Question Mark

by Culpepper, S. E.

  Christian made a quick call to see if he could still crash on that co-worker/friend’s couch when he got home. He found out he could, though the guy was quick about getting off the line. Good thing Christian had another apartment lined up already even if the move-in date was a week from now.

  Staring at his phone, he debated calling Mark again. He could leave his thirtieth message. Maybe he’d sing on this one just to irritate him. You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling would be perfect. Christian was about to do it because the idea cracked him up so much, but then he pictured Zane accidentally hearing the message through some terrible set of circumstances and the idea ceased to be funny. In spite of his “devil-may-care” persona, Christian wished Mark happiness and he hoped to one day talk to him again, so it was best not to tempt fate.

  He didn’t know what made him take out that number still folded up in his wallet. As usual, he pressed the napkin to his lips, a habit that Kat had witnessed, to his utter embarrassment, but he was unable to stop. Now, it was as if going through this ritual enough would give him another chance to do things over. He might not like dealing with repercussions in his life, but in a way, Christian did this as penance. He used to spend a lot of time wondering if Kevin ever thought of him. Was he disappointed that Christian never called? Was his number the same? Doubtful.

  Kevin… You were…

  The number on the napkin blurred and Christian let out a hoarse breath. Now was not the time to be weak! Even as he thought that, he was punching in those digits on his phone—for the first time ever in five years.

  He told himself he’d hang up or pretend he had the wrong number if anyone answered. Christian just needed to see…

  The phone rang straight to voicemail and Christian’s heart leapt into his throat as that voice—the same voice from that night in Cabo—sounded on the line. Deep. Rough.

  “Hey, this is Kevin McGuire. If you’re calling me, you probably don’t know I’m out of the country and my sister’s keeping my phone for me. Your best bet is to shoot me an email. Don’t count on me getting back to you right away, Afghanistan keeps a guy busy. Leave a message if you want, though…Bye.”

  Christian held his breath and hung up without saying a word. He dialed again and listened to Kevin’s voice. He sounded older. Tougher.

  Afghanistan… Holy Crap. And Dammit. And Fuck. How had he not figured out Kevin was military? The hair cut and the way he carried himself were big enough clues. It scared the hell out of Christian, but was it surprising? Nah. Okay—yes, it was.

  Not that he should waste his time being worried about Kevin. Five years of silence from Christian’s camp was a pretty strong statement about where someone fell on his priority list. He was probably the last person Kevin wanted to hear from. Who knew how much his life had changed.

  Is he with someone? Christian wondered. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed, but Kevin was probably hard-core military, Christian didn’t know what branch, so maybe that political crap didn’t matter. He could be one of those career closeted guys that decide it’s best to float under the radar. Maybe that meant Kevin could only get with a guy like Christian every once in a while, like on vacation in Cabo…

  He dialed the number and listened to the message again, alternately wishing Kevin provided his email address and being thankful he hadn’t. Christian had enough temptation to deal with now that he’d crossed his own line and called the number.

  “Hey, this is Kevin McGuire…”

  “Don’t count on me getting back to you…”

  Christian didn’t keep track of how many times he punched send to listen to that voice, but not once did he leave a message. He’d need bigger balls to do something like that.

  ***

  When Mark made arrangements to fly to England, he wasn’t sure Zane would see him, so he kept his plans on the short side. His thought process was that if Zane gave him the boot, then he didn’t want to wallow around in a foreign country, lost and alone—he’d much rather be pathetic on his home soil. So Mark decided on only two, three days max before he’d be hopping a plane back to the States. Say that Zane did forgive him, Mark still needed to fix his life back home. Famous boyfriend or not, he wanted to make his own way. Mark was not a gold-digger. Plus, with his parents lending him the full ticket price for the flight, he wanted them to see he was actively looking for a way to pay them back.

  That all seemed to be a good plan when he’d left Albuquerque. Then, a butterfly in China flapped it’s wings and a tropical storm hit the east coast. That delayed his flights for a day and a half. Mark called the airline and adjusted his trip that additional day, but now that he and Zane were finally getting back on track, Mark had to leave the day after tomorrow, early in the morning. And he hadn’t brought any of that up to Zane yet. So, while Mark was happy to be anywhere near Zane and support him on set, he preferred to be alone with him.

  He met Bill Austen, a super great guy and damn handsome at that. He watched the last bit of filming for Zane, ate lunch and dinner standing around the table that Craft Services set up, rubbing elbows with actors and crew, and finally he was back in the trailer waiting while Zane showered off layers of makeup and gobs of hair grease.

  “I talked to Reid and Sean today,” Mark admitted when Zane came out of the shower in a pair of black boxer briefs that made Mark’s eyes want to roll back in his head.

  Zane’s head popped up as he tugged on his jeans. “Yeah? How are they doing?”

  Mark decided it was best to stare at his hands to keep from attacking Zane and removing him from his clothing. “I think they’ve finally forgiven me for being an idiot. Reid’s actually been pretty hard on me, which is usually left to Sean. They’re concerned about you.”

  “Are you serious?” Zane sounded so disbelieving that Mark had to look at him.

  “Of course. They like you a lot. They think I’m a disaster.”

  Zane made another odd noise as he put on his shirt and went for his socks and shoes. “They both threatened me when I was out there in Bakersfield.”

  “Seriously?” Mark peeked at him through his fingers. “I guess I was the one they really should have threatened.”

  Zane tossed his shoe on the floor and crossed the space between them to kneel in front of Mark. “I think we can both agree that this week has sucked mightily, but here’s what we also agree on: we want to be with one another. You made a mistake. I’ve made them, too and it’s probably best that we don’t dwell on them. It’s just you and me in this relationship. Not my friends and us…not your family and us—as much as I love them, and not the public and us.”

  “But—”

  “You don’t feel like you’ve done enough to make up for it, right? How very like you…” Zane gave him a crooked smile when Mark nodded. “I can’t spend time punishing you. I’ve been by your side less than I even like to think about. I cannot stand the idea of being here with you where I can finally see your face and touch your skin,” he gently ran a finger along Mark’s jaw, “and spend the time angry with you.”

  Zane moved in a little closer, his body announcing his intentions, but he stopped just as quickly and met Mark’s eyes again. “I-I’m sorry I was so rough with you. Last night. I never thought I’d…”

  Mark shook his head and closed the distance between them, his lips urging Zane to open for him. He did and the taste and blend of their mouths together sent a shudder over Mark’s body. Zane fell into him, his hands sliding over Mark’s neck and into his hair before finally latching behind him and pulling him closer.

  Mark had to spread his legs wide to make room for Zane’s body, but he wrapped them around Zane, locking him in as his hands slid over that angel skin. Mark dove into the kiss, his tongue meeting and thrusting, his teeth gently nipping at the tender flesh of Zane’s lips.

  They were breathing hard already and Mark’s groin was screaming, Let me at him! Let me at him! where it was snugged up against Zane’s abs.

  Mark tilted his head until his lips left a
hot trail along Zane’s jaw to his ear where he breathed, “I want to make love to you…”

  “God yes…please…” Zane answered, tasting Mark’s earlobe and nuzzling at his neck. “Only—”

  “At the hotel?”

  Zane nodded against him and found his mouth again. They both wanted to be back in that bed together, discovering one another’s bodies as sheets twined around them. They wanted a new first time, absent of rage and suspicion.

  Mark didn’t release Zane for another long moment. When he did, Zane slowly moved away, an almost shy smile on his face and a blush tingeing his skin. He finished dressing and when Mark held out his coat like he had that morning, Zane tugged him close again looking like he had a hundred things to say but couldn’t.

  “Let’s go,” Mark winked, taking his hand to lead him from the trailer.

  Not many people were around so they decided to brave the trip to the hotel and through the waiting media circus on their own. Mark, for once, wanted the photographers to get a fucking eyeful. The same driver took them back and the two of them stayed close, Zane’s hand on Mark’s knee, massaging and promising with each little movement.

  At the hotel, the throng was even thicker and Mark let Zane take the lead. It was sort of like football: just charge forward and get them the hell out of the way. The photographers were yelling again, the more aggressive ones jumping in front of them and getting such close shots that Mark was pretty sure one guy would be unhappy to discover a close-up of nose hair.

  Without the bodyguards, it was definitely harder to push through the crowd, but they made it inside where Zane squeezed his hand and made a beeline for the elevator. They didn’t look at one another on the ride up. Instead, they watched the numbers above the door count up, each floor making Mark’s heart race faster.

  ***

  They didn’t dive right into it the second they crossed the threshold of the hotel room. Zane set his things aside, noticing his laundry had been washed and returned and the drywall mess cleared. Mark made a quick trip to the bathroom and came back out minus his sweater, carrying his shoes in one hand.

  Zane bit his lip in anticipation as he turned off his cell phone and tossed it on the coffee table. His boots were next, then the coat. After that, Zane was too stirred up to go through the motions. Mark was leaning back against the wall, hands in his pockets and that same half-amused smile on his face that Zane had first seen on that shuttle boat. It made him light headed.

  “What?” Mark murmured.

  Zane shook his head and took a couple casual steps closer to him. “You…” He let his fingers trail along the back of an armchair as he gave him a sideways glance.

  “What about me?”

  A soft chuckle. “You know exactly what you’re doing over there. What gets to me.”

  Mark was watching his every move with hooded eyes, the sensual grace in his body lines made more prominent by his stillness. Zane was half a room away now and it took a good deal of willpower to stop where he was, one hand propped on the elegant mini-bar.

  “What’s this?” Mark flicked his head Zane’s direction. “Not coming any closer?”

  Let him come to you, his mind whispered. Let him come and get it.

  Zane didn’t say anything, moving his body so now his hip was against the bar, bearing his weight. He crossed his arms and waited.

  Mark didn’t keep him long. He pushed off the wall and stalked toward him, his shoulders and body liquid as he moved. Trapping Zane in with an arm on either side of him, he let his lips run once against Zane’s, a breath of a caress.

  “I think we both know who’s in charge here,” he licked at Zane’s lip, “so tell me what to do.”

  Zane looked at that supple mouth, the rosy pink of Mark’s lips. “Kiss me.”

  Mark complied and Zane moaned as he opened for him. He thought the kisses in the trailer were hot, but this stoked a fire in his blood. The pain and hurt from the night before were absent and all he felt was passion and need. His reaction to this man pressing against him was a roaring in his ears.

  Mark said his name, a delicate breath against his mouth, then delved in again until Zane was owned by him.

  With firm hands, Zane lifted Mark’s shirt, roaming the tight muscles of his stomach and exploring the soft friction of chest hair. The shirt disappeared and the first Zane saw of Mark’s body was that creamy skin over flexed traps and shoulders. He lowered his mouth and tasted him, biting a little and grinning as Mark shivered against him.

  Mark helped Zane out of his own shirt and paused as his fingertips hovered over Zane’s chest, skimmed past his nipples, and teased over his abs. He reached out with both hands and grabbed Zane’s hips just above the waistline of his low-rise jeans. The gentle movement of thumbs against his flesh was like a pulse all the way down to his toes. Zane’s eyes closed as he touched his forehead to Mark’s.

  Their lips weren’t parted long and both of their pants were undone and off before Zane pushed Mark backwards with his body toward the bed.

  “Touch me…” Mark moaned against his neck, his tongue flicking out for a quick taste.

  Zane lifted Mark with one strong arm beneath his ass and lowered him to the bed, their chests always touching as he straddled him. “Yes,” he said back.

  Running hungry hands down over Mark’s chest, he didn’t hesitate to touch him through the fabric of his briefs. He shaped his hand to the throbbing contours of Mark’s shaft, cupped his balls and massaged lower, so turned on watching his man arch into him.

  Mark’s chest rose and fell as his breaths quickened. His feet searched for purchase to bring his body up and closer to Zane. In one quick move, Zane reached beneath Mark and pulled the last bit of cloth separating them down. The waistband caught on the head and the sensation must have hit the right spot as Mark groaned and kicked his hips up again.

  Zane freed him almost reverently, watching each inch of him revealed with burning eyes. He threw the briefs aside and with one hand guiding Mark at his lower back, he stroked the swollen shaft in front of him as Mark jacked up again.

  Mark’s head snapped back as he cried out again. “Zane…f—ugh!” The words were torn away from him, lost as Mark used his own thrusts to move in Zane’s hand. Rising over him, Zane stroked twice more before running his hands up Mark’s body and then letting his own weight fall against Mark.

  Mark got busy tugging down Zane’s briefs as he opened his mouth for another soul-searing kiss and the next moment they were blessedly naked against one another. Skin on skin. Chest to chest. Thigh to thigh.

  Mark twined his legs over Zane and their kiss became almost frantic as they rocked against each other. Zane’s dick pulsed and he knew it wouldn’t take much more for him to come. He was out of control as his tongue dueled with Mark’s. His flesh was on fire with the heat between them.

  “Zane…” Mark grunted.

  He knew what Mark needed and he cursed himself, remembering he didn’t have anything with him. “I don’t have—”

  Mark kissed him to silence and pointed at his bag. Zane had it in seconds and nearly destroyed the thing as he rifled through it to get what he wanted. He tore through the condom wrapper with his teeth and shivered as Mark took it from him and lowered it down over Zane’s hard, glinting erection. When Mark went to grab one for himself Zane pushed his hand away and took his mouth in such a fierce kiss he nearly came.

  By the time their mouths parted again, Mark was writhing with desire, his jaw clenched against it. When Zane finally lowered himself over Mark, he was shaking and breathing impossibly hard. Their sweat mingled as Zane took him and with slow, steady thrusts brought them both to the point of oblivion.

  When Mark came, his orgasm rocked them and in the final moments before Zane followed, he grabbed Mark’s jaw and stared into his eyes. “Mine…forever…” Mark turned his head and sucked Zane’s thumb into his mouth with a breathless moan.

  The orgasm washed over Zane and he roared as he thrust through it. There were
tears in his eyes as the delicate ties between them went taut.

  Zane pinched his eyes shut and collapsed against Mark, rolling over and bringing his man with him. Mark held on so tightly there wasn’t any room left between them. It was as though Mark was in his bloodstream now and it was the first time Zane had ever been whole.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “You brought condoms?” Zane turned his head on the pillow he was sharing with Mark and cocked an eyebrow.

  Mark chuckled and ran his hands up into his hair, shaking the short strands out until they were adorably puffy. “Hope springs eternal, I guess.”

  “No doubt.” He rolled toward Mark and gathered him closer with an arm over his chest. “I like the way you think.”

  “Yeah,” Mark smirked at him. “Sometimes you do.”

  They locked gazes and soaked in one another’s presence, the quiet of the room surrounding them, making Zane feel like they were alone in the world. His eyes roved over Mark’s face, memorizing the contours. With his fingers, Zane traced along the bridge of Mark’s nose and down over his lips to press lightly on their pillowy surface. Zane lifted his head and laid his mouth on Mark’s for another taste. After a heady moment when their breathing picked up again, Zane pushed up, letting his weight rest on one elbow. Mark watched him silently.

  Zane kissed him again as his hand snaked beneath the covers to run softly over Mark’s hip. “Hey…”

  Mark cocked his head, waiting.

  “I love you, Mark,” he whispered, never taking his eyes away.

  Zane didn’t know what he expected Mark to do, but as his eyes filled and he wrapped his arms around Zane’s neck, his surprise was complete. The raw strength in that grip and the disbelieving light in Mark’s stare brought Zane’s emotions to the surface as well. His throat tightened and he couldn’t speak.