by Carly White
He was the first to look away, still not saying a word. His eyes didn’t go far though, staring at my wet bare breasts in front of him. Billy grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. In his sitting position he was level with the hard tips from my excitement. I was unable to stop his greedy mouth latching on to one, sucking hard and nibbling on the sensitive skin. His strength surprised me and it was hard to see him as an injured man the way his hands held me still. There was no getting away, if I had wanted to.
I may have cursed, pushing back on his strong shoulders, but he wouldn’t be deterred and my plan was quickly backfiring on me. He pulled away and licked at the neglected one. Billy pulled me closer, his fingers digging into my sides. “I need further assistance.”
The speaker crackled to life, calling a Code Blue, which meant that I had to go. I remembered myself, pushing away and out of his grip. I grabbed my bra while he protested. “Where are you going?”
His voice was kind of whiny and it was the only time it was endearing to hear. “Someone’s heart stopped, I got to go.”
Billy didn’t seem all that worried about the person and I cursed myself for having to take the time to put my clothes back on. I should have been back downstairs, being far too liberal with my time. I unlocked the door, rushing out after I got all the way dressed. The speaker went off again and I left Billy out of my brain so I could pay attention.
***
The code was an old man that had come in with complications from COPD. He was a nice man that hadn’t made it and the rest of my shift was consoling family and a lot of paperwork. Rita never did paperwork and it put the whole place in a somber mood. It wasn’t a big town or a big hospital and it seemed that every loss was harder to take. It was the one part of the job that brought me down the most and when I left, I didn’t think of Billy, forgetting about our shared time together. Not until later that night when I was lying in bed, did I replay it a few times in my imagination. I was hoping for a good dream to come out of it and I woke up wet the next day.
I spent my morning in class and on the break in between, I almost called Billy. I didn’t though. What was I to say? Then the thought that he probably had that happen a lot came over me. It was silly for me to think that he would think about me, obsessing over it as I was. Everything would change when he got better, so there was no point in getter more involved. Billy would quickly forget about the quiet girl that just happened to be there at a good time for him.
Chapter 6
When I got to work later that evening, Billy had been released. I didn’t quite know if I was relieved or saddened. Either way, I had a job to do and I tried to focus on the patients and focus on what I was there to do. It would be some times until I would see him again, sure that he would be out of school as long as possible. With someone else doing his work and the need to stay as still as possible for the bone to heal, it wouldn’t surprise me if was going to be out of school for at least the next month until he was able to go on crutches.
I was right and it was actually a little longer before he was back. Every class I looked for him and it was only after the last couple history classes that he actually came in. He was walking on his leg with no help and the nursing student in me knew that it was a really good sign. Billy was surrounded by his old friends, many of them not seeing him in well over a month since it all happened during the homecoming game. I tried to ignore him when he came in. I knew that my eyes would give me away.
Billy had been on my mind for too long and it was hard not to feel a slight response in my body. It made me wonder what would have happened if I would have stayed and the code had not been called. How far would it have gone?
I shook my head and looked forward, waiting for the class to start. What I hadn’t expected was that he would come sit next to me. Still trying to keep my composure, I looked over to say hi. The word died in my lips with the mirrored look in his eyes. “Deidra. I have been calling you.”
“Yea I have been busy. Sorry about that. Your leg is looking good, not even really limping. What did the doctors say?”
He beamed a little and I knew it was good news. “That I can play this next week. Can you believe it?”
“Of course. I knew you would be back good as new in no time. I am happy for you Billy.”
“Me too. You were the only one that was there while I was in the hospital. It meant a lot to me, more than you will ever know.”
“I was just doing my job Billy, but I am really glad you got your life back. Soon you will be off to the NFL, drafted and making the big money. With a face like that, the endorsements will stream in in no time.”
“That is exactly what my agent said.”
“Well you should listen to him. Have a bit more faith in yourself Billy.”
The professor started talking and I pulled my eyes from him. I tried to ignore the awakening in my body, just from a smile. It was pathetic I told myself, warning my body to calm down. Billy’s chair moved towards me and his hand touched my thigh under the table. I looked at him for a second, my eyes questioning his actions. He didn’t seem deterred though, moving his hand higher up. It had to be the day I was wearing a skirt and chills ran up my spine from the touch.
“What are you doing?” My words were just a hoarse whisper.
“Returning a favor.”
I tried to stop his hand with my own, but he pushed me aside like it was nothing. “I am not stuck in a bed anymore Deidra.”
It was clear what he wanted, his hand jerking my leg towards his, opening up my thighs wider. His touch was hot compared to the cool air on my heated core. I made a gasping sound as he moved closer, finally touching the covered heat. I bit my lip and looked at him, his eyes focused on the reaction on my face. He seemed to like it far too much and I tried to close my legs. It only made me want him more and it pushed his hand harder against my wetness.
I was embarrassed at how wet I was and I knew the exact moment he felt it. Leaning over towards me, he whispered in my ear. “Tell me you don’t want to come and I will stop.”
I couldn’t say that and my mouth refused to say it even though I wanted to. “Were you this wet when you teased me at the hospital?”
Nodding my head, I opened my legs back up to give him a better feel of my wetness. He took full advantage of the offer and I was left gasping next to him as his finger found its way against my hot hole, pressing in softly. I made a low groan as he pushed in deeper. “Fuck.”
He made a low chuckle in the back of his throat and added another finger to my heat, stretching my unused walls. “If you can be quiet, I will let you come.”
My mouth snapped shut and I faced forward, leaning back, slouching to give him more of a feel and myself more of what I needed. I had to bite my lip to stop the sounds that I wanted to make. His hand moved faster and I was quickly to an end, my eyes staring off in the right direction, but seeing nothing. I was so close, my body tightening, every muscle in my body in revolt.
Then he stopped. I mewled low and he leaned in, pushing deeper. “Say please.”
I closed my mouth, my eyes narrowing. I squeezed his intrusion, pushing him deeper without a need for his help. Just another second or two and I could have been there, in the blissful explosion that I needed so badly. “Say it or I will stop.”
He moved his hand away slowly, pulling out as my inner muscles tried to keep him in. I knew what he wanted. Billy wanted the control and I didn’t want to give it away. I was quickly losing my mind though, so something had to be done. “please.”
My voice was small and it sounded a little desperate even to my own ears. “Louder.”
“Please!”
He grinned and pressed back in. My face was red and some of the other people around us gave me a strange look. Thank goodness I was in the back of the room. Mortification would have been the only way to describe if the professor would have heard me. It was bad enough that anyone did. Soon I was uncaring though, more worried about getting off. I needed to so bad that I thought I m
ay very well explode from sheer want.
Tightening up as he moved faster, my fingers gripped the side of the table that was hiding our deed. Then it was too late and I was coming on his moving hand. My legs clamped shut, but he continued to slide in and out of my weeping hole. I tried to stop him, my body pushed to the limit. It was too much, but he didn’t seem bothered.
“Please Billy.”
Moving closer, his breath blew on my neck and his lips almost touching my earlobe. “Promise me that you will come see me tonight.”
I shook my head quickly, anything to stop him from doing anymore. I couldn’t take it and I needed a break. “Please I promise.”
Just as suddenly as he was there, he was gone and I was left panting next to him. I looked up at the board in front of the class and my eyes were blurry, unable to focus on the words scrawled on the surface. There was a little sweat at the back of my neck and when he pulled away, the cool breeze cooled me. My legs shook as I scooched away from him. I was unable to meet his gaze, trying to get my breathing and heart back under control. I had never came without a sound, the feeling almost like I was still filled, unable to release the scream that begged to rip out of my throat.
When the bell rang and I was finally able to get up on my wobbly knees, he stopped me before I could leave the classroom. “Come see me tonight at my place. You know where the Delta Phi house is, don’t you?”
I nodded, though I wasn’t going to be going. I couldn’t believe what I had agreed to and it was like the man did not know how to take the answer no. Instead of sticking around to say anything else, I left without looking back. I was embarrassed at the way I had acted, but my body felt satiated like it hadn’t felt in a long time, maybe ever.
Chapter 7
“What are you doing home? I thought you had history class at ten.”
“I did, but it is the last class and I have enough points for my A. Really no point in going.”
“I hear that, but you are usually so vigilant.”
I shrugged, not able to tell her the real reason. I loved Melissa and all, she was a good friend, but she had a large mouth. “So what are you doing for break?”
“Just going home I think. I was thinking of staying on here, but I need a few days of sleep.”
I laughed. She had been boozing it hard lately and the black circles around her eyes showed it.
“So what are you doing Deidra, working?”
“No, I am taking the break off and going home too. Haven’t seen some of my old friends in a while and mom needs help planting her garden.”
She nodded. I would be the first to admit that my plans weren’t that exciting, but I needed some time away. I had explained at work that I was wearing down, feeling like I was going to burn out. They had agreed to some time off and I was thankful for it. In truth, I was running from a promise that I couldn’t keep. There was no way I could let Billy touch me again. With him, I lost myself and the control that I desperately needed in my life. Ever since that night that he came into the hospital, he had side railed my plans and I had to get away and take some time to remember what was the most important thing in my life. Right now, it was my studies and getting into a good program when I graduated.
“Well you should come back a couple days early so we can go out before starting back.”
I agreed, but knew that I wouldn’t. I needed as many days as I could away from that place. What I needed was some time at home for a much needed reality check. Billy’s offers had not stopped and since he was back to normal, he would soon be richer than his wildest dreams and girls like Leslie would be a dime a dozen. I was sure that there wouldn’t be any room for me in his future, so I had to forget about him. It was impossible when he was around, so I was in hiding and had to leave. He had called the night before several times, but I had ignored the rings, eventually turning my phone off so I could try to go to sleep. It wasn’t forthcoming for some time.
Now, I was packing when I was supposed to be finishing up classes, but as I packed a few bags into my car, I knew it was the right choice. We were from two different worlds and it would never work out. No sense in dragging it on when someone was going to get hurt, especially when I knew that someone was most assuredly going to be me. It was self-preservation, plain and simple.
***
Home was as I remembered it and the slow pace just gave me more time to think. I had several missed calls and messages from Billy, but I wasn’t brave enough to actually read them. I knew he was mad and rightfully so. I had broken a promise, but I appeased my guilt with the fact that he had forced my hand. If I really thought about, every time he had manipulated the situation or took what he wanted. I had no other choice but retreat to keep my sanity intact.
“Deidra I swear, where is your mind at these days?”
“Huh? Sorry. What did you say?” I looked down sheepishly. I was thinking about Billy again, trying to get him out of my mind. I had been talking to my mother, but something she had said triggered it for me.
“I asked how you are liking the hospital?”
“Oh, it’s good.”
I looked away and tried to get the feel of Billy’s hands out of my mind. What had he done to me?
“That’s it, good?”
“Sorry, my mind is just somewhere else today.”
“Today, it’s been all week. I feel like you are still at school. What has you so rattled?”
I wanted to tell someone, but my mom wasn’t the one to tell. I could give her the short version, the very, very short version.
“I just got this guy at school and he has been distracting me. So I came here to get him off my mind, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.”
“Sounds like there is where you should be.”
“I have too much work to do though.”
“Are your grades suffering?”
“No.”
“Work?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Aren’t you supposed to tell me to study hard and all that?”
“Why would I say that? You work hard all the time. Lighten up Deidra, life is short.”
I sat back in the chair. It was certainly not the advice I had expected to receive. It was strange how she was acting. This was not the advice I had been given before. Before it was work and study first, social life later. She must have seen the confusion in my face because she kind of laughed. “Oh Deidra. It’s about time you found someone to make you smile like that.”
I looked down. Suddenly uncomfortable with where the conversation had went. I was there to forget about him, to get talked down from the ledge, but she was just encouraging it. Feeling my face getting hot, I took a sip of my drink. My mouth was suddenly dry and the one person I was not supposed to think about was back in my mind full time.
The conversation tuckered out and for that I was thankful. I don’t care how old I got it was still weird to talk to her about boys. She didn’t bring it back up again and I spent a few days there before I went back up to campus. My first class started at the beginning of the week, so it gave me the weekend to get my books and myself sorted.
I finally turned my phone back on and there were a lot of missed calls from Billy. The latest one was a few hours before and I realized I was going to have to answer it eventually. So I dialed the number back and held my breath as my heart pounded in my chest. I was never one to run away from anything and I don’t know why, but I wanted to get the issue on the table.
“Hey, you called?”
“Yea I’ve been calling you for weeks now.”
“Did you need something?”
There was a pause on his side and I figured it was because of the way I was acting. I didn’t want to feel anything for him and it was easier to push him away. Or try anyways.
“Yea I want to see you. We have unfinished business.”
“I have a lot going on, maybe sometime next week?”
“Now.”
Man he was demanding
and the tone left me no assumptions of his seriousness. “How about Sunday?”
“How about now? Where are you?”
“I’m out of town right now.”
“Liar. I saw your car come through earlier.”
“I’m at home Billy, about to go out.”
“Address?”
“I’m not giving you the address.” Fuck, I was going to if he asked.
There was a silence on the other side and I waited for his command. The very idea made me want to hang up, but I was waiting for something.
“If I don’t see you tonight I might explode.”
The answer was so simple, as the question had been. I gave him what he wanted. I knew I was going to cave in.
“Be right there.”
Chapter 8
I didn’t know how long he would be, but I knew that I was not ready for a visitor. I had driven home in yoga pants and a T shirt. It definitely wasn’t what I wanted him to see me in, so I went to the back of the apartment to change and maybe jump in the shower. I was already preparing for what was to come.
I decided on a shower after the drive. It had been a long day and a long drive back to campus. I didn’t feel sexy, I felt a mess. Facing Billy in this way did not suit me. I made it quick, not sure what time he would be there. I was turning off the water and wrapping a towel around me when I heard a loud knock at the door. Of course. “Just a minute!”
He knocked harder and I cursed at the closed door. Why was that man so impatient?
Moving towards the door, I tightened my grip on the towel. I opened the door while I held the towel in place with the other and then moved to let him in. “Just give me a second to get dressed. I will be right out.”