Fortune Funhouse (Miss Fortune Mysteries Book 19)

by Jana DeLeon

As soon as they stepped out, I knelt down beside Brandon and pressed my fingers to his neck. The second I touched him, he jumped and his eyes flew open. He stared at me, his expression full of shock and pain. He tried to speak but it was barely a whisper. I leaned over close to him and he said a single word before his eyes closed again.

  Sorry.

  Instantly, I flew into action. I grabbed a throw off the couch and wrapped it around his abdomen, then jumped up as I heard Ida Belle’s SUV pull up. Things I thought I knew were getting muddled and a really bad feeling swept through me. I yanked out my phone and sent a text to Deputy Breaux.

  Send paramedics and cops to Francine’s cabin. Gunshot wound. Can’t talk. HURRY.

  I headed out onto the porch just as Gertie had finished up wrapping Amber’s leg. She stood up and Ida Belle jumped out of her SUV and hurried up to us.

  “Sorry, I ran into a bit of a problem—”

  Amber looked up at me. “Is he…?”

  I nodded and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

  “The wound isn’t deep,” Gertie said. “This should hold fine until we can get her to the hospital.”

  “I don’t know how to thank you,” Amber said. “If you hadn’t come when you did…”

  “Yes,” I said as I studied her face. “It was excellent timing. For us to catch a killer anyway. Gertie, I need you to handcuff Amber.”

  “What?” Amber jumped up and stared at me as I leveled my pistol at her.

  Ida Belle and Gertie looked back and forth from me to Amber, their eyes wide.

  “Gertie?” I prompted.

  She broke out of her trance and reached for her purse, but before she could grab it, Palmer Reed stepped around the corner of the camp and placed his pistol on the back of Gertie’s head.

  “Good God, Palmer,” Ida Belle said. “This is no time to try to settle your one-sided competition with Carter.”

  I shook my head. “That’s not why he’s here. When I realized Amber was in on it, I knew there was someone else. Someone besides Brandon. But it didn’t occur to me that it was you until just a minute ago.”

  “Put your gun down on the ground,” he said. “Slowly. You may be a crack shot, but you can’t shoot me before I can pull the trigger.”

  Not only was he right, he was positioned behind Gertie to where I didn’t have a clean line of sight. I could make a side dive, but not as quickly as he could fire. It killed me to do it, but I crouched down and placed my gun on the porch floor.

  Amber started to move for the gun but Palmer stopped her.

  “Don’t touch that,” he said.

  “Why not?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Because this is a cover-up, and you’re a liability.”

  Amber whirled around to stare at Palmer, but it was clear from his expression that I had called it correctly. She sank into her chair, the color draining from her face.

  “Too bad you didn’t listen and stay out of it,” Palmer said to me. “You go to the grave. Carter goes to jail.”

  “But you won’t have any money,” I said.

  “I have a backup plan,” he said.

  “You mean the part where you and Brandon have the same father—Sean?” I asked.

  Gertie gasped and Ida Belle’s jaw dropped.

  “The problem with that,” I continued, “is that everyone knows about Sean now. And while Cam was conveniently cremated and we couldn’t test DNA with him, Sean is in CODIS, isn’t he? And even if he’s not, he was buried and it would be a really simple matter to have him exhumed for a test.”

  He grinned. “And who’s going to know to do that with you three meddlers gone and Carter in jail?”

  “I’d roll the dice on Big Hebert,” I said. “You see, he’s an associate of mine and is very fond of Emmaline and Carter. Not so much of you. He knows exactly what you are.”

  “You’re bluffing,” Palmer said, but I could tell I’d struck a nerve. “Big Hebert doesn’t have associates.”

  “Keep thinking that,” I said. “Big Hebert has been part of my investigation from the beginning. He knows everything I’ve found and he won’t let this go, especially when I disappear. You’ve got four people you want to make vanish. Do you really think no one is coming for us? It’s over, Palmer. Turn yourself in now before you kill someone else and get the death penalty.”

  “I don’t think so,” he said and smiled. “You see, I still have another option—I can take all of you out and never make a claim for the money. That eliminates me completely from consideration because I have no motive. No one will even look my direction.”

  My heart fell because he was right. No one but the four of us knew that Palmer was behind the entire thing. With us out of the way, he could continue on with his life as normal. He wouldn’t have the big payout he was hoping for, but he wouldn’t be in prison, either.

  Checkmate.

  I heard rustling in the woods behind Palmer and hoped that someone had managed to sneak up on us. I had the gun I’d taken from Amber shoved in my waistband at my back. If I could just get a couple seconds of distraction, I could make the shot. The rustling turned into a roar and the bear bolted out of the woods, headed directly toward us.

  Palmer whipped around at the sound of the roar and Gertie immediately ducked. I pulled out the pistol and squeezed off a round. Palmer had seen Gertie duck and was already diving behind the side of the camp when I fired, so I caught him in the shoulder. As the bear charged closer, I grabbed my own gun, then ran into the camp, Gertie and Ida Belle right behind me. Before I could slam the door shut, Amber stumbled in.

  “Guess you bet on the wrong pony, huh?” Gertie said and pulled out her handcuffs.

  Amber’s eyes widened. “You’re not going to handcuff me with that thing out there?”

  “Darn right I am,” Gertie said. “Or you can head out with your partner and see how you fare. Of course, he’s bleeding and I’m pretty sure that bear smells it…” Amber tucked her arms behind her back and Gertie clicked on the cuffs, then pointed to the couch.

  “Call Mannie,” I said to Gertie. “Tell him about Palmer. In the slim chance this goes sideways, I need someone else to know.”

  “Why does Brandon have that blanket wrapped around him?” Amber asked.

  “Because he’s alive,” I said. “Ida Belle, see if there’s anything else you can do for him.”

  I placed the gun Amber had used on the kitchen counter and peered out the back window. I saw Palmer running toward the water, the bear not far behind. There was a boat at the dock. Crap! Amber must have warned him. So he’d driven in part of the way, then paddled the rest, and we hadn’t heard him approach. If he could manage the next thirty yards ahead of the bear, he had a chance.

  Gertie came up beside me. “He’s going to get away!”

  “Not if I can help it,” I said.

  “You can’t go out there with a raging bear,” Gertie said. “And despite my preferences, you can’t shoot Palmer from the doorway either. I mean, not without trouble.”

  She was right. The bear was the obstacle in the way of my catching Palmer.

  “Do you have fireworks in your purse?” I asked.

  “Do you even know me?” Gertie asked.

  I opened the back door. “Fire them at the bear. Get her back into the woods.”

  I dashed out the door and ran straight at the charging bear. Probably not the smartest thing I’d ever done, but since it wasn’t the dumbest, I figured it all evened out. A bottle rocket whizzed past me and directly over the bear’s head before it exploded. Wild animals were far smarter than most people gave them credit for. It wasn’t a gunshot, but it sounded like one to the bear. She slid to a stop, changed directions, and bolted for the woods. Gertie followed up the first bottle rocket with a second and I knew she’d keep going to make sure the bear wasn’t tempted to return.

  Palmer glanced back at the first fireworks explosion and saw me coming after him. He fired one wild shot behind him but wasn’t about to risk slowing
down to be more accurate. He had a good fifty yards on me and even though I was closing fast, he was going to make it to the boat before I could reach him. And then he’d be gone. Sure, he’d probably be caught later because I seriously doubted he had an exit plan. But I didn’t want him lurking in the shadows somewhere. I wanted him behind bars before Emmaline left that hospital.

  There was only one way to make that happen.

  Well, besides shooting him.

  I slowed a bit and aimed at the outboard motor on the boat. I stepped in a hole right when I fired, so the shot went wide. I slowed a bit more and aimed again. This one was perfect. I couldn’t be certain how much damage it had done, but it had to be enough to keep the boat from running. Palmer fired another wild shot at me, and I put another round in the motor in response.

  Realizing his getaway was out of commission, he changed tactics. I’d hoped he would surrender but didn’t really expect him to. I figured he’d stop running and just start firing, which would leave me no choice but to return fire. Instead, he opted for a move that I hadn’t considered at all.

  He dived into the bayou and started swimming for the opposite bank.

  I saw a camp on the other side and cursed. If there was a vehicle over there, he could boost it and we’d be back to looking for him again.

  Maybe no one would complain too much about a flesh wound.

  That was it. When he emerged on the other bank, I’d shoot him in the rear. It wouldn’t kill him, but it would incapacitate him enough to catch him.

  He was halfway across when the alligator surfaced in front of the other bank.

  I heard him scream, then he spun around in the water and started thrashing madly to get back to my side. I heard running behind me and Gertie huffed up beside me, clutching a wad of bottle rockets in one hand and her purse in the other. I pointed to the gator.

  “It’s Godzilla,” she said.

  “If he keeps taking out the bad guys, I’m going to have to put him on payroll,” I said.

  “Shoot him, you stupid—” The last word of Palmer’s yelling was cut off as he sucked in a mouthful of bayou water, but I was pretty sure I knew what it was.

  “Who’s he calling stupid?” Gertie asked. “He jumped in the bayou with a gunshot wound.”

  “You got anything we can feed that gator?” I asked. “Because I don’t want to have to arm wrestle him for the arrest.”

  “I have a frozen burrito that I forgot was in there. It’s not frozen anymore.”

  “Perfect. As soon as Palmer hits the bank, yell at Godzilla and toss him the goods. And pass me some zip ties.”

  We headed closer to the bank and I worried that Palmer wasn’t going to make it. Godzilla was closing fast and looking determined. When Palmer’s feet finally touched bottom, he jumped up and took off for land, but since he was still in water and bayou mud up to his knees, the takeoff wasn’t all that impressive.

  He made it about ten feet before Godzilla latched onto his foot.

  He screamed again as he tried to crawl up the bank as the gator shook his leg and started to drag him backward.

  “You’re up,” I said to Gertie.

  She hurried to the edge of the water and yelled at Godzilla. I swear, as soon as the gator heard her call his name, he stopped shaking Palmer and looked over at Gertie. She waved the burrito in the air and Godzilla let go of Palmer’s leg and started moving toward her. She tossed the burrito and he caught it in midair, then disappeared again below the surface.

  Gertie cheered and I rushed to the bank to zip-tie Palmer’s wrists together. He didn’t even have the energy to struggle. I heard cheering behind me and looked back to see Ida Belle coming toward me, Deputy Breaux in tow.

  “That was a really good one,” Gertie said as Ida Belle and Deputy Breaux got closer. “I wish I would have gotten it on video. It would have been an awesome addition to my YouTube channel.”

  Ida Belle waved her cell phone in the air. “Please. You know I’ve got your back.”

  I grinned and gave them all high fives.

  Deputy Breaux looked at me, then at Palmer. “Anyone care to explain? Because I’m so confused.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  We all reconvened in my backyard that night. It had been a long day of questioning with the state police, who, despite their disdain for Palmer, were having trouble believing he had killed two people and was planning on killing four more. I’m pretty sure they’d thought he lacked the intelligence to create the plan he had and the backbone to carry it out. But the facts couldn’t be denied, and Amber was singing like a bird.

  Finally, we had all been cut loose—at least for the time being—and now there was quite a crowd in my backyard. Ida Belle and Gertie, of course, Carter, Deputy Breaux, Mannie, and even Big and Little had come out for the recounting festivities. Walter already knew the details and had elected to stay at the hospital with Emmaline. Ida Belle and I made sure everyone had something to drink and Carter and Deputy Breaux hauled my new oversize recliner onto the lawn for Big Hebert. Once we’d all taken a seat, everyone looked expectantly at me.

  “First,” I said, “I’d like to know Brandon’s status.”

  “He’s stable but still not out of the woods,” Carter said.

  “I bet Palmer’s praying he croaks,” Gertie said.

  “Well, don’t keep us in suspense,” Deputy Breaux said. “How the heck did you figure out Palmer was the ringleader of this mess?”

  “It didn’t hit me until Brandon apologized before passing out,” I said. “That’s when things started to fall into place. His right hand was severely bruised and his thumb dislocated, so chances of him even gripping a pistol, much less firing it, were slim. And when I looked closer, he had a ring around his wrist. It all pointed to him forcing his hand out of handcuffs.”

  “So Palmer killed Whiplash and Brandon managed to get away but tore up his hand getting out of the cuffs,” Ida Belle said, shaking her head.

  “That’s what I think,” I said. “But if Brandon wasn’t the one commanding the weapon in Francine’s camp, that only left Amber.”

  “So she shot herself to make it look like Brandon was the bad guy and the intention all along was to kill him, leaving only her word,” Deputy Breaux said.

  “Exactly,” I said. “And given how the evidence was stacking up against Brandon, she would have been believed.”

  “But how did you make the leap from her to Palmer?” Little asked.

  “There was no way Amber came up with this plan,” I said. “For starters, she had no access to information like the will and Sean and his children, so that meant she’d been recruited by someone who did. Since Whiplash had already been killed, that left him out of the mix as well. But there was one other person who could have accessed all that information—Palmer. He’d served in the Marine Corps and had always been known as a snoop when he was a kid. There was no reason to believe that had changed, so I believe he found out about the will by snooping in the colonel’s office.”

  “That would be par for the course,” Carter said.

  “And working warehouse inventory, he had access to military-grade weapons and my guess is he lifted the bomb equipment and who knows what else,” I said. “And then there was the final nail—Palmer got himself assigned to this investigation because he never intended to investigate. He never even took our statements after we found the body. He knew who St. Ives was because he’d hired him to watch Emmaline, but he also knew that St. Ives’s fingerprints wouldn’t pop and his identity was fake. Eventually, the case would have gone cold and been shoved into a box and put on a shelf to collect dust.”

  “But how did Palmer find out about Sean and Brandon?” Gertie asked. “Why would he even think to go looking just because Carter was going to inherit money?”

  “I don’t think that’s how it happened,” I said. “Palmer will probably never tell us everything but I’m going to hazard a guess that at some point, the man who raised him told him he wasn’t his biological
father.”

  “So why didn’t he ask his mother?” Gertie asked.

  “He probably did,” I said. “But remember, you heard that Palmer’s mom had gotten religion in a big way, so maybe she thought Palmer didn’t need to know about her poor decision. Or, given that she had a reputation for being a drunk party girl back then, it could be that she didn’t even know who his father was.”

  “So you think Palmer ran his DNA through the police databases,” Ida Belle said.

  “The state police have already verified that he did,” Carter said. “He logged it as DNA acquired from an assault case.”

  “He automatically assumed his father was a criminal?” Gertie asked.

  “Not necessarily,” Carter said. “CODIS contains information for some people besides criminals—for example, the family of missing persons will submit DNA so that if a body is found, the system will generate a familial match. And if his father was closely related to a criminal, he would get a match as well. My guess is he knew he could get a search past the system, so he figured why not. He’s always had that cavalier attitude. That’s why he was a horrible Marine.”

  “Sean popped and the match was so high, he knew that was his father,” I said.

  “So he went digging around and found out Sean was Cam’s brother,” Ida Belle said. “I bet that chapped his butt. Carter had beaten him again, getting the good brother as a father.”

  I nodded. “But then he remembered the colonel’s will and it probably really sent him through the roof. Carter was going to inherit a ton of money.”

  “So Palmer hatched his plan to pretend to be Carter’s half brother,” Gertie said. “But where does St. Ives come into the equation?”

  “I believe Palmer sent St. Ives to Sinful to determine two things,” I said. “Whether Cam had been buried or cremated and whether the family was aware of Sean’s existence. I have no idea how he presented it to St. Ives and we’ll likely never know.”

  “So St. Ives effectively cleared him for his plan,” Ida Belle said. “Then why put Brandon in the mix?”

  “His mother,” I said. “Even if she didn’t know who Palmer’s father was, she would have known who it wasn’t. She grew up in a neighboring town and knew Cam.”