“I want you to see something,” I whispered against her lips as she kissed me.
“You’ve already shown me everything I need to see. I love it here, in this spot, particularly. Can’t we just stay here all night? Show me everything else tomorrow.”
It was tempting, I wouldn’t lie, but we both had work tomorrow and the morning would come with the rush of getting ready and out the door. I wanted her to see the room now, so she could fully understand the depth of my commitment. So she could take it all in, visually and emotionally, with time to experience everything it stood for.
“Come on.” I dragged my lips away from hers. “It’ll only take a minute and then we can heat up the food and come right back up here. Promise.”
“Ugh!” She groaned, toppling off of me and running her hands through her hair. “Fine! But let it be known, that’s the first time you’ve denied me. Not sure I like it, Goodwin.”
I scooped her up, kissing her cheek as I guided her off the bed. “It’ll never happen again. Cross my heart, but this is worth it. You’ll see.”
Eyeing me suspiciously, she relented. She slipped my wrinkled T-shirt over her head and waved her hand, gesturing for me to lead the way. “After you.”
“But you didn’t put any underwear on. I was hoping to admire that ass as you walked to your next surprise.”
She tilted her head and arched a brow.
“All right, all right. Follow me.”
The doors to the other rooms were open. Our bare feet padded against the hardwood as we passed the bathroom and the second bedroom. I peered over my shoulder to watch London as she peeked inside, visibly taking note of the minor changes that had taken place since she’d last been here.
When we approached the room at the end of the hallway, I stopped at the closed door, grasping the doorknob and turning to face London.
“Before I show you, I need to tell you something.”
“Sam,” she whined, rolling her eyes. “It was a beautiful office. I’m sure it’s still just as beautiful. What’s the big deal already?”
I cocked my head to the side and smiled, reaching out for her.
She laced her fingers with mine and we both paused, looking down at our connected hands.
My thumb rubbed the delicate skin of her wrist, tracing the bottom of her palm before bringing it up to my lips.
I was so in love with this woman, undeniably captivated by everything about her. I had been for a long time, but now I had the chance to spend the rest of my life making sure she knew. And the rest of my life started here, in this house, with endless possibilities.
Gazing into her honeyed eyes, I opened my heart to her once more. For it was hers, she possessed it fully, infinitely. “I know I’ve said this so many times that I probably sound like a broken record, but when I bought this house, I did so with us in mind. I knew it was presumptuous, but I fucking felt it, London. The minute we stepped foot inside of this place—together—I saw years of memories unfold right before my eyes. All of my dreams, all of our dreams, nestled in the corners and crevices of this perfect home that seemed as if it had been built just for us.”
An irrefutable flash of understanding flickered across her features. The reality of a future together had finally sunk in for her. It’s what I’d been praying for, an ember of hope. And that spark ignited a fire so fierce it exploded inside of me as I turned the doorknob to reveal what was inside.
“Oh, my God!” London’s hands shot up to cover her mouth, her eyes roaming around the room as she crossed the threshold and stepped inside. “Oh my God, Sam. Oh my God.”
I couldn’t tell if they were good Oh my Gods or if her shock was overwhelming. I shuffled closer to her, draping an arm around her shoulders.
“Talk to me.” I gulped, my voice almost cracking like a thirteen-year-old boy.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m just . . . I’m speechless.” Her hands were still at her face, now covering her cheeks. Her eyes were wide and curious, mouth agape.
“Why don’t we start with, do you like it?”
Her attention snapped to me in an instant, her hands falling to her sides as she spun out of my grasp. Tears threatened to tumble over the rims of her eyes, but she blinked them away, silently gazing at me again.
“Babe.” I reached forward and pulled her into my arms. I wrapped them around her tightly, rocking our bodies left to right. Kissing her hair, her temple, her wet cheek, I whispered in her ear, “Please talk to me. If it’s too much, I’ll have the decorator turn it back into an office first thing in the morning.”
“Too much?” She pushed off my chest and backed away an inch or two. She took a few steps, finally reaching out to pull a small stuffed rabbit off a white wicker bookshelf. It was one of hers. I’d asked Ella which was her favorite and snuck it out of her house a few nights ago. “How did you . . . I’ve had this since I was born. I couldn’t sleep without it for years.”
“I know.” I nodded, inching closer. “Your mother told me all about it. She said she used to have to pry it from your hands while you were sleeping so she could wash it. But she couldn’t remember when you stopped needing it and I don’t remember you bringing it around when we were kids.”
“That’s because once you and I became friends, I needed it less and less.” She brought the floppy bunny to her nose, sniffing its downy fur and hugging it against her chest as she closed her eyes. When she reopened them, she continued to clutch the plush toy close, but came up beside me and cupped her hand against my cheek. “Once I had you, I didn’t need anything else.”
The weight of those words made my heart lighter than it had ever felt before. I’d known how much my friendship meant to her. We were the best of friends. But knowing that the best was yet to come made my soul soar with immeasurable happiness. “Babe, you have no idea what that means to me.”
“Do you have any idea what all of this means to me?” Her outstretched arms waved in front of her, scanning the buttery walls, the bookshelf of trinkets from both of our childhoods, the rocking chair in the corner that once sat in my very own nursery, where my mother rocked me to sleep in her arms. “You asked me if I like it and I think that’s probably the stupidest question ever, because no, I don’t like it. I love it, Sam. It’s perfect. It’s everything I would have done had I designed it myself. It is the most incredible gesture of love anyone has ever given me.”
There was no hiding the relief as my head fell back with a hefty sigh. “Thank God.” I breathed out, eyes on the ceiling. “I was so nervous I went too far. I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.”
“Oh, I think you’re certifiable.” She giggled.
“Hey.”
“Certifiably perfect.” Her arms were bound around my neck now, the bunny floating behind us at it dangled from her grip. “My one complaint is that we didn’t get to do it together, but that’s okay because it’s exactly what I envisioned . . . for our baby.”
“Really?” I beamed.
“Really.” She nodded, biting her lip.
“You said our baby.” That phrase had my insides catapulting and somersaulting inside out—in a good way. She wanted my baby. London Monroe would one day be the mother of my child.
“I did.”
“Does that mean—”
“It means, one day, Sam,” she interrupted with a giggle. “It means that you were right. And while things are moving fast—much faster than I could’ve ever expected—I recognize how patient you’ve been. I understand now that it must’ve been agony to hold back for so long. Because when I’m with you now, there is not a single bone in my body that can hold back from anything. It’s like . . . it’s like you said . . . we were meant to be. Everything is happening just as it’s supposed to. I have zero doubts that this room—this beautiful, sweet, precious room—will one day be filled with our children’s tiny cries, stinky diapers, and so much love.”
“Is someone gonna wake me from this dream?” I asked, looking around the room franticall
y.
“You’re wide awake, Goodwin. Take it all in.” London grabbed my face and then brought her lips to mine.
We kissed for a long while, my hands eventually creeping up my T-shirt that she wore, and landing on her bare ass.
Nipping her lip between my teeth, I growled, “Would it be totally wrong to take you right here?”
She answered my question by pulling me down to the floor and straddling me as she threw the T-shirt across the room. “It’ll never be wrong to take me anywhere.”
TWO WEEKS LATER, London and I sat on the couch in our living room. She was yawning through the ten o’clock news, its contagiousness wearing off on me.
I stretched my arm behind her, kneading the tense muscles of her neck. “Why don’t we go up to bed? It’s been a long week. I know you’re tired.”
“But it’s not even ten thirty yet.” She hid another yawn by pouting. “I feel like we hardly saw each other today.”
I loved that we shared that same passion for each other. Even though we’d been living under the same roof for more than a week, we still couldn’t get enough time together. I hoped that mutual need to soak in as much of each other as possible wouldn’t fade over time. It happened to a lot of couples, but I had faith it wouldn’t happen to us. After all, we weren’t exactly two unsuspecting strangers who’d fallen in love over the course of the last few months. We’d known every intricate detail about each other before we crashed into this whirlwind head on. If London could withstand all those years of my annoying ass before she loved me this way, I was sure she could endure the next sixty to seventy years without batting an eye. For the ones ahead would be even better than the ones we left behind.
“Babe, don’t make me carry you up to bed. You know I will.”
Fingering the necklace that hung around her neck—the necklace from Hunter that she still hadn’t come around to taking off and stashing away—she closed her eyes and rested her head against the plush couch cushions. “Just five more minutes. I want to see the next segment. One of the nurses at the transplant center is being honored at a charity walk this weekend. I wonder if we know her.”
I’d been to the transplant center a bunch of times over the last few weeks and hadn’t heard anything about it, but then again, I’d been in and out of there as if wearing blinders, on a one lane track. I wanted everything done as quickly as possible so that we could get my and Ella’s surgeries underway. It was the only thing holding us back from truly enjoying every last second of our new lives together. That and what I knew about her brother and her ex-husband.
“Did he ever tell you that I picked that out for him?” I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t told her before, or why I chose this as the time to share this unnecessary information.
“Picked out what?”
I reached over and manipulated the gold compass pendant in my fingers, turning it over and over as I looked into London’s tired eyes. “Your necklace. It was a Christmas gift from Hunter, first year married, right?”
She placed a hand over it, forcing me to lower my hand, her expression one of confusion mixed with remorse. Reaching around her neck to unclasp it, she said, “Yes. I didn’t even realize I still had it on. I’ve been wearing it so long it kind of just became a permanent fixture.”
Stilling her hands, I laughed through my nose. “You don’t have to take it off, London. That’s not why I brought it up.”
A beat of silence passed between us. She brought her hands down to her lap, abandoning the necklace so it fell back into place at the hollowed indent between her exposed collar bones. “He never told me that you helped him pick it out. I honestly had no idea.”
I couldn’t tell if this upset her or if she was indifferent. It had been a long time since Hunter’s name came up. We talked more about Bryce, who’d only been in her life for a few months. But lately, the ghost of her ex-husband haunted me more than usual. It was probably my guilty conscience, but part of me—the part that wondered if London would ever consciously remove that piece of him from her body—questioned whether she was truly over her loss.
“He wanted to get you the perfect gift and he was having trouble so he asked me for some ideas. At first, I was honored that he allowed me into that part of your lives, but then I was pissed. He was your husband. How could he not know what made you happy?
“I remembered you eyeing something similar to it when we were watching one of those DIY home improvement shows at your place one night. The woman in the episode was wearing a necklace just like the one you’re wearing now. You commented on how pretty it was, you loved what it stood for. I planned on buying it for you myself, but I didn’t think it was my place. It seemed too intimate, even though my feelings ran deeper than they should’ve back then. But then, after you told me what Hunter said when he gave it to you—about you being his north, south, east, and west—well, I just didn’t think it’d be fair to tarnish your memory of that special gift. So, I didn’t say anything.” I kept it to myself, just like I’m keeping more of his secrets to myself now.
I wanted to bust out with the truth right then and there, but London’s deep sigh and the nagging feeling that telling her would ruin everything—at least for now—stopped me before I could say another word.
“And now you do want to tarnish the memory?” It was a sheepish curiosity. “Because, just so you know, Hunter did enough damage on his own without you having to dirty his reputation at all.”
I knew, and I felt terrible for even bringing it up. She was tired, we were happy, and here I was talking about Hunter as if he were someone I needed to worry about. Hell, just thinking of him with that in mind, gave that stupid notion power. And it didn’t deserve any power at all because London was with me now. Hunter had his chance and he fucked it up. She was over him. He was her past and I was her future.
But what would happen when her past collided with her future? Because it was inevitable. Hunter wasn’t gone for good. If not for his ties to London, his entanglement with Memphis would surely have him resurfacing one of these days. And the question that loomed over me was when would he resurface?
Not if. When would the perfect world we were living in be turned upside down?
We went to bed that night without another mention of Hunter. London slept soundly, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. I, on the other hand, tossed and turned, only finding sleep for a few hours before the alarm woke me up for work.
One thing was clear as I looked over at London that morning, the faintest bit of sunlight casting shadows across her peaceful face.
She deserved the truth. I couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was time to man up, face the consequences, and possibly lose her trust. For a little while, at least.
I had to tell her.
That night, London was hosting dinner for everyone at the house. By everyone, I meant our new extended family unit of Ella and Henry, as well as my mom.
London was taking care of all the cooking and only asked that I pick up a few bottles of wine on the way home from work. The entire drive across town, I tried not to think about how tired I was. Or rather, why I was so tired. My lack of sleep due to the thoughts running through my head was enough to make any man feel as though he was going crazy. But I shoved it all aside in an effort to enjoy what I knew the night would bring. Good food, good people, good times.
When I arrived, Ella and my mom were already there helping London. I could tell by the three boisterous voices booming from the kitchen as I walked through the front door.
“Honey, I’m home!” I bellowed, kicking off my shoes and following the scent of freshly baked focaccia bread to where my three favorite women were gathered around the kitchen island. It was a marvelous sight to take in. One I’d only ever hoped to see.
London’s eyes caught mine when she looked up from sprinkling parmesan cheese on top of one of the pizzas she was creating.
“Hey, babe. Dinner’ll be ready in about twenty. Henry’s on his way. Did you bring the wine?”
“How was your day?” she asked after giving me a quick kiss.
I wanted more—then again, I always wanted more—but being as our mothers were watching us like hawks, a brief brush of my most coveted lips would have to suffice for now.
“It was good. How about you?”
“Good, too.” She nodded, going back to work at the island.
“Hello, ladies,” I offered to Ella and my mom as I made my rounds and pecked each of them on the cheek. “Everything looks and smells delicious.”
I reached out to steal a piece of mozzarella from where it lay sliced on the cutting board, but my mother slapped my hand before I could snatch it up.
“You’ll spoil your appetite. It’s almost ready. Go wash up.”
“And pour us some of that vino,” Ella added.
On my way to the sink, I laughed at the way things had naturally fallen into place and yet how they’d managed to stay the same, too. It seemed no matter how old I got, my mother would always treat me like a five-year-old boy.
“Mom, you sure you should be drinking? Didn’t Doctor Bronson give you a bunch of restrictions in preparation for the surgery?” It was London’s turn to sound like the mother hen.
Ella rolled her eyes as she popped a piece of tomato into her mouth. “Is one tiny drink really gonna kill me?”
I nestled between London and Ella, defying my mother by taking the sliver of mozzarella Ella snuck off the cutting board for me. “Thank you,” I said as I chewed. “I’ll make you a spritzer. How about that?”
“Sam,” London warned on a whisper.
“Oh, leave him alone. Besides, if I’m not supposed to have a drink, neither is he.”
She had a point there. Doctor Bronson advised both Ella and me to take it easy over the next few weeks. But this was the first time everyone was together in our new home and it was cause for celebration. “I agree with Ella. One drink won’t do any harm. After that, we promise to behave.”
Take My Breath Away (The Every Breath Duet Book 2) Page 5