Rivers Rescue

by Leanne Davis

  She smiled, softly touching his face. “You should go there without me. You should go and talk and just relax.”

  He nodded, holding her hand. “All right. I guess it wouldn’t kill me to have some other contacts.”

  “It wouldn’t.”

  “What about our friend, Darren? He flirt with you?”

  “He tried, but I set him straight. He was surprised to learn that, Finn… Naturally, I got a blank-eyed stare when I mentioned your name, typical for a guy like him, right? You were just a deaf guy in the barn to him, so he didn’t recognize it.”

  “He did when you said the deaf guy, huh?”

  She shrugged. “Yes. Of course. He was surprised but he held it in.” She rubbed his mouth. “You seem happy. Relaxed. At ease. Not like the Finn I first knew.”

  “No, I might not be him anymore. And I am happy. I had a good day. Thanks to you.”

  “And talking to Felicity. Yes. I think you really need to go there tomorrow.”

  “With your blessing. I said you’d probably come.”

  “That’s sweet. I would. But I think we both know I should have my friends and you yours… at least in groups and out and about… right?”

  “I think so too. I just didn’t want to make you mad.”

  “It’s reality. You guys can sign. Maybe if I get more proficient… you do plan to start teaching me, right?”

  He smiled and leaned forward, making the sign for sure. Then said it.

  She nodded, repeating his actions.

  Perhaps someday, they could mingle in the same crowd, with the same groups and both of them could understand, participate, interact and enjoy it.

  Brianna was right, though; between the two of them, that seemed to already exist.

  ****

  Later, Brianna loaded a link onto YouTube and she kept clicking on the freaking screen. Then she realized what was wrong and she blushed to herself. Crap. How could she keep forgetting? She pounded her head on the desk and felt Finn’s hand on her shoulder.

  “What are you doing?”

  Turning, she faced him. “I’m totally embarrassed to admit it, but it keeps happening.”

  “What does?”

  “I was just trying to make the stupid video play and I kept turning the volume up and up… only to realize, duh. It was made by a deaf woman and it teaches sign language. Of course there is no volume.”

  He started to laugh, but she didn’t. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, Finn, I still don’t realize even now, how often it affects my perception of the world.”

  “Why were you watching that?”

  “To surprise you. It only teaches the basics like the alphabet and what not. I have to learn it, Finn. And very soon.”

  “I told you I’d teach you. What’s the fire about it?”

  “Because as soon as I’m fluent, I can talk to you like Felicity does. She understands the little parts of you I can’t. So the sooner I learn it—”

  “Hey, this isn’t a race. It’s a marathon. We are running it together. You have me, right? And I have you?”

  “I know but the uncertainty sometimes makes me feel insecure.”

  “Not something you’re familiar with, I’m witnessing.”

  “No, I’m not. But once I’m an expert at it, we’ll be okay.”

  “Just calm down. We’ll go home, return to our real lives and all of this won’t seem so urgent and magnified. Right?”

  She nodded. Knowing he was probably right, but her sense of foreboding didn’t totally leave.

  ****

  When they left to go back home to the ranch, Finn was relieved to get away from all the crowds and return to his favorite routine. Yes, back at the barn. It was comforting and familiar for him, having the solitude of his apartment or the barns. There was plenty of time to spend with Brianna, speaking to each other and at other times, they worked on her sign language.

  But Felicity had become a staple in Finn’s life.

  Brianna knew it. He was honest and open with her every time he and Felicity made contact. They texted a lot. Brianna never hesitated to pick up his phone and glance through the threads of texts. There were short messages and emojis. Cute, little jokes that bordered on flirting. Teasing things that Dawson or Tyrell or Chin Li might have said to her over the years, maybe even Darren Santis. But Finn had never done this before. There were also contacts from Doug and Gi. She was so glad. Little hellos and links to stuff. Some of it was funny.

  They went back to her dad’s several more times over the next few months. She saw her friends and he saw his. Brianna loved knowing Finn had his own friends. He came back happier, more jubilant, playful even. He usually smiled more often and it was easy to see he let off steam. The socialization was so good for him, and therefore, she believed them. But there were times she distinctly wished they didn’t seem to live separate lives. When in River’s End they were together all the time and only interrupted time together to be with her family or one of the Rydell families. But in Everett? He went off with his friends, and specifically Felicity and she often went off with hers. Or worked with Darren.

  And she really was starting to doubt if they should have set it up so set in stone that they had their own friends and didn’t cross over. Ripples of concern often went through her spine. What if they were too separate?

  “Do you want to come tonight?”

  “Me? Really?” her heart lifted.

  “Anytime you want to come, you can. I never cease to enjoy your company, Brianna. Tell me you know that. You’re the only reason I even like to be in the company of others.” He flashed a grin.

  He rarely asked her to go and she tried to have plans on the nights he met up with his group. But tonight she didn’t have any. Finn needed some time to relax, and get away from her. Not because it was her, per se, but the need to read her lips in order to speak. He was looking forward to relaxing and speaking the easy way for him. But to be honest, Brianna wanted him to ask her to go. She knew it was hard, but didn’t agree they should spend so much time separate from each other. She hoped for more of a crossover. Some more time with each other. Even if it was hard. She was learning rudimentary sign language and had some of it down. If nothing else, she could spell what she wanted to say by using the alphabet.

  She beamed and jumped up to change, kissing him as she passed. Coming out later, her hair was all fluffed and she quickly dressed. He grinned at her in a flirtatious way he would have never last summer. It made her heart hammer hard realizing how different, looser, easier-going, and just all around happier he now acted. “Trying to make me look good, hot girlfriend?”

  She grinned right back. “That’s shallow and totally misogynistic. What? Do my looks suggest that you’re a big, tough, strong man?”

  He laughed—out loud—and walked over to her, leaning down to pat her ass. “Yep. Totally misogynistic. I’m deaf, but I’m not a saint. And if I happen to enjoy seeing the surprised looks on people’s faces when they realize the handicapped deaf kid has a girlfriend like you… Yeah, I have to admit, I like it.”

  “Do people really…”

  “They really do.” He shrugged. “People shouldn’t consider me less of a man but most think it makes me asexual. I swear to God, you’re the first woman to get turned on by me. Imagine my astonishment. Am I proud to have you for my girlfriend?” He took her arms in his hands and stared right at her. Eyes sparkling, gaze intent, he replied, “You’re goddamned right I am. And it has nothing to do with anything else but the woman you are.”

  “How you manage to turn ass-grabbing and flattery about my looks into that sweet declaration is pretty incredible. Who said you have drastic communication problems?”

  “Did I emphasize any of those words?”

  “No.”

  “Well, in my head I would have. So yeah, I still have problems. But you’ve made them so much smaller and made me feel so much better.”

  They showed up at Doug’s house. He wore two hearing aids and didn�
�t speak out loud. He opened the door wide to his apartment. At thirty-two, he was a graphic designer for a firm that created packaging for products. Gi, a pretty, Korean woman, who was currently enrolled as a college student, smiled warmly when they walked in. Finn went first, signing as he spoke, “This is my girlfriend, Brianna.”

  A sea of waves and Brianna waved hello to them.

  Felicity walked in and she looked better than Brianna remembered her. Thinner? Yes. And more toned. Huh. She wore a skirt too, with long, shapely legs. Her long, curly brown hair was layered from her shoulders down. She had a nice face and small breasts with a plumper, pear-shaped bottom, but Brianna had no doubt that she garnered lots of interest from the opposite sex.

  A flash of surprise and annoyance crossed Felicity’s face, which Brianna caught. Even if the look of dismay were gone in a blink, Brianna knew she didn’t expect her to come with Finn. Brianna would have betted that Felicity pretended Finn didn’t have a girlfriend most of the times they met up. It was not always in a group. Often, Finn and Felicity met each other all alone.

  Felicity flashed her hands in a breathtakingly quick series of gestures. Finn nodded and laughed, turning to Brianna and setting his hand on her lower back. He said to her, “Felicity started teaching a sign language class for teens at a local church. She was saying that one of them asked how to sign the words for ‘Will you have sex with me, please?’ And even funnier, she taught him.”

  Brianna smiled appropriately as her gaze slid to Felicity who was staring at them. She smiled even brighter, so did Felicity.

  A light over the door suddenly flashed, indicating that people were using the knocker and Doug went to answer it. Three more people came in. Two guys and another girl, probably in their mid-twenties or a few years younger. Finn made the introductions all around. As far as her communication skills were concerned, Brianna felt as incapable in this crowd as he was hers. There was no way to talk to them without Finn. At least Finn could read her lips and speak to her friends as long as it was one-on-one.

  “Does no one else here speak? Or read lips?”

  “Yeah, Tatum over there does. Gi tries to, but struggles.”

  She touched his arm. “How come you can do it so well?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Like all things, some are easier to do than others. Everyone has their own preferences. Felicity refuses to learn how to talk and she can’t read lips. She was ridiculed for her voice when she was very young. Doug is just shy. Everyone here prefers to sign.”

  “Even you?”

  He hesitated, then nodded. “Even me.” Slipping his lips over hers, he added, “But I’d rather talk to you so it’s not even a contest, okay?”

  She nodded. Someone approached them, his hands flinging around. Finn smiled so easily with this crowd. Shaking his head, his hands responded as he said to her, “I’m getting shit now for you being for real. Everybody thought I made you up.”

  She turned and Finn spoke out loud as he signed. She noticed Felicity’s scowl at his unsolicited praise of her. They shared a hug and a back slap, then Finn glanced at Felicity. To Brianna he said, “Felicity’s defending you because Doug is being such a jerk right now.”

  Yeah, right. As if she were. Felicity was getting the topic off Brianna. Brianna’s girl vibes picked up huge signals coming off Felicity that indicated Felicity considered Finn part of her territory. She had no doubt Felicity mentored him in her Deaf world. Something that Finn never had before. Felicity made it quite obvious that she resented Brianna’s presence beside him.

  Brianna knew the alphabet now. Finn went to the bathroom so she tried to spell out a few sentences to Doug. Felicity snorted at her scornfully. She freaking snorted at Brianna’s effort. Mocking her, no doubt. How dare she? As if to add further insult, Felicity’s hands flashed fast, and Doug nodded at her while smiling. Doug’s eyes darted to Brianna and then quickly away as his butt jiggled around. Yeah, Brianna wasn’t deaf but she could read body language and she knew Doug was unsure why Felicity was making jokes about Brianna.

  She directed a knowing, smarmy, smile at Felicity and raised her eyebrows, challenging Felicity. Her look told Felicity, Yeah, bitch, I know you want my boyfriend and you think you’re a better match for him. But Felicity just smiled back with a serene look and folded her hands on her lap. Her powerful point made, Brianna conceded the round and tilted her head in a mock salute. Oh, yeah. Felicity’s looks spoke volumes. She was more effective than almost anyone else Brianna had ever communicated with.

  Finn came back and sat down near her. They all signed, and she saw lots of smiles, nods, and facial expressions. Finn explained to her as he signed and tried to keep her updated. But it was just like when she was with her friends. They spoke too fast and bounced around too much for anyone to easily act as interpreter.

  Brianna marveled how much they looked like her groups of friends. Everyone had the same flirtatious glances, smiles, boredom and laughter. However, this wasn’t a language that she understood. A few times, Doug or Gi spelled out a question to her. She was slow and clumsy at reading it and it took forever to figure it out so she could spell her answer back. But when she did, they smiled and Finn all but clapped for her. The look she saw on his face was priceless… and that was why she had to learn his language. His expression was so tender and grateful and caring. He was so proud of her despite her clumsy results. He squeezed her hand to encourage her.

  “Dinner’s ready. Come. It’s casual.”

  It was also super odd to party with a crew of deaf people… It was deafeningly quiet. Uncomfortably so… but only to her of course. The sliding of chairs, and clacking of utensils and feet shuffling. Everything seemed amplified. Brianna had to remember no one could really hear her anyway so it wasn’t like she a had to be polite about it. Doug could hear marginally, but certain sounds were inaudible. Finn claimed they usually turned off their hearing aids when it was just them conversing in a private area such as this.

  Brianna found it awkward and disconcerting despite how hard she tried not to be. Imagining how often every one of these guests felt uncomfortable or frustrated. It must have happened daily when they went out to run errands, or keep appointments or even just to see their families. She tried to imagine how often they were present but invisible because they could not connect in any real way due to the communication barriers. Experiencing it made her uncomfortable and was much harder than she expected. But also, very important. As a hearing person, she thought she should try to find a whole new perspective on what “normal” was.

  They were all speaking in their own language, which was different from hers. It wasn’t a question of translating English into gestures. No. The Deaf had a whole special way of communicating. That was a hard way of thinking to Brianna. She also was surprised to figure out there were many types of sign language. Even American Sign Language and British Sign Language varied although both countries mainly spoke English. There were also dialects to contend with just as English speakers do, and different regions where the slang and accents also varied. Brianna was surprised by all of the nuances. But especially that even if one knew ASL didn’t mean they could understand sign language to people who lived in England or Australia.

  After dinner, beer and wine were served. She raised an eyebrow when Finn took a glass of wine. She thought if he drank any alcohol it would have been beer. He smiled when he noticed her looking at him. “You drink wine?”

  Felicity signed. Finn answered her, keeping his gaze on Felicity as he answered Brianna. “I do. It’s not such a struggle for me to speak here, so I can.”

  Oh… so just not with her. That stung, but no one was to blame for that. Just life. Nature. Reality. How it had to be. Hearing to not hearing.

  “What is she saying?”

  “She wanted to know what you looked so surprised about.”

  Brianna glanced around. Felicity was watching her lips like Finn did. She was convinced that Felicity could read her lips because she was too quick to f
ollow up what she said to Finn in her own interaction.

  They were discussing something long and drawn out. She finally touched his elbow. Not so much because she was jealous but rather, tired of this woman. She was shamelessly coming on to Finn right in front of her. Brianna wasn’t wrong. She made sure that Finn was looking right at her and set her hand on his to keep him from signing. His facial expression turned to surprise.

  “I really want to fuck you right now.” Finn’s entire body jerked in shock. “You know, I want to suck your big, long dick before you stick it into my—”

  “Brianna, what the hell?” Finn said, jerking back. He glanced around to check if anyone else was listening. Her back was to the room. She didn’t turn around. She also didn’t speak loud enough that anyone could hear her. No one else could see her. Except Felicity. She could. Felicity read most of what she said on her lips. Brianna smiled with sickening disdain and glanced out of the corner of her eyes as she finally added, “Just giving Felicity a hint of why you’re with me.”

  His eyes rounded and so did his mouth.

  She shouldn’t have done that, of course. It was immature and juvenile. It was also jealous and spiteful.

  She was no fucking saint.

  Finn was her boyfriend and Felicity was trying to discredit and belittle Brianna’s presence in his life. She would never have allowed a hearing woman to sit there and do that to her. So in Brianna’s viewpoint, why would she treat Felicity any differently?

  “She reads my lips but pretends she doesn’t. She looks at my mouth just as often as you do. I know she understands me, I see her face reacting to things I say and just now? Shock. Why would she be shocked unless she just read what I said.”

  Finn shut his eyes for a moment. Then he shook his head. “Yes, Brianna, I know she can. She can read them. She doesn’t speak well. She prefers sign language and only listens to it.”

  “Unless it’s me.”

  “I can’t say for sure.” He turned his head. “She can’t read lips half as accurately as I do. So what you just did was rude and mean and belittling and disrespectful.”