Shades of Gray k-6

by Maya Banks

  “I made a phone call this morning,” he began. “This may not be something you want to do, and I’ll understand if it pisses you off. I just thought that it might help.”

  She cocked her head and stared back at him, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. “Why would I be pissed?”

  He grimaced. “I arranged for you to hook up with the Kelly women today. I told Sam I’d drive you over after breakfast so you could spend some time with Rachel, Sophie, Sarah and Shea.”

  She blinked in surprise. “Oookay.”

  He could tell she was confused and he rushed to provide an explanation. Hell, it had sounded good at the time. Now it just seemed silly.

  He rubbed his hand over his nape in agitation. “Look, I just thought . . . I thought that since they’d gone through some of the stuff you’re going through, they could help. I don’t know, maybe you could talk to them about it. I thought it might help to know you aren’t alone. They’ve endured some pretty heavy shit. Especially Sarah. She was raped too.”

  For a long moment P.J. just stared at him. He swallowed nervously, anxiety nipping at his gut. The last thing he wanted was to fuck things up between him and P.J. And this may very well be the thing to do it.

  P.J. was intensely private, if nothing else. She wasn’t the kind to spread her business far and wide. He was only now learning shit about her that he never knew, and he’d worked with her for four years.

  But then her expression softened and her eyes glowed with a warm light.

  “Thank you,” she said. “It was very sweet of you to think of doing that for me.”

  Relief was crushing. He damn near wilted on the spot.

  “So you aren’t mad?”

  Her brow furrowed even deeper. “Mad because you care about me? Enough that you’d drive me all the way out to the KGI compound because you think meeting up with the Kelly wives would help me? You’re a very special man, David Coletrane. I don’t know why the hell you bother with me, but I’m so very glad you do.”

  It was all he could do not to haul her into his arms and never let her go.

  “Okay then,” he said gruffly. “If you want, finish up and get dressed and we’ll set out as soon as possible so it’s not too late when we get back.”

  She smiled and forked another bite of pancake into her mouth. “You know, I could get used to this kind of five-star service.”

  He relaxed, warmth spreading through his chest. If this was what it felt like to be in love, he figured he didn’t mind it so much after all.

  CHAPTER 31

  THE ride to the Kelly compound was tense and silent. Cole attempted to make small talk several times, but P.J.’s mind was preoccupied with the upcoming meeting with all the Kelly women.

  The truth was, they made her uncomfortable. She had no idea what to say around them. Had nothing in common with them. She had no idea what to say about babies and girly stuff, and the very last thing she wanted was some come-to-Jesus moment where they got touchy-feely and bared their souls.

  The mere idea had her in hives.

  But Cole had arranged it because he truly cared about her, and she knew he had her best interests at heart. So how could she possibly refuse without being an ungrateful bitch?

  She couldn’t.

  Cole had been so nervous and so worried that he’d stepped over the line that she would have done anything at all to reassure him.

  So what if she’d rather face an entire squad of crazy-ass terrorists than four other women?

  After what she’d put him through last night, she owed him a lot, and if it made him feel better, she’d endure damn near anything.

  When they pulled into the compound, P.J.’s eyes widened at the progress that had been made. It looked very much near to completion. There was a helipad, training facilities and a firing range. The only thing that looked as though it wasn’t finished was the single airstrip where the Kelly jets could land and be hangared.

  A lot had happened in six months. She suddenly felt out of the loop. A stranger among people she’d worked with for four years.

  Her eyes widened when she saw a group at the firing range. She recognized Nathan, Joe and Swanny but not the other two with them. And one of them was a woman. Her blond hair was gathered into a ponytail and she wore a baseball cap, but it was obvious she was female.

  She was much smaller in stature than the man she stood beside. He dwarfed her, but then he was bigger than Nathan, Joe and Swanny. Even from a distance she could tell he was a big, muscled man.

  “New recruits?” she asked lightly.

  “She’s not replacing you, P.J.”

  P.J. blinked. Okay, so maybe the thought had crossed her mind. Not that she was being replaced, exactly, but that maybe before they’d found P.J. again they’d brought this woman on board to fill the vacant spot on Steele’s team.

  “She’s on Nathan and Joe’s team. Donovan has wanted to add a third team for a while. Nathan and Joe are taking it. Swanny’s on it and they recruited Skylar and Zane.”

  “Oh,” P.J. said, trying to ignore the surge of relief that flooded her.

  He continued driving past the range and to the houses that were nestled at the back of the massive expanse of land that KGI owned.

  “Ethan and Rachel’s house is done,” P.J. said.

  “Yep. Everyone’s is finished. Well, except for Van and Joe’s. Van’s the holdout. He’s still living in the log cabin on the lake and Joe’s been bunking with him. But everyone who is married is living inside the compound.”

  “Even Marlene and Frank?”

  Cole smiled. “They don’t want to move from their house. They say there are way too many memories wrapped up in the house they raised their family in. Sam’s pissed about it, and last I heard, he and Garrett were trying to have an exact replica of their house built here.”

  P.J. nodded. “After what happened to Marlene, I can imagine her sons’ worry. She needs to be safe. KGI is only going to gain more enemies as time goes by. They certainly aren’t going to be making any friends.”

  “That’s true. It’s why Steele and I didn’t want you to stay alone in Denver. You’d be a much easier target. I’m sure Brumley isn’t just sitting around twiddling his thumbs and waiting for you to flush him out of whatever dark hole he’s crawled into.”

  P.J.’s face darkened into a scowl. “I wish the son of a bitch would find me. Would save me the trouble of going after his ass.”

  Cole reached for her hand and squeezed. “We’ll get him, P.J.”

  As they rolled to a stop in front of one of the houses, P.J. suffered another bout of nervousness. Which was pretty stupid considering she’d faced gun-wielding maniacs and dodged grenades and countless other explosives plus an entire army of crazy-ass terrorists with machine guns all shooting at her.

  She didn’t wait for Cole to come around to help her. It suddenly seemed important that she could make it on her own and that she wouldn’t show any weakness.

  It nearly killed her to put her injured leg down and put weight on it, but she gritted her teeth and used the door for leverage as she got out.

  Before she and Cole made it to the front of the vehicle, Sam met them at the steps to his house.

  He gave P.J. a long, assessing look. “How are you?” he asked quietly.

  She swallowed. Okay, this was definitely awkward. She really didn’t want to get into any particulars with Sam. She cleared her throat of the knot forming. “I’m fine. Cole’s taking good care of me.”

  “Sophie and the others are around back on the patio playing with Charlotte. Can you make it or do you need help?”

  “I’m fine,” P.J. muttered again.

  Her damnable pride was rearing its ugly head again, but she was not going to ask her boss for help. He was likely pissed off enough at her as it was. She’d probably caused him enough grief for an entire year.

  She limped toward the gate that would take her around to the back of the house. It made her a total chickenshit that she wanted Cole with
her, and she knew he’d come if only she asked. But this was supposed to be for her. Cole had gone to a lot of trouble, and she didn’t want to let him down. She didn’t want to let herself down.

  She hesitated when she heard a child’s shriek of laughter and the accompanying laughter from the adults. She stood at the corner, watching the blond-haired little imp run after a golden retriever puppy while the women sat on the steps of the deck watching with big smiles on their faces.

  They didn’t look like women who’d undergone the same kind of shit P.J. had been through, even though she knew differently. P.J. had been a part of each mission that had brought these women back home where they belonged. And they’d all endured their own version of hell. They were survivors. They were fierce. And shit, it killed her to admit it, but they intimidated her because she didn’t feel like she measured up. Especially after her freak-out last night.

  She continued to watch from a distance, her gut tightening more with each passing moment. Of the four women, P.J. knew the least about Sarah. She was quieter and more withdrawn than the others. It always made P.J. grin that Garrett stayed in trouble with her over his potty mouth and was forever slipping up when she wasn’t around.

  Cole had told her that she’d been raped before she and Garrett had met and that Sarah’s brother had killed the man responsible. P.J. had silently cheered him on, even back then before her own attack had happened.

  A man couldn’t be all bad if he was willing to take out the monster responsible for hurting his sister.

  P.J. most identified with Sophie, Sam’s wife. She was a fighter. Even five months pregnant and running for her life, she’d kicked some pretty serious ass. Hell, she’d even shot her own father. That took some balls.

  But Rachel was also a resilient, kick-ass survivor in her own quiet way. Of all of them, she’d endured the most for the longest. A year in hell. One P.J. couldn’t even begin to imagine or fathom. What Rachel had suffered made what P.J. had experienced seem insignificant in comparison. P.J. had worried that Rachel may not ever fully recover. P.J. had been there when Ethan had carried her out of the jungle. She’d seen Rachel at her lowest point. But she’d come a long way from that frightened, powerless victim she’d been, and she’d made great strides thanks to the support network around her.

  P.J. was envious of that if she was honest with herself. Every single Kelly would lay down his life for her or any of the other Kelly women. No hesitation. No regrets.

  She was so absorbed in her analysis of the women that she failed to notice Sophie walking her way until the other woman was directly in front of her.

  “Hi, P.J.,” Sophie said with a smile. “Cole said you were coming over. I’m very happy you did.”

  P.J.’s palms were damp but she resisted the urge to wipe them down her pants. She managed a convincing smile back.

  “Er, thanks for having me. I mean, it was nice of you guys to put your day on hold.”

  Sophie waved her hand. “Come on over. The only part of the day we put on hold was the opening of the wine. Now that you’re here, we’re going to remedy that.” She finished with a genuine, warm smile that made P.J. relax and lose some of the awful tension in her gut.

  She limped behind Sophie and found herself the object of scrutiny of the other three women as they watched her approach. Sure enough, as Sophie had said, there was a wine bottle and glasses on the patio table.

  It reeked of a girly social. All that was missing was a teapot, some cute little mini sandwiches with the crusts cut off and some funky dip that looked like a cat puked in the bowl.

  P.J. was more used to beer, bad music and even worse company. It surprised the hell out of her that she was actually starting to think this wasn’t going to be such a bad afternoon. It might even be . . . fun.

  “Here’s P.J., finally home,” Sophie said. “She’s going to hang out with us today while she’s recovering. I figure she needs a break from Cole by now.” She turned back to P.J. “We’ve all been so worried about you.”

  P.J. started to defend Cole, but she realized the other woman was simply teasing her. She shrugged off any remaining reluctance and offered a hesitant but genuine smile in the other women’s directions. They’d worried about her? They’d actually known she was gone? P.J. couldn’t imagine the overprotective Kellys allowing their women to know a whole lot about what went on with KGI. She wouldn’t have imagined that they would have known she’d left, much less worried over that fact.

  “Hi, P.J.,” Shea offered, a broad smile widening her pretty features.

  “How’s your leg?” Rachel asked in a soft voice. “Ethan said you were shot.”

  P.J. looked down with a rueful smile. “It’s not too bad. A clean through and through. Could have been much worse. I’ll be back in action soon.”

  Sarah shuddered. “I don’t see how you can live with the constant danger. And you’re so casual about being shot!”

  “Just part of the job,” P.J. said easily. “It’s something you get used to.”

  “Well, come and sit,” Sophie insisted. “Get off that leg. You need to have your feet up. Let me get you a glass of wine. I’ve told Sam to go find something to do and for the men not to bother us today. They’re probably somewhere cowering in fear of what evil plan we’re hatching.”

  P.J. allowed herself to be ushered into one of the chairs, and then Shea dragged another over so she could put her leg up.

  A sudden thought occurred to P.J., one that alarmed her, and she glanced up at Shea, her brow furrowed. “You aren’t going to do any of that mind-meld stuff to help my leg, are you? I know how much that hurts you, so don’t even think about it.”

  Shea blinked for a moment and then burst out laughing. “Mind meld. That’s a new word for it. And to answer your question, no. I’m afraid my gift is random. I can’t connect to people at will. My sister can, but I can’t.”

  P.J. felt embarrassed at just blurting it out like that, but the last thing she wanted was for Shea to take on her pain. It would piss Nathan off and cause a big fuss. Not to mention, P.J. had witnessed firsthand just how much suffering it caused Shea when she helped others with her extraordinary gift. It was her injury and she could deal with it.

  Shea and her sister, Grace, who was with Rio, the other team leader, had unique abilities that defied scientific explanation. There was a whole bizarre story behind it, involving experiments and pairing certain couples with supernatural abilities together to see what offspring they produced. Shea and Grace had been two such experiments that had managed to escape and break free from the people who wanted to harness and use their abilities for their own purposes.

  The whole thing was beyond P.J.’s scope of understanding. She wouldn’t have believed any of it if she hadn’t seen for herself the results of one of those mind-melding sessions.

  It reminded her of her charismatic religious upbringing and the whole idea of faith healing. None of it made any sense to her.

  “How is Grace?” P.J. asked, directing her question at Shea. “And Elizabeth? How is she adjusting? Do you get to see them often?”

  Shea smiled ruefully. “Not as much as I’d like, but that mind-meld thing is better than a cell phone. I can talk to her whenever I want, so it makes the times I can’t see her not seem so bad. And Elizabeth is such a darling. Way too old for her age. She’s had to grow up so fast, but Grace and Rio both love her so much already.”

  “I’ll admit, it was hard to picture Rio as a daddy,” P.J. said, a crook in her lip. “He’s so intense and broody. But he also has a soft spot a mile wide, so I guess it’s not so out of the realm of believability. I’m glad they’re doing well, though. The last time I saw either of them was at your wedding.”

  Shea’s entire face lit up, her smile dazzling. She exchanged smiles with Sarah, with whom she’d shared a wedding. It had been the Kelly lovefest that had sent P.J. to her seedy bar in Denver in a funk. Now she realized she’d just been jealous and lonely.

  It made her wince to admit th
at she’d actually been jealous of all the love and support of the huge Kelly family, but she was brutally honest with herself. Well, when she wasn’t in denial . . .

  Sarah poured her a glass of wine and handed it across the table to P.J. but then drew up short just as P.J. reached for it.

  “You haven’t taken any pain medication, have you? We didn’t even think about that. You have to be in a lot of pain and we should have had the sense not to plan wine.”

  P.J. smiled at Sarah’s genuine worry. “I’m drug free. No need to worry that I’ll be stoned after a glass of wine. My last dose was yesterday evening. I’m trying not to take it unless I have to or Cole makes me.”

  The others laughed.

  “If Cole’s anything like our husbands, and I’m sure he’s just as much an alpha, hardheaded male, then you have your hands full,” Rachel said with a rueful smile.

  “He’s been great,” P.J. said softly.

  She lowered her gaze when the other women shared a smug smile, and she sipped idly at her wine, wondering when one of them was going to bring up the delicate situation that was essentially the elephant in the room. And her reason for being here in the first place.

  She watched as Sophie scooped three-year-old Charlotte into a hug and then tickled the toddler’s tummy until she shrieked with laughter.

  P.J. had to admit that Charlotte was a complete cutie-pie. She almost made P.J. long for sweet-smelling babies and sweet little belly laughs. Almost.

  There had been a time when P.J. had considered that she was ready to settle down, have a baby or two and do the whole American pie-and-picket-fence thing. Derek had quickly dissuaded her of that notion.

  He hadn’t wanted children, and moreover, he didn’t want marriage. He thought it was an outdated, old-fashioned concept and that in the modern world, it made no sense for a man to commit to one woman.

  Okay, so he was a complete dickhead. She knew that then even if she hadn’t immediately given him his walking papers.