Wanderlust (1986)

by Steel, Danielle

  Who? he had barked into the phone when she had called him, and she smiled in her hotel room, staring unseeing out the window as she held the phone.

  It's me, Grampa. Audrey, she repeated. You can't have forgotten me already.

  I was listening to Walter Winchell. She quickly calculated the time difference, and knew he was lying to her. He didn't want her to know he'd been sitting by the phone, praying she would call him. Where the devil are you anyway?

  In Chicago. At the La Salle Hotel. She had given him her itinerary before she left, at least as much of it as she knew, but the La Salle was on it.

  What is that? Some cheap hotel?

  Of course not! She laughed, suddenly missing him terribly. She felt far, far from home, and very lonely for him. It's near the Loop. And you've stayed here, too. You told me so yourself.

  I don't remember. But she knew he did. He was just being difficult, to ease the loneliness he felt without her. When do you go to New York?

  In the morning, Grampa.

  Well, see to it that you stay in your compartment. There's no telling what trash will be on that train. You have your own compartment, don't you? He sounded nervous and she was touched.

  Of course, Grampa.

  Good. Then stay in it. And then suddenly, he sounded meek, and almost pleading. It was so uncharacteristic that it brought tears to her eyes. Will you call me from New York?

  The moment I arrive. Her voice was gentle in his ears, and silently, at his end, he nodded. He wanted to thank her, but he didn't know how. He was even grateful for the call from Chicago.

  Where are you staying in New York?

  The Plaza, Grampa.

  That's right. And then a silence. Take care of yourself, Audrey.

  I will, Grampa. I promise. And you too. Don't stay up too late tonight.

  Be careful on that train! He sounded worried again. Stay in your compartment!

  And, of course, she did not heed his words on the Broadway Limited the next day. The lounge car was too intriguing with its well-populated bar patronized by happy, chattering people. The restaurant was equally plush, and the meal was superb, served by a waiter in tails. She shared a table with a couple on their honeymoon, and a very respectable-looking attorney from Cleveland, with a wife and four kids at home. But he asked if he could see her in New York anyway, and even offered her a ride in his cab from Penn Station to her hotel, but she declined, and sped away from the station in a taxi of her own, as she began taking pictures. She leaned forward in her seat in the enormous cab, braced herself and began snapping photographs of skyscrapers, and passersby, catching odd angles, funny hats, and the expressions on faces. She had a real genius for what she saw in the camera's eye, and she was totally engrossed as they pulled up to her hotel. There were hansom cabs parked outside, and the driver glanced at her curiously as she paid him.

  You a tourist or a pro? He couldn't figure her out. She was attractive and well dressed, and yet she looked like she really knew what she was doing with her camera.

  She smiled at him as the doorman took her bags. A little bit of both.

  You wanna tour of New York? He looked hopeful.

  Sure. She glanced at her watch. Give me an hour. I'll meet you here. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, and she had nothing but time on her hands, and a city to discover all by herself.

  The driver promised to return, and he was as good as his word. An hour later, she was back in the cab, whizzing past landmarks she had never seen during any of her trips to New York, the Empire State Building, Saint John the Divine. She even got him to drive her through Harlem, where her camera worked over-time, and she bought ice-cream cones for two little girls after taking their pictures.

  It was a heavenly day, a heavenly trip, a heavenly moment in a lifetime. And when she got back to her hotel, she felt as though she had seen it all. She had taken six rolls of film, of buildings, of people, of Harlem, of Central Park, the East River, the Hudson, the George Washington Bridge, Wall Street, Saint Patrick's. She bubbled over when she called her grandfather that night, and she was still feeling exhilarated when she took herself to 21 for dinner. It was the most famous speakeasy in New York, and one of the few where they'd let her in alone. She went in a pretty black cocktail dress, and two men approached her the moment she sat down, but the head waiter quickly asked them to return to the bar from whence they had come. And Audrey returned to the Plaza, as she had left it, without an escort.

  She had three days to spend in New York before boarding the ship, and she used them well. She visited all the sights she had wanted to see and even went to two movies, both of them starring Joan Crawford, whom Audrey loved, Grand Hotel which also starred Greta Garbo, and Rain with Crawford and Walter Huston. Both had come out the year before, but Audrey had never had the time to see them. And now she had nothing but time. She came out of the theaters feeling decadent and pleased, so much so that the next day she went to a matinee of A Bill of Divorcement with Katharine Hepburn.

  She walked endlessly and looked into the shops, and her only real regret was not being able to go to the El Morocco, which had opened a year and a half before, and Audrey had heard entrancing stories about it from Annie. They had gone on their honeymoon and apparently the decor was all done in zebra stripes, and all the cafe society types hung out there, drinking and dancing until the wee hours, beautiful women in fabulous clothes and handsome men looking extremely sexy and romantic. It was a scene Audrey would have liked to see, although there was no decent way for her to do so. She didn't know a soul in New York and she wouldn't have dreamed of going alone, even if they would have let her, which they wouldn't.

  She was fascinated, though, as she wandered the streets, the women looked so chic and the men so well dressed. Somehow it made San Francisco seem very sleepy, and she tried to describe it all to Annabelle when she called her.

  You're so lucky, Aud ' I'd give anything to be there with you.

  Everyone is wearing the most exquisite little hats, and the prettiest dresses. They both knew that funny little hats were the rage that year, but seeing dozens of them perched on heads everywhere suddenly brought it all to life. Everything was so much bigger and brighter and more exciting than it was in California. Suddenly San Francisco seemed so staid and sedate, and in fact it was. Audrey was thrilled to have escaped, even if only briefly.

  Did you go to El Morocco?

  Audrey laughed and shook her head as she stared out the window of her hotel room and talked to her sister. Of course not. How could I? I don't know anyone here to take me.

  I hear that they let people in free if they're good-looking and beautifully dressed ' . Her voice trailed off hopefully and Audrey laughed again. She had heard that too, it was the only way they could keep full and looking successful during the Depression. They let beautiful people in to make the place look busy and then their regulars would come, and no one would be the wiser.

  I don't think that would get me very far, without an escort. She said it without regret, and at her end Annabelle shrugged. It was stupid of Audrey to go traveling alone like some old woman. But she sighed then said, Maybe you're better off that way, Aud. She didn't want to say more. There was a catch in her voice that made Audrey wonder what Harcourt had been up to.

  Is everything all right? Her heart went out to her little sister as she asked. In her eyes, Annabelle was still a baby. Is anything wrong? She sounded like a tigress ready to defend her young, but Annabelle denied that anything was amiss, and Audrey wanted to believe her.

  We're fine. It's just ' so difficult without you. I don't know how you do everything just right, and ' There were tears in her eyes, but fortunately Audrey couldn't see them.

  You do just fine. Just have patience. You can't learn everything overnight.

  Harcourt thinks I can. She sounded woebegone now, and Audrey smiled.

  Men don't understand things like that. Look at Grandfather. Annabelle smiled through her tears. You're doing just fine. It was the same encourag
ement she had given her for a lifetime. You do a beautiful job with little Winston. Actually, it was true. She was like a little girl playing with her dolly.

  I'm so afraid I'll do something wrong ' . She started to worry and Audrey cut her off.

  You won't. You're his Mother. You know what's best. She was now thinking of how expensive the call was going to be. She had only brought five thousand dollars of the money her parents left her when they died, and it had to last for the whole trip. I'd better go now, love. I'll call you before I sail.

  When's that?

  In two days. She knew Annabelle didn't envy her that. She had always gotten desperately seasick on their trips back and forth to Hawaii, and she still did. Harcourt said that she'd never come out of her cabin on the Ile de France once during the whole trip, on their honeymoon. But she had recovered very quickly once in Paris. Chanel, Patou, Vionnet. She had made the rounds, and had spent a fortune. Take care of yourself, and give Grandfather my love.

  He never calls me, she wailed.

  Call him, for heaven's sake! Audrey sounded annoyed. Annie never thought of reaching out to anyone. She waited for everyone to come to her. He needs you now.

  All right ' I'll call him. And call me if you get to El Morocco! Audrey laughed to herself as she hung up the phone. How different they were, it was funny to think about it sometimes, and how Annabelle would have hated the trip she had planned for herself once she reached Europe. Chanel and Patou were nowhere on Audrey's itinerary. She had other fish to fry, and as soon as she reached the ship the next day, she felt her heart race. She stood looking up at the four smokestacks of the Mauretania, and suddenly it was like a dream come true. Even her father's albums faded from her mind, all she could think of were her own travels, her own adventures, her own plans, as she settled into her cabin on A deck. There was no one to see her off of course, but she wandered upstairs when they set sail, and watched the ship pulling slowly away from the dock as passengers threw streamers and confetti and called out to friends on shore. The boat's horn sounded, drowning out all other sounds, and beside her she saw a young couple arm in arm, she in a beautiful pink silk suit with one of the exquisite little hats that Annabelle would have so loved. She had raven black hair and huge blue eyes and creamy skin, and she wore pink linen T-strap shoes edged in gold, and as she waved to a friend on the shore, Audrey was aware of a very large diamond bracelet. And then as the boat horn faded, she heard the sound of her laughter, and then she saw her kissing the man who was with her. He was wearing heavy white linen trousers and a navy blue blazer, a hat pulled low over one eye, and together they looked extremely dashing as they strolled off arm in arm, still laughing and stopping to kiss from time to time. Audrey found herself wondering if they were on their honeymoon, and she was almost sure of it later when she saw them sipping champagne in the lounge before dinner. She saw them eyeing her then, and she watched them from across the dining room that night. The woman was wearing a spectacular white evening gown with a plunging neckline, her husband was in black tie, and Audrey herself had worn a gray satin evening dress that suddenly looked a great deal less sophisticated than it had only a few months before in San Francisco. But she didn't really care. She was having a marvelous time watching everyone else, and she put her silver fox jacket around her shoulders as she went out on deck after dinner. And there she saw them again, kissing in the moonlight and holding hands. She sat down in a deck chair and looked out at the moon, and smiled as they walked past her again, and then suddenly she was startled when they stopped near her chair and the woman smiled at her.

  Are you traveling alone? She spoke directly to Audrey and she was even more beautiful when one looked into the incredible sapphire eyes, in fact they looked more like blue diamonds.

  Yes, I am. She felt suddenly shy. It was one thing to dream about having adventures, and quite another to embark on a trip all alone, and have to meet new people and explain it all to them. She felt suddenly awkward and young as the exquisitely dressed young woman walked toward her.

  My name is Violet Hawthorne, and this is my husband, James. She casually waved the same hand that, earlier, had worn a diamond bracelet, only now it was wearing a very, very large emerald ring with a bracelet to match, and what she had failed to mention to Audrey was that James was actually The Lord James Hawthorne, and she was Lady Violet, a marchioness by birth. But there was nothing haughty or snobbish in her eyes as she smiled at Audrey, and her husband wandered over to shake her hand, chiding his wife for being rude, but there was laughter in his voice, and he looked as though he could hardly keep his hands off his spectacular-looking wife as he put an arm around her shoulders.

  Are you on your honeymoon? Audrey couldn't resist asking and they both laughed.

  Do we look like that? Violet laughed right out at the thought. How shocking ' that terrific anxious look that tells everyone you can't wait to get to bed. Darling, really, how awful ' . Audrey blushed at the frank words, but all three of them laughed and Violet was quick to correct her. I'm afraid we've been married for six years, and have two children waiting for us at home ' no, we've just been off on holiday. Actually, James has a cousin in Boston, and I wanted to come to New York. It's absolutely marvelous this time of year. Are you from New York? She smiled as she asked, seemingly oblivious of the staggeringly handsome portrait she made, standing there in her white evening dress, trailing an ermine wrap, with the emeralds flashing in the ship's lights. Audrey was quite overwhelmed and felt absolutely like a bumpkin.

  Actually, I'm from San Francisco. Lady Violet's eyebrows shot up in interest. She had the most expressive face and seemed hardly older than Audrey.

  Are you? Were you born there? She loved to ask questions, and her husband was quick to intervene, chiding her laughingly.

  Will you stop interrogating people, Vi. Really you must stop that! But Americans had been extremely tolerant of her, in fact very few seemed to object, if any, and they were quite happy to answer all of her questions.

  I don't mind, Audrey was quick to interject and Lady Violet apologized.

  I'm so sorry. James is right. I have a frightful habit of asking too many questions. In England, everyone thinks me terribly rude. Americans seem to be better sports about it. She smiled ingenuously and Audrey laughed.

  I don't mind. Actually, I was born in Hawaii and moved to San Francisco when I was eleven, my parents were from there originally.

  How very interesting. She sounded genuinely fascinated and Audrey laughed, realizing that she hadn't introduced herself to them yet. She held out a hand, and they completed the formal introduction and then James invited her to join them for champagne. He was an incredibly handsome man with shiny black hair, broad shoulders, and impeccable, aristocratic hands. Audrey had to fight herself not to stare at him, but he was so good-looking that one found oneself mesmerized by him as he talked, and to watch them together was like watching a movie. They embodied all that was glamour. They had it all, they were beautiful people in beautiful clothes, with witty things to say, incredible jewels, and an air of ease about them that anybody would have envied.

  Do you come to Europe often? It was Violet, asking questions again, but this time James didn't try to stop her.

  I've only been once, Audrey confessed. When I was eighteen. I went with my grandfather. We went to London and Paris, and a week at some spa on the Lake of Geneva. And then we went home to San Francisco.

  Evian probably. Terribly dull, isn't it? Violet and Audrey both laughed, James sat back watching his wife. He was obviously crazy about her, and as Audrey watched them she felt sorry for her sister. That was what marriage should have been like, two people who care about each other, who enjoy the same things, not strangers who only cared about how they looked to others. She would rather remain single for her entire life or wait until she found a man just like this one. And she found that she didn't envy Violet at all. She enjoyed watching the two of them together, as Violet went on chatting. My grandmother used to have this funny old
house in Bath. She used to go there for the 'waters, and every year they would send me with her. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hated it ' except, she looked up at James with a broad smile, there was one summer that wasn't quite as awful.

  I broke my leg shooting in Scotland, and went to stay with my great aunt, much against my will and better judgment, but ' there were a few benefits. Little Lady Vi here was one of them ' . His voice trailed off enticingly and she took the bait good-humoredly.

  You mean there were others?

  ' Oh, a pretty little thing at the bakery, as I recall, and ' .

  James, how could you! He was teasing her and she loved it and Audrey spent a delightful evening with them, laughing and teasing and talking about California, and the places she wanted to see in Europe.

  How long are you planning to stay, Audrey? James asked her pleasantly as he poured the last of their second bottle of champagne into their glasses.

  More or less until the end of the summer. I've promised my grandfather I would get home then. You see, I ' it's rather complicated, I'm afraid. I live with him, and he's eighty-one years old.

  Must be rather dreary for you, my dear ' . James sounded solicitous but she was quick to shake her head, out of love and loyalty, and she had always loved living with him. It was just that now, for a little while, she needed to do something different.

  He's a wonderful man, and actually we get along very well. She smiled. Not that you would believe that if you saw us together. We fight about politics constantly.

  That's good for one's health. I always argue with Vi's father. We enjoy it very much. They all smiled, in one night they had become the best of friends. Now, tell us your plans.

  Well, London first, and then Paris, and then I thought I might drive down to the South of France ' .

  Drive? He looked surprised and she nodded. By yourself, or with a driver?