A Family Come True

by Kris Fletcher

  “Here’s what I think about you and Carter and Darcy and your gut. I think maybe you need to listen to it. Maybe what it’s telling you is that you have to fix the family you have if you want to have a shot with the one you want to make.”

  “But what if I’m wrong? What if I wrecked everything?”

  “Could you be any more miserable than you are now?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Then this is what I think about that.”

  He braced himself.

  “Surely a blacksmith knows that the only way to make things turn the way you want is to shove them into the fire.”

  * * *

  DARCY’S TALK WITH Xander didn’t happen.

  His quick run to the grocery store turned into a long afternoon of frustration when his car refused to start in the parking lot. Darcy had food for Cady, but Nonny’s pantry was sparse. By the time Xander got the car straightened out and made it back to the house, Darcy was well into the evening routine. Bath, bottle, blankie, boom—and Cady wasn’t the only one who was exhausted.

  “I know I promised we’d talk,” she said as she wolfed down a grilled cheese sandwich. “But honestly, Xander, I don’t think I could even remember my name at the moment.”

  His standing as a father went up about seventy points on her chart when he hesitated only briefly before nodding. “Tomorrow, then.”

  “Tomorrow,” she agreed, and showed him how to jiggle the temperamental handle in the bathroom before dropping into her bed. Her second to last conscious thought was that Cady’s father was sleeping in her dad’s room.

  Her last thought was to wonder if Ian was alone in the bed they’d shared, reaching for her the way she already found herself reaching for him.

  She slept the sleep of exhausted motherhood, deep and dreamless, and didn’t open her eyes again until she was pulled awake by the sound of Cady bellowing. She was glad for both the rest and the hours of not thinking. But snoozing late meant she wasn’t showered and dressed when Cady woke her, which meant she was already five steps behind all morning, which meant she was still in her nightgown, about to press Xander into duty, when Nonny walked in.

  And with that first glimpse of the beloved tight silver curls and brick-shaped body, Darcy fell apart.

  It was as though some giant permission switch had been thrown. One moment she was on the steps juggling Cady, and the next her head was buried in Nonny’s shoulder and she could scarcely breathe for the sobs clawing their way out of her.

  Nonny was here. In some small corner of her brain she was aware that she had questions and confusion, but right now, Nonny was here.

  At some point they moved to the sofa and sat down. She was vaguely aware of Cady pulling up on her knee and whimpering until Xander appeared, mumbled a rough “’Morning” and stumbled outside with her. With that she leaned into Nonny’s embrace and cried even harder, all while Nonny did nothing more than rub Darcy’s back and hand her tissues.

  When Darcy was able to speak, she wiped her eyes and blew her nose and managed a choking kind of laugh. “Welcome home.”

  “Believe it or not, it truly is.” Nonny’s groan as she patted Darcy’s hand and pushed herself off the sofa was the kind guaranteed to inspire guilt of the most extreme kind.

  “I didn’t mean... I didn’t think I would...”

  “Darcy Elizabeth, don’t you dare apologize for being human and needy.” She pushed the hair from Darcy’s damp face. “Believe you me, I’d rather have you crying all over me than ignoring me.”

  “Oh.” Darcy squeezed the ball of damp tissues in her hand. “Nonny, before anything else, I’m sorry. I... When I told you I was pregnant, I got the feeling that you, well, didn’t approve. Because I wasn’t married, or, you know, even with Cady’s father. Not that I bothered telling you who he was. But don’t feel bad about that, because I didn’t tell anyone.”

  “I don’t—”

  Darcy shook her head. “Wait. The thing is...it didn’t really matter what you said or did. Because I was the one who was disappointed in myself and angry with myself. So when you didn’t fall all over me with excitement, well, it was a lot easier to tell myself that you disapproved than to admit that I was reading what I wanted into it.” She frowned. “Did that make any sense at all?”

  “Enough for me to follow, even after flying across three time zones. And don’t you try to apologize about that, either, because I would have had to make the flight sometime. I would much rather do it knowing that you and my great-granddaughter were waiting for me.”

  “I can’t believe I wouldn’t let myself turn to you for so long,” Darcy said as she wiped her eyes. “Of all the boneheaded things I’ve done...”

  “It would only be boneheaded if you kept at it once you knew the truth.”

  “You’re being way too understanding.”

  “Darcy, these days, my friends are dropping like flies. I can’t afford to hold a grudge. There might never be time to make things right again.” She paused before adding softly, “That’s something better learned early than late. Not that I have any particular reason for mentioning it, of course.”

  Darcy closed her eyes. “You talked to Moxie this morning, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. The minute we landed and I turned on my phone, it went crazy with messages. She gave me the whole lowdown.” Nonny cracked her familiar grin. “I have to say, much as I don’t like trying to keep up with all the gadgets and such these days, it’s mighty nice to be able to get the gossip while you’re still taxiing to the gate.”

  It was the first laugh that felt real since she’d been in the kitchen with Brynn and Taylor.

  “Come on.” Nonny headed for the kitchen. “I don’t know about you, but I could use some coffee. Didn’t dare drink any before I left the airport, ’cause then I woulda had to stop every half hour, but I’m way past due.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Should I make some for— It’s Xander, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Too late, Darcy saw the situation through her grandmother’s eyes. “Nonny, you know that Xander and I never— Well, yes, once. That’s why Cady’s here, but we’re not together.”

  “Breathe, girl. Moxie told me that part, too. I’m looking forward to really meeting him, but for now...” She peered through the window to the backyard. Xander lay facedown on the grass and Cady crawled over him. “For now, I think we’ll leave him be while I finish talking to you. So, what’s this about you and Ian telling everyone some story that turned out to be true?”

  Even if Darcy had wanted to answer, she couldn’t have. Her throat tightened to the point where no sound could emerge.

  Nonny sighed. “That’s about what I thought.”

  She forced herself to breathe, hating the sound that accompanied her inhalation but unable to stop it. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure.” Nonny looked slightly shamefaced. “Moxie and I might have had some thoughts about this when we told him to rent your apartment.”

  “Wait. What? You were trying to set us up? When he had just been dumped, and I was still with Jonathan?”

  “We weren’t trying to force anything. But the hope was always there. Not a big hope, mind you, but it was there.”

  “I’m sorry we let you down.” Darcy bit her lip before moving to the stove and pulling out a frying pan. “I haven’t eaten yet. Have you?”

  “I could use an egg. And who’s to say you let us down?”

  This laugh was nothing like the last one. “Well, I’m here, he’s there, and after the things we said and did...”

  “You mean you had your first fight?” Nonny sounded so completely not dismayed that Darcy had to double-check to ensure she’d heard right.

  “I guess you could call it that. But we...” She pulled the carton of eggs from the fridge. “The thing is, I thought I knew him. Better than anyone else except maybe you and Mom and Cady. And then he went behind my back and told Xander he should live in the apartme
nt—”

  “And you’re upset over that? It sounds like a capital idea to me.”

  “I— Okay. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, he’s right. It is. But he shouldn’t have done it without talking to me first.”

  “Does he love Cady?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Did you ever have a talk with someone and think of something and blurt it out before you should have?”

  “Okay, now I really feel like an idiot.” She cracked the egg against the pan. Oops. One yolk, busted. “But it’s not just that. I’ve been thrown by everything that happened with Xander showing up, and I’m trying to put the brakes on, not to stop things but to slow them down. But meanwhile, Ian has been pushing me to accommodate Xander, and I feel like someone threw me in the washing machine and hit the spin cycle.”

  “I can see how that would leave you feeling extra flustered. But here’s something you need to remember, Darcy. He grew up in that big family. He’s used to juggling lots of people and demands. You, not so much.” Nonny poured water into the coffeemaker. “Nobody’s saying you need to start moving at light speed, and when it comes to Cady, yes, you need to be cautious. But it might not hurt to take some lessons from him.”

  Darcy stared at the eggs, her own misery snapping in time with the hot butter in the pan. “You’re saying I blew it.”

  “I’m saying you had a hell of a week and you wanted to stop the spinning, but you maybe grabbed the wrong thing.”

  “I could buy that. Except—” she peeked out the window in time to see Cady and Xander sticking their tongues out at each other “—it almost always feels that way, you know? Ever since she was born. Not just the busyness. I get that. But I never feel like I’m doing it right.”

  “And you honestly believe there’s ever been a parent who feels they are?”

  “My head tells me, no, of course not. But some folks just seem so natural at it. You. The Norths. My dad. I do a good job with Cady, but it never feels like I just know what to do. Some things are automatic now, thank heaven, but there’s so much I don’t know. And it’s not the stuff like when she should stop having a bedtime bottle. It’s the big things.”

  “Like whether or not her father should be around?”

  “Like whether I can give her a solid life, like I had when Daddy was alive.” She poked at the eggs with a spatula. “Or whether having a family where Mommy lives here and Daddy lives here and Daddy’s friends are all on parole and Mommy really wants to be—”

  But it didn’t matter what Mommy wanted. That had been lost in a flood of angry words.

  “Darcy.” Nonny sat at the small white table with a muffled groan that sent Darcy’s guilt level soaring. “When it comes to building a family, no one knows what the hell they’re doing. And that’s okay. Half of being a good parent is pretending you’re not scared out of your tree.”

  “Let me guess. The other half is love?”

  “Nope. Though, of course, that’s important.” Nonny grinned over her mug. “The other half is stubbornness or persistence or whatever you want to call it. Refusing to give up when things are rough. Hanging in there because you’re pretty sure it’s going to get better. Knowing that these people are your life, and that being with them, no matter what it takes, is better than being without them.”

  “Are you saying it doesn’t matter if I make a mess of things with Cady?” She frowned at the uneven, broken eggs in the pan. “Like a worse mess than these?”

  “Of course it matters. But the thing is, child, the good Lord gave you a head, a heart and a gut. As long as you’re listening to all of them, you’re going to do okay.” She forked up a bite of egg from the plate Darcy set in front of her. “I know you want to give Cady a wonderful life. Every parent does. And by the way, no matter what your mother tells you, Paul was not a perfect father, and your world wasn’t all hunky-dory before he died.”

  Darcy’s butt hit the chair a bit more forcefully than she’d intended, probably due to the sudden wobble in her knees.

  “I know she’s told you stories about him and the things he did with you,” Nonny said. “Most of it has some truth. But she’s... Well, I won’t say she’s twisted things. But she’s definitely working from a script that I wouldn’t recognize.”

  “But why?”

  Nonny snorted, then coughed and thumped her chest. “Huh. Darcy, your mother and I come from very different worlds. I never understood her, not even when Paul was still with us. I hoped things would get better after you arrived, but I never did warm up to her, so I’m not the one to get inside her mind, you know? She made Paul happy. That was all I cared about. Drove him half out of his head most of the time, too, but it’s like I said—for him, being with her was worth it.”

  “Then why—”

  “Hang on, girl. I’m getting to that part.” She sighed and forked up more eggs. “Sylvie is a storyteller. It’s not just her job, it’s how she gets through her life. She and Paul were like gas and matches, but she did love him. After he died...I’m not sure, but I think she wanted you to remember him in the best way possible. So she told you stories. And stories need a good guy, right? So that’s what he became.” She sighed. “You think you don’t know what to do? Sylvie had you beat, hands down. I think that when she told you things about Paul, it was her way of figuring out what she should be doing. And since it was her, she needed everything to be as perfect as she could make it.”

  Oh, yeah. That sounded like Sylvie.

  “Did Daddy really cut my hair with pruning shears?”

  “Ha! Who told you about that? Was it Moxie?”

  “No. Actually, it was Robert.”

  “That makes sense. Yep, he did it. It was your last day here, and there wasn’t time to get you to the hairdresser and fix it up before you went back home. Sylvie wasn’t happy.” Nonny’s shrug was evidence of how little Sylvie’s opinion meant to her. “It was just hair. It grew back. And, Darcy, that’s the thing about being a parent, or a friend or even a wife. There are very few things that can’t be fixed, no matter how scary they look at the time.”

  Darcy let the words seep into her while staring out the window. At Cady...at Cady’s father...and at the empty space where Ian should have been standing.

  “I know you want to make her life as strong and wonderful as you can, Darcy.” Nonny’s hand covered her own. “But the rest of the world isn’t steady and perfect, you know? You can try to protect her from all the hurt and confusion. Or you can teach her how to find her own steadiness no matter what life throws at her.”

  “And how do I do that?”

  “By living that way yourself.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  DARCY CARRIED THE MUG of coffee across the backyard, moving slowly to avoid slopping it onto her hand. She’d be damned if she’d made it this far only to be stopped by a rogue burn.

  “Is that for me?” The hope in Xander’s eyes was almost pathetic.

  “Indeed. Here. You sit and enjoy. I’ll take Bug watch.”

  “Darce, don’t take this the wrong way, but right at this minute I really love you.”

  “Since that was how I felt when you appeared in the middle of my sobfest, I think you’ll understand when I say that the feeling is mutual.”

  She reached into her pocket and grabbed the spoons she’d tucked in there, handing them to Cady as she sat beside her.

  “Why are your pants wet?”

  “The grass hadn’t dried when we first came out. Cady needed someplace warm and dry to climb.”

  She remembered him lying prone while Cady clambered all over him. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Yeah, and maybe someday I won’t be that dense again. But I was still half asleep and she needed something to keep her happy while you weren’t around. So I got a little cold.” He shrugged. “Nothing that can’t be fixed with a hot shower and some excellent coffee.”

  If she’d had any lingering doubts over what she was about to say, those words blew them out t
he window.

  “I want you to move into the garage apartment, Xander.”

  The sputtering sound was so unlike his usual cool that she couldn’t keep from snickering.

  “Seriously?” It came out in three gasps and a gulp.

  “Very seriously. And before you aspirate any more coffee and we have to rush you to the ER, let me explain everything.”

  He blinked and nodded. She mock-tugged one spoon from a giggling Cady.

  “We didn’t set out to lie to you,” she began, taking him through the entire course of events. Well, everything except how she and Ian had managed to turn make-believe into reality, at least for a little while. She would need to share many things with Xander in the years ahead. This wasn’t one of them.

  When she was finished, he spent long seconds studying the clouds in his coffee.

  “I’ll be honest, Darce. I wish you’d been up front from the start. We’re going to have enough of a challenge to do right by her as it is without throwing mind games into the mix.”

  “You’re right.”

  “That said, I can see where you’re coming from. In your shoes, I might have done the same thing.” He paused before adding gently, “And in Ian’s shoes? Yeah. Absolutely.”

  “Thanks.” Gratitude thickened her voice. “That’s probably more than we deserve.”

  “Yeah, well, you gave me something pretty amazing. I figure I owe you.”

  “Um, I didn’t exactly give Cady to you,” she said with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure you had almost as much to do with her being here as I did.”

  “Darce. You gave me a chance. You might have been dragged into it kicking and screaming, but you’re doing it. You’ll never know how much that means to me.”

  “You’re giving me too much credit, Xander.” She pulled the spoon from Cady’s mouth. “Ian is the one you need to thank for that.”

  “Oh, paying him back is gonna be easy. All I have to do is let him keep Lulu.” He tickled Cady’s tummy with his toes. “And make sure he knows that I’m not trying to replace him in Cady’s life.”

  Loneliness cut her, sharp and deep. “Well, the problem with that is I’m not so sure he wants me in his life anymore. Cady, probably. But me?” She traced a slow line down Cady’s nose. “I’m not so sure.”