Beauty and the Book Boyfriend

by K. M. Galvin

  The gentle current welcomes it, pulling forward before beckoning it out further away. It’s still dark enough that the light from the flames flicker against the water. I sink to the sand, tugging Caleb down beside me.

  “We don’t have time to linger,” he protests, but settles next to me with his arm thrown around my shoulder.

  “We’ll be fine,” I assure him; after all, he was the model. What were they going to do without him? “Look! There it goes.”

  The flames completely engulf the top; it’s all wood and paper after all. Soon, fire meets water and there’s nothing left to burn. I exhale slowly, gratefully and turn to kiss Caleb’s jaw.

  “Feel better?” he asks, pushing some wisps of hair that came loose from my ponytail back from my face.

  “Yes, thank you.” I stand, dusting the sand off my butt and offer him a hand.

  He lifts a brow, but allows me to help him up. “You ready to leave right now?”

  I look down at myself: casual and fresh faced, my everyday attire. “Yeah?”

  Caleb shakes his head and kisses me. “Let’s go then.”

  “Caleb, do I need to change?” I tug on his hand. I have nicer clothes, but I didn’t think-

  “No, you look beautiful. Forget I said anything.” He leads me up the path so I can’t see his face.

  The only “photo-shoot” I’ve ever been to, if you can call it that, is the one we did for the posters. Which quite literally was me getting into costume and striking the one pose I would allow before shooting Natalie a look. Apparently the art department is very creative with Photoshop.

  Are you supposed to get dolled up for these things? And what does it matter what I look like…

  “Why did you though?” I can’t help it.

  “I’m just used to women putting a lot more time and effort into their appearance,” he says causally.

  I pull up short. “What the hell does that mean?”

  Caleb curses and yanks me to him. “It means, I’m surrounded by women who spend double the amount of time to look how you do and it took you maybe five minutes? I’m not used to it. I love it.”

  I pick at the edge of my shorts self-consciously. “Maybe I should change.”

  “Dammit,” Caleb swears before savaging my mouth in a passionate kiss. He grips my head firmly so I’m helpless to move. I can only taste him, feel him. I want him as he decimates any thought of insecurity from my mind. He rips his mouth from mine before pressing kisses to my nose, cheeks, and eyelids. “Don’t doubt how beautiful you are to me. How much I want you. Can’t you feel it? Don’t I show you, tell you, enough?”

  I let out a shaky breath and nod. “Always so dramatic.”

  Caleb laughs softly before taking my hand to resume our trek back up to the house and his car. “Something has to get through that thick skull of yours.”

  I HATE IT.

  Way more than I thought I would. Possibly more than Caleb.

  How could he stand all these strangers touching him?

  We were here for five minutes before they told him to strip. As in get naked. In front of a room full of people. Granted, no one but I was looking. The entire warehouse loft where we are shooting is buzzing with action. People running about, barking orders, and racks of clothing that nearly knock me on my ass.

  We aren’t the only shoot going on today, which is most likely why we were able to get this place so cheap. Shared costs.

  “You need to fix your face,” Natalie says behind her clipboard, staring as they rub oil on Caleb’s chest. Thankfully after obliging no questions asked to the “strip!” order, they had him in briefs.

  “He’s like a puppet,” I growl under my breath. “We weren’t even here five minutes before he’s stripped and oiled.”

  Natalie grabs my hand and leads me away from the few heads that had turned to see what animal started to growl in the corner. “Look, you need to calm down. It’s only going to get worse when the female model comes in.”

  “Why is he only in underwear?”

  “He’ll be in leather pants,” she assures me, and I chew on my nail.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.” I’m weak. I’m a jealous, territorial idiot.

  “Caleb has already looked over here several times. He keeps checking on you. If you leave, he’ll be even more distracted. Just… just suck it up. I know it’s the worst, but he’s leaving with you.”

  I roll my eyes. ”That’s such a tiny part of what’s going on. This entire thing is such utter crap. And now I have to watch my man get pawed by some chick while he’s greased up.”

  Natalie pats my shoulder. “For such a small part of the problem, it sure seems to be the only thing you can talk about.”

  “Oh! Go fudge yourself,” I hiss, but smile brightly when Caleb heads our way. “Do not mention I’m having a hard time,” I say through my smile.

  “Don’t worry, it reads all over your face,” she grits out through her matching smile.

  “Why do you both look like psychos?” Caleb asks, brows furrowing.

  “Why do you look like a Turkish wrestler?” I retort.

  “What?” he laughs hesitantly.

  “Look it up.” I cross my arms over my chest and stare as the female model comes out of the dressing room. Well, a sheet strung up in the corner of a room, but still. Why does she get to change in there but Caleb has to flash a room full of people?

  Caleb follows my eye line. “That’s Maria.”

  “Hmm. Maria.” I nod slowly and clench my toes to prevent my foot from tapping. I’m dangerously close to looking like a nagging wife.

  “She’s nice,” he says gently and waves a hand in front of my face, but my eyes are locked on Maria.

  She has on black jeans tucked into black shit kicking boots, a white tank top with leather holster, a gun belt around her hips, and her hair is loose and wild around her shoulders. Her make up is tasteful and natural except for her lips, which are a deep merlot.

  She looks exactly like Makyla. Or at least very, very close to.

  She’s stunning and sexy.

  And I really fucking feel the Toms I’m wearing with the lightweight hoodie and raggedy shorts. My ponytail is starting to slip so I tighten it and I know it most likely looks like a mess. Ask me if I brushed it before I threw it up.

  Nope.

  And make up?

  I swipe a finger across Caleb’s chest, right over his heart, and rub it on my lips. There, now I’ve got some lip-gloss on.

  Smacking my lips a little, I grimace at the taste. “You are showering for at least an hour before coming near me. Nasty.”

  “That was the plan. I didn’t think you’d be eating it off me,” he says, amused.

  I glance at him under my lashes before returning to Maria. Quite contrary. No one named Maria should look like that. We should switch looks. I certainly wasn’t living up to my unusual first name.

  “Stop comparing yourself to her. Remember they found someone who looks like you, like Makyla.”

  “I don’t want her touching you,” I blurt out and then wince. God, jealousy is for the birds. Let me go back to unfeeling where it’s nice and calm. Or angry where everyone is at a distance.

  Caleb gets as close as he can without touching me. “It’s all pretend. In my mind, you’ll be with me up there. It’s you touching me, and you I’m touching. Not her. Stay where I can see you.”

  He moves towards Susan and the photographer. They chat and Susan waves a smiling Maria over. I watch as they interact and Caleb grins. It’s genuine and I hate it. Ugh, come on, Bell.

  I rub my hands roughly over my forehead. “I kinda hate myself right now.”

  Natalie, finally looking up from her clipboard, grabs my hand. “Let’s go sit over here. He wants to be able to see you. You’re right by the way.”

  I have to physically stop myself from saying “always” like a total smartass. Who doesn’t revert to being a smart ass when they’re uncomfortable? Isn’t that how everyone handles their f
eelings? No? Huh, screw all you well adjusted folks then.

  “About what?” We move to the back of the room, slightly shadowed. To be honest, everything is slightly shadowed compared to the steel suns they were pointing at the “stage” where Caleb and the other one is.

  Other one. Say her name, Bellamy. Be a mature adult. She likely has no interest in—

  “Did she just mess with his hair?” I choke.

  “Rein it in. Look at his face. You’re totally right. He hates this,” Natalie says sadly, and I rip my hateful glare away from the usurper to look at Caleb.

  His smile is too bright. It’s a politician’s smile: fake, pandering and silently counting down the minutes until he’s out of the spotlight and doing what he wants to do. Which is so clearly not this. I have no idea why he’s forced himself to do it for so long.

  But it’s his eyes that bother me the most. Always sparkling with happiness or flashing in anger—most recently darkening in lust. Now, they look dead. No emotion behind them. It is disturbing. It’s like he turned himself off.

  My stomach dips and I see Natalie try to get his attention with a little wave, but he’s not looking over here.

  “Hey Summer!” I shout, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. Caleb’s head whips towards me, finding me unerringly in the back. I grin and wiggle my brows. “Flex for me!”

  Someone snorts a laugh, but most roll their eyes or shake their heads. How do I know this? Twenty sets of eyes are staring right at me. Collectively they judge me to be ridiculous and go back to their very important jobs—cough, I’m so sure, cough—but it doesn’t matter. None of it does, except for the real smile that appears on his stupidly beautiful face. Dimples, laugh lines, and eyebrows half up his forehead in surprise. It’s the first honest reaction I’ve seen him have since we left the rental this morning.

  I don’t like this fake Caleb that uses his beauty. It’s ugly. It hides the true beauty inside; the Caleb that shows me how to jump first and enjoy the feeling of the fall instead of worrying about the impact. Ok, I still worry about the impact, but at least I’m jumping.

  He shakes his head at me but lifts one of his arms and flexes for me, biceps bulging nicely. I giggle, giving him a thumbs up.

  His eyes don’t leave me when the director speaks to them, and Susan comes over to explain the concept. They don’t leave me when him and her are moved in front of the green screen, nor when the music—some erotic trap song with a heavy bass I can feel in my toes—starts.

  I hold his gaze, realizing I’m the anchor for once.

  The art director calls out direction and Caleb moves behind the model, sliding his arm around her waist, lifting the white tank a little to show a swatch of her taut stomach. I bite my lip to keep from wincing, but then arrange my features back to a neutral expression when I see his mouth tighten in displeasure and as he takes a step back from Maria.

  He’s watching my reactions to his movements. If I don’t like something he won’t do it. Sweet really, but it’s going to piss off everyone and we’ll be here all damn day. I nod imperceptibly and Caleb resumes his position, his eyes on mine. I could pretend she’s me. It’s my waist his arm is hooked around. My shoulders leaning against his chest. My long black hair sliding down his arm.

  Caleb drops his head, his mouth grazing her neck. My neck. My spot. He knows what I’m doing. Maria’s eyes flutter and her head falls back. The director has stopped giving direction; the photographer and the music are the only ones making any noise.

  The energy in the room shifts as Caleb starts to seduce.

  The music changes to something darker, the beat heavy and low, thickening the mood in the room. The words languorous, and while I’m not paying attention to what the singer is saying, the rise and fall of her voice draw me in and out. I find myself swaying, moving for him.

  If we were alone I’d remove my clothing, but we’re not and another girl is in my place, so making him want it so badly it hurts will have to suffice.

  I can see the increase rhythm of his breathing, muscles expanding and contracting, with the want to come to me, but the need to stay where he is. I smile smugly and tilt my head in challenge.

  What would you do to me? Show me.

  Seeming to understand the challenge I threw down, Caleb spins Maria and lifts her into his arms so her legs are wrapped around his body. I hear Natalie gasp from somewhere next to me, but like everyone in the room, she is riveted to the couple moving to the makeshift bed in the corner of the wall where the green screen ends.

  This is me. He’s showing me what he wants. She’s nothing.

  It’s a litany in my mind that I repeat as I walk along the wall, threading my way through people so I stay in his line of vision. He lays her down, head at the end of the bed, and quickly glances at the photographer who looks nearly orgasmic as he snaps photo after photo.

  Caleb crawls over her—careful to only make it appear as if they were intimately touching—and I wonder briefly how much practice he’s had at faking sex or if he bothered to fake it before? Maria’s legs cradle him and she arches her back, emoting her ecstasy for the camera.

  How this has anything to do with my books I have no idea, but Susan looks thrilled.

  I move to stand behind the photographer so Caleb’s gaze is in camera view.

  “Great! Great. Clutch her to you. Maria, throw your head back. He just thrust into you, let me see it,” the photographer coaches, oblivious to my open mouth gaping.

  I choke back my indignation and focus back on the couple. I’m no longer able to pretend that’s me on the bed. This scene is too familiar and I’m too conscious of the fact that I’m standing right here while my—my whatever he is mimics fucking a stranger that looks like me.

  I break eye contact and move back to Natalie.

  “This sucks,” I say unnecessarily.

  She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “If it makes you feel any better, any emotion that he was giving left his face the second you turned your back.”

  “Yeah, it doesn’t. His dick is still against her so he can be as emotionless as he wants. Doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

  “Look—“ she begins, but is cut off by the angry voice of the director.

  “Take a break. We’ll take solo shots of Maria. While you’re taking five, remember you’re here to do a good job. If I wanted a blank face, I’d go grab that card board cut out I saw on the way in.”

  Natalie winces and grabs her phone, I presume to text Logan to get his butt over here. I guess taking a day off from Model Caleb is too much to ask. Speaking of the troublemaker, he storms off stage and stalks towards me. The furious expression on his face has me backing up, running into the doorknob behind me. I wince and rub my back, my eyes widening when Caleb looms closer but does not slow.

  He reaches out and turns the offending doorknob, looping an arm around me when I begin to stumble backwards, walking me back as he moves forward. He slams the door behind us and I realize we’re in a bathroom when he flips the light on. The music on the other side of the door does nothing to drown out his harsh breathing, but I hold still, unsure of how to deal with him in this mood.

  “Turn around,” he commands in a voice that brooks no argument. I find myself obeying immediately and take in the picture of us staring back from the large vanity mirror.

  His upper body eclipses mine and I feel dainty in comparison. I watch as Caleb grabs my ponytail and tugs back gently so I’m looking up at him.

  “Did you think for one second I wanted her?” he asks harshly, and I’m afraid to answer. I shake my head “no” and his grip tightens. “Do you know how insulting it is to have the one person in the room who knows me believe the lie. The fucking mask. That faceless piece of—“

  “Hey!” I cut in, worried. I loop my arm around his neck and force his cheek to mine. “Stop. Breathe.”

  His eyes close and a shudder rocks his body. Finally his grip loosens and I lean back so my head rests on his chest. “I ha
d your eyes the entire time, Caleb. I may have hated the situation and was jealous of her, but I know you would rather have been anywhere else. I know.”

  “Don’t be jealous of her,” he says quietly, bussing his lips against my temple. I laugh softly.

  “Oh well since you say not to… it doesn’t work like that. Especially since I have no-“ I bite my tongue.

  “No, what?” His eyes meet mine in the mirror and I suck in a breath at the feral look in his. We may be talking, but I know it’s a false sense of security. He’s going to pounce soon and my thighs clench in anticipation.

  “Claim to you,” I finish, heat rising to my cheeks in embarrassment.

  Caleb lets out a sharp bark of laughter before caging me in around the sink. I use my hands to gripe the sides for balance; his obvious erection a steel rod digging into my backside causing heat to flood me.

  “Is that what you want?” He palms my ass and leans into me. “To claim me? Let everyone in that room know who I belong to? Who owns me? Do you want Maria to smell you on me?”

  Something primal unfurls inside me and I lick my lips as I hold his gaze as he drags his teeth slowly over my pulse. “Yes.”

  CALEB REACHES AROUND MY FRONT and unbuttons my shorts. “There have been many times I’m unable to look in the mirror. In the beginning, I loved what my face could do for me. It was a constant fuck you to my family, showing them that I could and did make something of myself. But the more I did, the uglier I became. True ugliness isn’t about what you look like on the outside, it’s all the darkness inside.”

  I’m riveted to the secrets he’s spilling as he touches me.

  “When they offered this job to me, I hated myself so much. Logan convinced me to do this as a last ditch effort to… I don’t know… take a break and find myself? Whatever the reason, I’m so glad because it led me to you.”

  I cover his hand with my own and squeeze. I feel the same way.

  “Our pact forced me outside myself. I’m becoming a better person. I like who I am. I can look in the mirror and see beyond the surface.” He tilts my chin up so I’m looking at our reflection again. His eyes, filled with emotion, hold mine. “Look how beautiful we are.”