by Cindy Kirk
Granny was just leaving for a card party with her friends when July got back from Yellowstone on Friday. It had been a frustrating, nonproductive day. The last thing she wanted was to participate in a young mother’s book club. But when Mary Karen had heard about July’s plans to get together with Lexi, she’d come up with another idea. She’d suggested the three of them form their own book club and include Kayla Simpson, a new mom with a child born with a congenital heart defect.
They planned to meet monthly and the first meeting was tonight. July saw no need to mention that by the time the next meeting rolled around she’d be gone.
She pushed open the door and stepped inside wondering when David would be stopping by. Last night Mary Karen had told her he’d agreed to take his nephews for the evening.
Her heart picked up speed. She hadn’t seen David all week. She glanced down at her jeans and long-sleeved shirt. Perhaps if she hurried, she’d have time to freshen up before he arrived.
July made her way through the house and found Mary Karen in the kitchen with a big stack of paper plates in each hand. Her face brightened when she saw July.
“Perfect timing. Which do you prefer?” Mary Karen raised her right hand. “Fuchsia?” She lifted the other. “Or blue-and-yellow striped?”
July didn’t have to think. “Fuchsia.”
Mary Karen nodded her agreement. “That’s my favorite, too.”
July’s gaze dropped to the infant seat where Adam slept peacefully. “Wow, he’s sure zonked out.”
“Blame it on the twins. They played with him all afternoon.” Mary Karen smiled. “You should have a few minutes before he wakes up. If you help me set the table before everyone gets here, I’ll take care of the drinks.”
July pulled her brows together and took the plates from Mary Karen’s right hand. “I thought Lexi and Kayla weren’t coming until seven.”
“They aren’t.” Mary Karen turned and opened the refrigerator, her words muffled as she stuck her head inside. “I invited David and Travis for pizza at five-thirty. I figured if they were watching the boys for me, I should at least feed them.”
Mary Karen pulled out a jug of milk. “Actually, we’re only providing the drinks. When I mentioned I’d run across this fabulous recipe for a cajun tofu and roasted red pepper pizza, Travis insisted the men supply pizza.” Her lips curved up in a smile and she chuckled. “The man has no sense of adventure.”
July wondered if Mary Karen realized how often she smiled when speaking of Travis. Adam started to fuss but she finished putting down the plates. Then she walked over to the infant seat. She took a deep breath and stared into his tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry Mommy made you wait.”
He stared at her for a moment then smiled, his arms waving in the air. July exhaled the breath she’d been holding. That hadn’t been too hard.
Earlier in the week she’d apologized to his rattle when she’d dropped it on the floor. Flushed by that success she’d moved on to Henry, the cockapoo. Yesterday she’d bumped into the dog in the hall. He’d licked her hand when she told him she was sorry.
She picked Adam up and cuddled him against her breast. He immediately began to root. July dropped into the nearest chair and unbuttoned her shirt, experiencing a surge of triumph. In seconds Adam was nursing contentedly. What a difference a few weeks made, she thought to herself. When she’d first brought Adam home she’d always gone into her room to feed him. But the atmosphere in the house was so comfortable and accepting, it seemed ridiculous to shut herself off from the others.
July gently stroked her son’s fine dark hair. “I didn’t know Dr. Fisher was into babysitting.”
It was a silly statement that she regretted the moment the words left her mouth. She barely knew the young doctor and certainly had no knowledge of his feelings toward children.
Mary Karen dropped ice into some of the glasses. “He’s just along for the ride. They’re planning on taking the boys to the movie theater downtown. Travis is like a big kid. He’s a sucker for those animated movies.”
“He’s also a good-looking guy,” July said, striving to keep her tone casual. “Don’t you agree?”
Mary Karen confiscated a package of plastic silverware from a drawer and began placing the utensils on the table. Her hair swung forward, hiding her expression. “A lot of women think so.”
“I didn’t ask about other women,” July said pointedly. “I asked if you think so.”
The young mother turned and leaned back on the counter. “What is it you really want to know?”
July smiled. “I’m trying to figure out if you’re interested in him romantically.”
Mary Karen’s eyes widened. She looked at July as if she’d lost her mind. Then she laughed. “I have three little boys under the age of five. Romance is not an option.”
“Sure it is. You’re young.” July wasn’t sure exactly how old Mary Karen was, but they’d graduated from high school the same year.
The smile faded from Mary Karen’s lips and the eyes that met July’s were suddenly serious. “I don’t feel young. I’ll turn twenty-six in August and I’m already dreading it.”
“Why?”
Mary Karen shrugged.
“C’mon, tell me,” July urged.
“Most women aren’t even married at this age. I’m already divorced.” Mary Karen dropped her eyes to the table as if she was about to admit a deep dark secret. “Despite everything my husband did, a part of me hoped he would come to his senses and realize what he was giving up.”
“Do you still love him?” July asked softly.
“A part of me will always love him. He’s the father of my boys.” A look of sadness swept across Mary Karen’s beautiful face. “But if you’re asking if I want him back, the answer is no. The man I loved and married would never have deserted his family.”
July wanted to find out more but the door in the foyer creaked open and the sound of deep masculine laughter wafted into the kitchen.
Alarmed, July glanced down at Adam, whose eyes were now closed. She gently unlatched him from her breast and had just pulled her shirt shut when David and Travis strolled into the kitchen.
David looked more as if he was going out on a date than taking three rambunctious boys to the movies. July felt a rush of arousal. His thick dark hair still held a hint of dampness, as if he’d just stepped from the shower and toweled off. She had no doubt that if she got close he’d smell as good as he looked.
Her heart flip-flopped when he shifted his attention to her. “Hello, David.”
“Hey, slacker,” he taunted. “Haven’t seen you at the Refuge lately.”
Okay, so she was a coward and he was calling her on it, in a very nice way of course. But she knew without a doubt that if she showed up at the Refuge they’d kiss again. And she wasn’t sure it would stop at that.
“I decided to check out another route.” She kept the response deliberately vague, not convinced running into him that morning had been mere coincidence.
“Good for you,” he spoke as if it didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen her in almost a week. His gaze shifted to his friend who was holding three large pizza boxes. “We tried to get tofu, Mary Karen, but they were all out.”
“Har, har.” Mary Karen took the boxes from Travis. “Hello, Trav. It’s been too long.”
“I agree,” he said, flashing a smile then launching into the relative merits of bean curd.
That led to David and Travis reminiscing about some long-ago dinner Mary Karen had made for them. One story led to another but somehow, despite the banter, the pizza and salad and drinks got on the table. The boys were strung tight, the twins vying for David and Travis’ attention.
“What’s up with the boys tonight?” July asked Mary Karen as they stood at the counter adding Cool Whip to chocolate pudding.
“They just get all geared up when guys are around,” Mary Karen said with a shrug.
“Travis seems nice,” July said. “He was more than agreeable when I
asked him to hold Adam.”
“He is nice. I’ve known Trav since high school.” Mary Karen dropped her voice even lower. “He was the first boy I ever kissed.”
“What are you two beautiful ladies whispering about?” Travis called from the table.
“We were talking about how good-looking you are,” Mary Karen said with a straight face.
“And about kissing,” July added. The second the words left her mouth she wished she could call them back. But that was impossible. All that was left was damage control.
Both men turned and suddenly she had their full attention.
David cocked his head. “What about kissing?”
“I love the way babies kiss,” July improvised.
Travis lifted a brow.
“You know,” July said, “with their mouths open.”
Travis laughed. “I like to kiss like that, too.” He jammed an elbow into David’s side. “How about you?”
David’s eyes locked on July and heat shot like wildfire through her body. How could anyone forget that night in the hotel room? The open-mouthed kisses he’d planted along her inner thigh. Higher and higher until…
“July, are you feeling okay?” Mary Karen’s concerned voice was like a splash of cold water. “Your cheeks are bright red.”
July slanted a quick sideways glance just in time to see the dimple in David’s left cheek flash.
“I’m fine.” Though July knew she was playing with fire she dipped her finger into the cup of pudding in front of her. With deliberate slowness she placed the finger in her mouth and let her tongue swirl around it. “Just a little hot.”
The fire in David’s eyes confirmed he recalled every detail of that night too. She’d told herself many times since that given the chance to do it all again, she’d never have gone up to his room. But she realized now she’d only been lying to herself.
Because right here, right now, with the incredible energy surging between them, July knew if she had it to do all over again, she wouldn’t hesitate. The way Dr. David Wahl made her feel defied logic.
That’s exactly why staying away from him was simply not an option.
Chapter Ten
At six-thirty the doorbell rang. Mary Karen dropped her piece of pizza and hurried to the front door.
July sat back in her chair. She carefully wiped her lips with a paper napkin, feeling full and very content.
“Don’t tell me you’re only going to eat one piece,” David teased. “We have another whole pizza that hasn’t been touched.”
“I don’t know what to tell you other than pizza for breakfast can be quite tasty.” July wondered if it was wrong to feel so relaxed. Though earlier in the week she’d had concerns about spending more time with David, dinner had been fun.
Travis had regaled them with high school pranks he and David had pulled. Mary Karen had chimed in with some memories of her own. July had been content to simply listen.
Voices sounded in the foyer. July had barely turned in her seat when Kayla and her husband John, with baby Emma in his arms, strolled into the room.
“I’m sorry,” Kayla said with an apologetic smile. “I told John tonight is a woman’s event.”
“I’m not staying,” John said. “But I saw David and Trav’s vehicles out front and thought I’d say hello.”
“Stay and have pizza,” David urged. “We’ve got plenty.”
John hesitated but Mary Karen was already pushing him toward a chair. “Sit down.”
Mary Karen had barely brought out extra plates when Lexi arrived with Addie in tow. She, too, was easily persuaded to enjoy some pizza.
July sipped her cola and marveled at how different this was from the parties her mother used to throw. Those events had always had an abundance of alcohol and drugs and kinky sex. When she knew about them ahead of time, she’d crash at a friend’s house. For the impromptu parties, she locked and barricaded her bedroom door.
There had never been parties like this…unless she counted the time she’d spent with the Kozac family. The older couple—at the time they must have been in their early fifties—hosted card parties the first Saturday of the month. The atmosphere at those events had been much like this—warm and inviting.
July resisted the urge to sigh. What would it have been like to grow up in such surroundings? To have that security? To be embraced by family and friends?
After downing a third piece of pizza, John glanced at his watch. “Looks like it’s time for Emma and me to hit the road.”
The patter of rain, which had began shortly after Lexi’s arrival, now beat against the roof.
“We should go, too,” David said, making no move to get up.
July didn’t blame him for being in no hurry. But she also knew Mary Karen wouldn’t allow a mere cloudburst to impact the first meeting of her book club.
“You guys can stay if you want,” Mary Karen said. “I thought we’d meet in the kitchen, which means you can have the living room. We’ve got lots of DVDs. Perhaps Addie, since she’s the oldest, could choose the movie.”
Addie’s pretty hazel eyes lit up. “Could I, Mommy?”
Lexi hesitated. “I know you guys didn’t plan on watching my daughter—”
“What’s one more?” David smiled. “In fact, we can take Adam, too. That way you ladies can talk uninterrupted.”
July was about to politely turn down the offer when she saw Lexi’s face. If she refused to let David watch Adam, Lexi wouldn’t allow him to watch Addie, either.
“Sure.” July rose and handed her son over to David. “Uh, thank you.”
David shot her a wink. “Uh, you’re welcome.”
“We’ll clean up in here.” Travis put a hand on Mary Karen’s arm. “You get ready for your book club.”
July glanced at David, rounding up the children, Adam asleep against his chest.
Yesterday or even earlier today, she’d have found the scene troubling, but tonight, for whatever reason, it felt…right.
David turned back for a second and their eyes locked.
“I’ll take good care of him,” he mouthed.
July smiled. Of that she had no doubt.
“That went quicker than I thought,” Mary Karen said as the last man left the kitchen and the four women took their places at the table.
“This arrangement works out great for me,” Kayla said. “Because of Emma’s cardiac problems, I know John will feel more comfortable with me in the next room.”
“How are the tube feedings going?” Lexi asked.
“Good,” Kayla said. “It looks like we’ll have to keep the tube in until she’s big and strong enough for her heart surgery. Right now she doesn’t have the energy to swallow.”
They talked for a couple minutes about Emma’s medical issues before Lexi spoke up.
“I like this arrangement, too,” she said. “I’d brought some stuff along for Addie to play with, but I’m sure she’s having more fun watching the movie and playing with the boys.”
July took a sip of the iced tea Mary Karen had set out and just smiled.
“I’m not sure how this club is supposed to work,” Kayla said. “But I enjoyed the one you picked, Mary Karen. The chapter that dealt with adoption really hit home for me.”
The book had been on July’s “to-do” list but the time just hadn’t been there. But from the back cover blurb and the inside of the dust jacket, the book appeared focused on successful parenting. It seemed odd that adoption would even be mentioned.
“I’m curious,” July said. “Why did you find the topic so relevant? Were you adopted?”
“No,” Kayla said. “But John and I struggled with infertility for years. We had our names in at a number of adoption agencies. Unfortunately there aren’t enough babies.”
Lexi nodded. “Too many mothers keep them for all the wrong reasons.”
July shifted uncomfortably in her seat and told herself she was keeping Adam for all the right reasons.
“What you’re
saying is they don’t look at what’s best for the child,” Mary Karen said. “They keep the baby because they can’t imagine their life without it or because of the welfare money.”
“I can so relate,” Kayla confessed. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table. “My mother was a single parent with no marketable job skills. She struggled to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.”
“That had to have been hard,” Mary Karen said.
“It was,” Kayla agreed. “And while I applaud her efforts, I grew up with this cloud of uncertainty over my head. One summer, we lived out of our car.”
“That uncertainty is hard on a child.” Normally July didn’t share specific details about her childhood, but she remembered Dr. Allman’s homework assignment. “I can relate to your story, Kayla. I spent a lot of my childhood in and out of foster care. All I wanted was a home. A real home. Not an apartment we had to leave every time my mom got behind on the rent. There was one family who wanted to adopt me. They could have given me that home.”
“Why didn’t they?” Mary Karen asked, her face soft with sympathy.
“My mother refused to relinquish me.”
“There are ways to terminate parental rights,” Lexi said, sounding very much like a social worker.
“I know there are.” July thought back to that time. “But the couple didn’t want me bad enough to fight the system. Eventually, I ended up back with my mother.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Mary Karen said, covering July’s hand with her own. Her gaze then shifted to encompass the other two women at the table. “We’ve all had our trials. But we’re here to support each other, to learn from each other and hopefully to be the best parent we can be.”
Even as July nodded and the talk returned to the book, she found herself thinking of Adam and his future. There was no doubt in her mind that life was going to be tough when they returned to Chicago.
If she was still working at the Sun Times with set hours, a regular paycheck and great benefits, she wouldn’t have to worry. Instead she was a freelancer with an unsteady job and no family for backup if she stumbled. What kind of life could she offer the little boy she loved so much? Was she being selfish to want to take him with her when he could have a wonderful life in Jackson with his dad? The kind of life she’d dreamed of as a child?