Alice: The Leader

by Gabriella Dennany

  My mind is open to everything.

  I can see the man holding my arm’s skeleton; He tried to consume me. But he couldn’t. I start to know everything about the man, he is single, has two cats, killed two people. Not just people, some C.T.O. He was made a ChemiTerrorist because one of them touched him. His skeleton is pure white with very few cracks. I scream with pain and fright, trying to forget what is going on. His friend is actually his brother. His name is John Buck Gresh; His brother is Lewis Mickey Gresh. Suddenly, John lets go of my arm. He shakes his head in disbelief and stretches out his hand, no more flames, no more smoke.

  “Lewis, Lewis! I’m normal! Normal!” Then he looks at me and laughs. “Sucks for you, cupcake. Now you get to learn what hell really is!”

  I look down to my hands and see smoke coming from them. “No, NO!” I cry. I see black veins molding out of my arms. My body becomes so flexible; so many possibilities appear in front of me.

  Out of horror and amazement of the possibilities with my new body the night of the alley fades to pitch blackness. Everything fades away. The flames burn everything from my mind. It goes numb. Even though I feel asleep, I can still hear and feel everything. My arms are burning from the pain and the pounding of feet make my ears pop as if I am on an airplane. My heart pumps slowly and heavily.

  The last clear thing I can hear is Lewis yelling to his brother, “Buck, we ain’t justgonna leave her, are we?” Buck laughs and replies, “Who cares, Lewis! I am healed! And you can be too! Take hold of her!”

  I hear Lewis’s pounding feet come closer and closer to my body. I hear him let out a sigh and he gently picks up my arm.

  An ear splitting scream leaves my mouth and fills the cold air. My eyes are wide open once more and my vision zooms in on the dark sky, allowing me to see the unseeable. Millions of stars cloud my vision and the Milky Way shortly comes into view. Just before my eyes leave our home galaxy, I feel my body start to convulse and fill with energy. Electricity fills my body and Lewis starts to convulse also. He lets go of my arm and it falls limp to my side.

  “Buck,” He whispers. Lewis is gasping for breath while staring at his brother.

  I stare at him in disbelief as I watch him die. The man before me isn’t a terrorist anymore. But, he is paying the price for freedom. His brother’s price was losing his brother. What a pity.

  Buck picks up his brother and looks at me. “I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!” He screams. Tears stream down his cheeks as he holds his brother to his chest. Lewis’s breath is becoming short as Buck runs out of the alley and into the dark of the night.

  I lie on the ground in shock with my eyes wide and bloodshot. I feel paralyzed in this very moment this very spot. The noise is unbearable around me and the things that I see slowly become too much.

  A tear rolls down my cheekbone.

  A noise comes from beside me, and my head pops to the sound. A white glowing figure kneels down beside me and takes my head in its lap. It opens its mouth and is about to speak when it flickers. I squint to get a better look at the figure. A woman, with long dark hair and green eyes smiles at me. She is beautiful, yet something about her makes me uneasy. I squirm to get away, but she holds on to me too tightly.

  “All will be fine in time, Alice.” She whispers. Her voice sounds musical but has a dangerous end to it. She looks sad and in distress, but also happy. As if she is glad to see me. I try to open my mouth, but nothing happens. I am literally paralyzed.

  The woman smiles at me once more and leans down to my ear. “Sleep.” She whispers. My eyes close and I have no dreams during that moment. Or maybe I do. Maybe I just can’t tell.

  It is unusual, but I believe that she took away the dreams. Or not. Whoever she is.

  Gone

  I lie in the dark alleyway. The air is damp and so am I. It must have rained again tonight. Sadly, my memory seems very foggy. I, of course, can recall from a while ago – when I was with Eric – but I cannot remember how I ended up here exactly.Iknow that I was mugged –damn it! No bread! – And then I fainted. I am pretty sure that was it. But, something else happened that I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  I feel as if something was on my mind just dissolved the very moment I opened my eyes. Although I am pretty sure that someone found me and told me that it would be just fine. But how could that had happened if I am still here?

  Still it distress.

  Lookingat my watch, the time says, 2:00 a.m. I have been here for 2 hours, yet no one has found me. Or so it seems.

  I roll back on my heels, and stand up. I feel… Lighter. Or maybe even stronger. I know that it sounds weird, but I mean it feels like I lost like ten pounds. Or put on 10 pounds of muscles.

  Something has happened to me. Putting my hand against the cold brick wall, I balance myself. Something is wrong; something is absolutely, defiantly wrong. I can hear mice scurrying on the hard ground, and a truck passing by. Wait, a truck? Passing by? Not at this hour, only… only the C.T.O. could be the ones to still drive around here. Shit! NO!

  The first thought that comes to mind is to hide. I look around, seeing a dumpster. Normally, I guess I would go inside. But instead, I climb on top of it and start climbing up the building next to me. Grabbing ledges, windows and rain pipes I finally manage to scale the tall building. The feeling is freaking amazing, but it only lasts for moments.

  The fear of heights was a great problem of mine in my life but now I feel happy, amazed… no, I feel awed having defeated my fear. The humid air is so clean and so calm when I finally get to the top. Especially after the rain. Especially in the night. I wish to scream at the top of my throat but I refrain, remembering that I have to hide.

  I pull myself up and over the ledge and for a moment, I just lie there.

  After making sure the C.T.O. bastards are long gone, I let out an exasperated sigh and use my arms to push myself up to my feet. Once I am standing I gaze at the city of lights before me. I look over the ledge and jump back in surprise when I see another C.T.O. truck speeding across. I turn my gaze to the sky.

  The sky is dark and full of stars, but some of them are darker than others. It feels grand to see the night sky again. After so many years.

  I remember stars from my childhood. Yes, they used to be brighter. Far brighter. It feels as if The Mist covers them. Maybe the stars are all in my mind and maybe this all is just a dream.

  And maybe The Mist covers my mind. Preventing me from seeing all the stars in their full brightness.

  A random pain makes me flinch from my head. It was The Mist, I was right, it covered the stars… but the pain, it quickly disappears. I remember now… after being mugged I saw something. Something incredible!

  Yes, I saw the sky and the stars. I saw everything from the stars, to our neighbors – the planets – the edge of the Milky Way, and the beginning of the outside of the visible universe. A moment like this seems impossible but it happens every once in a while. And it never happens when you expect it.

  Suddenly the stars start to fade away and my mind starts to get darker. My moment of clairvoyance is dissolving with the stars. It had to end. Everything has to end and I hate it. I want to see more. I’d give anything to see more. At least a small bit of what I saw…

  In school, I was asked to attend an Astrology elective class. I used to wake up in the morning excited to go to the class. Now that I had seen some of the most amazing things anyone can ever encounter, I know that I want more. To see the universe, to see other galaxies, other worlds!

  Shaking my head, I sigh. I act like I want to take over the world or some shit. But this time I am filled with determination from the stars.

  I mean, I surely don’t but if I could possibly see that once more, I could be the next Galileo Galilee. Eric would say to me, “I thinkstars are often a symbol of hope. A cloudy night represents despair.” Ever since that, I would never be able to sleep at night during a storm.

  Gazing upon the sky, I am struck by the darkness of the night, darker than
smeared charcoal, small splashes of silver glittering here and there as if an artist had brazenly attempted to light it without aim; Smoky grey clouds deteriorate under the fluorescent silver beams of the moon, as if they are shadows to be banished.

  The beauty itself took my breath away. But, when thinking about the sky, how vast and huge the universe is and how tiny we are and that we mean next to nothing in our universe’s time, or just darkness in general, the thoughts scare me.

  As a child I used to wake up in the night and wish for the sun. The darkness always disturbed me.

  My imagination ended up supplying many beasts with fantastical jaws to lurk beyond the range of my vision. But as I grew older, I started to embrace them. I became aware that all the monsters were in my head. At least, until the emerging of the Chemi-Terrorists. Although, some of them are still human.

  Hell… I am a monster now…

  No.

  I am human. Or I will try to be.

  The night provides cover from the flesh and blood monsters of the day, the ones with their guns and official badges, the ones who can be the judges, juries, and executioners in the name of freedom.

  Even on the most moonlit of nights I blend into the city’s shadows, staying clear of those pools of yellow light that flow from the streetlamps. The neon and white lights that used to flame from the bars and restaurants are now extinguished. Theonly reason to venture out at night is to join the game, the game where everyone loses and the only prize is the knowing that you fought. The thought of this day and age with this government scares me. The government is made of the monsters of my child nightmares.

  This dark night reminds me of childhood fears. I hate it so much. But, then again, I love it even more, I embrace it.

  Darkness is a strange substance when you think about it. Like ice it has three states solid, liquid, and gas, but with a twist. Since it is a sort of a mystical material, it doesn't fall under the laws of science, only able to change states by the user. In solid form it is almost completely black, aside from a very tiny shade of red at its center, like a candle in the dark. When a nonuser touches it, it becomes more like getting winded, if hit by a sharp point it will penetrate and quickly infect.

  As a liquid it’s thick; sticky, and has a pungent smell of ink, it can act like quicksand or justa plain coat that suffocates people.

  As a gas it is quite strange as it is able to pass through solid material with ease, suffocate, and eat away like acid. Thus, as a whole, Darkness is an odd thing.

  Suddenly, I smell smoke all around me. Why do I smell smoke? “Ignore the smell, Alice. I bet it is just a chimney nearby. I am on top of a building already!”

  So, where to now?

  Home. Eric. That is all I need. I have to get home to Eric. He must be worried. Terrified. I climb down the building normally.

  I suddenly slip on a wet windowsill and fall down. I hit the very same dumpster I climbed with my back. The hit was so loud, the sound soared across the sky. I am completely sure that I’m busted.

  A C.T.O. truck goes by as I lay almost paralyzed on the dumpster. I must have broken something. I try to move myself but nothing happens. My body won’t obey.

  The C.T.O. truck is almost next to me and I’m laying here. I can’t… no… not like this. I painfully gasp and on purpose fall off the dumpster. But the C.T.O. truck just went by.

  Nothing happened. I just was very paranoid because of my noise. No one knows I’m here. Good.

  After a few moments I stand up. My body once more belongs to me.

  I step out of the alley, and diligently look both ways. No one is around, luckily. „Time to run Alice,” I think. So that’s what I do.

  I start to run. I appear to be fine. Except that my back hurts like the nine hells themselves fell upon me.

  My determination drives me forward. I will be with Eric in no time. I run super-fast. Then slow, and then fast again.

  I smell like smoke, like those Chemi-freakingTerrorists I met before.

  Wait, I smell like a ChemiTerrorist. That can’t mean… Ha, never. But, thenI glance down at my hands.

  Smoke.

  Fire.

  No! No, Eric. Eric will help me. Just get back to him. Then everything will be alright. I will be alright. So, I keep running, and running. My legs are aching and sore while I zoom back home.

  The smoke leaves a trail and I am afraid that the C.T.O. would think that I am a ChemiTerrorist. I push myself to run even faster. The smell of fire clouds up my nostrils, making me cough. A tingling sensation on my hands makes me shake my whole torso in frustration.

  Soon, I am home. Quietly, I open the door and walk inside. Mr. Rolf is nowhere to be seen, so I sprint up the old steps and jump inside our apartment.

  “Eric?” I whisper.

  He has to be here, I mean why wouldn’t he be? I pull off my jacket and toss it on to the couch. There are holes in it and it’s sizzling. I stare at it in total confusion. But I quickly push the thoughts away. My cindering jacket doesn’t matter at the moment.

  Oh, who cares how it even caught on fire! It is totally normal for jackets to catch on fire randomly these days… or is it?

  Damn it, where is he? Nothing seems to have been touched.

  All looks normal. I glance towards the counter; A glass of water sits alone with only a drop left in it.

  I walk over to it and pick it up.

  I drag my finger across the outside and feel along scratch from the ring at the top to the middle of the cup. I raise an eyebrow at the scratch. This is one of the glassesEric was given when we first got here by the café across the street.

  He is the only one that uses them. How on earth would he let one of his precious glasses get a scratch on it? I set the glass down gently.

  The only way for there to be such a long scratch, I guess, is that he was startled and scratched the sensitive glass by accident. Why would he be startled enough to scratch this though? At the moment, this doesn’t make that much sense. Now, where the hell is he?

  His room. Aye, he should be in there.

  I walk over to the door, but before opening it, I stop and gaze in shock at my appearance. My face is covered in smoke, and so are my hands.

  On my arms, are tattoos? I don’t have tattoos. I turn to look at my whole body in the mirror. What the hell is going on with me? Just… just how? They are the same on both of my arms. No, they are not tattoos. They are veins. Black. Just like the Chemi-Terrorist’s in the alley. Large black veins.

  There is something else different about my appearance that I can’t quite put my finger on. I look the same, mostly.

  That is it; My arms seem to have muscles, the kind that you get after working out for months. Eric and I never had the money for that, so how do I look like this?

  My legs are still aching, but that pain doesn’t bother me. My abs are killing me, yet I didn’t do anythingto make them ache so much. My back hurts as if it was broken.

  In confusion, I lift my shirt while turning to my right. I have a six-pack! Since when? It doesn’t make any sense. My body is changing, yet I didn’t do anything to change it. And it isn’t even that time of the freakin’month!

  Turning away, I think that Eric can help me. Finally, I open the door while holding my breath.

  His room has been ransacked.

  Eric’s desk is turned over and his clothes are spilling out of his closet. I jog over to his closet and see that some of his clothes have slashes in them. Slashes? What?

  The window is wide open, sending in a cool breeze that sends shivers down my back. The bed sheets are on the floor next to the bed and the pillow also has slashes in it.

  I crouch to the ground to see bullet shells. This means, someone came in here and shot at Eric. Or, Eric took out one of his guns and shot at the intruder.

  I start to walk to his bed,when I trip over something large causing me to fall.

  I turn over on my back and gaze at what made me fall. I reach out and pick up a gun. But this isn’t
one of Eric’s pistols; This is something that I have never seen before. I drop the gun, frightened as to whom it might have belonged to. I stand and look around once more. Eric certainly isn’t here, but there seems to be something on his bed.

  A letter maybe?

  I step over his things, and pick up a folded white piece of paper, terrified at what I am to see. All of the blood leaves my face, leaving me pale. My heart is in my throat, and I am afraid about what I am about to read. Opening the letter, I see:

  “Dear Miss Lee,

  The government saw the signs of the ChemiTerrorists in your cozy home. We have exterminated all things that might have been supposedly contaminated by the terrorist. If you know of this ‘Conduit’ please contact the Counter-ChemiTerrorist Order. Your brother has been exterminated from your worries. Please, we will be keepingan eye on you, so we will know if you have befriended a Conduit. And please, do not disobey us. If you are a Terrorist, we will find you and you will be put with your brother. May your days be free of terrorists, and full of liberty!

  Captain”

  I read the short note, over and over.

  Every word fills me with rage. My flesh turns black and my veins become pulsating with red glow.

  “Exterminated?” “Full of liberty?” Bull. Now I am alone. No family, nor any friends. My rage turns uncontrollable and one of my black arms mold into a large hammer. I smash a wall with it and fall down crumbling.

  With every breath I take, smoke comes out of my nostrils. I feel the flames of fury burn my eyes.

  I feel how all the rage gradually turns into sorrow and tears slowly extinguish the flames in my eyes.

  I collapse on his bed, and sob like a pathetic little girl.

  Alone.

  Sadness.

  This isn’t happening. I will wake up, and when I do, Eric will come to me, we will drink coffee together and our happy life will carry on as if nothing happened.