or just answering the question?”

  “Marry me.”

  “You’re not just answering the question are you?” I keep staring at the ocean. “Wait, what?”

  I turn my head to look at her before repeating, “Marry me.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.”

  “Where’s the big speech?”

  “I had one planned but it didn’t feel right and was throwing off my vibe. Plus big speeches aren’t our thing. We tell it like it is and make no apologies for it. So I figured the best way to ask was just to ask.”

  “But you didn’t ask me, you told me.”

  “Asking isn’t my style either. Did I ask you to be my girlfriend or did I tell you you would be?”

  “You asked me to give you another chance.”

  “No I suggested that we get back together.” I stare at her because she knows its true. She laughs and returns her attention to the ocean and so do I. “Marry me.”

  “Okay.” And just like that, I breathe a little easier. “Do I get a ring or is that not your thing either?” I know she’s being a smart ass and I’m going to enjoy shutting her up.

  I move to stand behind her and place a hand on her stomach while my other hand holds up a dark blue and cream box. The top of the box has a split down the middle (like a cardboard box) and when I open it the ring is nestled in cream satin and a soft blue light glows from the LED light hidden inside. The ring is a 2-carat floating halo (circle diamond) on a platinum band with small diamonds encircling the center diamond and band.

  She doesn’t say anything as I slip the ring on her finger and I can’t stop myself from teasing her. “You can breathe now.”

  “Wow,” she breathes.

  “You still want a hitter relationship?”

  “Shut up,” she says before elbowing me in the stomach.

  “Did I do good?”

  “You did great.”

  “Can I get a kiss now?”

  She slowly turns in my arms and lays one on me.

  ****

  Mia

  Our kiss is getting hot and heavy when a light shines on us. I open my eyes and see that it’s another camera crew. What is it with these stupid camera crews? I stop kissing him immediately and Ethan moves his face to my neck and starts laughing.

  He confesses that he hired the crew to follow us around these last few days so we’ll have an engagement video. The film crew will add music to the video and I’ll be able to watch it later on in the week.

  “I’m going to love you forever,” I whisper when the crew walks away.

  “Good. When do you want to get married?”

  “I don’t know. When do you want to get married?”

  “Tomorrow on the beach.”

  “And have our parents kill us, no way.”

  “Well you have no more than six months.”

  Six months is he crazy?

  “I need longer than that to plan babe.”

  “Time apart from you made me realize that I hate not spending everyday with you so all you get is six months.”

  Now I know how Ava felt.

  “Anything e
lse?”

  “I want you pregnant this year so you’ll need to work out something with Kate.”

  “This year? What’s the rush?”

  “I waited over a year to propose, I don’t want to wait any longer to start our family.”

  “I can’t start a family while I’m a bartender. Moms are supposed to have desk jobs or something. I mean how sexy do you think a pregnant bartender will be.”

  “You’re loyal and a hard worker, so Kate will work something out with you. You can start a family while you’re a bartender but if you don’t want to then you can quit. The choice is yours.”

  I take a few minutes to think about what he said before speaking. “I’ll talk to her when we get back.”

  “Good. What do you want to do now?”

  “Lets go sit on our balcony and celebrate.”

  “Lets go.”

  We head back to our room and Ethan orders room service as I settle into a chair on the balcony. We enjoy the sound of the ocean and moonlight as we wait for dessert to be delivered.

  Every time Ethan catches me admiring my ring he smiles and gives me a wink. Once dessert arrives we sit in the room and watch TV as we eat.

  After we eat I grab a towel and head back to the balcony. I place the towel on one of the chairs and have Ethan get naked before he sits on it. I get naked as well before climbing onto his lap. I stroke his junk into submission before I look around for a condom.

  “Where’s the condom babe?”

  “I took my last test three weeks ago and I’m clean. I want to celebrate tonight with nothing between us.”

  I smile before I lower myself onto his junk, happy that we can connect this way again. He has to kiss me to stifle my moans but who can blame me for being loud? My future husband can’t wait to build a life with me; there is nothing sexier in this world. Just thinking about it makes me cum fast and hard, and he follows right behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  It Only Gets Better

  5 days later…Thursday

  It’s the last night of our trip and I’m going to miss it. I’ve enjoyed being awakened by the sunrise, watching us pull into port, excursions, shopping, and falling deeper in love with my future hubby.

  ****

  At the airport we discuss the specifics of our wedding. It will be the first week in May (because someone refuses to wait). I can already feel the stress of planning a quick wedding seep in, but we have wasted too much time being foolish so I will pull this off without complaint.

  We also discuss budget, possibly hiring a wedding planner, locations, and where we’re going to live. We both agree that we want to dump our places and find a new house but for now only one place needs to be put up for sale.

  My house is filled with bittersweet memories of us but his is filled with happy ones so my house will go on the market. I’ll sell most of my furniture because I don’t want it locked away in some dusty storage. I’ll only keep things I can’t let go of, like our hammock.

  ****

  Back in Delaware we catch a cab to his place and unpack. I do the laundry while he grills up some food. When the food is done Ava and Steve show up for dinner and to hear our good news in person. Of course Ava wants to take over my wedding but I refuse.

  “Ethan you know if she plans it we’ll all be in jeans and sneakers,” Ava whines.

  “If that will make her happy then at least we’ll be comfortable.”

  Seeing that she’s getting nowhere with us she turns her pout to Steve.

  “Beautiful it’s their wedding and they have a right to do what they want.”

  “Fine but if you put me in sneakers I will never forgive you.”

  “Ava I did what you wanted without complaint, so please suck it up.”

  Seeing her pout is getting annoying.

  “I need to find a venue tomorrow, do you think you can stop pouting long enough to help me?”

  “I’m not pouting.”

  “Yes you are and its annoying the crap out of me. What’s up with you?”

  “I’m sorry I guess I’m just hormonal. This kid is making me moody as hell.”

  “Shut up!” I shriek obnoxiously as I pull her in for a hug. ”How far are you?”

  “One month and hopefully I’ll be one of those women who’s nothing but belly.”

  “I hope all of you gets big, especially your hips,” Steve says while rubbing her belly.

  “Remember that when I’m forced to wear yoga pants for six months.”

  “I look forward to it,” he says kissing her and leading us to the table. We ate and talked for several hours before Steve declared that the baby needed rest.

  ****

  The next morning Ava and I hit The Cove with a vengeance. At noon we pull into Willow Acres and I fall instantly in love. There is a gravel driveway that leads to a house that looks like it should be on a vineyard. The entire landscape is covered in weeping willow trees and I can imagine how perfect it will look in May. I head straight for the office and put down a deposit for May 3rd.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to put down a deposit before you see it. Plus this is only the fourth place we’ve seen.”

  “When your heart knows, it knows.”

  Ava stares at me for a while before she concedes and allows me to hand over my deposit. We finally tour the outdoor and indoor space and Ava reluctantly agrees that I chose well.

  I drop her off after that and head home to meet up with Ethan and the realtor. The realtor is taking photos when I walk in.

  “Did she price it at what we thought?”

  “More than what we thought. Apparently the high demand for this location has driven the value up.”

  “What if it sells way before the wedding?”

  “Then you’ll move in with Ava and Steve until we’re married.”

  I don’t believe in living together before marriage and I’m happy he agrees. I kiss him and begin taking photos of my furniture to post online for sale. Anything that doesn’t sell I’ll donate to charity.

  Once Ethan is gone I begin looking up ideas for our country themed wedding and it’s nearly 3am before I drag my butt to bed. Luckily when Ethan got my vacation approved he added extra time for jet lag and wedding plans.

  When I wake up I head straight to my laptop to continue planning and check to see if any of my furniture has sold. I see some of my furniture has started a bidding war when Ava shows up with her laptop ready to help.

  By mid afternoon we narrowed it down three possible bridesmaid’s dresses and four pieces of my furniture has been sold. I’m getting burnt out so Ava leaves me to crash. I’m happy she did because I have a difficult talk with Kate tomorrow and I need my rest.

  ****

  I walk into The Grill and head straight for the office. I knock before entering and I see Kate on the sofa with her head resting on the back of it with her eyes closed.

  “Hey Kate.”

  “Boy am I glad to see you,” she says after cracking one eye.

  “How have things been around here?”

  “Busy and chaotic.”

  “Chaotic?”

  “Yeah, I didn’t realize how much you do around here. It was rough for those few days you went M.I.A. during your breakup but during your trip I truly realized how much you contribute around here.”

  “I don’t contribute that much.”

  “You help with the staff, create schedules, do inventory, and train. I’d be lost without you.”

  I twist my ring before speaking. “Umm, about that…“

  “Oh no, you can’t quit.”

  “I’m really don’t want to but Ethan proposed and we want to have a family so I’ll eventually have to find a new job.”

  “You’re not going to tend anymore?”

  “Who wants to see a pregnant girl behind a bar?”

  “I can’t afford for you to quit. I need you.”

  Great, just throw on the guilt.

  I throw my hands up in frustration
before speaking. “I don’t see how we can make this work.”

  “How about we make a deal?”

  “What kind of deal?”

  “I’ll make you a manager and you’ll oversee staff relations. You can deal with schedules, training, staff problems, and occasionally tend while I deal with food and drinks. We’ll work on advertisement together or I’ll hire someone. It’ll be a raise plus benefits.”

  With a family I could use a raise and stability.

  “Only if we talk before you take on any partners.”

  “Agreed.”

  I sit on the couch to hug her and watch as she gushes over my ring.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  And Then Came Bria

  I’m excited to tell Ethan how my talk with Kate went so I head to his place after work. When I walk through the door I know something is wrong. He’s sitting on the couch staring blankly at the TV that’s not on.

  I drop my purse on the couch beside him and sit on the ottoman with my legs between his. He doesn’t even notice that I’m sitting in front of him until I rub his leg. He blinks a few times as he focuses on my face and it takes a few more seconds before recognition kicks in.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask softly. Ethan closes his eyes and leans forward to place his head on my shoulder. I softly rub his back waiting for him to feel comfy enough to talk. He eventually lowers his head to my lap and guides my hand to his hair. I soothingly run my ringers through his hair but now I’m seriously worried. The only time he lays in my lap is when he has a problem he’s trying to work through in his head.

  “Talk to me babe.”

  “Do you remember the girl you saw me at the mall with during our breakup?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well she called me today and told me she’s pregnant.” I can tell he’s worried about my response because he’s gotten ridiculously stiff. I continue to run my fingers through his hair as I calm my heart rate.

  My chest is tightening with the memory of Noah getting someone else pregnant while we were together. I continue to run my fingers through his hair and remind myself that Ethan is not Noah.

  “Is there a chance the baby’s yours?”

  “I honestly don’t know. We only dated for a few weeks and I always used condoms, but I know condoms aren’t 100%.”