I'll Say Anything

by Danielle Bourdon

  I hadn't thought about that. A cold chill slithered down my spine at the idea Brooks might send men after Jasper. We didn't live all that far from Vegas to begin with. A couple hours on the road would land them in our old hometown, and Ramsey was right; I didn't want to look over my shoulder or worry what I would find walking in the door from work every day. Yet accepting the money made me feel strange.

  “It's really all right,” Ramsey said in a quiet voice, as if he understood my inner turmoil.

  “I can't tell you how much it means, Ramsey.” Sliding the check from his fingers, I turned it around to glance at the amount. Twelve thousand dollars. Ten to pay Brooks back and two to recover with. I met Ramsey's eyes. He really was a great guy. I whispered, “In another lifetime.”

  Ramsey's lips tilted up at a corner, a solemn acknowledgement.

  Gathering my uniform, I paused to brush a light kiss across Ramsey's cheek, inhaling the unique scent that belonged to Ramsey alone. Then I retreated, trying to hold my head high, wishing away the blush that stained my cheeks.

  Just as I was about to shut the door to Ramsey's office, I thought I heard words floating on the air.

  “Goodbye, Finley.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  It took forever to get home. If there had ever been a time I would have hailed a taxi, tonight was the night. Out of money, with a check I couldn't cash until morning, I had no choice but to jog the distance between the Olympus and our apartment. It gave me time to examine my feelings for Jasper, to put the situation in perspective. I couldn't wait to see him, which wasn't all that unusual, except that I was now more aware of an inner anticipation I hadn't recognized before. I was always happy to be in his presence, more comfortable there than anywhere.

  Did comfort equate to love? I didn't know.

  Arriving in the alley, I glimpsed Jasper's Camaro sitting out in front of the closed garage and breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't going to pull a stunt like stay gone all night just to thwart my plans.

  Letting myself in, I immediately heard Jasper banging around the bedroom. Tossing my uniform on a loveseat, I crossed to the doorway.

  “We're not leaving and that's that,” Jasper said without looking my way. He was busy unpacking the suitcase, haphazardly hanging our clothes in the closet.

  I watched him yank tee shirts from the case and jam the material over hangers. He shot me a frowning glare, eyes gleaming in the dim light of the bedroom. Dressed in jeans and a plain blue shirt, the laces undone on his boots, he looked the same as he always did. Tilting my head against the door frame, I continued to watch and say nothing.

  “What?” Jasper said a few minutes later, clearly agitated. He paused with a shirt and jeans in his hands to stare at me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?” I said.

  “I don't know. But it's weird.”

  “Maybe I'm just tired.” That wasn't it and I knew it. The longer I watched Jasper, the more emotion swelled in my chest. Overwhelmed with it, I wasn't sure what else to say or do. Which wasn't like me at all.

  “You don't get tired. Did something happen at work? Hey, was Adrian an ass again? Because I'll go down there right now and--”

  “No. I haven't seen Adrian all day.”

  “Good.” Jasper kept throwing me odd looks as he cleared the suitcase out. Zipping it closed, he set it against the wall in the corner, the only place we had to store it. “So, about Brooks. I think I have an idea--”

  “We don't have to worry about that anymore.” I pulled Ramsey's folded check from my pocket and extended it between two fingers. Jasper, still frowning, stepped over to take it and look at the amount. His face flushed and his frown turned into an all out scowl.

  Not the reaction I was expecting.

  “Fantastic. So your boyfriend comes to the rescue.” Jasper shoved the check into my hand. “No thanks. I'll take care of it.”

  Snapping out of my Am I in love with Jasper? Yes, I think I am stupor, I fumbled the check as Jasper pushed past me into the living room. Following, I borrowed his frown and said, “Wait, what? And just how are you going to take care of it? What happened to the I don't have it! argument? This is a way out, Jasper, and I think we should take it.” After a moment, I added, “And he's not my boyfriend.”

  “I'm not a charity case, Fin. I don't need his money.” Jasper paced through the apartment, hands on his hips, face a mask of annoyance.

  Worry over Jasper's stubbornness and Parker's threats made me forget everything but the crisis at hand. I could deal with the other emotions later. “I think you do need the money though. It wasn't easy for me to take, either, but we can pay him back out of our paychecks--”

  “I'm not taking it, Finley.” Jasper gave me a warning look. One I knew meant I was in for a difficult time to convince him otherwise.

  “Then consider it an advance on my paycheck. The money isn't from him, it's mine, and I'm pitching in.”

  Jasper snorted.

  “Are you kidding me? You're going to get defensive? You owe a loan shark ten grand, Jasper, you don't have the luxury of pride right now.” I'd never held back the truth from Jasper and I wasn't about to start now.

  “And how would you feel if you were ten grand in debt and I brought home a check from Cecilia? Hm?” He arched his brows in challenge.

  Right away, the suggestion rankled. I'd eat dirt before ever accepting a handout from that girl. Yet I saw it in a different light than Jasper accepting the help from Ramsey, and admitted to myself that I might have been biased. I wanted Jasper out of danger and out of trouble, which meant accepting Ramsey's aid.

  “Yeah, see?” Jasper pointed at my face as if he could tell exactly what I was thinking.

  He knew me well enough. He probably could.

  “Jasper, you have to take it. There is no other way. We'll pay it back and treat it like a loan from anywhere else. It's not charity, it's just a temporary fix.” With effort, I tried to calm my rising temper.

  “I'm not accepting the money from Ramsey. Give the check back. I mean it, Finley.”

  So much for containing my temper. Instead of argue, I about-faced and slammed the door to the bedroom.

  Mister I'll do it my way could help himself to the loveseat tonight.

  *

  It was agony, listening for Jasper in the other room. Dressed in my own pajamas for once (as a show of defiance), I laid in bed, arm thrown across my forehead, and stared through the gloom at the ceiling. Twice I'd heard Jasper leave the apartment, and had worried and fretted until he returned. Each time he'd only been gone a few minutes, indicating he'd been pacing the sidewalk in agitation. Either that, or he was trying to decide whether or not to spend the night elsewhere.

  And how would I feel if he did? It would hurt, that's what. I didn't want to spend the night alone, didn't want to have hours and hours of tension between us. I must have fallen asleep listening for him, because the next thing I knew, the bed was moving as he crawled over me to his side. It stirred me just enough to feel relief at his presence and to roll over, seeking my usual niche against his shoulder.

  This was a habit I didn't want to break. Accepting me with a long exhale, he played his fingers over the knobs of my spine, earning a shiver for his effort. He smoothed his palm over my back after that, chasing the chills away.

  “I'm glad you stayed,” I said, voice muffled against his chest.

  “Until tomorrow, Fins. Then we'll see what we need to do.”

  I was too tired to argue. I wanted to sleep and forget our problems for now.

  A tickle against my hip woke me some time later. The bedroom was still gloomy, indicating no sunlight filtered in from the living room to diffuse a gentle glow throughout. I could barely make out Jasper's shape on the mattress next to me. My hand on his chest proved we were face to face, with one of my legs tangled between his. A warm breath brushed my cheek, stirring the ends of my hair. I sought Jasper's eyes only to find him watching me in the darkness. He
seemed intent and thoughtful, one hand clutching the curve of my hip.

  The surge of heat I read in his gaze surprised me. We'd slept entangled like this hundreds of times without the slightest niggle of attraction to disturb our comfort. I knew I couldn't be imagining the creeping sensation of lust that made my skin tingle.

  Suddenly, I wanted to kiss Jasper more than I'd wanted anything, ever. It shook me to my core, this need to feel his mouth on mine. Maybe he was thinking the same thing, too, because in the next second, he tilted his head to kiss me. A shank of hair fell across his forehead and his fingers spasmed on my hip, gripping to pull me closer. Tentative at first, wary that the reality of our attraction wouldn't live up to my expectations, I opened for his kiss, inviting him in. Not only did the taste and texture of his mouth surpass my expectations, my reaction blew me away. The level of desire skyrocketed as he expertly sought all the darkest recesses, dipping his tongue into the sweetness beneath mine. He groaned, as if I was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

  These first minutes were filled with cautious exploration, until Jasper grew bolder when I didn't end the kiss. He rolled me slowly onto my back and skimmed his fingertips beneath the elastic band on the pajama pants, grazing a touch over the bone of my pelvis. Shuddering, I returned the favor, gliding my palms up his back under the butter soft tee shirt he wore.

  Breaking the kiss, Jasper stared down at me with a question in his eyes. I didn't need to tell him to continue. Not with words. Not after we'd spent a lifetime reading each other's expressions and nuances. He breathed my name as if I was precious and fragile, then rolled his hips between mine, parting my thighs with the thin barriers of our pajamas preventing skin to skin contact. I could still feel the shape and heat of him, a long, hot brand that made my body jolt with fresh desire.

  Just that fast, we were peeling each other out of our clothes, mouths brushing with stolen kisses while our hands discovered all the sensitive spots we'd never known existed until now. It enchanted me to learn Jasper this way, to know that he found pleasure when I raked his back with my nails and rocked my hips up into his.

  “I've waited a lifetime for this,” Jasper said in a reverent whisper. He timed the shocking sentiment to an agonizingly sweet penetration, watching my eyes while he sheathed himself inside me.

  Jasper saved me from a reply—or a non-reply, as it turned out—by kissing me as he began to move. I wrapped one thigh around his leg, arching into the press of his pelvis, drawing another groan from him with another scrape of my nails down his back. That was the way he had me: methodical, slow, enjoying every inch of slick heat that he claimed for himself. Jasper didn't just love me, he seared his passion onto my soul, obliterating everything except his mouth, his hands, the skill of his thrusts.

  He coaxed both soft cries and urgent whispers from me, until I was begging for release. Just when I thought it couldn't feel any better he picked up the pace, turning my soft sounds into sharper noises of sheer lust.

  “That's what I want to hear, baby. Say my name just like that,” Jasper said, shaping the rumble of words over the sensitive arch of my throat.

  I gave Jasper everything he wanted, everything he demanded. Taking me to heights I'd never dreamed, he built the pressure until we were both on the edge, panting and gasping. When we tumbled off the precipice we did it together, bodies rocked with stillness first, then a fallout of jerks and spasms. Jasper kissed me through the aftermath, ushering in a new day with a final shudder and sigh.

  Weak light spilled in through the living room windows, casting the small bedroom into a subtle shade of gray, providing me the ability to better see the intent, glazed look Jasper slanted down at me.

  He didn't need to say it aloud: everything had changed. We were no longer just Jasper and Finley, friends extraordinaire. Now we were lovers and there was no taking it back.

  Not that I wanted to.

  Never had I experienced such intensity being with a man and I suspected that anyone else would pale in comparison. What made things complicated was that we lived together, and I wasn't known for continuing trysts like these beyond a night or two.

  What would happen tomorrow night, and the next? Would my feelings for him, feelings I still needed to examine under a microscope, finally change me?

  “You're way too thoughtful after all that,” Jasper whispered.

  “You're not?” I asked, relaxing under his weight.

  “No. What's to be thoughtful about? That was beyond fantastic, and you can't tell me otherwise. My ears are still echoing with your Oh Jasper! pleas.”

  I wondered if he could see the blush racing over my cheeks. “A gentleman doesn't bring that kind of thing up, post-coitus.”

  “Whoever said I was a gentleman?” He arched a brow, one hand smoothing the hair back from my face.

  “You could pretend.” My eyelids shuttered closed for the strokes of his hand in my hair.

  “Just so you can blast me for it later? No way, Fins.”

  Pushing the complications our union might produce from my mind, I floated on a cloud of temporary bliss, allowing Jasper to gather me to him when he finally disengaged and rolled to my side. I fell asleep like that, nestled in the security of his arms, limbs twined with his.

  Later would be soon enough to figure out what this would do to our relationship.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The smell of breakfast pulled me from the dregs of sleep. Pancakes and bacon, unless my nose deceived me, waited on the kitchen table. None of that was unusual. What was unusual was the pleasant ache between my thighs, which gave me a two-second pause until I remembered what happened in the middle of the night.

  Sitting up, the sheet falling away from my body, I yawned and threw my legs over the side of the bed. Tugging on my pajamas and the discarded tee shirt, I headed out of the bedroom into the living room.

  Jasper, already showered and dressed, set a final plate of strawberries next to the whipped cream. Instead of jeans and a greasy shirt, he wore pressed slacks and a crisp button down of white.

  He glanced over and paused, eyeballing me as if trying to assess my mood.

  I smiled a tired smile, thinking I probably looked as sated as I felt. As for what to expect—I had no idea. I didn't feel uncomfortable, only curious at the change in our status. “Morning.”

  “Morning, Fin.” He turned back to the counter for a spoon, which he stabbed into the whipped cream. “Made you some breakfast.”

  “Thanks. You're not eating?” I asked on my way to the bathroom. Closing the door, I took care of all the necessary early morning business. After washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I exited into the living room and plopped down into a chair.

  “I already had some,” Jasper said, picking up the conversation as if we'd never left off.

  “Why are you dressed like that, and why are you wearing a tie?” I put three pancakes on my plate, sliced up some strawberries and topped that with a few dollops of whipped cream. Jasper knew my habits well. Not used to seeing him dressed so, I found myself staring. He caught me a few times, his expression shifting between intrigue and bemusement.

  “I'm going to the bank this morning,” he said, sucking a smear of cream off his thumb before closing the lid on the container.

  “Oh, to cash the check? I signed the back already. Just sign under me and it should be good to go.” Jasper and I shared an account, even though we weren't married. It had been easier in the beginning to dump our money into a communal account to pay bills.

  “I'm not taking the check to the bank, Finley. I'm going to try and get another loan.”

  The first bite of pancakes halted halfway to my mouth. “Why are you doing that? They turned you down last time.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Jasper said with a quirk of his lips. “But I hadn't been at my job for very long then, and now I make more than I did.”

  Because I was hungry, I ate the bite of pancakes. It allowed me a few minutes to overcome my surprise and the sting of anger that h
e was apparently going to refuse Ramsey's money. Finally, I said, “I think you should just use Ramsey's money and we can pay him back. He won't even charge us interest, like the bank will, which means we'll pay it off sooner.”

  “No.”

  “You can't just say no.”

  “But I did, and I mean it.” He paused to watch me, then added, “Don't get irked, Fins. This is the better way.”

  “It's not. I don't know why you're being so stubborn.” I stabbed another bite of food, irritated and unable to hide it.

  “I told you. I can handle my own business.”

  “Yes, and we've seen how well that's worked out so far.” Just when I thought we were at an end over the stress of Parker Brooks, Jasper went and threw a curve ball into the mix. He couldn't make it easy on everyone, no, he had to antagonize me about the money and the danger. The dead silence pervading the kitchenette drew my gaze back to Jasper from the plate.

  He looked pissed. Without another word, he pivoted toward the door.

  Any other time, I would have heckled him all the way to the Camaro. I wasn't afraid of a disagreement with Jasper Lowe. We had them all the time. This morning, however, after the events of the last week and last night especially, I wasn't willing to just let him go.

  Catching him outside on the walk, I hooked my fingers under his arm to bring him to a halt. He exhaled, loudly, then looked back and down into my eyes.

  “What?” he said with no small amount of exasperation.

  “I don't want you to leave like this. Not...now.” Just being this close to him sent fissures of desire through me. It was almost like seeing Jasper for the first time through a clear lens that had once been out of focus. Strange, I thought, considering I knew everything else there was to know about him. I could identify his voice in a crowd, anticipate his wants for food, clothing and women.

  “Then let me go and let me try again.”