Totally Worth Christmas (The Worth Series, Book 4.5: A Copper Country Novella)

by Mara Jacobs

  “Wasn’t Finn clear that Clea wasn’t in immediate danger? I told him to make that very clear. I knew I should have talked to—”

  “That wasn’t it. I mean, I was concerned about Gran, of course, but Finn was clear about her condition.” Lizzie waited. Phoebe took a deep breath, running her hands across her face and wiping away her tears. “What I felt for this guy was so real it scared me. When we left the diner, I hoped he’d come back the next night, but like I said, I’d protected myself if he didn’t. But all that morning, I started thinking about if he did. I mean, really thinking about it. Beyond, ‘Oh, he likes me.’”

  She clasped her hands in her lap, her skin even paler than normal against the red satin of Alison’s dress. “It was real, Lizzie. And deep. Even though we’d only met, it was like…we knew. You know?”

  Lizzie nodded. “Sometimes you just know.”

  “And I knew. And I also knew this was it. No more roommates and loser boyfriends that I could walk away from, or who could walk away from me. This was grown-up time.”

  “That is some scary shit, for sure,” Lizzie said.

  “And I know I want what you and Finn have. But, if I’m being honest, I think on some level I picked loser boyfriends because I knew there was no risk of a future together. That I wasn’t ready, or because of my messed-up mom, I didn’t deserve it or something.”

  “Of course you deserve happiness. With a good guy.” Lizzie emphasized the last.

  “I know that…in theory.”

  “But in reality?”

  She shrugged, unable to escape the truth. “In reality, when it became a possibility, I took the first chance I could to run like hell.”

  “Well, you know…”

  “But I came to my senses. Right around Marquette, I pulled over and called the diner to ask the owner to pass on my cell number if a guy came looking for me.”

  “See. Your good sense overrode your fear. Good girl.”

  “Yeah, except I’d already quit with no notice. The owner laughed and told me to…you know. He wasn’t going to be helping me out anytime soon.”

  “But you had made the choice to follow through, right? To try for a grown-up, real relationship with this guy?” Phoebe nodded her head, and Lizzie continued. “That’s so huge, Pheebs. That’s, like, ninety percent of the battle.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe, but the realization came too late.”

  “Bah-humbug. Don’t be a Scrooge, even if ‘tis the season.”

  “Huh?”

  Lizzie was already standing up and pacing in front of Phoebe. “First thing tomorrow we’ll make a list. We’ll deconstruct that night minute by minute.” At Phoebe’s look of shock, Lizzie laughed. “Well, not those minutes. But all the stuff you guys talked about. I know you said you didn’t do the contact info stuff, but I’ll bet we can get some clues.” She was talking to herself now. “The right clues. And then we’ll get online. This is going to be a cinch.”

  “Wow,” Phoebe said. Lizzie stopped her plotting and looked at her. “Finn didn’t stand a chance, did he?”

  A beguiling smile crossed Lizzie’s face. “Nope. Not a chance.”

  “And thank God for that,” Phoebe said and rose from the bed to give Lizzie a hug.

  “There you are,” Alison said, entering the room with Katie Luna behind her. Phoebe had met Katie at the same time she’d met Alison, though Katie’s breathtaking beauty had intimidated the crap out of Phoebe. She seemed really nice, though.

  There was a pointed look between Lizzie and Katie, and Katie gave a small nod. “You told her?” Lizzie asked.

  “Yes,” Katie said. Both women moved into the room, joining hands, and then hugs, with Lizzie. Phoebe found herself right in the middle of the group hug.

  “Katie’s pregnant,” Lizzie said as the women untangled themselves.

  “Oh, congratulations,” Phoebe said. “But. Don’t you…didn’t you…?” She was trying to remember the news that Lizzie kept her apprised of.

  “Have a baby just last winter? Just ten months ago? Yes, that was me,” Katie said, a laugh gurgling up as she finished. “I know, I know. I’m going to have my hands full.”

  “You know what’s so weird,” Lizzie said. “I said to Phoebe on the drive over here that I thought we were going to hear some baby news tonight.” She pointed at Alison. “I just thought it was going to come from you.”

  “Well…” Alison said.

  “You’re not?”

  “No, not pregnant. But I do have some news.”

  Phoebe saw Lizzie and Katie shoot glances at Alison’s very bare left ring finger.

  Alison looked at her bare wrist, like there was a watch on it. “In about ten minutes, I’m going to become Mrs. Petey Ryan.”

  Phoebe felt like she was in a room of fifteen-year-old girls, not late-thirties women, based on the shrieks and whoops.

  “Katie, will you be my matron of honor?” Alison asked after the hugging and giggling settled down.

  Katie said yes, and the two women hugged. Then Katie looked from Alison to Lizzie and back again to Alison, her brow raised in question.

  Phoebe felt Lizzie stiffen beside her. Lizzie had Alison and Katie as her co-maids of honor at her wedding. Phoebe thought she remembered Lizzie mentioning that she and Alison were co-maids for Katie.

  Phoebe was about to put her arm around her obviously hurt sister-in-law when Alison said, “Don’t worry, Lizard, you’re involved, too.”

  “What, am I reading a scripture or some such bullshit? You know, it’s bad enough you didn’t tell me so I could help you plan, but—”

  “Zip it, Lizard. You’re not reading a scripture,” Alison said and then waited for what Phoebe took as dramatic effect. “You’re Petey’s best man.”

  Chapter Eight

  Bah, humbug.

  ~ Ebenezer Scrooge

  “Al must have just told the girls,” Petey said, explaining the girlie shrieking and giggling coming from upstairs. “Lizzie is going to be pissed that she didn’t get to plan this.”

  “Plan what? The party?” Charlie asked. He and Petey stood on the edge of the great room, near the hallway that led to the stairs in one direction and to the main entryway in the other.

  “It’s more than a party, Charlie. I’m about—Becks! You finally made it. I thought you two might be no-shows. And believe me, you wouldn’t have wanted to miss this party.”

  Charlie turned to see Sawyer Beck and Deni Casparich walking toward them, hand in hand. Sawyer, like all the men present, had on a suit and tie. It was the first time Charlie had seen him so dressed up. And Deni…

  “Wow,” he said as they couple stopped in front of Charlie and Petey.

  “Deni,” Petey said. “Holy shit, you clean up good.”

  Not quite how Charlie would have put it, but it was certainly true. Her brown hair, usually in a ponytail, was down and curled loosely, and she was wearing a green dress that had a poofy skirt. And heels. Charlie didn’t think he’d ever seen his buddy in heels before.

  Deni took Petey’s compliment in stride. “Thanks, Petey. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

  In fact, Charlie had to admit, Petey looked the most…civilized that he’d ever seen the jock. Clean-shaven, hair recently cut, impeccable black suit with a silk tie, even a jaunty red pocket square.

  “Well you know, host and all. Couldn’t let any of the guests show me up,” Petey said.

  “No chance of that,” Sawyer said. They both said hello to Charlie. Most of the awkwardness around the couple was gone now, but there was always just a hint of possessiveness on Sawyer’s part whenever Charlie was around. Which was fine with Charlie. He suspected Deni secretly liked it.

  He did miss his confidant, though. He would have liked to have told Deni all about Phee and have her pat his back with comfort. But those days were no more. And given how happy Deni had been this past nine months, Charlie could live with that.

  “What took you guys so long, anyway?” Petey said.

&
nbsp; Deni and Sawyer exchanged a look filled with intimacy and a knowing that Charlie now recognized. He’d shared a look like that with Phee while they’d danced—a silent agreement.

  “Well, we had a little side trip on our way here,” Deni said.

  “Oh, details, details,” Petey said.

  No, no details, Charlie thought. He was over his crush on Deni, but he certainly didn’t want to hear about their quickie on the way to the party.

  “Not that kind of side trip,” Deni said.

  “Dude, get your mind out of the gutter,” Sawyer said. “That’s my fiancée you’re talking about.” A big grin filled Sawyer’s face as Deni unlinked her hand from his and showed off a huge rock on her left ring finger.

  “No shit? Man, that’s great,” Petey said, shaking Sawyer’s hand. The big man then bent down to kiss Deni on the cheek. Charlie was waiting for some crack, but Petey merely said, “You’ve got a good man, Deni, but he’s truly the lucky one.”

  “Awww, thanks, Petey,” Deni said.

  The happy couple looked at Charlie, then away. He took a step closer to them and stuck out his hand to Sawyer. “Congratulations. Really.”

  Sawyer shook Charlie’s hand and nodded. Deni kissed Charlie on the cheek, looking at him with what was near pity. He took her hand, looked her in the eye and said, “Really, Deni, I am very happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Charlie,” she said softly, her smile returning.

  “Sorry to steal your thunder, Becks,” Petey said. “But I can top that, ‘cause in about ten minutes, I’m going to be the happiest man in the room.”

  “Yeah?” Sawyer said, “Why’s that?”

  Petey looked at his watch. “We’re moments away from Alison walking down those steps to ‘Here Comes The Bride.’”

  “Seriously?” Charlie, Deni and Sawyer all said at the same time.

  Petey grinned. “You betcha.”

  It wasn’t a vision of white that came flying down the stairs, but blue, as Lizzie Robbins quickly descended, saw Petey and launched herself at him. He caught her and twirled her around, her blue dress gliding out behind them. He set her down. She stepped away and then hugged the big man once again.

  “I’m so…” Lizzie choked up on her words, and Petey put his arm around her.

  “I know, Lizard, I know. Me too.” He squeezed her shoulder, then let her go. “Now, are you ready to be my best man?”

  Lizzie smiled and nodded, wiping tears away. Man, there was a lot of stuff bringing Lizzie Robbins to tears tonight, Charlie thought to himself. He wasn’t sure how well she knew Deni and Sawyer, but their news would probably bring on the waterworks, too.

  Then, just as suddenly as they started, Lizzie’s tears stopped. She jumped into action, walking deeper into the great room. “Okay, can I have everyone’s attention? We need to get some people seated up front here, and…” Lizzie kept on with the instructions, but Charlie decided to head the other way. As he turned to move down the hallway, he saw a flash of a red dress at the top of the stairs, but the person hadn’t moved down far enough for Charlie to see her face.

  Probably the blonde in the red dress he was supposed to bring a beer to. He almost waited until she came fully into sight, but then he heard Lizzie announcing to all the guests what was about to happen and the cheers and buzz made him turn away.

  He moved into the kitchen, in theory to get another beer, but in reality to take a break from all the happy news.

  He’d meant what he’d said to Deni. He was happy for her and Sawyer. And Petey and Alison. And Katie and Darío with their baby news. But good God, how much love and joy was a broken-hearted fool supposed to bear?

  He grabbed a beer out of the bucket and reached for a towel to wipe it down. Except it wasn’t a towel. It was an apron tossed on the counter next to the sink.

  And Charlie plummeted back into that glorious, cursed night with Phee.

  Chapter Nine

  I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

  ~ Charles Dickens

  The Friday night after Thanksgiving

  “I don’t want this night to end,” Charlie said as he zipped up her uniform for her. He placed a soft kiss on her neck and ran his hands down her arms, squeezing her hands.

  “I have news for you. The night has already ended.” She took a quick glance at her watch, reluctant to take her hand from him, even for that second. “Maureen and Stan will be here in a half hour to prep for the breakfast shift. They’re the owners.”

  “There can’t possibly be anything left to prep. You’ve done, like, everything that could possibly be done to this place. They’ll praise you for your diligence. You might even get a raise.” His hands were on her waist now and stayed there as she turned to face him. She smiled at his words—knowing there would be no praise, and certainly no raise, from her stingy bosses. He smiled back at her, and her tummy did a little flip-flop. Or maybe it was her heart.

  She wrapped her hands around his neck, pressing herself against his warm, hard body. She kissed him, softly at first, then deeper. His hands moved from her waist up her back, pulling her even closer. Then one hand slid down and cupped her butt. Against her tummy she felt the beginnings of another erection.

  “No, really, we need to get out of here. Buddy’s cool, but Stan and Maureen won’t be pleased to know I spent the night here. And certainly not that I had sex in the bathroom.”

  She made quick work of cleaning the bathroom counter, slapping Charlie’s hands away good naturedly as he tried to remove her uniform once again. Admitting defeat, he handed her apron to her, which she quickly tied around her waist.

  After she was satisfied with the bathroom, she led him out, holding his hand. She took him through the diner, stopping at his booth—their booth—to pull his coat from the hook. They walked on past the jukebox which now stood silent, their paid songs having run out at some point while Charlie had been deep inside her. They moved beyond the counter, and through the doors to the back. At the end of the kitchen was an alcove where each waitress had a locker holding her personal items and coat and such. She opened hers and started to bend over to get her boots.

  “Here, let me,” Charlie said as he knelt in front of her and gently lifted her foot up and slid her Nike off. It was the one concession to the retro uniforms that Stan and Maureen would allow. After years of wearing spiky, high-heeled sandals as a cocktail waitress at the casino, Phoebe was giddy with relief to finally be able to wear comfortable shoes during a shift.

  Charlie lifted her other foot and did the same. He took her boots from the floor of the locker and set them next to her feet. He then started to place the Nikes in her locker, but noticed the puddle of water that melted snow from her boots had created. Instead, he stood the shoes up, balancing them against the wall of the locker, so that they wouldn’t get wet from the melted snow puddle.

  The small, thoughtful gesture made Phoebe’s throat close with emotion. She put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, in theory to balance herself, but in truth to feel him again. It had only been moments ago since he’d held her in his arms, and already she missed him.

  Sliding the boots onto her feet, he looked up at her, and she knew he was feeling the same tumult of emotions that she was. When he finally stood, he skimmed his hands up her sides. Then he reached inside the locker and pulled out her scarf, which he gently wrapped around her neck. A neck he’d kissed and nuzzled and marked as his own. He helped her on with her coat and did up the toggle buttons for her. She then took his coat, which she’d swung over the locker door, and bundled him in it.

  “Time to go,” she said. Damn, if she started tearing up, she’d just die.

  Charlie had a look of frustration on his face. “How do I see you again? You wouldn’t even let us do last names. Mine is—”

  She put a hand over his mouth, stopping him. “I know what I said. And I still stand by it. Even after we…even after.” Giving him a warning look, she slowly took her hand away. “I’m here t
onight. I start at four. I’m on until midnight.” She took a deep breath, scared to do this and yet determined. “I really want to see you again, Charlie. But, after taking the day to think about it, if you only want it to have been one lovely night, I want to be okay with that.” He started to interrupt her, but she held her hand up like she’d muzzle him again, and he stopped. “And it will be easier for me to be okay with it if I don’t know anything more about you. Trust me on this.”

  “At least give me your last name,” he said, with pleading in his voice.

  “Just come back tomorrow. Tonight, I mean. I’ll tell you then. I’ll tell you every way to contact me that you want, but only tonight. And only because you want it to be for more than one night.”

  “That’s crazy. What if something happens?”

  That’s what she was afraid of—something happening. But not the kind of thing he was thinking of. She was thinking that he’d change his mind and not show, and then Phoebe would be armed with too much information. She’d been a bit…aggressive in the past with boys who blew her off—following them on Facebook, hanging out in places she knew they’d be. But she’d worked past it, and for the first time in her life she didn’t feel like she needed a man in her life to be complete.

  And then Charlie had walked into her diner and rocked her world.

  This guy is different. She knew it deep in her soul. And as warm and tingly as it made her feel, it also scared her a little. “If something happens, then it wasn’t meant to be.” Way more Zen than she actually felt, and yet she did feel that there was some cosmic serendipity at play here, had been the entire night, for her to feel so strongly so quickly.

  “No. I can’t…” He didn’t finish his sentence, seeing the resolve on her face. He knew her well, even after such a short time.

  “Tonight. I’ll see you tonight,” she said and kissed him goodbye.

  Three weeks later

  Charlie left the kitchen, but instead of heading back toward the great room, he made his way down the hallway to the entrance, stopping at the little alcove room that held all the outerwear. He reached for his boots, wanting to make his escape before the wedding ceremony began. He was happy for his friend, but all the memories of Phee that had been wafting around him all night had finally caught up with him, and he had to leave. The apron had been the last straw.