by T L Osborn
“Yes, Kyle, you did make that clear, but it wasn’t Aria but in fact her older brother Toby.”
“Why would you stop and talk to her brother? You were her friend,” Kyle questions.
“Because as I was friends with Aria I shared a lot with their family over the years and Toby never made me feel excluded when I went around to their place. Besides, I don’t know why you’re upset about this; it was one of those chance meetings. I didn’t seek him out, he happened to be there eating with his younger brother and Aria’s twin.”
It isn’t a complete lie. Some parts were left out; like the bit about Toby being my ex but I hadn’t planned to meet him there. I was however, pretty sure it was no accident on Toby’s part as I’m sure he saw me sooner than I saw him.
“I would still like to know why you thought it appropriate to speak to another man. For Christ’s sake Sasha, I was right there in the restaurant.”
“Yeah you were and you weren’t exactly talking to me. It’s like I said, I bumped into him and said, ‘hey, how are you?’ and we had a quick chat. Nothing happened.”
“It better not have.”
“I swear to you it didn’t. If you want to meet him to be sure, you’re more than welcome to.”
“Why would I want to meet someone you’re never going to see again?” he scoffs.
“You don’t want to meet my friends but expect me to meet yours? I have to say Kyle, tonight was one of the most boring nights I’ve ever experienced. You should’ve left me at home.”
“Sasha, all I asked was that you met their wives; it wasn’t up to me to put the effort into the conversation,” he snaps.
“Kyle I had nothing in common with them, I was the outsider. I don’t buy designer things. I’m not interested in keeping myself looking good every second of the day with too much makeup on. I didn’t belong in that group.” He parks the car up the drive and turns towards me, gripping my face between his thumb and forefinger, pinching it just lightly. “Ouch! Kyle, that hurts.”
“Listen to me Sasha. From now on, you’ll put more effort into your appearance and the conversations you have with my friends, and we most certainly will not be associating with yours. We do what I want and what benefits me, understand?”
Harshly, he lets me go. I remain seated in the car until he’s well and truly gone inside. My entire body is shaking. He’s never once put his hands on me, never like that anyway. He used to be so gentle and kind. He didn’t particularly like my friends in Christchurch but he couldn’t stop me from seeing them because I lived with them. Though, thinking back, he never really spent any time around them.
With shaking hands, I get out of the car and make my way slowly inside.
Kyle doesn’t even look at me as he pours himself another drink. I want to tell him I think he’s had enough but I’m not in the mood to start another argument and who knows where it could lead.
Silently, I make my way to bed and lay awake just staring up at the ceiling.
Finally, I decide I’m not tired but I don’t really want to go downstairs to see Kyle; not after the way he treated me tonight. He comes into our bedroom, I’m not really sure how long after we got home, and crawls into bed beside me. He slides an arm around me and begins placing light kisses upon my shoulder.
I shrug him off.
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that and I hate myself for doing it. I just got jealous over you talking to another man,” he whispers, resting his head against me.
Looking down at him for a moment, his green eyes are staring back at me.
Is he truly sorry?
He smiles as he begins to lightly massage my skin.
“Ky I’m not in the mood for sex and I accept your apology but if it happens again, believe me when I say I’m out.”
He sighs and rolls over, mumbling something about his dick, and how I should bend to his will. Seconds later, he’s snoring and I climb out of bed and go curl up atop the one in the spare room and cry. Everyone would say I should leave him, that he’s not man enough to be with me if he can put his hands on me like that, but I can’t. I know we’ve only been together a short time, but this can’t really be the man he is, can it?
Am I no better than my mother falling for someone who I think is a great guy and yet treats me like dirt? Is this really the life I want for myself?
These are all questions I’m not sure I’m ready to answer and the way Toby has come back into my life leaves me more confused than ever.
When I finally do dream, I’m torn. Kyle is pulling me one way, telling me he can be a better man and can change and Toby is pulling the other, telling me he’s always loved me and will never let me go—no matter what.
Chapter Nine
Sasha
Exhaustion washes over me as I pack my gym bag and prepare for my meeting with Toby.
Since I got up this morning, I’ve been wondering what on earth he has to show me. It can’t possibly be anything too strange because we’re meeting in public, but if I know Toby it could be anything.
Gathering my bag off the floor, slinging it over my shoulder, I glance at Kyle who is still asleep in bed, snoring loudly.
He’s not even going to notice I’ve left the house; he’ll be asleep for probably the remainder of the day.
Driving towards the café, I cross the bridge headed into Upper Hutt and my anxiety rises. I’m worried our meeting will turn out like the last. I just don’t know if I can lose Toby a second time.
I find a carpark and take a deep breath before getting out of the car.
To my surprise Toby is already waiting for me. I stop walking for a second to take him in. Who knows if this will be the last time I see him. I’d like to remember him this way—carefree and sexy. His hair is a mess as if he’s literally just rolled out of bed, his eyes intently focus on the phone in his hand. He’s leaning against the wall of the café, one leg resting on the wall. He’s wearing a navy cotton-shirt and dark jeans. The t-shirt is tightly fitted, revealing every crevice of muscle. He stretches and swaps a box from beneath one arm to the other.
What’s in it? Is it for me?
As if sensing I’m watching him, he glances up and smiles. Gathering my wits about me, I walk towards him on shaking legs. Almost as if on instinct, he greets me and wraps his arms around me in a hug, squashing the box between us. Inhaling lightly, his cologne is the same as it always has been and tears spring to my eyes. I swear I can feel his heart beating through his shirt as I press my hands to his chest. It’s beating in time with mine. I don’t want to end this, I don’t want to let him go. I know I shouldn’t feel this way about him but seeing him has stirred something inside me. Something strong and powerful.
Reluctantly, I push out of his arms and stare up into his handsome face. He smiles and it’s infectious because it appears on my own too.
“Hey,” he says.
God! What I wouldn’t give to kiss him right now. Wait…why am I thinking this way?
“Hi.”
He lets me go even though I feel the reluctance on his part.
“Shall we go inside and get a coffee?”
He steps towards the door and opens it for me. The aroma of strong coffee fills the air as my stomach growls.
Toby chuckles. “Yup, you definitely need a coffee.”
Looking up at the board there’s a lot to choose from. “I think I’m going to keep it simple and order a cappuccino.”
Toby chuckles. “I’m thinking a chocolate milkshake. You go find us some seats.”
“But I have to pay.”
He shakes his head. “No you don’t, it’s on me today.”
I walk over and find a seat at the back of the café, away from all the windows, and sit myself down in the cushioned seat while I wait for Toby. I don’t need to wait too long before he comes and takes the seat opposite me, placing the box down beside him.
“So what’s in the box?” I ask him curiously.
“You’ll find out very sh
ortly but first I wanted to start off by saying I’m incredibly sorry for how I treated you the last time we met. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry so quickly but I couldn’t help it. Seeing you again brought up all the hurt and pain. It was actually Aria who told me perhaps I was too harsh on you and that you weren’t the one behind what happened between us.” He leans his forearms upon the table and folds his hands. On instinct, I reach out and clasp his hands in mine. “So in the box is every single letter I ever wrote you and all the ones you wrote me; including all the ‘return to sender’ ones. I want you to have them, to know I was telling the truth and–”
“I’m sorry too,” I cut him off. “We’ve never had a fight not in all the time we were friends then lovers. I jumped to conclusions without thinking about what you were feeling. I was selfishly thinking only of myself. I should’ve heard you out before getting mad,” I confirm as I squeeze his hand.
He picks the box up and pushes it towards me.
“Can I open it now?” I ask as our drinks are brought over and placed on the table.
“Of course.”
Opening the box, I see indeed there’re hundreds of letters written between us.
“I’ve got a box too. I kept all of your letters.” Digging through the box I come across a royal blue ring box. Slowly picking it up, my heart races. “Is this what I think it is?”
He nods. “Yes, that’s your promise ring. I’d always hoped I’d see you again and be able to return it to you.”
Opening the box, I gasp. “It’s in great condition. It’s still as gorgeous as I remember it.”
“Do you think you and I can start over? Have a friendship again and put the past behind us?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
I don’t like that.
I love it.
I pick up the box and pull out a letter. Turning it over I see a heart-shaped sticker on it.
“Gosh I was such a child. I used stickers.”
He chuckles. “I thought they were cute. Did you really keep all my letters too?”
“Yeah. I found the box when sorting all my stuff. I have a special box for them.”
I scoot the box aside and begin to drink my coffee before it goes cold. Picking up my cup, I take a sip as he reaches for his phone in his pocket. He chuckles as he opens the message, then turns it around. It’s a picture of a small ginger cat, stretched out upon a couch.
“Our new housemate Henry has stolen Jake’s seat on the couch.”
“He’s cute.”
“He’s feisty but very friendly too. He even sits on my shoulder while I’m walking around the house doing things.”
“Never took you for a cat guy.”
He shrugs. “I guess people can change.”
“You always had a big heart.” I smile at him.
It’s a shame it’s no longer mine.
Toby
“So what are your plans for the remainder of today?” I ask as we head out of the café and towards her car.
I really don’t want this to end so damn quickly, but from the look on her face, when her fiancé texted her, she needs to return home or else might get into trouble. I don’t know what for; nothing happened between us. Just a friendly hug, but that’s all it was. However, my cock and heart had other things to say when she was wrapped in my arms. Suddenly, I felt whole again; like my other half had returned. Yet, she isn’t mine—at least not anymore.
She shrugs whilst opening her car door. “I’m hoping Kyle will have a hell of a hangover so I can head upstairs to read.”
“At the risk of sounding stupid, what do you enjoy reading these days?” I ask.
She looks at me. “Nothing you ever say is stupid, Toby. To answer your question, I’m a sucker for a great romance book but I enjoy a bit of crime and thriller now and again. Kyle, of course, thinks me reading romance is a waste, but he also thinks my teaching job is too.”
I frown. I don’t like what I’m hearing about this guy. She used to be so headstrong and so sure of herself, but the woman I see before me is very different. She’s shy and unsure what to think or feel on her own and I think it’s because of him.
“You should join Aria’s book club. I think they meet every Saturday night though I’m sure it’s just an excuse to drink wine.” I chuckle.
She laughs. “She mentioned it when I met her for a coffee and I’d really like to, but how about the next time Kyle is out of town? He doesn’t approve of me spending time with Aria and honestly, I’m not sure why.”
Frowning again, I keep my mouth shut. The things I really want to say I shouldn’t.
“Let us know when he’s out of town and we’ll arrange it. I’ll pick you up and drive you home if that suits.”
“Absolutely, and then you can let me meet that cute cat of yours.”
“He’d love you, I’m sure. Enjoy the rest of your day and I expect I’ll hear from you when you start reading through the letters.”
“Talk soon,” she promises and gets into her car.
I wait for her to leave the carpark and I head back over to my own vehicle, then I fire a text off to Aria.
Me: Hey, are you home?
Aria: Sure am. Why?
Me: Could I pop by?
Aria: Yeah the girls are coming at 5.
Me: That’s fine. I’ll be gone by then. I’ll see you shortly.
Jumping into my car, I make my way to Aria’s place. Along the drive I think of Sasha. Hell, I can’t think of anything else lately. She’s driving me absolutely crazy. The only time I’m not thinking about her is when I’m at work and focused on a case. I wonder whether she thinks I’m corny for keeping all those letters.
Pulling my car into Aria’s driveway, I park outside her front door. As I enter the house, I find Aria in the kitchen, banging around rather loudly.
“Hey,” I say, closing the door behind me, then stepping into the lounge.
“Oh hey, come here and try this.” She scoops something onto a spoon and makes me taste it. Swallowing quickly, it burns the back of my throat in the process. “Well?” she asks.
“Hang on. Let me…umm…cool my mouth down first,” I say, grabbing myself a glass of water.
“Oops, sorry. I forgot it was hot.”
“It was delicious. What are you making?” I ask.
“Lasagne just like Mum used to make. The girls are coming for book club. I even made lemon meringue pie for dessert.”
I lean my forearms on her counter. “So this book club, can anyone be a member?”
“You must read romance and enjoy wine to be a member.”
“Damn, I knew there was a catch. Speaking of book club and members. I think Sasha really wants to come along but–”
“Let me guess, her so-called fiancé won’t let her.”
“Bingo.”
“So I take it you two sorted things out then?” she asks.
“Yes. I saw her last night at a bar and cornered her, then I asked her to meet me today. I took the box of letters to her and I’ve just left now to come here. I also offered to bring her to the next book club meeting when her fiancé is out of town. She can drink with you girls, and I’ll join Simon and we’ll play some pool. I’ll even let Charlotte paint my nails.”
She bursts into laughter. “You’re only saying that because you secretly want to spend more time with Sasha.”
“I lost her once, I’m not doing it again.”
She looks at me. “Toby, just don’t do anything stupid like falling in love with her. Keep your distance; be there as friend and confidante but not her lover,” she warns.
“Have you been talking to Jake because he told me not to do anything stupid last night too.”
She shakes her head. “No, I haven’t and he seems to be spending an awful lot of time with Steph lately too. I wonder what’s going on there.”
“Don’t read into it. Anyway, enough of these problems. Feed me, damn it,” I demand.
“I take it this means you’re staying f
or dinner?”
I throw her a ‘duh’ look and laugh. “Where is Simon?”
“In his office, drawing with Charlotte I think,” she replies as their front door opens again and James and Riley come through, their delightfully playful puppies at their feet.
“Come on Toby, let’s leave the ladies to talk while you and I go play pool. Where’s Simon?” James asks Aria.
“Colouring with Charlotte.”
James slaps me on the shoulder and I follow him into the library where the pool table is. After a couple of rounds of pool we’re joined by Simon whose sporting brightly coloured finger nails. They sit and talk business with me listening but not really hearing what they’re saying since I’m too focused on Sasha and what she’s doing at the moment. Is she thinking of me like I am of her or has she accepted my apology with no desire to see me again? I guess only time will tell.
Chapter Ten
Sasha
“Haere mai Tamariki. Listen up. Today, we’re going on a trip to the New Zealand Police Museum. You’ve got your groups, so make sure you don’t run away from them. Remember who your parent or teacher helper is. Have fun and remember to ask the police officer any questions you wish to know.”
Glenn, the principal, calls down the bus to the kids. His statement makes me turn my head towards him. I wasn’t aware there would be a police officer showing the groups around. My heart jumps excitedly, hoping that one of them will be Toby. I’d love to see him even though I’m only halfway through his box of letters which are making me realise why I fell in love with him in the first place.
Smiling to myself, I feel my pulse race, heartbeat quicken as my body pressure skyrockets.
My dreams over the last few nights are sexy, naughty and full of Toby. I swear I can even smell his cologne when I’m sleeping. I haven’t wanted the dreams to end knowing once morning comes I’ll be back to reality and…Kyle.
The only downside to this trip is Felicity. Connor’s mother volunteered to be a parent helper and though I’m grateful for her help, I’m pretty sure the only reason she’s coming along is to hopefully see Toby or at least make sure I stay away from him.