The Man She Married

by Cathy Lamb

  The thought of another woman with her husband, that slut, that tramp, made Mrs. Horleson pause long enough for Chief Knight and her loving husband to snatch the gun away from her and put her in the back of a police car to cool her jets. She continued to swear colorfully at Jeffy from inside the car. The chief and one of his deputies arrested Jeffy Lawson.

  It was the talk of the town!

  So if Laina was only sixteen and couldn’t get married, then Justine, at seven, couldn’t either. “I think you’re too young to be a wife.”

  “I don’t mean I’m going to marry him now, Natalie,” Justine said. “Here, you jump. I’m tired.”

  I went to the center and she and Chick whirled the ropes, and I jumped and jumped, fast as I could. I had to throw off my reindeer antlers. “When are you going to marry him?” I figured it wouldn’t be until we were at least seventeen. Laina had been sixteen and Mrs. Horleson almost sent Jeffy’s head straight into Idaho!

  “I’m going to marry him the day after I graduate from high school. Or maybe sooner.”

  “Does Jed know?” I asked. “Here, Chick. You jump now.” Chick jumped in the middle as Justine and I whirled the ropes.

  “I’m going to tell him today what we’re going to do.”

  We didn’t know why that day was special enough to announce love—it was December. A little cold. Some wind. Christmas trees up . . . but okay!

  “You can come with me,” she said.

  It was a generous offer.

  “Okeydoke,” Chick said, puffing, her red hair flying under the reindeer antlers.

  “I bet he’ll say yes,” I said. I thought it was polite to be encouraging.

  “Yep,” Justine said, still whirling both ropes as Chick jumped and then fell on her rear. “My turn again!”

  Chick and I went with Justine after school to the high school’s basketball gym where Jed was practicing. He constantly played during the games because he made so many baskets. We sat in the bleachers with our reindeer antler hats on, then we grew bored so we drew pictures of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in our notebooks. My Rudolph looked as if he’d been hit in the head, his eyes crossed, his mouth drooping.

  “He’s done practicing,” Justine said, pointing at Jed. He waved to the three of us, and we scrambled off the bleachers, pulling our backpacks onto our backs.

  We all headed out together. Jed’s teammates called out to him, said good-bye, slapped him on the back, said they’d see him later, and could he help with their math homework, and did you understand chemistry today, and hey, you want to hang out this weekend, Jed? He was a popular guy.

  Jed never seemed embarrassed to have us bopping around. He was always kind to everyone, polite, quiet, confident . . . and somewhat shy, which was endearing.

  We skipped around Jed as we headed home down the main street of town, snow sprinkling, our reindeer hats falling off now and then. Justine, Chick, and I showed him our Rudolph pictures. He praised my antlers for being “pink-and-white striped” and Chick’s drawing for a “perfect red rose for the nose” and Justine’s reindeer for having “nice straight teeth.”

  She said, “I drew it for you, Jed.”

  “Thank you, Justine. I’ll put it up in my room.”

  She grinned. She was missing two teeth. “You’re welcome. See how he’s wearing your blue shirt?”

  He did! She handed Rudolph to him with ceremony.

  We walked past the library, police station, café, and bakery. When we reached the lake near Jed and Chick’s house, Justine saw her moment. She stood up tall, squished her antlers down tight on her head, and said, “Jed, you and I are going to get married.”

  Jed smiled at Justine. “We are?”

  “Yes.” Justine was sure of this. “I think when I graduate from high school. Or maybe when I’m sixteen.”

  “I would be twenty-three then, Justine.”

  “Yep!” Justine said. “I know math. So will you?”

  “Will I what?”

  “Marry me?”

  The three of us with our reindeer hats tilted our heads back to stare up at him, Jed being a tall and lanky sort of kid.

  “Justine, I appreciate your offer.” His tone was gentle. Protective. “You are smart and brave, but you are way too young for me and I won’t be getting married for a long time.”

  Justine actually stomped her foot. “What are you talking about?”

  “Justine, you are seven and I am fourteen.”

  “Seven years. I already told you I know math.” Her face was flushed. This proposal wasn’t going well.

  “And we’re too young to be thinking about getting married.”

  “No, we’re not. What do you know?” Justine had a temper. Being the oldest of a bunch of kids born in a kiddie pool in the living room would wear anyone out.

  “I know that you are a special friend to Chick and to Natalie.”

  “And I’m a special friend to you and I gave you my Rudolph the Reindeer picture!”

  He smiled. “And you’re a friend to me, too.”

  “So we’re going to get married.” She crossed her arms and stuck out her chin. She was so mad. “Aren’t we?”

  I saw Jed hesitate. I wasn’t sure of all the dynamics here, but I had seen Snow White and Cinderella, and asking someone to marry you didn’t go exactly like this.

  “Justine.” He kneeled down so he was eye to eye with her. “I can’t marry you.”

  “Yes, you can, you stupid head.”

  He almost laughed, I could tell, but he stopped himself.

  “I’m going to marry you and you’re making me mad. I’m very, very mad at you!” She pointed at him with both hands.

  “I don’t want to make you mad.”

  “You have. You don’t know anything.” She capped off this pronouncement by moving with lightning speed and smashing her foot over Jed’s.

  He let her stomp him the first time, then he moved his foot at her second stomp, then moved it again when she tried to stomp him a third time.

  “You say yes, Jed Thornton, you brat!”

  “I’m sorry, Justine. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  Tears flooded those golden eyes, and Justine threw her reindeer antlers at him. For the finale, she kicked him in the shin and ran off.

  “Wow,” Chick said. “You shouldn’t have done that, Jed. I’m telling Mom. You made Justine cry.”

  “Maybe you’ll change your mind,” I said to Jed. “Justine knows how to climb trees really high, and she also knows how to take care of babies because her mom keeps having them in their pool in the living room. The pool doesn’t have a slide.”

  He blinked at me, and I could tell he almost laughed, yet again, but didn’t.

  “She is fast at climbing trees and she’s nice to her brothers and sisters,” Jed agreed. He bent down and rubbed his shin. Justine had a strong kick!

  “I think you should say sorry to her, Jed,” Chick said. “She asked nicely. Well.” Her brow furrowed. “Pretty nice.”

  “Yes, you should say sorry,” I said in all seriousness. “She did give you her Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer picture.”

  * * *

  Justine was way too young for Jed for years. Then that one event happened to Justine that ruined her for a long time. In her twenties, she saw Jed, but only now and then, mostly when all the families—mine, Jed and Chick’s, and Justine’s—were together for holidays or weddings.

  It hurt her, but she did it because she couldn’t stay away from him. She was too screwed up and scared that if he found out what she did, he would lose all respect for her. He would think she was “a sick, awful, cold person.”

  From the time Justine graduated from college, which was the only time that Jed would have even thought of dating her, being seven years older, their timing was off.

  Jed had a serious relationship with another attorney for years. Justine gave up on ever being together with Jed at that point and had the Ridiculously Stupid Disastrous Sucky Marriage for fou
r years, then a fireworks divorce, handled by our friend, Cherie Poitras, that lasted almost two years because Marco, The Needle Penis Husband, didn’t want a divorce, so he tried to ruin her financially.

  When that was over and Justine had her head on straight, Jed was in another relationship, then Justine met Xavier, a proctologist, and convinced herself she loved him for a year. She broke up with him one month after they became engaged when she finally faced the fact that she could not marry anyone but Jed and this wasn’t fair to the fiancé.

  Xavier flipped out, stalked her, and she had to get a restraining order. We had to bar him from the building where our accounting firm is located.

  Justine has always loved Jed, and I do think she always will.

  Both of them are single now and have been for a while.

  As for Jed, he always asks me how Justine is when I see him. Behind the mind of a successful prosecuting attorney, he is shy. He is still the Jed we knew as kids.

  * * *

  “Zack!” I stood up from the card game Go Fish I was playing with Soldier, Frog Lady, and Architect in the activities room. It’s about all we can handle. We still goof it up by not handing over kings or sixes or fours. We’re not trying to cheat, but sometimes things blur.

  Frog Lady said, “He is hot,” and Soldier said, “Ask him if he knows where I put my green yarn. He looks like someone who would know,” and Architect said, “I wonder if he lives in a building I built.” He frowned, then his face turned sad. “I don’t think he likes me.”

  I hurried over to give Zack a hug.

  “Hey, baby.” Zack smiled at me, gave me a kiss on the lips, and hugged me close. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine.” And I was, because he was with me. We sat down on my bed in my room, away from the others. He helped me sit down. I still wobble. Head injuries aren’t helpful to balance.

  “What did you do today?”

  “Therapy. More therapy.” I was glad I’d worn my Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and my black jeans. Jimi made me feel rockin’. As much as I can rock at this point, at least.

  “I think it’s helping, honey.”

  “I do, too. Torture chamber sometimes, though.” Every day the therapists pushed me to do what I couldn’t do, but tried, the day before. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can’t. Sometimes it truly ticks me off and I rage, sometimes I get so frustrated I cry, and sometimes I have a tiny victory.

  “I miss you, baby.” Zack kissed me. We do have to restrain ourselves in here, which is unfortunate. I would not want to be straddling Zack when a doctor walked in.

  “I miss you, too.”

  “Aw, honey. Don’t cry.”

  “I can’t help it. I almost fell in physical therapy today. José caught me.”

  “I’m sorry, Natalie.”

  I could tell by those green eyes, shattered, tired, that he was. He was truly sorry.

  I smiled. He smiled back. Whew. That man is hot, like Frog Lady said.

  “I want to wear my lingerie for you again.”

  “I can’t wait until you do, honey. You and your lingerie haunt me more than you’ll ever know.”

  “Look what I made you.” I took off the necklace I was wearing. It was made of leather string and in the center was a simple silver circle with two tiny silver beads on each side. “The circle reminded me of the moon over the Deschutes River.”

  That man! He teared up, pulled away, those green eyes growing even brighter. He dropped his head.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He was upset. He didn’t answer.

  “Zack?” I ran my hand over that bent head.

  He put his head up and I saw it then: Anguish. Total anguish.

  “Zack, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Natalie,” he said, his voice gruff, “if you are all right, everything in life is all right.”

  “Tell me, Zack, please. I want to know. I was in a hit-and-run. Someone cut up a Barbie and put my initials on it. You’re upset. You take phone calls and you’re mad. . . .”

  “Nothing you need to worry about, honey. I’m having some problems with the business. I think an ex-employee brought the Barbie in, but everything is going to be okay.”

  “What are the problems? Who was the employee?”

  “We’re figuring it out.”

  “With the police?”

  “Yes. They’re on it. Hey. I love this. I’ll wear it every day.”

  “You’re not going to tell me what you know?”

  “Natalie, you have enough to worry about. Let me handle it.”

  “But—”

  “Baby, please.”

  I didn’t want tension with Zack. He is delicious and kind and has been there for me every single day during this whole disaster. There was nothing I could do in here anyhow, and even if there was, I can’t handle it. I can barely handle myself and my skittery brain. I felt that familiar rush of extreme fatigue. The only way to describe it is to say that it’s the worst jet lag you’ve ever experienced. My brain caves in and must sleep.

  “Okay, Zack.” I kissed him, gave him a hug, and he hugged me back, so tight.

  The tightness of that hug worried me even more. It was as if he was afraid to let go of me.

  * * *

  My dad comes to visit every weekend. We talk and laugh. He continues to read Jane Eyre to me, and he catches me up on his animals and the townspeople. Afterward, almost every time, someone will say something along the lines of, “That’s your father? Looks like a movie star . . . was he in a band . . . Is he . . . single?”

  I do not see a movie star, I see: Dad.

  He had even brushed his hair this last time.

  * * *

  As I was going to sleep that night, stuck in that halfway place between being awake and asleep, a vision shoved its way through. It was me, and Zack, in our house. I was running from him, to my car. He was yelling at me to wait, wait, wait. I jumped in my car and drove and he followed me, fast . . . then the vision ended, and I was wide awake in my hospital bed.

  I wish I could remember the morning of my accident. There were answers there, I knew it. Zack was lying when he’d said it was a normal morning. There was nothing normal about it.

  I put a hand on my forehead. I think I might be getting better.

  Chapter 10

  I received a box in the mail. Stelly, a CNA, brought it to me. It was wrapped in brown paper. There was no return address. “Here ya go, Mrs. Shelton. A present for you.” She smiled. I liked her. She plays trumpet in a jazz band.

  “Thanks, Stelly.” I opened it up in the activities room where I was making necklaces. Frog Lady was rolling clay around in her hands and humming; Architect was drawing architectural prints of a building, complete with blue dogs and smiling blue whales around the edges; and Soldier was drawing a picture for his grandma of a destroyed city with sand everywhere and one man on top of a building shooting other people in the streets. He called it Peter Pan and Wendy.

  “Jewelry Maker has a present,” Frog Lady said. “It could be a frog.”

  “Are you going to cry today?” Soldier asked me, curious only.

  “I don’t know. I could.”

  “Okay. Yes, ma’am.” He went back to his drawing, then nodded at my present. “If that’s an MRE, I’m not eating it. I’ve had enough of those.”

  “When is crying session?” Frog Lady asked. “I think I’ll do it today. Hop goes my frog. There are millions of genus and species, dead and alive. You have to explore the whole earth to find the ones who are hiding.”

  “Is there steel in that box?” Architect asked. “I need steel for the structure of this building. We can buy it from the Chinese, but I’d rather get American-made steel.”

  “I don’t know. I’ll check.” I pulled off the tape. It took a long time. My fingers couldn’t do it. It was frustrating. I finally used scissors. I pulled back the top of the box. There were newspaper pages on top, the comics section, so I lifted them out.

  Soldier, Frog Lady,
and Architect stood up and peered into the box with me.

  There was a dead bird inside.

  I sucked in my breath. The dead bird had no head.

  Soldier started whimpering. “It’s dead. It’s dead. I didn’t kill it. I never wanted to kill anyone in that sandy place.” He ran to a corner, leaned his helmeted head against the wall, and started to cry, rocking back and forth. “I didn’t want to! I didn’t want to do it!”

  Architect said, “That dead bird with no head is upsetting. I like animals.” He turned around and ripped up his building plans, I don’t know why.

  “That is not a nice friend who sends you a dead bird,” Frog Lady said, her hands shaking around a frog. “You need new friends. I would not send you a dead frog.” She burst into tears. “All animals are precious and must be saved.”

  I heard a scream and then I realized it was me. People started running toward me, doctors and nurses.

  One doctor said, “Oh, my God.”

  A nurse said to someone else, “Get Shea Zogg in Security and tell her what happened to Natalie. Tell her to call the police.”

  Another nurse ran to be with Soldier, who was now knocking his helmeted head repeatedly against the wall. “I had to do it or he was going to kill me. I had to! He had a knife. A knife! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

  Architect patted me on the back, then gave me a hug, his helmet hitting my head. “I don’t build cemeteries, Jewelry Maker, or I would bury that bird for you.”

  My hands started to shake. I would not be making any more necklaces that day.

  * * *

  I had a guard reassigned to me in ten minutes.

  * * *

  Security came immediately, led by Shea Zogg. The police came soon after, including Detective Zadora. Zack came right after the detective arrived. Detective Zadora had one of her officers talk to Zack and lead him away. He was not allowed to talk to me.

  A nurse had already removed the headless bird and given it to Security.

  Once again my reality stunned me: I was being targeted. I was hit by a van. The driver drove off. I had a stabbed Barbie with her head on backward dropped in my hospital room, and now a headless bird had been delivered to me. It was so sick, so twisted, a demented message sent and received.