Shades of Gray k-6

by Maya Banks

  Knowing she’d have to strip down when she got to the hospital, she opted to wear sweats and a T-shirt, this time pulling on a sports bra.

  When she limped into the kitchen, she saw Cole at the table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. It struck her how domestic the entire scene was. All that was missing was for her to walk over, kiss him and say good morning.

  Was this what it was like for married couples? That comfortable existence that bordered on boring?

  Cole looked up from the newspaper and his eyes warmed when he saw her. “Morning, P.J. How’s the leg?”

  Yeah, she could totally see them falling into this kind of routine. She loved that he seemed happy to see her. Would that ever lessen? Would they end up taking each other for granted? Would they lose the easy friendship between them and start sniping like an old married couple?

  She shuddered at the thought. She was getting way ahead of herself anyway. They had far too many issues to work out before she could start thinking about long-term commitment.

  “It was pretty stiff when I got up,” she admitted. “Hurt like hell but I worked out some of the kinks, and if I keep moving, it stays loose.”

  He frowned. “Sit down. Let me get you something to eat and then I’ll give you a pain pill. We’ll leave as soon as you’re done eating. I figure the quicker we get over there, the sooner we can get out and you aren’t stuck the entire day at the hospital.”

  “You know me so well,” she said with a grin.

  She settled into a chair and watched as he fussed over her. It was such an odd sensation. She and Derek had been together two full years and had never developed the easy rapport she and Cole had. And she certainly couldn’t ever imagine Derek actually doing the little things for her that Cole did.

  The sex had been good. She’d give that to Derek, but in the end, that’s all there’d been to their relationship. Sex. No emotional connection. No loyalty. Nothing she couldn’t have gotten with any other man.

  She’d always known that Derek felt threatened by her, but she’d ignored the simmering resentment, chalking it up to being the only woman on a male-dominated team. He never missed an opportunity to take her down a few notches and fuck with her confidence.

  With Cole—and the other men on her team—there had been only acceptance and appreciation of her skills with a rifle. She hadn’t known how truly difficult things had been for her on her old team until she’d joined KGI. Comparing the two now made her feel stupid for sticking with her old team as long as she had.

  She had a good thing here, and she’d very nearly thrown it all away. Thank God they hadn’t let her.

  Her heart squeezed and emotion knotted her throat. They’d fought for her and hadn’t let her walk away. Maybe they’d never know how much that meant, especially at a time when she most needed support and someone to anchor her.

  A few minutes later, Cole served up scrambled eggs, bacon and toast along with orange juice. He set a pill beside her glass with instructions to take it after she’d eaten. Then he settled back into his chair and watched as she dug in.

  “Not going to eat?” she asked around a bite.

  “I already ate. Was just keeping the food warm for you.”

  “Thanks,” she said softly, realizing she’d said that a lot lately. But could she ever really fully verbalize the scope of her gratitude?

  “Eat up and we’ll hit the road. I know you’re probably still in a lot of pain, but I was thinking if we get you all checked out and premedicate you for the evening I could take you out on a date.”

  He hesitated and sounded a little nervous.

  “You mean like on a real date?” she blurted.

  “Yeah, you know. I take you someplace nice to eat, or as nice as we have in this neck of the woods. We relax. Have some good conversation and then maybe I get a kiss good night. One of those dates.”

  She smiled and then felt her smile grow even bigger until her teeth were flashing. “I’d like that. It sounds fun.”

  He visibly relaxed. His relief was so endearing that she wished they were closer so she could reach out and touch him. She’d never considered herself a needy person, but she needed . . . him. Needed the comfort of his friendship and the promise of something more.

  “Then let’s get moving so we can get this over with. Maybe after dinner we can rent some B movies and I’ll make us popcorn.”

  “Cheesy disaster movies!” she exclaimed.

  He grinned. “I knew you were my kind of girl.”

  * * *

  “WELL I’m glad to see someone on your team has some sense and dragged you back kicking and screaming,” Cathy said, sharp disapproval in her eyes.

  P.J. sat dutifully and endured a stern lecture from her friend while she clipped out the stitches Donovan had set and then cleaned the wound.

  “I was pretty pissed when I heard you went AWOL and nobody heard from you for six months,” Cathy continued. “If I’d known you were going to do something that dumbass, I’d never have helped you get out of here that first time.”

  “You shouldn’t have anyway,” Cole said, a low growl in his voice.

  Cathy sent him a glare over her shoulder and sniffed disdainfully. “Women have to stick together. You couldn’t possibly understand the girlfriends’ code. A good friend will bail you out when you land in jail, but a very good friend will be sitting beside you in that jail cell.”

  “How does that make any sense?” Cole asked, clearly baffled.

  P.J. laughed. “What she means is that helping out a friend may not always make sense, but we do it anyway because that’s what friends do.”

  “Is it any wonder men have no clue what goes on in a woman’s mind?” he grumbled.

  Cathy rolled her eyes. “Clueless is about the right description for men in general. Besides, as much as I didn’t like it, P.J. did what she had to do at the time.”

  She glanced up and met P.J.’s gaze. “That doesn’t mean that you need to go off like that again.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” P.J. said meekly. “My team has made me see the error in my ways.”

  “Good men. Always did like them.”

  “What? You just said we’re all a bunch of clueless idiots,” Cole sputtered.

  Cathy grinned. “Can’t have you getting the big head.”

  Cole shook his head as Cathy set the last suture. Then he moved forward, looking at P.J.’s leg over Cathy’s shoulder. “How’s it look?”

  “Donovan did a good job,” Cathy said. “The wound is clean and free of infection. I’d still like to send her home with a prescription for antibiotics just in case. If she notices any redness or swelling around the wound, she needs to start on them immediately. If she starts running a fever, feels bad or just feels off in any way, you’ll need to bring her back in so we can have a look-see. Donovan did an adequate job of stitching but I wanted to get in there and see for myself what we were dealing with.”

  “What kind of recovery time are we looking at?” Cole asked.

  Cathy turned to face Cole. “Well, if she takes it easy and stays off her feet and doesn’t try to do too much too soon, I’d say a couple weeks. But good luck getting her to do just that.”

  Cole snorted. “Tell me about it.”

  “Hey, guys?” P.J. broke in. “Hello? I’m sitting right here. Stop talking about me like I’m not present.”

  Cathy gave her a dismissive look. “I know better than to tell you all this with no witnesses. You only hear what you want to hear and disregard the rest. At least now Cole will know what you’re supposed to do and make sure you do it.”

  “Sometimes friends can be a pain in the ass,” P.J. grouched.

  Cathy grinned. “That’s what friends do, sugar.”

  P.J. smiled back at her. “Thanks, Cathy. I appreciate everything.”

  “Just focus on getting better. That’s the best thanks you can give me.” Her expression sobered and she put her hand on P.J.’s arm, squeezing lightly. “I worry about you, P.J.”


  “You don’t have to worry about her anymore,” Cole said firmly. “I fully intend to make sure she takes it easy and does what she’s supposed to.”

  Cathy’s eyes widened and then a broad smile split her lips. “Well, okay then. It would seem P.J. has met her match.”

  Cole cut a glance in her direction, those blue eyes gleaming with promise. “Oh yeah, most definitely.”

  Cathy took a step back, surveying P.J. with apparent satisfaction. Then she pursed her lips and said, “I’d give you a pair of crutches, but something tells me you wouldn’t use them.”

  P.J. wrinkled her nose in distaste. “No. You’re right. I wouldn’t. I limp along just fine. A little pain isn’t going to kill me.”

  Cathy shrugged. “Hardheaded woman. Okay, well I’m done with you. I’ll give you back to Cole so you can be a pain in his ass instead of a pain in mine.”

  P.J. laughed and then slid gingerly off the bed. She held on to the edge for a long moment before pushing off to stand on her own.

  Cole hovered at her elbow, his brow creased with concern. But he didn’t make a fuss or a scene in front of Cathy, which she totally appreciated.

  He did remain solidly at her side as she maneuvered her way out of the exam room and into the hall.

  “You okay?” he asked quietly when they got outside the hospital.

  She nodded. “Yeah. Hurts like a mofo, but I can deal.”

  He helped her into the passenger seat of his truck and then reached over her to snag a bottle of water in the center console. Still standing there, he opened the glove compartment and retrieved the container holding the pain medication.

  “Here, go ahead and take another pill so you stay ahead of the pain. And if you want to take a rain check on tonight, we can go back to the house so you can take a nap on the couch.”

  She laid her hand over his and he went completely still. She could feel the hitch in his breath as it stuttered over his lips.

  “I want to go, Cole. I’ll take the pill and I’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to our . . . date.”

  He touched his knuckle to her face and brushed it down the curve of her cheekbone. Then he simply leaned in and kissed her forehead. “So am I.”

  CHAPTER 29

  “OH my God, I’m stuffed,” P.J. groaned as she pushed her plate away. “That was so freaking good.”

  Cole had taken her to this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that resembled a shack twenty minutes from his house. They served a variety of country-style food, but the seafood was out of this world.

  She’d ordered the seafood platter and damn near ate the entire thing.

  “I practically live here when I’m home,” Cole said. “Not that I can’t cook, but the food is great and the prices are reasonable. No sense cooking for one when I can come here.”

  “If I had a place like this to eat, I’d never cook either,” she said.

  “Glad you enjoyed it. You need a few more meals like this one.” His tone grew serious. “You lost a lot of weight over the last six months, P.J. Weight you couldn’t afford to lose. You could stand to pack on a few more pounds.”

  If he didn’t sound so genuinely concerned, his comment would irk her. But it was obvious he was worried, and she couldn’t fault him for that. She’d had plenty to say to him when he was convalescing after taking a bullet. It was her turn to shut up and take it.

  The waitress walked up and P.J. sat back with a satisfied sigh while Cole settled the bill. So far this dating thing had been . . . nice. They’d had a great meal and casual conversation. It had been fun, and when was the last time she could say she had a good time?

  The last months had been anything but fun.

  For that matter the only fun times she could recall were the times she spent with Cole and her team. They were who she felt at-home with.

  “You ready?” Cole asked, shaking her from her thoughts.

  She pushed back her chair and then braced her palms on the table, keeping most of her weight on her hands until she had her feet under her.

  As she turned toward the doorway, Cole slid his arm around her waist, pulling her into the shelter of his body. She fit perfectly underneath his arm, her head just on level with his shoulder.

  Without giving it a second thought, she wrapped her arm around him in return as she limped toward the exit.

  There was a chill to the air tonight that had been absent the night before. Spring was still deciding if it was here to stay and winter was fighting a losing battle.

  She shivered lightly as the wind picked up, and Cole rubbed his hand up and down her arm to warm her.

  “I’ll build us a fire when we get back to the house if you like. We can kick off our shoes, get in some comfy clothes and park it on the couch to watch our movies.”

  “Mmm, that sounds nice.”

  It sounded . . . romantic. A cozy evening on the couch at home watching movies. It was something she’d have done as a teenager, and now, knocking on the door to thirty, she was just as giddy as her teenage self used to be.

  “Hey, how old are you, Coletrane?” she blurted.

  He stopped in the process of opening his truck door for her and looked at her with a raised brow. “Thirty-two. Why?”

  She shrugged. “No reason. I just realized I never knew how old you were.”

  “And it occurred to you that you just had to know right this moment?” he asked with a chuckle.

  He opened the door and waited as she slid into the seat. Then he walked around to get in on his side.

  “Well, yeah,” she said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “It would be kind of weird if you were younger than me.”

  He glanced sideways at her. “Why the hell would it be weird? And am I younger than you?”

  “No. I’ll be thirty this year. And I don’t know why. I’ve just always assumed you were older.”

  He shook his head. “You get some strange ideas, P.J. Age is irrelevant. Whether you were older or younger than me wouldn’t change how I feel about you. I hope to hell it wouldn’t affect how you felt about me.”

  The last thing she wanted was to cause dissension between them.

  “Honestly, I was just curious. It’s no big deal.”

  She had her elbow propped on the console, and he reached over, sliding his fingers down her arm until he got to her hand. Then he simply picked it up, curled his fingers around hers and rested their joined hands between them.

  For a long moment she simply stared at his hand cupped over hers. Warmth spread up her arm and into her chest. It was the simplest thing in the world. At her age, it shouldn’t send an odd flutter through her chest or make her feel like a breathless teenager on her first date.

  But he had that effect on her. She felt like she was being courted. God, what a silly, outdated word, but it was so appropriate. Cole seemed to have an old soul when it came to relationships, and she thought it was kind of cute.

  The men she was used to going out with forwent the courting phase and went straight for the fly of her jeans. There was nothing slow or patient about their methods. It was usually a question of “do you want to fuck or not?”

  Clearly she’d been hanging out with the wrong guys.

  “You’re quiet,” he said.

  She laughed. “I was just thinking that I’ve been hanging with the wrong guys.”

  “Oh? Do tell. What prompted that epiphany?”

  “The guys I was with in the past were douche bags. I can’t think of a single one who ever held my hand, offered me pain medication, cooked me breakfast or wanted to watch cheesy disaster movies on the couch.”

  “Appalling,” he said in mock shock.

  “I know, isn’t it?”

  He picked up her hand and kissed it. “I’m glad you’ve seen the error of your ways.”

  She smiled and leaned back against the headrest. Damn but she could really fall hard for this guy. Her teammate. Someone she had no business entering a relationship with. It could fuck up all sorts of
things. Or it could end up being the start of something truly wonderful.

  Oh, to have a crystal ball.

  It was completely dark by the time he pulled into his driveway. The porch light glowed warmly, illuminating the homey feel of his house.

  Welcome home, it seemed to say.

  Cole cut the engine and hopped out, hurrying around to her side as she opened her own door. He reached in to take her hand and helped her out.

  Still holding her hand, he shut her door and then headed toward the porch, matching his step to her awkward, slower one. She leaned on him a little harder when she navigated the steps but was pleased with the progress she was making.

  He flipped on the lights as they entered the house, and he took her to the couch first, insisting she sit back. He lifted each foot in turn and slid her tennis shoes off, tossing them to the side. Then he dragged the ottoman from its position in front of the armchair over to the couch so she could prop her leg up.

  “All comfy?” he asked.

  “I couldn’t be any more comfortable,” she replied.

  “I’ll just go get us something to drink and throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and then we’ll crank up the end-of-the-world movies.”

  “Awesome!”

  She watched as he walked away and continued staring when he disappeared from sight. She was falling so hard for him and she was awash in the giddy sensations of a new relationship. When everything was new and fresh and every little thing was exciting. When each touch was a thrill and you savored even the briefest contact.

  They’d already had sex, for God’s sake, but this was completely different. It was as if that one night they’d shared together was a lifetime ago and erased from the equation. They were starting brand-new, as if they’d just met, only the ease in which they got along hinted at a long-standing friendship that was charting new territory.

  He returned five minutes later with a bowl of popcorn and two cans of cola. He handed her a drink and the popcorn and then went to the television to retrieve the remote.

  As he settled onto the couch beside her, he turned on the TV and started flipping through the menu of movies they could watch.