by K. M. Galvin
I raise a brow at him. “You’re very creative.”
He shrugs and spreads his hands, a picture of modesty. I snort and sit on the pillow he’s provided as a seat.
“Don’t move. I’ll serve and pour.” He says excitedly and my heart tightens painfully. He’s being so flipping cute!
I hear pots and pans shuffling in the kitchen and turn in time to see him bringing out two plates of spaghetti sans meatballs. He sets a plate in front of me first before placing his on the other side and rushing back to the kitchen to grab a basket of bread and a bowl of salad.
I look take it all in as he pours the wine that was chilling in what looks like a popcorn bowl filled with ice and oddly find my eyes burning with tears. “Summer.” I can only manage to choke out his name.
He stops pouring and looks up at me worried. “What’s wrong? Do you now like this kind of wine? The lady at the store said it was best.”
I shake my head and suck in a breath. “Caleb this is perfect. It looks and smells amazing. I can’t believe you did all this.”
He settles onto his pillow and reaches for my hand. “We haven’t had our first date. Seems a little redundant now, but I wanted to give you this memory.”
A tiny cry escapes me; I stand no chance, none against him. Vegas looms heavily in the forefront of my mind, but when he’s staring at me like this having done all this for me, how can I doubt him for a second?
“You’re too much.” I clear my throat and take the folded piece of paper towel, setting it on my lap.
I ask him to tell me about his friends coming tonight and he’s animated as he speaks. He can be so charming it’s hard to imagine him being a dick on any of his shoots. He tells me about Logan and how he was actually a model before quitting to work from the agency.
“He didn’t like modeling?” I ask.
Caleb shifts uncomfortably. “He developed an eating disorder.”
I nearly drop my fork. “Seriously?”
Caleb nods solemnly. “He got help and he has a much better relationship with food.”
“I would have never known.” I shake my head still in shock.
“Don’t say anything.”
I wave him off. “Of course not. Why did he stay in the business though?”
“It’s all he knows. He started modeling really young, like thirteen. His friend and family are all in this world. He loves what he does now, thrives on telling me what to do. Logan wants to be an agent eventually, but he wants to work his way up.”
“As long as he’s happy.” I frown, pushing my pasta around. Logan is a lot of things, but first and foremost he’s become a friend. Someone my best friend loves which means he’s a part of my family now. I try not to worry and he does seem really happy.
“Blue Bell, don’t worry. He’s ok now, I promise. I’ve got his back and he speaks with a therapist once a week. Those long conference calls he had on the road? That was Sheryl. He’s got a strong support system,” Caleb assures me.
“You don’t—“ Jesus, can I even ask that?
Caleb looks at me knowingly. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. You’ve seen how I eat. You’ve been with me near constantly for the last few months.”
I blow out a relieved breath, then motion with my fork. “Not to be a total ass hole, but can we not talk about this while we eat?”
Caleb bursts out laughing. “Sorry, yes. Heavy topic choice. I actually have some good news I’ve been waiting to share with you.”
I raise a brow encouraging him to continue.
“I uh,” he clears his throat sheepishly, “signed up to take my GED exam.”
“You did?” I can barely contain my excitement.
Caleb nods and takes a gulp of wine. “But I’m not sure what to do after.”
I tilt my head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I know you really want—“
I set my fork down and shove my food away from me. Guess we were finishing that fight. What a great conversationalist. While we’re eating dinner. On our first date. “You really need to stop saying that. I want what you want. Team Leave Us Alone. You keep saying I want this for you, it’s starting to make me wonder if you’re passing off all responsibility for your successes and failures.”
“How do you mean?” he says, mimicking my posture.
I flick my hand towards him as if it’s obvious. “Because if you fail the test or fail at college then you can say you never wanted this. That I pushed you.”
“That’s not what you mean,” he denies instantly, but he crosses his arms over his chest and I’ve watched enough cop shows to know that his ass is on the defensive.
I snort derisively. “Caleb you do the same shit with your parents.”
His brows slam down. “Explain.”
I swallow realizing a little too late that I might have gone a too far. “We don’t need to do this right now. Your friends will be here soon.”
“What a shock, Bellamy is running from conflict.” He gets up from the floor and takes his dish into the kitchen. Ok, guess he’s done eating.
I grab mine and follow him. “I’m not running. I just think maybe we should—“
“Put a pin in it?” He suggests, and I nod hesitantly. “Nope, let’s do this. You opened a can of works there, Bell. Gloves are on, let’s do this.”
I lean against the counter opposite him. “Fine. I mean that so fucking what. You have ADD and your parents were embarrassed. So you drop out of school? That’s there fault? You were old enough to ask for help in school or ask for a school transfer if your parents were afraid the other kids would tattle.”
His face is getting redder by the second but I continue. Gloves are on.
“You made those choices. You also became a model. You say all these people only see the façade you put up and no one takes you seriously. Could that be because you acted like a total dick on shoots? An empty headed pretty face? People generally believe what you tell them about yourself and if you’re going around acting like a douche, guess what? People are going to think you’re douche!”
He nods and god if it’s not the most sarcastic movement I ever witnessed. “You want to talk about shirking all personal responsibility and blaming everyone else? Ok. Hi, my name is Bellamy. I’m a nerd, but my parents can’t relate because they were the prom king and queen in high school. I’m the shy girl and can’t make friends. So I’ll create fake ones and hold up everyone I meet to those fictional people. I’ll keep myself safe from facing rejection again since no one can meet my standards. Arms distance is the best distance.”
I blink rapidly and take a deep breath. “You’re right.”
“I’m what?”
“You’re right. I did hide and keep myself safe from rejection by creating impossible standards. But I’ve changed. I talked to my mom today. She helped me pick out this outfit. For our date. Which you are ruining marvelously.”
Caleb shuffles where he stands, clearly not thinking I’d capitulate so quickly, but he’s right. Everything he said is true and I’ve done nothing but work on it these past few months. With his help. So for him to throw all that in my face now doesn’t seem fair. In fact, it’s pretty damn petty and something Caleb three months ago would have done.
“The problem you have is you think you have to chose, Caleb and that scares you. But you don’t. You don’t have to do anything. If you like the way your life is, awesome. If you don’t, then do something. You are the only one who can make you happy.”
Caleb hangs his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I want.”
His quiet, honest confession cuts me open and I want to leave. I want to leave, go find my bed and cry. But this is life and when it gets hard, you don’t cower like a little bitch. You slap your gloves on and fight it out.
I shrug and move forward, drawing him into a hug. “No one said you have to know.”
“I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore,” he admits so quietly, and it breaks my heart completely
. I squeeze him harder and kiss his chest, right over his big, stupid heart.
“Worry about yourself. Either people will fall in line or they won’t. The people who truly care about you only want what’s best for you.”
“I’m sorry I ruined our first date.”
“Eh. Our first date. Our first real fight. First home cooked meal. Knocked out a couple milestones. It’s not a total loss, Summer.” I force lightness into my tone and lean back to smile brightly at him.
He goes to say something else but a knock at the door interrupts, the pit in my stomach sinking further.
“You ready to party?” Caleb smiles grimly.
“Really should have stuck that pin in it,” I comment before finding my wine and knocking back the entire glass.
I DIG MY TOES FARTHER into the warm sand and try to dislodge the memory of that night from my mind. The party was a brutal test in faking emotion. I smiled more than a damn beauty queen that night. I also drank an entire bottle of wine. If anyone noticed they kept their cards close.
Speaking of cards…
I high five myself on that segue and instead decide to focus on Vegas. LA was supposed to be a reprieve but instead turned into a tension filled, soap opera. Caleb and I were dancing around every serious topic known to man. It was an education in conversation acrobatics.
Meanwhile, Logan and Natalie took turns trying to suck each other’s life force out with their mouths on one another. Is it possible to be turned off from kissing permanently?
I snort, yeah Bellamy. That’s why you and Caleb haven’t been sucking face.
Ugh, whatever. It has to get better when we’re on the road again, which really doesn’t bode well for our relationship but we desperately need a restart button. Thankfully, we leave in the morning.
Am I focused on the decision he’s going to make there? The one he has yet to tell me about? Where we might part ways forever?
Ha. No.
I really should just straight up ask him, but again…conversation acrobatics. This rules of this sport say no heavy relationship conversations, do not bring up anyone’s parents, no talking about GEDs, and definitely no talking about the ten thousand words that are passed due.
“Hey!” Natalie screams from deck of our rental.
I drop my head and concede that I won’t be relaxing the afternoon away. Not if magnet mouth finally tore herself way from her other half.
“Hey! Emo Bellamy!” Natalie screams again and I turn to look. “Yes! You, my sad friend.”
I groan and get up off the sand, wiping my butt and trudging back up to the house. “What do you want?” I ask when I get close.
“Well, I finally managed to get that damn list away from Summer and scheduled something for just us girls to do today.”
I cross my arms and regard her dubiously. “What is it?”
She tugs my hair and I roll my eyes. I really need to get this… wait.
I widen my eyes in understanding. “We’re going to get my hair cut?”
“And eat something weird!” She squeals.
I nearly drop to my knees in gratitude. “Let’s do this!”
Five hours later, having sat in a chair and told the man with the best hair I’ve ever seen to do whatever he wants, I’m spinning towards a mirror about to see the new me.
I puff out my cheeks comically as if I’m about to lose my breakfast and keep my eyes closed as Tate, the stylist, takes off my cape and dusts the excess hair off my shoulders.
If the weight of my hair is anything to go by, it’s short.
I suck in a deep breath and open my eyes.
Leaning forward I study the girl in the mirror. My hair, which is wavy when it’s long, now has so much more curl and body as it brushes the tops of my shoulders.
And I have bangs!
They frame my face perfectly and really bring attention to my eyes. I blink those puppies rapidly, shocked by how big they look.
“Your moon face was swallowing your eyes and these gorgeous cheek bones,” Tate says nonchalantly, leaning down to join my reflection in the mirror.
Blunt and rude, but having spent the last couple hours in his chair I’m used to it.
“I layered through out so you won’t have a thick blanket draped on your head. Now it will move when you do. Unlike that mop you came in with.”
I snort. “Don’t go easy on me, Tate.”
He purses his lips and fluffs my ends. “I tapered the front to shape the lines in your face more. Bringing attention to these cheekbones and this cute little chin. And look at these eyes! You can actually see them. They don’t get swallowed by—“
“My big moon face,” I finish for him, smiling.
“Yes.” He seems pleased that I agree with him. I don’t. Agree with him that is. I don’t have a moon face. Do I?
I peer at the mirror again. “You added color?”
“Not too much. It’s rare to have a color like this naturally. I just gave you some depth.”
I nod and call out to Natalie who’s sitting in the plush waiting room, sipping champagne. I don’t even want to know what this is going to set me back if they serve freaking champagne in the waiting room.
I hear her rapid footfalls and I know she has to be so excited.
“Holy shit!” she gasps. “You look so hot! Like a mix between Mila Kunis and Zooey Deschanel. Oh my God, I love it!”
I smile so broadly my face hurts. What a comparison. I’ll take it!
“You don’t think it’s too short?” I finger the ends and look back in the mirror. Tate had to have taken off about six inches.
“No! It looks amazing. So healthy. Bell!” she squeaks, and I watch her fan her face.
“Are you crying?” I ask in disbelief.
“You’ve just grown so much! I’m so proud. My little caterpillar has blossomed into a beautiful butterfly.” She ends on a wail and Tate disappears instantaneously.
I giggle. “That’s sweet, thank you. But let’s get you fed, I think you’re delirious from lack of hunger.”
“More like four glasses of champagne.” She winks.
I roll my eyes at the little boozer. “Where we going to eat?”
“It comes in taco form,” she promises and helps me out of the chair.
“What does?” I ask dubiously.
“I’ll tell you after.”
“Natalie!” I whine and head to the front where Tate’s waiting for us.
“You gotta trust me on this one.”
“I really don’t. I really, really, do not.” I smile at Tate. “What do I owe my magician?”
He takes out his phone, his chip reader attached to the top, and hands it to me, total first.
I swallow hard and… ok, no I didn’t pee. I thought I peed a little because how the hell does a haircut cost this much?!
I shoot Natalie a nasty look as I swipe my card, but she’s suddenly riveted by the ceiling. Chicken shit.
I thank Tate and grab Natalie’s hand, yanking her behind me. “How did you find this place?”
“I just looked up best place to get your hair done last minute in LA.”
“God. So many things, Natalie. So much money,” I whimper, but catch my reflection in the window. Argh! Fuck it. I bounce and shake out my hands. “Ok. Let’s go eat these mystery tacos.”
Natalie drives us back to the beach and locates food truck parked near the pier.
“How did you find this place?” I ask leaning forward in my seat to study the truck. It’s lime green and sports the name, “Tummy Twister Tacos. Natalie, what am I about to put in my mouth?”
It’s so difficult to be very hungry and know you’re about to eat something nasty. Now I know what they feel like on those wilderness shoes as they shove bugs… wait a minute. “Are we eating bugs?!”
Natalie gags. “Ew, no. God find us a bench. I’ll order. No peeking at the menu!”
Rolling my eyes I find a bench and take my phone out to text Caleb.
What happen to Team Leave U
s Alone?
He responds instantly.
We gained a new member.
I’m bald and about to eat a goat’s nut in a taco.
What?!
This is what happens when you don’t vet new members.
LOL!
Realizing he’s no help, per usual, I slide my phone back into my purse and watch as a smiling Natalie approaches me with two baskets. Sitting next to me, she hands me mine which is just a simple looking taco with some tortilla chips.
“This is a set up,” I comment, bringing the taco up to my nose for a sniff, but it smells amazing. My stomach growls and I bad want to bite, but… ”Natalie, come on.”
“I’ll tell you after,” she says and takes a huge bite of hers.
If she can do it, I can do it.
I take the smallest bite an adult human can and focus intently. The meat is well seasoned and tender, the veggies crisp and the sauce bursting with flavor, “Ok, this is really good!” I decide to commit and take a huge bite.
“I’m so glad to hear you say that. It was between the cow tongue and the pig’s head. I went with the cow’s tongue.” She grins evilly as I choke.
“Natalie!” I cry out having already swallowed my enormous bite.
“What? You like it!” she shrugs, taking another bite of her taco.
Shit, I guess she’s right. I study the taco on my plate. Ah fuck it, I think and take another bite. It’s delicious. Finishing our lunch, I gather our trash and toss it.
“What did you end up getting?” I ask as we get back in the car.
“I had the blackened Mahi Mahi.” She laughs as I start smacking her arm. “This is your bucket list, bitch! Mine does not include eating weird shit.”
I squint. “Natalie?”
She pauses chewing, eyes widening from the crazy look I’m sure I’m giving her. “Yeah?”
“Run!” I yell and take off after her as she darts onto the beach, laughing hysterically.